u/Rayy500

I'm currently on episode 39 of the OG anime after finishing the reboot. I really love the OST, and I would love to know where I can listen to most, if not all, of it, since I can't find any of it on YouTube outside of one 2-hour collection of the best parts.

I'm currently doing my phlebotomy program, and I would love to know some tips on drawing blood and, most importantly, locating veins. I've done 3 blood draws, and 2 of them were successful. The 2nd one I did hit the vein, but no blood came out even after I moved the needle around.

I need 30 successful venipunctures, 10 successful capillary punctures, and at least a B in the course to graduate. There are 5 quizzes and a final exam; I've only taken 1 quiz, where I got a B.

All advice is welcome and appreciated.

Instead of looking at the negatives, I try to look at the positives with ASD and accept it as an important part of myself.

For me, it's that I can easily get into something and become a big fan of it. Last year it was anything Titanic; earlier this year it was Harry Potter, and currently it's Urusei Yatsura. I'm still a fan of the others I listed, but it's more casual now.

Also, I have a great memory for football(soccer) scores and stats, especially when it's the World Cup,

Purely in a friendly manner, not looking for a relationship, just friendship or camaraderie; besides, my religion prohibits dating(I'm a Muslim), which is probably a good thing. I've had enough pain in my 20 years of living, though like any straight guy, I do get really happy when an attractive woman acknowledges my existence.

I think the main reason why I'm not comfortable talking to most guys is cause in the past I've been bullied and treated poorly by most men I've met in my life, and the few that were friendly to me I only spoke about Football(soccer) and sometimes Anime with, while women have been the kindest and most helpful people in my life, I'm more comfortable being myself with them, and sharing my emotions and deeper thoughts. There's just something about a woman's presence and voice that puts me at ease and makes me feel like I could tell them anything.

I ofc never approach women; therefore, they rarely approach me, since my looks are mid and I probably don't look very friendly. I've only ever been a comrade with 2 girls since my Elementary school days: 1 in college who ghosted me after a few months, and the other was a wonderful person, but unfortunately I moved away, and she's busy with her own life, so we rarely talk.

I'm starting my phlebotomist program in a few days, so I hope I find some new people to be comrades with, male or female

For practically my entire life, I've felt alone in the world and an outsider whenever I'm in public; I just never perceived it as trauma.

I've never had a friend; I've had comrades, but they never lasted. I moved often, so I tried not to get attached to others or to avoid making connections altogether to avoid getting hurt. I think my trauma really started at the age of 13 when I moved to a new Middle School for 7th grade, leaving behind people I had known since 3rd grade; before that, my closest comrade moved away, which really hurt me. Sadly, it wasn't the first time this happened to me; I was also picked on at the Sunday school I went to(I'm a muslim). I was excluded and mocked relentlessly for being different; even a substitute teacher who was a teenager humiliated me in front of the class by laughing at my big front teeth, calling me a rabbit. Since then, I've never been comfortable being with other muslims.

Middle school was even worse; I was bullied for the clothes I wore, not having a phone, and not going to a barber for a haircut. Bar 2 people I was comrades with, everyone treated me like trash; I dreaded every day of school, didn't help that I had a jerk of an older brother who fat-shamed me, belittled me, called me overly sensitive, and said what I was going through wasn't that bad, and I was being overly dramatic. I cried myself to sleep almost every day because I felt so alone in the world; it was then that I felt suicidal. I never went through with it cause I didn't want to go to hell or traumatise my younger brother; instead, I wished that god would let me die and end my suffering. COVID happened, so I was trapped at home with my dark thoughts. That school year did serious damage to me mentally; I gave up on trying to make friends, thinking that no one could love me for my true self, hid my real self from everyone, and completely stopped approaching people.

High school was much better and actually quite enjoyable, but all of my comrades were younger than me, so I graduated all by myself. Then I had to move to TN, leaving behind all of my wonderful comrades, and being alone once again. College was a disaster, the worst time of my life since the hell that was 7th grade: no friends, presence of a ghost, watching others enjoying themselves with their friends while I watched alone, missing the people I knew in HS. I thought I made a comrade, but she ghosted me, ending an awful freshman year of college.

I dropped out and will be starting my phlebotomist program in a few days, though I've long given up on making comrades; I've been hurt by others too many times, and I'll probably never be able to move on from what happened in the past, as it's shaped me into the pathetic and lonely loser that I am now. The reason I keep living is to help others and die as a good person so I can go to heaven, where I'll be happy for all eternity.

I just don't feel like I'll ever find someone outside of my parents who'll love me as my true self. I've tried and either failed or it didn't last; I'm just fed up and tired of trying anymore.

Sorry for the long post; I just had a lot to get off my chest.

I was 13 when my Mom told me that I was autistic. She waited till I was older, since she thought I would react badly to the news, which was probably the right call.

It was actually a relief for me, since I always thought I was different compared to others, and it was nice to learn that my issues weren't entirely my fault and not simply cause I was an idiot.