u/Sad-Cheesecake9852

I care so much what others think, that it physically hurts. I’m so extremely sensitive but I keep it inside to protect my image, as apathetic and uncaring. I come here as a way to cope with judgement from others. I feel like it might make me feel better. I know I shouldn’t care and I understand why I shouldn’t care but I still care. It’s not logical. It’s a feeling and my way of dealing with that painful feeling is to try to understand and explain it. If I can understand it maybe it won’t hurt as much. I’ll try to twist it so I’m the good guy because if I’m the good guy there’s no reason to be upset. I cope by convincing myself of who I want to be. The reason I’m upset is because of my ego. I’ll get mad over something so small, which then reminds me how self important my way of thinking is. I don’t matter and I know I don’t matter but I’m programmed to care. I care what people think and need their approval. But why does it have to be programmed so deep inside. I don’t want to care, I know I shouldn’t care, I try to make meaning of my caring, but in the end whether or not the rest is true, I still care. And it hurts

I can tell immediately when someone feels even slightly upset, annoyed, or disapproving of me and I can’t stop thinking about it. I spend all my time figuring out what changed and why and desperately wanting them to like me again. I can’t handle it. I recently sent a text, and just realized it was worded a little too jokingly, and now I keep my mind off the fact that the reason they’re not replying is probably because they think I’m a dick. Today my little 3 year old sister said “I love you” and I just laughed and said “ok” which was obviously straight up rude. I was there with my mom and after that comment she’s definitely slightly changed how she acts toward me. I can’t tell if it’s deliberate or not, but she’s been much colder towards me, and she’ll make comments that indirectly confirm my assumption that she’s viewing me with more contempt. I feel like she’s probably trying to make me feel less important because she thinks Im starting to feel entitled to the love and attention from the people around me without feeling the need to reciprocate it. I also highly value my mom’s opinion, so if there’s something that I’m doing that she doesn’t like, there must definitely be something wrong it.

I definitely have personal issues that I need to work on but the thing is, is that I’ve become so attached to them and identify so strongly with them that I don’t even want to change them. I feel like if I fix it in silence no one will ever know I had anything wrong and if no one knows I ever had anything wrong no one will know what I went through. I want them to know that my “laziness” or “inaction” through the years has been pathological. I’m aware that my issues don’t necessarily justify my inaction, it’s just that I care less about the consequences of my inaction than what others think about my inaction. It all comes down to what others think because I have such an unstable sense of self worth. I’m constantly having imaginary conversations and replaying old conversations with people that I respect trying to win them over. I value others thoughts so far above my own that even when I am thinking for myself it’s through an imagined conversation with someone else. I feel like my thoughts need a stamp of approval from others even when I’m just thinking critically by myself. I’ll curate a character for them to make judgements on me that can convince me of who I want to be. Simply because I see what they see in me and it becomes what I see in myself.

One thing I know for sure is that I treat pride, self absorption, and any narcissistic traits as sins. In my mind it’s a moral failing to have any of them, so I’m writing this partially to convince myself that I don’t. Not only am I assessing myself for these qualities, but I’m also assessing others. Because Im so insecure, I’ll compare myself to these people, and if they their smart, unpretentious, and humble I’ll feel worse about myself. I don’t participate in the conversation as much as I use others as a reflection. During something like a class lecture where there’s no pressure to respond, I’ll listen to the professor not out of curiosity but as a way to evaluate myself through comparison. Everything that’s happening around me is about me, and I project that subconscious belief onto what I believe others are thinking when interacting with me.
What does this look like?

I know it’s a lot to read 😂😅 but I feel like this entry describes my thinking pretty well

I care so much what others think, that it physically hurts. I’m so extremely sensitive but I keep it inside to protect my image, as apathetic and uncaring. I come here as a way to cope with judgement from others. I feel like it might make me feel better. I know I shouldn’t care and I understand why I shouldn’t care but I still care. It’s not logical. It’s a feeling and my way of dealing with that painful feeling is to try to understand and explain it. If I can understand it maybe it won’t hurt as much. I’ll try to twist it so I’m the good guy because if I’m the good guy there’s no reason to be upset. I cope by convincing myself of who I want to be. The reason I’m upset is because of my ego. I’ll get mad over something so small, which then reminds me how self important my way of thinking is. I don’t matter and I know I don’t matter but I’m programmed to care. I care what people think and need their approval. But why does it have to be programmed so deep inside. I don’t want to care, I know I shouldn’t care, I try to make meaning of my caring, but in the end whether or not the rest is true, I still care. And it hurts

I definitely have personal issues that I need to work on but the thing is, is that I’ve become so attached to them and identify so strongly with them that I don’t even want to change them. I feel like if I fix it in silence no one will ever know I had anything wrong and if no one knows I ever had anything wrong no one will know what I went through. I want them to know that my “laziness” or “inaction” through the years has been pathological. I’m aware that my issues don’t necessarily justify my inaction, it’s just that I care less about the consequences of my inaction than what others think about my inaction. It all comes down to what others think because I have such an unstable sense of self worth. I’m constantly having imaginary conversations and replaying old conversations with people that I respect trying to win them over. I value others thoughts so far above my own that even when I am thinking for myself it’s through an imagined conversation with someone else. I feel like my thoughts need a stamp of approval from others even when I’m just thinking critically by myself. I’ll curate a character for them to make judgements on me that can convince me of who I want to be. Simply because I see what they see in me and it becomes what I see in myself.

One thing I know for sure is that I treat pride, self absorption, and any narcissistic traits as sins. In my mind it’s a moral failing to have any of them, so I’m writing this partially to convince myself that I don’t. Not only am I assessing myself for these qualities, but I’m also assessing others. Because Im so insecure, I’ll compare myself to these people, and if they their smart, unpretentious, and humble I’ll feel worse about myself. I don’t participate in the conversation as much as I use others as a reflection. During something like a class lecture where there’s no pressure to respond, I’ll listen to the professor not out of curiosity but as a way to evaluate myself through comparison. Everything that’s happening around me is about me, and I project that subconscious belief onto what I believe others are thinking when interacting with me.

I know it’s a lot to read 😂😅 but I feel like this entry describes my thinking pretty well

I care so much what others think, that it physically hurts. I’m so extremely sensitive but I keep it inside to protect my image, as apathetic and uncaring. I come here as a way to cope with judgement from others. I feel like it might make me feel better. I know I shouldn’t care and I understand why I shouldn’t care but I still care. It’s not logical. It’s a feeling and my way of dealing with that painful feeling is to try to understand and explain it. If I can understand it maybe it won’t hurt as much. I’ll try to twist it so I’m the good guy because if I’m the good guy there’s no reason to be upset. I cope by convincing myself of who I want to be. The reason I’m upset is because of my ego. I’ll get mad over something so small, which then reminds me how self important my way of thinking is. I don’t matter and I know I don’t matter but I’m programmed to care. I care what people think and need their approval. But why does it have to be programmed so deep inside. I don’t want to care, I know I shouldn’t care, I try to make meaning of my caring, but in the end whether or not the rest is true, I still care. And it hurts

I definitely have personal issues that I need to work on but the thing is, is that I’ve become so attached to them and identify so strongly with them that I don’t even want to change them. I feel like if I fix it in silence no one will ever know I had anything wrong and if no one knows I ever had anything wrong no one will know what I went through. I want them to know that my “laziness” or “inaction” through the years has been pathological. I’m aware that my issues don’t necessarily justify my inaction, it’s just that I care less about the consequences of my inaction than what others think about my inaction. It all comes down to what others think because I have such an unstable sense of self worth. I’m constantly having imaginary conversations and replaying old conversations with people that I respect trying to win them over. I value others thoughts so far above my own that even when I am thinking for myself it’s through an imagined conversation with someone else. I feel like my thoughts need a stamp of approval from others even when I’m just thinking critically by myself. I’ll curate a character for them to make judgements on me that can convince me of who I want to be. Simply because I see what they see in me and it becomes what I see in myself.

One thing I know for sure is that I treat pride, self absorption, and any narcissistic traits as sins. In my mind it’s a moral failing to have any of them, so I’m writing this partially to convince myself that I don’t. Not only am I assessing myself for these qualities, but I’m also assessing others. Because Im so insecure, I’ll compare myself to these people, and if they their smart, unpretentious, and humble I’ll feel worse about myself. I don’t participate in the conversation as much as I use others as a reflection. During something like a class lecture where there’s no pressure to respond, I’ll listen to the professor not out of curiosity but as a way to evaluate myself through comparison. Everything that’s happening around me is about me, and I project that subconscious belief onto what I believe others are thinking when interacting with me.

I know it’s a lot to read 😂😅 but I feel like this entry describes my thinking pretty well.

I care so much what others think, that it physically hurts. I’m so extremely sensitive but I keep it inside to protect my image, as apathetic and uncaring. I come here as a way to cope with judgement from others. I feel like it might make me feel better. I know I shouldn’t care and I understand why I shouldn’t care but I still care. It’s not logical. It’s a feeling and my way of dealing with that painful feeling is to try to understand and explain it. If I can understand it maybe it won’t hurt as much. I’ll try to twist it so I’m the good guy because if I’m the good guy there’s no reason to be upset. I cope by convincing myself of who I want to be. The reason I’m upset is because of my ego. I’ll get mad over something so small, which then reminds me how self important my way of thinking is. I don’t matter and I know I don’t matter but I’m programmed to care. I care what people think and need their approval. But why does it have to be programmed so deep inside. I don’t want to care, I know I shouldn’t care, I try to make meaning of my caring, but in the end whether or not the rest is true, I still care. And it hurts

I definitely have personal issues that I need to work on but the thing is, is that I’ve become so attached to them and identify so strongly with them that I don’t even want to change them. I feel like if I fix it in silence no one will ever know I had anything wrong and if no one knows I ever had anything wrong no one will know what I went through. I want them to know that my “laziness” or “inaction” through the years has been pathological. I’m aware that my issues don’t necessarily justify my inaction, it’s just that I care less about the consequences of my inaction than what others think about my inaction. It all comes down to what others think because I have such an unstable sense of self worth. I’m constantly having imaginary conversations and replaying old conversations with people that I respect trying to win them over. I value others thoughts so far above my own that even when I am thinking for myself it’s through an imagined conversation with someone else. I feel like my thoughts need a stamp of approval from others even when I’m just thinking critically by myself. I’ll curate a character for them to make judgements on me that can convince me of who I want to be. Simply because I see what they see in me and it becomes what I see in myself.

One thing I know for sure is that I treat pride, self absorption, and any narcissistic traits as sins. In my mind it’s a moral failing to have any of them, so I’m writing this partially to convince myself that I don’t. Not only am I assessing myself for these qualities, but I’m also assessing others. Because Im so insecure, I’ll compare myself to these people, and if they their smart, unpretentious, and humble I’ll feel worse about myself. I don’t participate in the conversation as much as I use others as a reflection. During something like a class lecture where there’s no pressure to respond, I’ll listen to the professor not out of curiosity but as a way to evaluate myself through comparison. Everything that’s happening around me is about me, and I project that subconscious belief onto what I believe others are thinking when interacting with me.

I know it’s a lot to read 😅 but I feel like this entry describes my thinking pretty well.

I care so much what others think, that it physically hurts. I’m so extremely sensitive but I keep it inside to protect my image, as apathetic and uncaring. I come here as a way to cope with judgement from others. I feel like it might make me feel better. I know I shouldn’t care and I understand why I shouldn’t care but I still care. It’s not logical. It’s a feeling and my way of dealing with that painful feeling is to try to understand and explain it. If I can understand it maybe it won’t hurt as much. I’ll try to twist it so I’m the good guy because if I’m the good guy there’s no reason to be upset. I cope by convincing myself of who I want to be. The reason I’m upset is because of my ego. I’ll get mad over something so small, which then reminds me how self important my way of thinking is. I don’t matter and I know I don’t matter but I’m programmed to care. I care what people think and need their approval. But why does it have to be programmed so deep inside. I don’t want to care, I know I shouldn’t care, I try to make meaning of my caring, but in the end whether or not the rest is true, I still care. And it hurts

I definitely have personal issues that I need to work on but the thing is, is that I’ve become so attached to them and identify so strongly with them that I don’t even want to change them. I feel like if I fix it in silence no one will ever know I had anything wrong and if no one knows I ever had anything wrong no one will know what I went through. I want them to know that my “laziness” or “inaction” through the years has been pathological. I’m aware that my issues don’t necessarily justify my inaction, it’s just that I care less about the consequences of my inaction than what others think about my inaction. It all comes down to what others think because I have such an unstable sense of self worth. I’m constantly having imaginary conversations and replaying old conversations with people that I respect trying to win them over. I value others thoughts so far above my own that even when I am thinking for myself it’s through an imagined conversation with someone else. I feel like my thoughts need a stamp of approval from others even when I’m just thinking critically by myself.

I also want their sympathy but with that comes risk of being judged and my fear of judgement is stronger than my desire for sympathy so I’m stuck writing this. I fear what people might think but I care enough to want to change how they think. So my way of dealing with this is to try to understand myself well enough to prove it to others. I’ll curate a character for them to make judgements on me that can convince me of who I want to be. Simply because I see what they see in me and it becomes what I see in myself.

One thing I know for sure is that I treat pride, self absorption, and any narcissistic traits as sins. In my mind it’s a moral failing to have any of them, so subconsciously I’m writing this partially to convince myself that I don’t. Not only am I assessing myself for these qualities, but I’m also assessing others. As the insecure man you know I am, I’ll compare myself to these people, and if they their smart, unpretentious, and humble I’ll feel worse about myself. I don’t participate in the conversation as much as I use others as a reflection. During something like a class lecture where there’s no pressure to respond, I’ll listen to the professor not out of curiosity but as a way to evaluate myself through comparison. Everything that’s happening around me is about me, and I project that subconscious belief onto what I believe others are thinking when interacting with me.

I’ve taken the TRI-52 and JCFS and it’s not like any of the questions are that crazy difficult except for myb the last one on the tri-52. I was able to score a 145 on both tests while my CORE fluid reasoning scores are around 115 to 125. I feel like if you at least have a solidly above average IQ it’s more of a matter of how long you want to spend applying trial and error on each question because I don’t think any of them are completely out of reach. Obviously, I want to believe that my true IQ is at 145 but I genuinely know it can’t be that high based on my lived experience. I’m extremely neurotic and obsessive and spent around 6 hours on both tests which I think is probably what got me to such a high score.

It seems like everyone posting here has an iq of at least 120 which would put them in the 90th percentile. Of course, this could be because people who score lower don’t have the desire to post their scores and the people who score high do. Could be because of practice with so many different tests, simply just lying, or that people interested in these tests on average have a higher iq. I’d just expect to see at least some people in the average range, because statistically it’s obviously way more common. I swear it seems like the average is around 130 here. It’s also just making me doubt my own scores on these tests lol.

I’m pretty much just including nonverbal fluid reasoning tests because I have pretty severe developmental language disorder that drags down my overall score significantly. I know it sounds like cope for having an uneven cognitive profile and wanting to exclude my lower subtest scores but it’s def real. Before taking these tests I genuinely thought I was intellectually disabled because my ability to process and use language is far below average.

Also, these tests even that accurate because I swear everyone that posts has an iq of at least 130. Definitely makes me question the validity of online iq tests or iq tests in general. Also, I’m aware I’ve taken way too many of these tests 😂 but I feel like I need definitive proof that I’m intelligent because I doubted it for so long.

3 yrs ago - Mensa Norway: 131 (along with the rest of the Mensa tests but I don’t remember my scores for them)

2 yrs ago - RPM: 60/60 (I think I took the RPM before this but I honestly don’t remember my score) 135+

2 yrs ago - RAPM: 30/36. 130

2 yrs ago - Cait pri: 120

2 yrs ago - Cait vsi: 125

8 month ago - Core pri: 120

8 month ago - Core vsi: 120

6 month ago - RIOT fr: raw score 70 (matrix reasoning dragged my score down) 130

5 month ago - Tri-52: raw score 871. 145

3 month ago - Spatial aptitude examination: 130

2 month ago - Larnt K: 19/42. 131

1 month ago - D-48: 37/44 134

2 weeks ago -Ravens 2 long form: 42/48. 134

Yesterday - D-70: 33/44. 118

Today -RAPM (again but untimed) 36/36. 136
Felt much easier than I remember and finished in 50min. Must be some major practice effect there 🤔

I’m only including the fluid and spatial index’s from the full battery tests because I have a language disorder that’s pulling down my overall scores by a lot

3 yrs ago - Mensa Norway: 131 (along with the rest of the Mensa tests but I don’t remember my scores for them)

2 yrs ago - RPM: 60/60. 135+

2 yrs ago - RAPM: 30/36. 130

2 yrs ago - Cait pri: 120

2 yrs ago - Cait vsi: 125

8 month ago - Core pri: 120

8 month ago - Core vsi: 120

6 month ago - RIOT fr: raw score 70 (matrix reasoning surprisingly dragged my score down) 130

5 month ago - Tri-52: raw score 871. 145

3 month ago - Spatial aptitude examination: 130

2 month ago - Larnt K: 19/42. 131

1 month ago - D-48: 37/44 134

2 weeks ago -Ravens 2 long form: 42/48. 134

Yesterday - D-70: 33/44. 118

Today -RAPM (again but untimed) 36/36. 136
Felt much easier than I remember and finished in 50min. 🤔

I’m constantly having imaginary conversations and replaying old conversations with people that I respect, trying to win them over. I trust others thoughts so far above my own that even when I am thinking for myself it’s through an imagined conversation with someone else. I feel like my thoughts need a stamp of approval from others even when I’m just thinking critically by myself.

Maybe if I can understand my thinking well enough, I can understand enough to prove it to others, giving me the confidence to think for myself. I’ll curate a character for them to make judgements on me that can convince me of who I want to be. In the end though I need to stop depending on confirmation from outside sources to define my worth, and trust, judge, and think for myself, so I can stop relying on a mind that isn’t my own.

The problem is I’ve spent so much time performing for myself and others—being the person they want me to be—that I’ve lost myself. I couldn’t even think for myself if I wanted to because I’ve lost all trust in my own judgement.

I’m obsessed at looking at the worst parts of myself because I’m anxiously obsessed about them. I compulsively check to make sure that I’m a moral, intelligent, and good looking person because those are highly valuable traits. I do this by journaling endlessly, not to understand myself better but to reassure myself of those doubts. I’ll explain my thinking as thoroughly and honestly as possible and then paste it into chat gpt hoping that it will give me an accurate assessment and explanation on whatever it is I’m obsessed with at the time. I’ll spend over six hours every day (all my free time) analyzing and pasting my writing into AI so I can relieve any doubt, but it never can. I need it to prove my self-worth, but it can’t because I can never fully trust it. It’s an endless cycle. Again and again and again and again. Every time after pasting it into Chat, I feel like the question I ask will give the answer, but it always leads to another question. Then another, and another, and another. I paste it, getting a hit of dopamine, making the OCD even stronger, and it seems almost pleasurable, but it’s shrinking my world into a compulsion for certainty. Its embarrassing. It will latch onto what I value most—health, looks, or intelligence—and cycles through them, every time going nowhere, causing analysis paralysis. My life is so centered around it that I barely know who I am outside of it. Since it’s all happening in my head it’s harder to be certain that it’s actually even an issue and not just deep insecurity. Also, I feel like I can only move forward if I can articulate and explain everything perfectly. I’m pretty much hard stuck in life because I can’t focus on anything else. I don’t think my ocd justifies being stuck but I still am.

I’m obsessed at looking at the worst parts of myself because I’m anxiously obsessed about them. I compulsively check to make sure that I’m a moral, intelligent, and good looking person because those are highly valuable traits. I do this by journaling endlessly, not to understand myself better but to reassure myself of those doubts. I’ll explain my thinking as thoroughly and honestly as possible and then paste it into chat gpt hoping that it will give me an accurate assessment and explanation on whatever it is I’m obsessed with at the time. I’ll spend over six hours every day (all my free time) analyzing and pasting my writing into AI so I can relieve any doubt, but it never can. I need it to prove my self-worth, but it can’t because I can never fully trust it. It’s an endless cycle. Again and again and again and again. Every time after pasting it into Chat, I feel like the question I ask will give the answer, but it always leads to another question. Then another, and another, and another. I paste it, getting a hit of dopamine, making the OCD even stronger, and it seems almost pleasurable, but it’s shrinking my world into a compulsion for certainty. Its embarrassing. It will latch onto what I value most—health, looks, or intelligence—and cycles through them, every time going nowhere, causing analysis paralysis. My life is so centered around it that I barely know who I am outside of it. Since it’s all happening in my head it’s harder to be certain that it’s actually even an issue and not just deep insecurity. Also, I feel like I can only move forward if I can articulate and explain everything perfectly. I’m pretty much hard stuck in life because I can’t focus on anything else. I don’t think my ocd justifies being stuck but I still am.

I’m honestly probably not the brightest person, and I don’t say that with false modesty. I have a limited ability to handle complexity which makes it more difficult to figure out whatever is I want to figure out. My memory is also not the best but it’s also impossible to really know because it’s so complex. I can do decent on digit span but that test doesn’t invalidate all the experiencing I’ve had that prove my shitty memory.

I’ll not understand something and then analyze y I can’t understand it. Memory? Encoding? Comprehension? Reasoning? I’ll try to pin it down so I can convince myself that I’m not dumb but just lacking in certain areas. If you asked me to summarize what I wrote here, I’d bumble over my words, and tell you very vaguely because I can’t remember most of it. At least, I don’t remember enough to explain my points in any detail. How could I have anything intelligent to say if I don’t have anything to work worth.

I so badly want to be intelligent because everyone values it so highly. I don’t even care about using the intelligence I do have as much as identifying with the label. I just want to definitively prove it to myself because I feel like it will determine my worth. How can I figure it out for certain so I can stop thinking about this? Every iq test I take probably has an ungodly amount of practice effect and ironically, I don’t even remember my initial scores.

I value honesty with myself very highly, and I project that expectation onto other people. I notice that they don’t self reflect the way I do, and since it’s a quality I’m proud of, I feel like others should be able to do it too. I end up unfairly judging them for it and tearing them down in my mind so I can feel like the morally superior person.

It’s also a way to cope with the negative judgment they’ve given me. I want to convince myself that their judgment comes from a flaw in their way of thinking, not from something wrong with me. But even if their thinking is a bit dogmatic, so is everyone’s.

I’m in the habit of avoiding discomfort, and because I have too much pride to admit that to myself, I over intellectualize the problem to convince myself the issue is deeper and more complicated than it really is. I’ve been avoiding interacting with the world because it brings more judgment and more reasons to feel shitty about myself. I impress and deceive myself with my self righteous thinking, keeping me stuck in that way of thinking. In the moment I feel better hiding, trying to make sense of the world without ever living in it, but that’s a recipe for long term dissatisfaction.

This writing is just a deceptively good coping strategy. I spend my time examining myself to find uncomfortable truths, which I then use to admire myself for the self awareness and humility it took to do so. My ego is doing a great job hiding behind the performance of humility. I’ll never change if I keep lying to myself and then convincing myself of those lies. There’s a big difference between writing about the person I want to be, and actually being it. How do I get out of this mindset and actually change?

I let my feelings control my thoughts which then control my life. I intellectualize my pain as a way to cope with it. I’ll dismantle my ego as a way to build it up. I over emphasize my thoughts to avoid the real world. I try to figure myself out perfectly because I feel if I do, it’ll give me peace. If I always need certainty before I act, I’ll never do anything. I need to let a thought be unresolved.

I can deceive myself, thinking I’m self aware by writing this, but true self awareness would mean stepping outside my head, and accepting the risk that comes with living. Accepting that I don’t have it fully figured out, but I’m going to try anyway. Accepting that I’m going to fail and question myself along the way. In the end, there’s a big difference between writing about the person I want to convince myself I am, and actually being that person.

It’s crazy you can know exactly what’s wrong and still do the wrong thing. You look around and see all these smart people, making dumb decisions and realize the effect that your environment, your age, and your temperament have over who you are. We feel in control and to extent we are, but we overestimate how in control we are. We make a single decision, feeling free, but it’s filtered through a lifetime of previous decisions that created who we are, and the person making the decision in the moment.

I don’t feel like self absorption usually comes from arrogance, but more often it comes from insecurity. We are taught how to act, how to feel, and how to be, so as to be seen as a valuable member of society. We aren’t taught why, but more often what it looks like to be a “good” person. In my case, I’ve crafted an image for others to convince them of my virtuousness, which I then use to convince myself. Then I’ll became proud of that fake and hollow person I’ve created, because people are responding well to it.

I think people are self absorbed predominantly, because they spend so much time managing and controlling the way they see themselves, because that’s what they feel forced to do. I feel like the conditions today with social media, and the constant comparison, are making everyone more and more self focused. We’re not allowed to be who we are. There’s something wrong with everything, and we all have to fit the mold that is propagated by others on social media. We’re all managing our self image to some degree, but the people that are able to accept themselves and accept the judgement that comes with that, are the ones more capable of living freely, being true to themselves, and being truly humble.