u/Schattenspringer

This is a repost. The original was posted in /r/AOneBag by user Fox_Burrito. I'm not the original poster.

Status: Concluded

Editor's Note: OOP is a man

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># Original October 15, 2025

Hello everybody, first up i'm sorry if this is the wrong subreddit to be asking. I'm a 17 year old planning on leaving my abusive home soon and will only be able to take my Cycling Single 25L Pannier Rack Backpack and a small purse for the trip. My current list of stuff to take consists of:

• My PC's SSD
• Passport
• iPad
• 2 phones
• my school report cards
• 1 hoodie
• earbuds
• 1 t-shirt
• 1 pair of socks
• preferably my football card collection but I'm almost certainly not fitting those
• a handful of USB flash drives

If you guys could tell me whether this is likely to fit or not (I can't check myself because I can't be caught packing my bag with all of this stuff, my mom would notice and punish me regardless of reason.) I would also appreciate any other stuff you guys think i should pack. I won't be needing any special clothes due to climate thankfully and food/water won't be an issue either. Thank you in advance.

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># Noteable comments:

I echo having your social and birth certificate. Take a pic of them and your passport, that you save in your email or on the cloud. Stick them in a large ziplock bag to protect them from water and any spills in your bag. Best of luck! a_mulher

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Don't forget any chargers you need.

If you happen to have access to a locker anywhere, it might be worth stashing some bits in advance (just to give you less to think about when packing).

Sounds like you should have plenty of space, you might want socks, underwear and t-shirts to hand to shove extras in any gaps, and consider tying a spare pair of shoes on to the outside.

Good luck, well done on getting your plan together, and I hope you get to one bag for happier reasons soon. Sha76b

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Not packing related but situation related. Please, as soon as you turn 18, lock your credit. Call all three bureaus and tell them you need to lock your credit.

If you have a bank account, time to get a new one where your parents don’t bank.

Apply for assistance as soon as you can - food stamps, Medicaid, etc.

When it comes time to file your taxes, do it quickly so no one can claim you as a dependent.

Connect with a domestic violence shelter NOW - they will help you plan your exit route and have tips on how to leave safely as well as any shelter that you’re eligible for (even if you don’t think you’ll need it now). AnotherBogCryptid

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if you take medication please don’t forget those! if you’re inclined to getting headaches and need paracetamol / tylenol etc grab a thin pack too rabbit__doll

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Is it possible to start removing more pieces of clothing leading up to leaving? Like hiding an extra shirt at school or other items in a ziplock bag hidden outside?

Rolling clothes should save you more space and as another commenter said, socks and underwear can fill gaps. Maybe bring a hand/dish towel?

When you’re leaving, could you layer up a bit so your bag doesn’t look so full? Tie the hoodie to the outside of the bag or wear it to save space.

Good luck and be safe <3

doctordonnasupertemp

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If possible, also take your immunization records and if you have graduated from high school, you need your diploma. MGandPG

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Do you get periods? A reusable diva cup is recommended. If you have longer hair, a brush or comb, and a hair tie. If you have allergies or get headaches or anything, a small bag of OTC medicine to help relieve those can be helpful. A reusable water bottle. You can hang it from your backpack or put it in a pocket. If you don’t have one, you can reuse a disposable one a few times. A small amount of thread and a needle since you’ll have minimal clothing, you’ll want to mend any tears or loose seams. A few bandages of different sizes. A little baggy of powder laundry detergent and or a small bottle of dish soap. Celiack

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1. All forms of ID that you have. Scan them ahead because it's way easier to get replacements if you can print off a copy.

2. I'd bring multiple pairs of socks if you can fit them.

3. You can probably request your report cards later from the school if you want to save on the space.

What are you escaping to? Do you have somewhere to stay or will you be homeless? If you're at risk of sleeping out then definitely pack a lot more warm clothes, non-cotton (when cotton gets wet it sucks the heat out of you vs other materials still keep you somewhat warm when wet), layers, waterproof shells like rain coat and rain pants, solid boots, more socks, lighters.

Also for packing one trick is to use a drawer, like gather everything on one side of a drawer if you think they would be unlikely to look through. Then it's all in one place and you can pack it quickly when it's time CoraCricket

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Buy the equivalent of pantyliners. That’s something I’m learning now.

This keeps underwear from smelling as quickly and pantyliners can be disposed quickly. Definitely as many pairs of underwear as you can take. surelyslim

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Oh my god i didn't even think about hygiene, thank you for the reminder. Aside from that the ssd is half the size of a credit card so i think it'll fit in my purse anyways. Thank you for the help! [OOP]

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># Update October 6, 2026, about 1 year later

Hi guys, some of you might remember me from many months ago when I asked for advice in this sub for fleeing my family and country of turkey. I successfully fled with plenty of clothes, all my documents, and everything else that was important that I could fit on me! Overall it all went well except for the fact that I'm unemployed and in emergency housing now, but I'm sure I'll find a job soon enough. I'm now back in my home country of Switzerland and I just wanted to come back here and thank you all for your advice and kind words and to show you that I made it.

Thanks a lot. Feel free to ask questions if youre curious!

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Happy you made the journey to freedom. Do you know or have you heard how your parents reacted? lindseigh > My dad, who lives here in Switzerland, has been helping me a little bit. As for my mom who caused this whole mess, she texts me a 100 times a day telling me to come back, that she will kill me, that she misses me and a ton of other bullshit. Overall it's better than what I expected [OOP]

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Well done for the successful escape! The new start can be rough but everything's possible now. I'm curious how much preparation time you had between your first post and the departure? I bet collecting the documents was stressful and needed some extra time. I also hope you managed to digitize a few pictures of you in different stages of your childhood. That's the only thing I didn't bring but missed since I escaped my childhood home. illusiashe > Thank you! My total preparation time was around 6 months which allowed me to take care of pretty much everything, the only thing that I had to left behind that I wanted was my PC, but thats not a huge deal [OOP]

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What did you do with your football cards? hollowsocket > Had to leave them behind unfortunately [OOP]

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I'm not the original poster.

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This is a repost. The original was posted in /r/offmychest by user heartbrokenaccount26. I'm not the original poster.

This BORU was suggested by /u/jackieatx

Status: Concluded

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># Original September 11, 2026

I just can't believe this is happening.

My [25F] fiancé [27M] has new friends and they are not good people. They scare me. It took me a while to see it, and maybe I'm stupid because I didn't notice right away but I see it now. He met someone through one of his hobbies and eventually this person introduced my fiancé to some of his other friends. At first I convinced myself it was a just a misunderstanding on my part but now I know better. If I try to bring it up with my fiancé he just shuts me down or says I'm imagining things.

I'm not imagining it. I've seen racist tattoos on at least two of them. It might not be overt if you don't know what you are looking for, but if you search online it's clear what the tattoos mean. I've been looking up some of these new friends on social media and their accounts are full of posts about purity and traditional values. My fiancé has become obsessed with this American podcaster who is openly racist and doesn't try to hide it. I've heard these new friends talk about immigration in a negative way and now my fiancé brings it up a lot when he never cared about it before. They also talk about traditional values and gender roles and my fiancé brought up how nice it is if a woman stops working after she gets married. He backtracked and said he was just making a general comment after I got upset with him and we argued, but I can't stop thinking about it. He keeps saying I'm imagining things or that "you're the one who is obsessed since you keep bringing it up."

He's gone down a road that I can't follow. I love him but I can't marry him now. His comments about traditional gender roles and me not working are bad enough but his talk about "purity" is disgusting (and it is racist and exactly the kind you are thinking of, anyone who says otherwise is just as bad as my fiancé and his friends). I can't get through to him, he won't listen to me. I'm going to break up with him. My sister is the only one who knows so far. I'm not ready to tell anyone else but I will after I move out. I just wanted to get this out somewhere. It just hurts so much.

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># Comments by OOP:

He used to vote and politically support the opposite way of the views he has now. He had friends and flatmates who are different races than us. He was the best man when his brother married another man. He's changed since he met these people but he wasn't always like this.

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He wasn't always this way. He was involved in a political party that is the opposite of the beliefs he holds now. When I met him, his flatmates at the time were different races and he called them his best friends. He was also the best man in his brother's wedding, and his brother married a man. I don't know what happened to make him change into such a monsterous person but it broke my heart. He wasn't the man I fell in love with and I don't know what happened to him.

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Yes, his family knows (and none of them support or agree with him).

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># Update September 30, 2026, 19 days later

I (25F) have left him (27M) and cancelled everything related to our wedding. I am staying with my cousin and her husband until I can find a flat for myself and get my life in order. There is still a lot I have to do, my life is a big mess right now. When I told him I was leaving, he just kept saying over and over that he "didn't understand" or that I was the one who was "obsessed" not him, because I was the one who was always bringing it up. I did not stay for very long after I told him I was leaving. I left our flat after I told him I would not be marrying him and thar our relationship was over. I haven't seen or spoken to him since I returned with my cousin to get the rest of my things, three days after I told him I was leaving (my cousin has a car and I do not and there were some things I could not carry). I haven't had contact with him since that day and I never want to see him again. He disgusts me with his horrible beliefs and talk about purity.

[I would like to address and clarify two things that were mentioned in the comments of my first post. First was that the tattoos were definitely racist and I wasn't "misunderstanding" anything. Examples include the number 88, a series of dots that look like nothing but form a swastika when they are all connected, or slogans written in German or other languages. I could go on. Second, my former fiancé wasn't always like this. We first met at a political rally for a cause that is the opposite of his horrible new beliefs. He had flatmates that were not white and he called them his best friends. He was the best man when his brother got married to a man. I don't know what changed to make him turn into such a monster but he wasn't always like this. Now he says his former flatmates should "go back" because they would be more comfortable among "their own kind" even though they were born here. He also says his brother never should have gotten married. I'm heartbroken for his family because they are good people who would never condone his beliefs and his brother doesn't deserve this. My former fiancé was obsessed with an American podcaster who has the most horrid views you can imagine and his new beliefs were not something I could ever live with. I appreciate all the support I got on my other post.]

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># Comment by OOP:

One of his new friends had an 88 tattoo, and when I pointed out what it meant to my former fiancée he said 8 is just his friend's favourite number and I'm the one who is making an innocent tattoo into something hateful. (Nevermind that this friend followed many social media accounts that had racism or racist imagery on them)

My former fiancé would tell me I'm the one who was obsessed with race or purity because I saw it in everything him and his new friends did. He said I was the one making innocent or mundane things about race and I got tired of him being in denial and making me out to be the problem.

---

I'm not the original poster.

This is a repost. The original was posted in /r/GirlDinnerDiaries by user ladyrageofunluckland. I'm not the original poster.

Status: Concluded

Editor's Note: All the updates were made in the same posting in the time span of 3 hours.

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># Original September 28, 2026

He took me to an arcade. Both in our mid-thirties. Only let him pick me up neighborhoods away from my actual home address.

Was having a decent time until I asked him about his political views. Then he added another red flag by gloating about beating someone up and leaving them on the street bloody recently. And then he took extreme issue with my opinion that children are not capable of consent. This man was actually shouting at me that I have a coddled world view and have no idea what I’m talking about. At that point, I literally stood up and politely ended the date. Should have left the building but I ran into the bathroom to hide instead.

He immediately starts blowing up my phone, demanding to know if I had left already and to come to his car out front. My only and last text to him was to state ‘no hard feelings, but our differing views weren’t going to work out in the longterm.’ And lied I got in a cab home already.

He continued to blow up my phone, claiming he thought I enjoyed arguing.

Asked a lady leaving the bathroom to flag one of the employees to come to the bathroom.

Thank you to the lady - a server came right up and I asked her for help to exit the building from a back entrance. She alerted the arcade manager and security. Thank you to server and manager and security - though there’s no back exit, they kept watch on him outside for me and took me to a closed section of the building to wait safely. They alerted me once he drove away an hour later. And the staff told me to stay as long as I wanted, along with many offers of security escorting me to my station and even calling a cab for me.

Dinner is fries and gingerale from the arcade while I continue to wait him out for a bit longer, just in case he parked behind a truck further down the block.

UPDATE: I will update when I actually make it home, some commenters have asked for that. I’m currently still here waiting because I have a gut feeling he parked further down when he probably noticed security watching him.

UPDATE 2: I made a run for it. Security walked up and down the street to double check for me. Ngl my heart jumped when I saw a car that looked like his, but it ended up being a different model. Sticking to 1 way streets. Will update when I’m on the bus.

UPDATE 3: I made it on the bus! The bus driver didn’t see me in the dark rain at first so I actually ran into the street waving my arm to flag him down. Home in 30min. Worser update: my girl several states over has been on the phone with me throughout this. She found several news articles linking his full name/age/location to a man who was arrested&charged with hurting his ex-gf’s dog during an argument with her and the dog ended up dying. What the fuck did I just dodge. This is surreal.

UPDATE 4: I’m home! Well, outside my apt building smoking (cbd, not nicotine or thc) to decompress. Express bus was fast this time at night, and my building has a night security man at the desk (who has protected me from other men that have tried to follow me into my building in the past) who sees me outside as well as in full view of the cameras. Smoking my 3rd ciggie as I read the articles about him. Thank you to everyone who shared their kind sentiments and stayed with me during the aftermath of this trash date. 🫶🏼 Back to being celibate!

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># Comments by OOP:

There were no flags in the car, we actually got along really well on the drive

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Im loaded with self defense tools, def not my first rodeo. Just finished my 3rd ciggie under this awning in the rain, about to pound my 4th

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Based off the articles, seems he’s already been locked up before

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I'm not the original poster.

This is a repost. The original was posted in /r/CatsUK by user abbie0107. I'm not the original poster.

Status: Concluded

Trigger Warning: >!Animal neglect!<

Mood Spoiler: >!All ends well!<

Editor's Note: The RSPCA is the biggest animal welfare organization in England.

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># Original September 13, 2026

This is a bit of a weird one but I really need some outside opinions because I feel completely stuck!!

A young cat started visiting my garden months ago and gradually got skinnier and skinnier, so I set out to find her owners to see what was going on and why she was spending most of the day in my garden. I eventually found her owners, who live in a top floor flat behind my garden. They don’t have a cat flap and rarely open the door for her, hence her making a home in my garden. I WFH, and during summer was spending a lot of time working in the garden; she grew very attached to me and would happily sleep on my lap while I was working and hang out with me all day every day.

In July, her owners went abroad for about 6 weeks and left her locked outside with no access to their flat, no water, and no shelter. They did leave some food with a neighbour (30 sachets of food for 6 weeks) and told the neighbour to feed the cat if she sees her, but didn’t leave any contact details, vet details, or even tell her their name!!

The neighbour already had 3 cats and two dogs, and was simply never seeing this cat (she’s very nervous and wouldn’t approach a house with other cats and dogs), so she wasn’t able to feed her. Eventually she got incredibly weak from lack of food, and so skinny you could literally see her bones; she even started eating bird seed/stale bread from the garden. At this point I contacted Cats Protection for advice and they told me to give her some food, and the neighbour was happy to let me take over feeding while the owners were away.

She’s also had very bad fleas and had one scary episode where she was open-mouth panting, shaking and weak on her legs. I phoned a vet but because I’m not the legal owner they couldn’t offer treatment without permission.

This is where it gets complicated; the owners are now back. I asked if they’d abandoned the cat, and if so, would they consider letting me adopt her and take full responsibility for vet care, food, neutering/microchip etc, so this doesn’t happened again. They said no - it’s their cat. They refuse to take her to the vet and have now told me to stop feeding her, but they’ve been back several weeks and haven’t made any attempt to call her or feed her themselves. They claim she only needs food every two or three days, and that there’s no way she could’ve got skinny within 6 weeks (!!!!).

She still spends basically all her time here, and they never open their door for her. The bowl outside their house which they tried to claim they leave food in for her was just full of leaves and cigarette butts. I’ve reported this to the RSPC, but the case is still open and it’s been weeks. No officer has come out.

The worst part is that I’m looking to move out soon, but right now I feel like if I leave, she loses the only reliable food/water/shelter she has. Obviously I can’t just take her with me because legally she isn’t mine.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? I feel like I’ve somehow ended up responsible for someone else’s cat but with none of the rights to actually care for her properly.

Edit: another thing I should’ve added - I told the owners about the breathing difficulties and weakness when they were away, and they simply said ‘she’s not sick. she had all her vaccines when she was a kitten.’ They absolutely refused to take her to a vet, and genuinely seem to think a vaccinated cat can’t get sick!!!!

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># Comments by OOP:

I did ask the owners whether she’s microchipped but tbh I don’t think they knew what a microchip is, I also told them I’d contacted the RSPCA but I don’t think they had any idea what that was either!! I’ve got a scan angel near me so I’ll contact her, thank you for the advice. I will keep feeding her, I stopped for a little while just to give the owners the opportunity to start feeding, but it’s clear they weren’t. Just want the poor baby happy and healthy xx

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I’ve been back and forth with the RSPCA but unfortunately so far they’ve been completely unhelpful, they just keep saying the case is still open and they can’t give me any more information while they’re investigating. I first called them weeks ago

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I do regret not taking her to the vet when she was really skinny, but when I called them they just told me they wouldn’t be able to do anything without the owners’ permission :/ I didn’t even think to ask about a chip at the time, was just worried about her health at that point! I’ll contact a scan angel now

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We live near some very busy roads too so there was a real chance she could’ve been hit by a car during that time and they would never have known (unless she’s chipped which I very much doubt, but will find out)

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They keep saying she’s an ‘outdoor cat’ and doesn’t need to ever go inside, and only needs food every two or three days. They started to get quite aggressive when I said otherwise! Horrible people.

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I do plan to call my local scan angel first thing tomorrow.

My main concern with her becoming a ‘foster fail’ is that their flat looks directly into our garden, so they’d know we’ve got her. I did seriously consider offering them money for her, but when I approached the subject of me adopting her last time, they started to get a bit aggressive. One guy has been arguing that it’s his son’s cat, and his son is coming back next month, and kept repeating ‘he’s massive, you don’t want to argue you him! he’ll want his cat back!’. As a young woman, I’m very wary of angering these guys any further since their windows look directly into mine. I adore this cat and want nothing more than for her to be happy and healthy, but equally don’t want to start feeling unsafe in my own home!

I am planning on moving fairly soon, but can’t guarantee when that’ll be.

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Editor's Note: At this point, OOP also posted in LegalAdviceUK and the comments are from there.

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I do plan on calling my local Scan Angel in the morning, just to check if she is chipped.

In regard to the owners’ behaviours, I just think they’ve never had a cat before and have no idea how to treat one. They told me they originally got the cat from a couple who moved away and couldn’t take her with them, they were going to rehome her but the son wanted to keep her.

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Unfortunately not :( I think unfortunately I’ll have to keep the status quo till I can move and take her. I could keep her indoors, but I think she’d get very stressed out having been basically living outside for many months, and I’m worried they’ll know I’ve taken her and start threatening me. I’m really hoping the rspca will step in at some point!

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She’s chosen my home! 💛

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># Update September 16, 2026, 3 days later

A lot of people told me to get her scanned for a microchip, so I did. Turns out, she was chipped to someone living on the other side of town, over a mile away, and she’d been missing for over a year!They were absolutely delighted and said they’d pretty much given up hope of finding her. They came and collected her straight away.

Honestly, I’m heartbroken. I know that probably sounds selfish because this is obviously the best outcome for her, but I absolutely adored her and she had become a huge part of my life. She spent all day every day with me while I worked from home and basically became my little shadow. I didn’t really get a chance to say goodbye properly.

I am of course glad she’s gone back to her actual owners though. They seemed lovely and were clearly so happy to have her back, and her owner actually works for a local animal rescue, so I’m sure she’s going to be well looked after.

I still have no idea how the people in the flat ended up with her. My only guess is that they found her on the street and just took her without ever having her scanned. I’m also nervous about what they’ll do when they realise she’s gone as they’ve already been threatening towards me, so I think I’m just going to try and avoid them.

Thank you to everyone who gave me advice. I’m going to miss her very very much, but I’m glad she’s safe now❤️

Pictures of the cat

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># Comments by OOP:

At least I’ll know to scan the next cat straight away and not just assume they’re the legal owners.

I didn’t actually have a plan after this point haha, just thought I’d cross that bridge if I came to it and pray the RSPCA step in. I really didn’t think she’d be chipped tbh!

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[Playing dumb] was exactly my plan, until their neighbour called me a few minutes ago asking what’d happened because she saw me putting her in the cat carrier 😅 I told her the truth because she’s been lovely in helping to look out for the cat and deserved to know what had happened. She’s just told the mum of the ‘fake owner family’ that I took her to the vet as an emergency because she was sick, they found her chip, and wouldn’t let me bring her home. Not entirely true of course, but I do appreciate her trying to protect me. I’m concerned about how the aggressive father and son of the ‘fake owner family’ will react to that, but if they contact me I’m just going to pass them the vet’s info and let them dispute it with them (I’ll phone the vets when they’re open again tomorrow to give them a heads up on the situation)

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Act apologetic that ‘their cat’ got taken away, pass them the number for the vet, then close the curtains and hide 😅

I’ll definitely be adopting as soon as I’ve moved 💛

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I always try and give people the benefit of the doubt, but in this situation they are truly just horrible people. They’ve been nothing but aggressive and threatening every time I’ve interacted with them. The owners were over the moon, and I’m happy for them 💛

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Not sure if the police will do anything, I’ll get back in touch with the rspca tomorrow to tell them the case has been resolved, so I’ll see what they say regarding the fake owners.

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Funnily enough I’ve had cats my whole life adopted from local shelters, until my last baby passed away a couple of years ago. This cat appeared in my life almost exactly two years later, at quite a low point in my life, and has bought me so much joy for the past few months. I needed her as much as she needed me. I do believe the CDS was at play there💛

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I did consider asking to visit or at least for them to send a photo once she’s settled, but I think it’d be easier for me to just detach myself and move on. I’ve posted a reply to another comment regarding the ‘fake owners’, and I’ll definitely be getting another cat as soon as I’ve moved 💛

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She’ll always be in my heart and I know she’ll have a lovely life with her proper owners. I will absolutely be adopting as soon as I’ve moved :)

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I'm not the original poster.

This is a repost. The original was posted in /r/GirlDinnerDiaries by user debbiedamore. I'm not the original poster.

Status: Concluded

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># Original September 16, 2026

Last night’s dinner was chicken and pepper tacos.

I woke up thinking about what happened to me at work yesterday and I just … I rarely discuss politics or religion at work. Yesterday, a very emotionally draining coworker asked me what I thought about the recent Ed Sheeran controversy. I told her I didn’t really want to get into it, but it “seemed like he really stepped in it.”

I thought that was a neutral statement. Apparently, I was wrong because the coworker went bonkers. She said a bunch of stuff and kept repeating “You think you’re so much better?!” I didn’t know what to do, so I said “I’m just gonna walk away now.” And ladies, as I rounded the exit, something hit the doorframe next to me. It was a stapler?! She threw a stapler at me!!

I was a bit dumbfounded so I picked the stapler up and walked it back to her desk without saying a word. Then I went straight to HR. They had us in a room together to talk it out with mediation, and the coworker was beside herself. She cursed me out, cursed the HR lady out, and left. I have no idea what’s going to happen at work today. But maybe I should wear a helmet? Anyway I guess she really loves Ed. 😭

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># Comments by OOP:

We are grown with kids of our own. I cannot believe this even happened!

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># Update September 16, 2026, 1 1/2 hours later

We’ll call the stapler thrower “Tina.” Tina showed up late and wouldn’t speak to anyone or make eye contact with anyone. It was creepy. She was called into HR. Idk what happened in there, but we heard some raised voices. She walked out angry crying. She started packing up her things and my work bestie told her “Don’t forget your stapler!” Lmao, I love her. Tina has been let go. If she shows up again, she’ll be given a trespass warrant. For those curious, she’s about 15 years older than me - in her 50’s. Wild.

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I'm not the original poster.

This post contains content not supported on old Reddit. Click here to view the full post

This is a repost. The original was posted in /r/BoyDinnerDiaries by user NewLifeNewAcct. I'm not the original poster.

Status: Concluded

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># Original September 13, 2026

Dinner was a ton of In-N-Out and some real "well... shit. Lol," energy.

So. My wife and I do some kinky shit . I'm not going to go too in-depth, all y'all really need to know is that there's some physicality and some name calling involved.

It's typically game on at home. We're both athletes. She has a very corporate, high-pressure job, and sex is basically a constant. We're pretty obsessed with each other still (3 years now) - wherever we have alone time, we get laid. Just sort of how it is.

I came home from my basketball game tonight and was surprised to see my wife's car in the garage. On Saturday nights, she's usually not home until a little later (typically, she's at her mom's place as she does quite a lot with her family), so I was excited to see her. It's kind of important to note: there were no other vehicles at the house. My kid was out with her boyfriend and all that.

Anyways, I go inside. Directly on my right when I enter is the kitchen - which I don't look into, because my wife is more or less standing at the door when I opened it.

So, like in any other totally normal and loving and completely consensual relationship, I greet her by putting my hand on her throat and saying "get over here, slut" before pushing her up against the now-open door against the wall. With, like, some force, because that's what we do.

And I am, of course, met with an "Oh my god" from the kitchen. My wife had stopped by home with her mother and sister to pick up some pickleball equipment on the way to the gym - theoretically, they're playing right now, and my wife is being roasted. This all happened about an hour ago.

So, after an awkward explanation and some clarification that I am, in fact, not treating my wife like shit when her family isn't looking - they left, and I drove to In-N-Out.

I crushed all of these burgers. The orders are:

• Double Double, animal style, extra grilled onions, extra pickles

• Double Double, mustard fried, no tomato, extra pickles

• Cheeseburger, raw onion, no tomato, extra pickles

I like pickles. And burgers. This is a big meal but not insane for a game day for me.

In front of my wife's family, I have never been anything but a loving, caring, and thoughtful partner - also sarcastic, and my wife and I are competitive in a lot of ways - but overwhelmingly they like me and I'm actually pretty close with her folks. I know they won't really think less of either of us for this - but holy fucking shit is is going to be awkward for awhile.

I mean, what do you even do but laugh?

You eat burgers. That's what.

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># Comments by OOP:

I immediately realized the value of, like, a 2 minute rule or something.

To be fair to her, we don't really communicate constantly through the day.

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We immediately clarified that this was just, like, our thing, and that it's something she is totally cool with.

Her family is, understandably, weirded out a little - or we're when the conversation happened. It'll all be alright though.

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My wife and I don't really do the BDSM thing, we're just... competitive.

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It is fucking hysterical, and also completely fucking mortifying lol.

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I already know I'm going to have to field jokes about it from her sister at the very least.

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I think my words immediately after were, "Oh. Fuck."

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To be fair, it was in private, at my own home.

I just, you know, was unaware of exactly how private.

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She definitely did not have much time to react. That was sort of the point.

It worked perfectly, just in an unexpected way lmfao.

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I'm not a mind reader, but I think even the most open-minded person might pause to process for a bit if they saw their daughter/sister get handled that way.

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We're preeeeetty cool in my opinion. At least, she is. I do my best.

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It's not the best burger ever, but it's very consistent and tastes fresh which is exactly what I want out of my low effort meal.

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Basically, they squirt mustard directly on the grill and fry the patty like that. They do this when you order animal style, too, if I'm not mistaken, I just didn't want another animal style burger.

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># Update September 14, 2026, 1 day later

Alright. So.

Last night, my wife got home from the gym/hanging with family, and we chatted for a few minutes before we decided to put the obvious necessary talk off for the night - nothing was going to change it, and we had some unfinished business.

She had a reservation to go skydiving with some friends this morning, so she did that, and then we spoke this afternoon.

According to her, she got absolutely mercilessly roasted the entire time she was with her folks. My wife has a history of being stubborn and a bit of a control freak, so it's a total personality mismatch to them. They found this hilarious, apparently. Can't blame them.

They are definitely not going to let either of us live this down. Ever. My sister-in-law has renamed me to "Mr. Grey" in her phone. She showed it to me when she was over earlier. Wonderful.

The talk wasn't long, and it sums up to, "This was really awkward and embarrassing for me, but the world isn't ending, and we definitely aren't stopping."

This was really just a freak (lol) accident. Her sister is usually the one who drives when everyone is hanging out, but she needed a headlight changed - which is now handled even though it took a fucking hour and a half because it's an HiD light and therefore a complete pain in the ass - so generally my wife's car is sitting at her folks' place. Just not last night, lmao.

In the end, there was no harm, no foul. I'm told my mother-in-law thought the whole thing was pretty off-putting, but moved on rather quickly because she "can't take the thought of (me) being abusive seriously, or (my wife) letting someone cross the line like that more than once."

So, W mother-in-law.

Dinner is sous-vide chicken beast, seasoned then seared and topped with a mango jalapeño salsa, with roasted zucchini and potatoes (that were boiled, smashed, then roasted with butter/salt/pepper/garlic powder).

I'd have used habaneros, but I didn't feel like going to the store, and I had some really nice jalapeños just chilling in the kitchen.

I also made a batch of green onion kimchi, and a batch of dill pickles.

Yes. I can cook, too. It's my other love language.

---

># Comments by OOP:

No complaints, really, I'm pretty lucky. I'm not in contact with anyone from my immediate family and my wife's folks were extremely welcoming.

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My wife is in here reading comments and is extremely pleased that so many people have commented (including in the last post) that her sister is jealous.

Seriously, this woman will take anything as a W.

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Well you could do what my wife did and message some random on reddit!

I was in her city for a weekend, she hit me up when I made a post asking if anyone wanted to show me around the town in my dime because I was moving out here for work. Could've been anyone, happened to be her.

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It's not actually that crazy. Just a matter of timing, like anything else.

When we met, her friends had been encouraging her to take more chances when meeting people. She'd been sort of stunted socially because she was always working, hadn't met new folks, been on many dates, etc.

So, she DMed me, said she liked my vibes and that she was an athlete also - we met up a few days later in the morning, spent the day not expecting anything but a potential friend in a new city.

And then after dinner, she asked what my plans were - I had a hotel room booked and I was literally going to go do a pros/cons list. She joined me.

I don't think I ever did finish that list.

I am very, very much not her typical type. She's very corporate and has always dated that type, I'm absolutely a stoner/gamer.

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Talking to your partner is, like, so easy. More people should do that.

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That's actually zucchini in the photo. Though, there are some black peppercorns in the batch of pickles I made.

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I'll pay the pickle tax at a later time

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Seriously I haven't bought mayo in a store in years. It's too easy to make and customize

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I'm not the original poster.

This is a repost. The original was posted in r/AmITheAsshole by users AwayPerformer. I'm not the original poster.

Status: Concluded

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># Original October 30, 2019

I'm a 31 year old single guy who lives alone in an apartment complex. I've lived there for 6 years. My neighbor across the hall, a woman around my age or a little younger (I actually don't know her first name but I'll call her Katie) lives across the hall from me diagonally and has for about 2 years. We exchange hellos but aren't friendly, which is how it is with most of my neighbors.

So I don't know how to cook, and due to losing one of my part time gigs, I don't have as much money for takeout anymore. I'm getting really sick of eating cheap fast food or box mac and cheese. I'm gaining weight and I never feel great.

This is where Katie comes in. I can always smell her cooking in the hall and it always smells amazing (I know it isn't the other person at our end of our hall cause it's a single old man). I've even complimented it a few times. So I got the idea that I'd offer to give her some money each week to cook a little extra and bring it over to me (or I can pick it up from her!) at night. She's cooking anyway and then I'd have varied presumably delicious food.

I asked her the next time I saw her and she looked surprised and said she couldn't because she was too busy (which didn't make sense cause she cooks almost every day but okay). The next time I saw her a few days later, I asked her if she was sure and upped the amount I was offering, and she said she was sure and that it was rude to ask me, and that she isn't a housekeeper for hire and I should get a housekeeper if that's what I want. She also called me 'a stranger' even though we have talked in the halls before.

Overall she made me feel like a big jerk and really embarrassed for even asking her, and a little mad because she was acting like I was being creepy (I wasn't, trust me, she isn't my type). I think asking her to split cooking wasn't completely outlandish, since she cooks every day anyway and it wouldn't be hard to make a little more.

So, AITA?

EDIT: People keep assuming I'm sexist because I didn't think it was the old man who lives on our hall cooking. It's not an assumption for me. He and I have lived across from each other for 6 years. The cooking smells didn't start til she moved in, and I've talked to her about how good her cooking smells before.

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># Consensus:

Asshole.

Also, you're an adult; learn how to cook and learn to accept a no.

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># Comments by OOP:

I have tried cooking before and honestly just don't enjoy it. She seems to enjoy cooking.

I also explained my situation, that I am hopeless at cooking and trying to save money. I offered her $5 at first per day (25/week) and then upped it to $10 which is still cheaper than takeout but more than covers groceries.

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I mean, I've talked to her before and complimented her cooking smells, so I know it's her. I've lived here a long time and so has the old guy and the cooking didn't start til after she moved in.

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I know how to cook a few things, but nothing nutritious or filling, and any attempt at cooking has been a disaster. I figured since she already knows how I wouldn't have to reinvent the wheel if she was interested. I didn't think there was any harm in asking her.

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I don't feel 'entitled' to it. I asked her and offered money. I didn't insist or break into her apartment and take it.

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If she was a man who cooked and it smelled that good I would have offered the same deal.

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As I said in the original post, I'm not interested in her romantically or sexually. She is very not my type. And if a man had been cooking food that smelled good I would have asked him too.

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I am definitely, 100% not hitting on her.

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I wouldn't think it was weird if someone offered to pay me to do their laundry on my laundry days. I'm in the laundry room anyway so it's no problem for me to set up a second machine.

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I'm not asking her to plan special meals or make special trips for me, I just asked if she could expand her regular meals for one more serving. I doubt that costs more than $5/serving.

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I do buy groceries sometimes and It just doesn't seem to me like it would cost more than $5-10 to extend a meal you're already cooking for an additional serving. I'm not expecting filet or lobster or anything.

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I admit I didn't think it through that deeply. I was going to see what she said first before we hashed it out.

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When my work picks up I can go back to ordering more expensive takeout etc. or who knows, maybe I'll have a girlfriend who will cook if I clean.

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># Update October 30, 2019, about 6 hours later

Okay. It is abundantly clear that I was the asshole and asking her was inappropriate and, as much as I hate to admit it, creepy. My instinct is to apologize to her but since my instinct was to ask her in the first place, I'll do the opposite and stay out of her hair. Thanks.

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># Update 2 November 26, 2019, about 1 month later

I knew when I saw this thread with my real account that I would be mentioned. That thread was a real wake-up call for me about what a weirdo I was being. I ended up apologizing to my neighbor (whose name I now know!) and telling her I didn't realize how inappropriate my question was. She accepted the apology and we still nod and smile in the hallway when we see each other.

I will say that I talked to my old man neighbor yesterday and he told me that she left him a tray of fudge over the weekend for the holidays, and I received no such fudge, so I know there is lingering weirdness from my ask... and I totally understand it and do not feel that I deserve fudge.

So, thanks again for everyone for pointing out how weird and entitled I was acting. It did help, even the mean comments, because seeing the strong reactions people had to what I did made me realize there was no wiggle room for me to NOT be an asshole.

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I'm not the original poster.

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