u/Remote_Homework4031

a big issue I have is despite wanting to know more about the fandom, I just get to lazy to do lots of research. I know I have to since there are so many characters in the Creepypasta fandom, and I already know a bunch. but it feels like if I don’t know every detail about every character, im a fake. Listening to people read the stories even in the background doesnt feel like I’m absorbing the info, and I don’t like reading a ton.

for example recently I’ve been getting recommended on Pinterest lots of images of Tim from marble hornets. I know marble hornets is a huge part of the fandom, I am to lazy to invest myself into a 9 hour long series, hell I can’t even focus on a 1 hour summary of the show even though I want to learn about it. just trying to draw while the video was playing in the background wasnt working.

As a new fan it’s even worse, since I have to worry about: being a poser, not being a OG fan, not knowing what really niche creepypasta’s are, not knowing super confusing things like there was 2 different Jane’s and like 3 different Ben drown’s (I think?), is marble hornets even related to the Creepypasta fandom area I want to focus on, is the slendermansion cringe, and not being a fan when I was younger.

i promise I’m not trying to be a poser, I just spent my younger years on Gacha life, batim, Fnaf, and animation memes rather than the deep creepypasta fandom, and even then I thought it was super cool. Only now am I just getting deeper into it. if I’m being totally TOTALLY honest, a big reason (not my only reason, but a big one) I want to know so much is because I wanna make a Creepypasta story myself, a Creepypasta Oc, and they All just live in the slendermansion. Its a fun premise, I love to make oc’s and self-inserts, and I don’t want to misrepresent the characters. Please send help AHHHH 😭😭

for some background: for the past almost 3 months l've been dealing with stress-inducted stomach aches, horrible fear of eating, losing weight, not eating, not going out, scared to go out, and got recently anxiety diagnosis. my quince is the 18th of this July, it's going to be a backyard party and both sides of my family will be there. Im already stressed with the fact both sides will be there since my parents are not together, stressed about what if I can't fix myself or control my anxiety by then, and also it will be at my aunts (dads sister) house around 15 minutes from my own house.

i've told 3 of my friends about this party, invited them back when school was still going, and I wasn't super effected by my anxiety. They probably expect a official invite from me, or plan on going to this party because I basically invited them. but over the summer I haven't talked to them much, been dealing with a lot more fear and worry, and Im just not sure if I should let them come anymore. my school and the district all my friends live in is 30 minutes away (so that’s already pretty far for them) and I am not sure how my family will act with my friends (or the other way around). I'm scared they will see how bad ive gotten this summer, but l've already told them about it.

i don't want to seem like a bad friend, I already lost one friend this school year, don't have lots of friends, and feel really bad about not wanting them to come. but I also am dreading on when I have to tell them the details of my party and the thought of them at my party. in all honesty I really don't want to invite them, but again I'm too afraid of seeming like a fake friend and I feel bad. Im scared and dont want them there even with how much I appreciate them. again im so sorry if this sounds dumb, I know I’m overthinking it but I can’t stop thinking about it.

for some background: for the past almost 3 months I’ve been dealing with stress-inducted stomach aches, horrible fear of eating, going out, and got recently anxiety diagnosis. my quince is the 18th of this July, it’s going to be a backyard party and both sides of my family will be there. Im already stressed with the fact both sides will be there since my parents are not together, stressed about what if I can’t fix myself or control my anxiety by then, and also it will be at my aunts (dads sister) house.

i‘ve told 3 of my friends about this party, invited them back when school was still going, and I was a better with my stress. but over the summer I haven’t talked to them much, been dealing with a lot more fear, and Im just not sure if I should let them come anymore. my school and the district all my friends live in is 30 minutes away and I am not sure how my family will act with my friends (or the other way around),. I’m scared they will see how bad ive gotten this summer, but I’ve already told them about it.

i don’t want to seem like a bad friend, I already lost one of my few friends this school year, don’t have lots of friends, and feel really bad about not wanting them to come. but I also am dreading on when I have to tell them the details of my party and the thought of them at my party. in all honesty I don’t want to invite them, but again I’m too afraid of seeming like a fake friend and I feel bad. please help.

LONG rant I’m sorry, keep in mind I’m 14 with stricter parents

I don’t know where to start but basically for the past 4 months I have been dealing with consistent stomach issues and fear of everything. throughout the school year I was doing perfectly fine and was pretty normal. but when my dad started to go to Chicago for concerts and leave me and my sisters at our aunts house (around the same time I had super important assignments due, and since we were at our aunts house we couldn’t go to school, making me behind with assignments) and also my family pressuring me to find a quinceañera dress, I began to experience stomach aches, bloating, gas, lots of stress, and even diarrhea.

i began to skip days of school due to the fear of having stomach issues at school, I would leave school early for having stomach issues at school that would leaves me in the gender neutral bathroom (only private bathroom in my school) until my dad picked me up. I struggled going outside, eating foods I used to love, and even just being in my first class of the day when I did go to school. my dad started to not believe me and would frequently get mad at me for wanting to stay home, even when I was crying that I didn’t want to go. it got to a point where while waiting for the school to open my dad got sick of me asking to go home he just brung me to our doctor where after explains everything, they took my blood, said I had psychosomatic stomach aches, and stress/anxiety was the cause of it.

what made it worse was when my family took a trip to Chicago, 7 hours away from home, junk food as snacks for the trip, my dad rushing us everywhere he wanted to go, going to so many places around the city, random foods we ate all the time, getting mad at me for wanting to go to the bathroom, and so many other issues. And you know what happened after? I got food poisoning. So imagine I’m already stressed, I have stomach issues, and now I have foo poisoning. my body basically just let hell loose and I had Diarrhea that wouldn’t let me be Outside a bathroom for more then 20 minutes, and we had to book a room in a random hotel to stay another night since I wouldn’t last the trip home. My sister also ended up throwing up later that day. my dad wouldnt bring me to a hospital even when I was sobbing, saying thr insurance wouldnt cover it and the hospital didn’t have our records. that trip traumatized me, I hate the thought of it, and hate my dad for how he acted then, so mad for something l cant control and complaining the next day because of the amount of stops at gas stations we had to take while driving home for me, even though he said it would be ok and he didn’t worry about it when we were first leaving.

last 2 weeks of school I was getting more used to being there again and even was excited being at school since I didnt like home so much and getting into arguments with my parents (dad and grandma) because they think Im overreacting and need to control myself. Now that summer break has started, I’m scared to go out too far from home, scared that we will go out, that my dad will decide Randomly he wants to go out, that me dad or grandma make me foods that will make my stomach hurt more, scared of food in general, scared of getting into another fight with my parents now that I’m stuck with them all the time now, I’m losing too much weight From the amount of bathroom breaks I take and the small amounts of food I eat now, my hair is falling out more, I’m going to therapy but when I tell my parents about the advice I’m given they say it’s wrong, I was dignosed with anxiety 3 days ago but it doesn’t mean anything to my parents, all this stress of getting scared is making everything worse, but I can’t stop stressing.

it sucks, I'm still sick as I'm typing this and I'm not going to keep shit to myself. but basically past 3 days my family was in Chicago for vacation, and it was all fine until yes afternoon where after late some of the burger from the Gordon Ramsey burger place, I immediately began having a horrible time on the toilet. so much so that we couldn't go home since I couldn't last 20 minutes off the toilet, and since out home is 7 hours away and it was the day we were supposed to leave so my dad had to book another night's stay at a random hotel.

nothing got better but at least I wasn't in the car anymore, and when I fell asleep my sister threw up in the bathroom since turns out she was also sick, but after she did that she was all better. and when I tried to throw up seeing she immediately got better, nothing even improved. so my tummy just hurts, and I threw up for nothing. ended up waking up throughput the night about 15 more times to go to the bathroom.

anyways this morning I was crying to go to a doctor since my ass fucking hurt and I felt like shit my dad said we couldn't until since we were out of state, it was Memorial Day, and also it was really fucking expensive since we were out of the insurance area (I don't know exactly what he meant, but like the insurance only covers stuff in our state), so we just went to target to get some drinks wit electrolyte's, wipes since my ass so was so irritated it hurt to stand up from the toilet or sit places, and we went on our trip back home. Really crazily I only needed to go to the bathroom like 4 times during those seven hours, but that's only because I didn't want to bother my dad while he was driving and also I fell asleep a lot.

now I'm home, my throat feels weird, tummy feels bloated and like shit, but my butt got better so theres that. Never ended up going to the doctor, since it's not as bad as this morning. I feel so bad for my dad for having to spend his money on another night at the hotel, and my sisters since they wanted to visit china town after the restaurant but I genuinely couldn’t handle being outside anymore, and having to ask my dad to go to the bathroom during the trip back home. Worst part about this is that before this I had been experiencing psychosomatic stomach aches so much that i began to miss school and work, and most days I would complain about how much my stomach hurt and eventually it just devolved into my complaining about it when it wasn’t that bad anymore. it all just turned into a boy cried wolf situation, and now when I have a actual Problem I feel like my dad doesnt believe me, I know he does, but I feel like on the inside he thinks I’m over reacting.

you know those internet quizzes that go along the lines of “what animal are you”? I want one that is so detailed and accurate that it gives me an almost perfect answer on what animal I am, no random stuff, I want to know fully what animal I would be.

I don’t care if that test is super long and takes a lot of time to finish, because I will waste all the time I need too. This also goes for those “what color” or ”what aesthetic“ are you?

I’m sososososo curious, and I don’t want to ask a ai or random people online what I would be by telling them things about myself. This is a thought I’ve had for a very long time, just wanted to say it out loud. I can’t be the only one right?