I just got another 4 secondary applications and I already had 8 before then. I didn’t start writing any of them because I’m too scared I’m gonna screw up and ruin my app 😭 and I also had medical problems that landed me in the ER yesterday. please send help man I need someone to give me a wake up call
I gained some weight recently because of medication changes, so now I’m 150 lbs at 5’3 which is overweight. However, even before when I was in the normal range, my boobs were always bigger than anything else. I’d have to get a size larger just so it would fit, but even then it was hard to squeeze the shirt on past the boobs and even harder to take them off.
My friends always notice my big boobs and point them out in a lighthearted way, they’re like my sisters so I know it’s not out of malice but it makes me so insecure. I want a reduction surgery because I hate how they look and honestly I think they’re the cause for my bad lower back pain, but my mom and boyfriend don’t want me to get it reduced out of aesthetic purposes (my bf is fine if it’s for health reasons obviously).
Don’t even get me started on the bras. I went to VS and got a reading for 36C. I’m pretty sure I’m past DDs at the bare minimum. I have extreme sensitivity to clothes so the only bras that work for me are sports bras with no underwire or the bra you can zipper from the front. It would help if I’d know my size but of course, I don’t, and I’m not sure if the bra I like is made in my size. If I wear hooks or wiring I begin to claw at myself and cry from the sensory issues, so I swing way left field for that.
All in all, big boobs suck especially when you’re not built for them. They make me look like I have no ass in comparison, they cause pain, they look ugly to me, bra fitting sucks and I hate how they look in clothes. I have no idea how to fix this hatred of mine, this is one of my main body insecurities.
I went to Victoria’s Secret a couple days ago and they measured me to around a 36C, and none of the bras I tried on fit ; they were too small. I have major sensory issues and can only wear wireless strap sports bras or I begin to cry from the sensory problems. Because of this, I never got an accurate cup size and have been wearing the same sports bras for years even though they barely fit anymore. What place do I get a good measuring for my bras? Or, how can I measure them at home? I hate having big sagging breasts, i suggested breast surgery reduction multiple times to my mom and my boyfriend but they don’t want me to reduce them. Of course my boyfriend said if I had physical problems like back pain (which I have bad lower back pain), he would be happy if I got a reduction but from a physical standpoint alone he loves them. Anyways, I really want to look good in my clothes and get an accurate reading.
It’s also worth mentioning I gained weight from medication, an IUD and not good eating habits/sedentary lifestyle. This makes my boobs bigger than they were like 3 months ago, and clothes don’t fit properly on me anymore, I can’t take them off on my own because of my large chest. It’s frustrating.
I applied end of June and have yet to be verified for MD, but for DO I got several IIs. However, life got in the way with a family member passing and my grandma in the hospital, so I never had time to start any of them until now. I also am going on vacation Aug 20-30, so I won’t have as much time to write, although I’ll make as much time as possible. Would it be too late to submit? I’m really worried, I need to get in this cycle.
So I was kicked out of my PHP/IOP program a couple months ago because I simply couldn’t take it anymore. My assigned therapist was honestly horrible and I felt like shit everytime I talked to her. Shes the type to be blunt without any emotional support, and as someone with BPD I translate that into me being a piece of shit. Anyways, I can repeat word for word what she told me during our individual sessions because it’s always the same and pins the blame on me. “You’re being willful” “you’re not trying” “I don’t like to waste my time” “you need to use the skills to get better stop relying on your mom” and the list goes on.
During one grief group I was crying about my grandfather who passed and I left the room to talk to my mom. When I came back she said I should’ve used my skills and not called my mom, I’ve been there 7-8 weeks so I know the skills and she humiliated me in front of a group of around 10 people.
Another time there was a group and I was offering supportive comments to 2 group members, saying how they’re so strong for being in group and how they’re struggling so much yet so strong. She told me to not respond to comments anymore.
I swear every time i was in a group with her she would pick on me. She’d joke around telling me to not be negative, and any comment I made in group about how I’m struggling she would bring it up in individual sessions and say I’m not improving. It infuriated me, and along with other instances during group from other therapists, I acted out one day and got kicked out.
I’m overall very frustrated with the care I received there. It’s supposed to be a place of healing where I learn the skills to cope with life, but instead I felt berated to the point I didn’t even want to use my skills anymore, I was so tired. And yet, like always, it’s my fault.
I’m a 22F from Jersey with a 3.95/3.93 gpa and a 504 MCAT 😭. Everything else in my app is fine, I have over 2k clinical hours, 500 leadership, 840 nonclinical paid, 300 nonclinical volunteering, at least 3 stellar letters of recommendation.
My MCAT is shooting me in the foot, I suck at standardized testing because I cannot study long term and I really need to work on my academic endurance. I also have untreated ADHD which I’m trying to work on.
Also, just a question but which low tier MD schools would be acceptable to apply to?
I have BPD and have honestly been going through a really rough time lately. Are there any success stories regarding your career and personal life?
I posted on a therapy sub, not gonna list the name. So I deleted the post but I previously posted about how I was kicked out of IOP. I did some things before that I never knew was wrong until my therapist told me, and I was insanely disrespected by the people there as per my outside therapist and psychiatric NP. I posted about it to the subreddit, hoping I get external validation from a 3rd party because clinicians can sometimes be biased, and I have BPD so I have extreme rejection sensitivity. I admitted my final action was wrong since I acted out, but for people to please validate all the reasons that happened until that point. What I was met with was people just telling me I deserved to be kicked out, they didn’t do anything wrong, and I shouldn’t have acted out. Like excuse me, I said I knew I was in the wrong but I wanted someone to validate my 3 paragraphs of reasoning.
I posted again labeling the post as venting, so I wasn’t expecting any comments since I was venting my frustrations. I admit I was a little callous with my language, which I regret, but I did it while splitting so my mind wasn’t in the right headspace. I was just met with constant replies of what am I seeking here, I shouldn’t be cussing anyone out, I need to go offline etc. Like please, I was venting to tell people how invalidating they are over there and I’m met with MORE criticism. It makes me feel like a monster over this whole thing and I’m just so upset.
Basically I felt quite disrespected by the staff and was very passive aggressive one day, which led to my discharge in addition to me being willful, not improving, and missing parts of sessions (I literally stepped out just to ground myself). I also had a habit of saying random facts before and after the group started.
I felt disrespected for the following events: my assigned therapist literally called me willful, not using my skills, and she doesn’t like her time wasted every time I see her. I swear she just puts me down even though I told her I’m trying the skills, I list them out for her and just say it’s barely working because I get so overwhelmed. Her response was I’m just not using them, which pissed me off cuz she literally does not offer empathy and just shuts me down.
Second, I was grieving my grandfather during a group. I went outside to talk to my mom because I got ice and it wasn’t working. When I came back, the same therapist called me out in front of everyone and said I shouldn’t call my mom and should be using my skills since I’m 7 weeks in therapy at the PHP level, saying this and pointing me out while I was actively sobbing over my grandfather. That really hurt.
Third, during the therapist morning sessions, they talked about how I say random facts and need to stop. I agree with them, but I hate when people don’t tell me to my face because I suck at social cues and they were responding to me openly, so I thought it was fine. I have a huge trigger with people talking behind my back and it really upset me.
Fourth, I was making supportive comments to two individuals in another group. My therapist stopped me and told me not to respond to comments. That really pissed me off cuz it made me feel like they just want me to shut up over everything.
All of this in a week compounding with the fact I was full time 7 weeks and hated my therapist made me blow up on Monday. I never attacked the therapist but made some passive aggressive comments about how everyone is a liar a cheat and a backstabber, and we were filling out a worksheet and I just wrote fuck you a million times and slapped my face in rage. After that day, the therapist called my mom and said I was discharged for throwing a fit and for missing parts of group, not improving and being willful, which fuck her because I was actively trying and doing my homework most of the time unless I forgot.
Honestly I’m kinda glad I got kicked out because I was getting so tired of being there, and considering I didn’t trust my providers anymore it wouldn’t have benefited me anyway. Regarding the insurance it only covered like 20 days of treatment, the rest was self pay so it’s not like we got much covered anyway, although it is a LOT of money for wasted time which I’m pretty upset about.
I don’t even know if it was valid for me to get this upset over stuff, I just split on all of them and couldn’t take it anymore. I swear I want to get better, I just don’t think their treatment style was right for me and individual therapy was better. I had to join because my inpatient place told me I needed to pick an outpatient place, so I did.
Anyways, any support or advice is appreciated. I’m pissed I got kicked off when I just couldn’t tolerate the disrespect anymore, and I know I should’ve just kept my head down and ignored, but it is what it is now.
I got a 504 MCAT so I’m mainly applying to DO schools. I have a 3.95 gpa and I’m an nj resident. Are these schools good? What can I add or remove? I want at least 20 schools.
Burrell college
Campbell university
Chicago college
Des moines
Edward via college
Michigan state
Montana college
NYITCOM
Nova southeastern
Ohio heritage college
PCOM Georgia
PCOM South Georgia
Pacific Northwest health sciences college
Rowan Virtua
Tuoro college
Tuoro California
Tuoro Nevada
University of New England
West Virginia school of osteopathic medicine
William Carey college
Xavier university
For context, I’m a little bit weird and when I become comfortable with people, I start spewing fun facts or random things. I was doing that in group sessions - not in the middle of groups but in the beginning or end, and several of the therapists responded to me so I thought it was fine. Turns out they all talked shit behind my back during their morning meetings and my individual therapist told me to stop, and I’m like wtf cuz if someone told me in the beginning I would have no issue. Also, talking behind my back is a big trigger of mine so I’m super pissed off.
Then on a separate instance, my individual therapist was leading a group. I gave support to two fellow peers. I then had an unrelated question, and she told me not to respond to comments anymore.
Basically I feel they just don’t want me to talk anymore and I fucking hate all of them. During the next few groups I’m just gonna sit in silence, not do my homework and passively aggressively tell them off if they do try to get me talk because I’m not dealing with this bullshit. I hate feeling silenced and weird, and if they don’t want me to talk I’ll make sure I don’t to rub it in their face.
I’m 22F ORM and a Jersey resident. I think the rest of my stats are fine but I just got a 504 on my MCAT and I’m devastated, I don’t know what to do. I’m 2 gap years in and I really don’t wanna take a third; Im fine applying DO.
My stats:
3.95 cgpa, 3.93 sgpa
Over 2k clinical hours as a PCT and electro diagnostic tech in a PMR practice
500 leadership hours as an LA (works with TA)
200 leadership hours in a choir club
300 nonclinical volunteering at a food pantry
200 research hours
5 LoR, 3 strong from Econ prof, PMR doctor and nonclinical volunteering head chef
Should I even bother applying DO this cycle? My MCAT score really bummed me out and I feel like shit, I don’t know if I can get in with this score and it’s stressing me out. I don’t know if I should wait another year and reapply with another MCAT score or risk it with this one.
It’s coming out in 2 days and I’m worried shitless. This score determines if I can even apply this cycle or I have to wait another year, and tbh Idt I did good on the exam. What are your thoughts?
I’ve never heard of this before but I was led here from another subreddit. I’m not sure if what I have qualifies for SDAM, but here it is.
I cannot retain any form of episodic memories anymore. Semantic memories are fine such as remembering facts from a test or details about a person, but I cannot remember events. I can remember something happened with a little reminder, such as if I went on vacations, but I have no recollection of what I actually did, even if it was a positive experience. I have this for my entire lifespan of memories from childhood until even today, and I’m worried I lost the ability to retain memories forever. My friends and family constantly joke about not asking me anything because they know I can’t retain memories. I can’t even remember events by writing them down or looking at photos. I was told it was a trauma response to prevent me from feeling anything due to my past since I had memory before but lost it during upper elementary or so (I think?) I also don’t have aphantasia. Is there any cure to this, and what is your experience?
I can remember any fact or detail you throw at me, but for some reason my episodic memory is damaged. I cannot remember ANY event, mostly good, and some of my bad memories are impaired as well but I know what happened. Even my friends and family joke about me not remembering anything and they shouldn’t ask me for details on events because I just don’t remember. I don’t know when this started or why it’s happening, I assume because of over a decade of mental health issues and abuse, but it’s so infuriating. I WANT to remember the good things, I WANT to connect with friends and family over stuff we did, but I CANT. I don’t know how to change my brain and it’s infuriating.
I know I have a bunch of other psychotic meds to try but right now I’m on caplyta and previously I was on abilify and both of them didn’t work. I had a psychotic episode a couple months ago while on abilify, and currently on caplyta I still face shadow people, hearing voices and thumping, and bugs crawling. I have BPD and I’ve heard it’s common to get those features. For those unmedicated or on the wrong medication, how do you cope? I really don’t want another psychotic episode, they suck lol
To my knowledge I only recall two psychotic episodes in my life, actually besides a recurring theme of my guardian angel (the post is in my history). The first one was a few years ago in highschool for 3 months where I believed a man was going to come to my house and kill my family and rape me and then kill me.
The second one was that my car got wrecked by a tree and I thought the cameras were gonna show the insurance companies I did something bad and my parents were gonna find out and the police and FBI would be at my door and were listening to me on the phone and watching me with my phone camera. This was a couple months ago.
I also have BPD and experience bugs on my skin, shadow people, random thumping, and voices outside my house when I’m really stressed. Should I bring this up or will they not treat it because it was a while ago?
I have such a hard time radically accepting my past, I just can’t do it. I have so much hatred and anger from it and it translates into my life today and is ruining my relationships and life. I almost don’t want to let it go because I’m scared it will take the anger and power from me, but I also don’t want it consuming my life. For those who got over your past, any suggestions?
I’m tired of this pain, this suffering. Everyday is a hell and I wish the world burns to the ground, I hate every human in existence. We are collapsing ourselves as a society and we cannot do anything about it. I cannot run away from my past and I cannot sit through and deal with it, remnants of it always haunt me to this day. I don’t even know if my past is real or not, I keep questioning what’s fact and reality, all I know is I’ve been in so much pain for over a decade with no end in sight. I’m tired and lonely and in pain, and no one sees me. I’m alone forever. I can’t be here anymore.
I have a lot of mental disorders and I’m wondering if I have this too. I know I need to get a professional diagnosis but I wanted to see if Reddit had any input. I get extremely anxious of asking my dad anything or whenever he gets mad because I remember my childhood and the things he did and I freeze and panic because I’m scared it will happen again. I have severe trust issues leading to me hurting relationships because I split on them (I have BPD and other disorders). I literally feel I cannot get anything done because of the impending doom and if I get anything wrong I will be severely punished. It sucks living this way and I don’t know how to process it. What are the symptoms of cptsd and how does it affect your life?