u/RagabondRunner

I (22F) have always been involved in positions of leadership and responsibility, in school and college. I used to be the head girl and sports captain of my school, batch representative and head of student association in college and also led my battalion in the NCC. My career plan at this stage is to join the Army, for which I got recommended at SSB recently.

Although I’m keen on serving in the Army with distinction and merit for the long term, I’m also thinking if I should join politics 20 years down the line (I know, I like to plan a lot and stick to it). I’m from a middle class family with no links to politics and politicians, but I really feel I would be able to do a good job of bringing change to society through politics and leadership.

I (22F) have always been involved in positions of leadership and responsibility, in school and college. I used to be the head girl and sports captain of my school, batch representative and head of student association in college and also led my battalion in the NCC. My career plan at this stage is to join the Army, for which I got recommended at SSB recently.

Although I’m keen on serving in the Army with distinction and merit for the long term, I’m also thinking if I should join politics 20 years down the line (I know, I like to plan a lot and stick to it). I’m from a middle class family with no links to politics and politicians, but I really feel I would be able to do a good job of bringing change to society through politics and leadership.

I’m (22F) competing in upcoming Tuffman half marathon, in Delhi. This is my first Tuffman participation and I want to do well. What is it like? Any tips or words of advice?

I (22F) don’t get along well with my parents. My father used to hit me while I was growing up and my mother has very narcissistic tendencies and resents me a lot. I have a younger brother whom I absolutely love and try to stand up for him and be there for him as much as I can. I also have an aunt whom I absolutely love but she is very busy as she works in a fairly senior position at an MNC and travels frequently these days.

I had friends in college but they have all been placed and scattered across the country, and I think we are starting to drift apart. They are starting their jobs after shifting to new cities, and generally have different priorities now. I didn’t sit for placements because I was preparing for the Armed Forces. I got recommended to join the Army recently.

I have been staying away from my parents for the most part since I turned 17 (went to live with do engineering). I’m now currently at home for a few months now that college is over. I’ve realised just how much my parents and I have drifted apart, and I just can’t depend on them to be my support system. There’s really no one I can reach out to if I’m feeling the pressure and must depend only on myself.

While so far things have been fine, I’m not sure just how sustainable this is, to not have a support system at all in my 20s. By nature, I’m an ambitious and independent person, but I sometimes wish I too had loving parents and close friends to depend on but that’s just not the case.

I (22F) lean moderate right, in terms of ideology. I really feel that in the last year or so, the BJP has a lot of elements who only like to flex power and deflect accountability in the name of Hinduism, and have abysmal record in terms of governance. I don’t know what has gone wrong in the last few months but the government’s failures in delivering on civic infrastructure, fair exams, employment opportunities etc seem to be very glaring. On top of this, the allegations of corruption in the donations for Ram Mandir, as well as the MP CM’s family’s purchase of properties is also very saddening. Not sure how things can change but overall it’s looking very discouraging, as someone who is right wing and has been supporting the BJP.

I’m half Punjabi and half Pahadi. Relatives on both sides of my family have very fair complexion. I had fair complexion, but over the years, because of sports, trekking and a lot of time sweating it out in the outdoors, my complexion has gotten darker and is quite dusky complexion. It looks like I have a permanent tan. My mother and sometimes my relatives keep passing stray remarks every now and then about how I look so different from my family and should focus more on skin care and make up. I have zero problems with my complexion and actually quite like it, but it’s just annoying to hear others passing remarks. How common is such colourism? Really annoying and unnecessary.

I’m half Punjabi and half Pahadi. Relatives on both sides of my family have very fair complexion. I had fair complexion, but over the years, because of sports, trekking and a lot of time sweating it out in the outdoors, my complexion has gotten darker and is quite dusky complexion. It looks like I have a permanent tan. My mother and sometimes my relatives keep passing stray remarks every now and then about how I look so different from my family and should focus more on skin care and make up. I have zero problems with my complexion and actually quite like it, but it’s just annoying to hear others passing remarks. How common is such colourism? Really annoying and unnecessary.

I (22F) am in the process of joining the Army. I’m 5’11 and am a boxer. I also competed in judo for many years. I weigh about 70kgs (155 lbs) and can do 15 pull ups. I work out and train regularly and try to meet the men’s standard of physical fitness. What should I know before facing military training?

I (22F) am a regular runner. I have noticed that across 2-3 weeks of running (approximately covering 25-35 km), I get blisters on my feet and they hurt pretty bad. They take a few days to become normal. Is this normal rate for getting blisters? Am I doing something wrong? My timings and speed is otherwise good and I keep pushing my PRs.

Unraveling patriarchy, one bike ride at a time

So I (22F) ride a bike. It is a Royal Enfield Classic 350. It belongs to my cousin brother. He shifted abroad a few months ago and has passed it down to me to ride. I love riding it, and go on long rides every couple of weeks. Recently I returned from a ride, and a neighbour kid saw me. He is about 6 years old. He was a bit confused when he saw me park it and asked me (called me aunty btw lol) whether ladies can also ride bikes - because he never saw this before. I just told him yes, we do ride as well, and it’s just another mode of transport which doesn’t care about gender.

I think this interaction will change his perception, in a positive way, in terms of understanding how gender roles are not fixed and it all boils down to life choices and autonomy. Or maybe he won’t remember the conversation at all. Who knows.

My post was about gender expectations and norms. Not specifically about the ability or desire of women to ride a bike.

So I (22F) ride a bike. It is a Royal Enfield Classic 350. It belongs to my cousin brother. He shifted abroad a few months ago and has passed it down to me to ride. I love riding it, and go on long rides every couple of weeks. Recently I returned from a ride, and a neighbour kid saw me. He is about 6 years old. He was a bit confused when he saw me park it and asked me (called me aunty btw lol) whether ladies can also ride bikes - because he never saw this before. I just told him yes, we do ride as well, and it’s just another mode of transport which doesn’t care about gender.

I think this interaction will change his perception, in a positive way, in terms of understanding how gender roles are not fixed and it all boils down to life choices and autonomy. Or maybe he won’t remember the conversation at all. Who knows.

Edit: My post was about gender expectations and norms. Not specifically about the ability or desire of women to ride a bike

This is my (22F) first monsoon in Delhi. Are there any good indoor running tracks? Looking for options which have a good environment and are affordable.

I HATE RUNNING ON TREADMILLS

I (22F) go on long bike rides occasionally. I just wear a tracksuit for such rides (along with a helmet of course). Just wanted to know if a biking jacket and trousers are actually worth it, since my budget is tight.

I’m 22, got recommended to join the Army recently. I served in the NCC in school and college, and as such, I’m thick skinned and used to spaces dominated by men. I also was not discriminated at any point and rose through the ranks on the strength of my merit.

But from a long term career standpoint, how did you deal with a career dominated by men? How did you respond to discrimination, belittling attitude, denial of opportunities? What are the things that worked for you?

I generally end up wearing men’s shoes due to my height (5’11), because women’s shoe model are rarer and difficult to find. But is there generally any difference in quality between the two for the same model of the shoe? I prefer Adidas shoes for running.

I turned 22 recently. I also graduated from college this year. With mounting financial responsibilities, parents getting older and a younger brother to take care of, I feel I’m no longer a ‘girl’, and have grown into a woman. I’m always thinking about the future, career, finances, repayment of family loans, my brother’s well being (he is okay, just has severe anxiety and needs support) and have lost all interest in movies, music, pop culture, fashion etc (things I have never really been very interested in to begin with). A few days back a few kids in my office building again called me aunty (had told them to call me didi a few months ago) and I didn’t even react or find it unnatural. Really feel I’ve aged by many years in the last year or so.

I (22F) am a national level judoka. 2 years ago I switched to boxing. I’m curious to know, what’s the learning curve of getting into MMA and BJJ like? Are there any good clubs in Delhi for MMA or BJJ? I’d like to try.

I am very close to my grand parents. I have been spending more time with them lately and they have been speaking to me about their experiences through partition. They both have had very traumatic and unbelievable experiences, but somehow made it here, in India. They said they are open to me transcribing their conversations (in Punjabi) to try and get it published as an article or a book maybe. I’m their only grand daughter and want to do this with them as a gift. What are the best tools for this?

I (22F) am an experienced runner. I mostly run on tracks or on roads. I recently ran on a treadmill because it was raining really hard. I ran for an hour on a slight incline. Although my speed was good, I have been experiencing an unusual strain in my lower calf muscles, something I have not experienced before while running outside (at least not the same type of pain). What could be the reason for this?

I go out for runs regularly in Delhi. I’m used to getting stares at and occasionally catcalled. I recently cut my hair really short and noticed that the stares and catcalls have reduced significantly. They probably think I’m a guy or something, at first glance. But I can’t believe this is what it takes to have a decent time here, and it’s really unfair.