u/Practical-Tie-8720

I'm considering a little project to make a present for my wife. I was going to buy a lab diamond from Alibaba. The vendors I've spoken to on the site have been helpful, have provided certificates for the ones I've been interested in. The certificates are always IGI, is that ok? Is there anything with an IGI certificate I should be concerned about?

Similarly, is there anything I should be worried about buying a lab grown diamond from Alibaba? I figured I'd use a vendor with a good review score (and number of reviews), and come with the Alibaba guarantee. I figured I could always fall back on to my credit card protection too.

With lab-grown diamonds becoming more common and much cheaper, is there any reason natural diamonds will hold their value, or are prices likely to fall over time?

Hi I'm in my early 40s, based near Manchester UK. Looking to make some internet friends of a similar age. Got a happy busy life with wife and 3 kids, just looking for someone to chat to whose life is a bit similar, perhaps someone I can chat to with life feels a bit overwhelming. Someone to be honest and open with, and I'm happy to listen and support in return.

I'm into indie/electronic music, enjoy running and playing in a poker league (I'm pretty good).

Would love to text chat to people who are similar, if this is your thing, send me a DM and I'm happy to chat to see if we click

Hi I'm in my early 40s, based near Manchester UK. Looking to make some internet friends of a similar age. Got a happy busy life with wife and 3 kids, just looking for someone to chat to whose life is a bit similar, perhaps someone I can chat to with life feels a bit overwhelming. Someone to be honest and open with, and I'm happy to listen and support in return.

I'm into indie/electronic music, enjoy running and playing in a poker league (I'm pretty good).

Would love to text chat to people who are similar, if this is your thing, send me a DM and I'm happy to chat to see if we click

I had a gf before going to university, honestly she was the most beautiful person ever, inside and out. I worshipped her, would have stepped in front of a train for her. She broke it off the summer before we were going to other ends of the country for university. It was inevitable. We never would have lasted, our whole lives ahead of us and it wouldn’t have been fair on either to try to keep things going. I definitely would have tried. I don’t resent her for not. That was the mature, right decision. Those last few weeks before I left were bad. Really bad. A dark pit of despair. I don’t exaggerate. We didn’t speak for those weeks because we weren’t together anymore and it was truly awful. The worst feeling of my life ever. Probably still to this day. I couldn't stop being physically sick. She called me on exam results day (we both did v well), and once I hung up I threw up in the street. We met up to “catch up” the week before we went to university and I told her I could never see her ever again, it was upsetting me too much and if I stayed in her life I’d always want more and it would destroy me to see her with anyone else. She was surprised, said she didn’t want that but I couldn’t cope. I told her I loved her, I’d never said that to her before. I said goodbye, kissed her on the forehead and walked away. We never spoke again. Simultaneously the worst moment of my life and the best decision.

I went to university the next week, locked those feelings away deep, deep inside me and moved on. I never let myself think about her and dwell on it. I met my wife a week later (not a rebound, we didn’t start dating until 6ish months later and there were several girls in between). My wife is the best person in the world, better than my ex in every way. We have been married for 15+ years, three phenomenal children and honestly if I was to tell my 18 year old self that this was how my life and career would turn out, I’d be very very happy.

When I look back, my life radically changed once I got to university, I don't really speak to many from school anymore, I don't live in that town anymore. My career and aspirations took me far away, on a great journey. I've built my own wonderful life. Not because of her, or in spite of, that's just who I am and who I've become. I am a different person now.

My ex has tried to add me on Facebook a couple of times, I declined both times. The first she was engaged, the second blindsided me because she had a different surname. Her photo was her holding a baby. I don’t know if it was hers. I don’t think she was trying to torment me or upset me, I expect she just wanted to connect and see how we were both getting on.

Earlier this year I bumped into her, kind of - I say bumped into but we didn't acknowledge each other. It was at a farm, you know - the kind of farm for kids to pet the animals and climb on tractors etc. I had my wife and kids with me, and some other friends. She was with a couple of kids but her body language suggested they weren’t hers. Kinda looked like she was their aunt. I saw her first and kept my distance. She saw me later on. We didn’t make eye contact or say hi. I could see she was looking at who I was with, working which kids were mine etc. She disappeared quickly after noticing. I was surprisingly ok with this. So much so that I thought I was finally "over it", I considered Googling her and seeing what she’s up to etc. I decided not to.

I carried on with my life and the day to day of living in a very busy family. Two days later it hit me like a train. It was like 25 years hadn’t passed and the pain was raw and extremely upsetting. It hijacked everything I did, stole my focus. I was again going over all that was going wrong towards the end of our time together. I found myself crying. 25 years later! With a beautiful, better wife and amazing kids! WTF!

The pain wouldn’t go. I clearly couldn’t talk to my wife about this. I went to therapy. I cried more. The therapist was great. I’d never spoken with one before and I felt very embarrassed about crying over a relationship 25 years ago when I was 18. She treated me with humility and respect and helped me get back on track. She showed me I was still grieving and things like this don't hold to time like everything else, especially as I moved away and shifted my life so drastically so quickly after. She explained that I was idealising, that I was pining for something that potentially wasn't even there at the time, and definitely isn't now. I am genuinely fine with all of this.

Right now thinking about her is still happening in my background thoughts for a lot of the day. I can push it away and it doesn’t derail my day. It has just become part of me. I expect the thoughts will subside with time.

I miss her terribly. My chest physically hurts thinking about her. I'd known her since I was 9. In an alternative reality we would have had a brilliant life together. But my current life with my wife is better.

I don't know why I've shared this or who needs to read it, but I feel like this is necessary for me as part of my healing journey. I've come to the acceptance that there will always be a "what if" and it will never go away, and I'm ok with that. I have to be.