u/SitaBird

I have one about 1.5 hours away from me — I’m in the market for a lasagna pan or a roaster, and would love to see if they’ve got one there. are they the same quality products sold in the stores or are they of a different line of quality? thanks!!

Feeling bad I don’t live in NYC or LA! I’m here in Metro Detroit but can travel 1-2 hours. anybody know which brick and mortar shops that have the most / best / most niche selections of scents to sample? I am familiar with the department stores but am open to hearing your feedback on them as well. I’m curious to try more than just Chanel, Dior, Tom Ford, etc… I want to try diptique, DS&Durga, etat Libra d’orange, Arabic perfumes/ouls, and just… everything I can get my nose on. willing to make several trips.

Thanks!!

so I know this totally depends on the vibe of the home, but thought I’d ask anyway.

think of a cute little cape cod with a white picket fence in a little high income historic neighborhood. it looks cozy/small on the outside with a cute little porch with Virginia creeper vines running up the side, but step inside and it’s surprisingly open and airy with a two-story tall great room with sunlight streaming in thru big windows spanning almost the whole width and length of the opposite wall — through shimmering green trees, casting hundreds of little dynamic circles of light everywhere in the room. I have a few houseplants around which love the high ceiling, and all the natural light. Furniture is sparse and low but high quality. the hardwood flooring, big windows, but historic, worn-but-maintained wooden surfaces throughout makes it feel kind of zen.

what kind of candle would you pick for selling a house w/ this kind of vibe?

Even something generic would be fine - like a lemon, linen, eucalyptus, etc?

thanks!!

I was finally going through some papers while declutterring and found an old statement listing me and my sister as the ITFs.

It is from Talmer Bank and Trust in Port Huron Michigan but that bank doesn’t exist anymore. seems to have been absorbed by Huntington.

other notes: it was a dormancy notice saying it was inactive for 12 months and to call to restore its status. i am not sure if that was done or not. It says there was about $4,000 in the account, “classic savings”. Not sure if anything is still there or not. I really have no idea. my grandpa passed a way in 2017. What would the next steps be?

we have a beautiful 3 bed 3 bath colonial, on a hill, backed by woods and trees, in a family friendly neighborhood. our back deck is second story deck looks over a beautiful yard and woodland pond. the district is good, but not top 10 in the state.

we have been thinking to sell for a while— have been slowly painting, making upgrades, and fixing stuff up, and declutterring… but the school acceptance has put a fire under our butts. now it’s REAL.

we want to sell, and then buy by start of school (end of August). We could also rent for a few months and take our time looking for a house.

what would you do in this situation? Totally lost!

asking because I want to smell all the things, but I don’t want to annoy them. I would plan to buy one, and if I couldn’t pick, I’d get a discovery set. any tips for visiting in person??

It is my dream home - a big yellow house on a hill next to the woods; a natural pond and stream running in the back, huge garden, a raspberry patch, pawpaw trees, a mini meadow of milkweed I’ve planted where we look for monarch caterpillars every year and raise a few of them on our covered deck. we have a lake, a beach, and park within walking distance. all of our three kids have been born and raised here and have loved it.

Sadly, our school district is rated poorly and we have decided we need to move. we cannot afford private school. husband is not open to home schooling. I am lukewarm on the move.

the pros? our house has substantially increased in value since we bought it ten years ago. if we cashed out on it, even after buying a new house elsewhere, we could pay off my student loans entirely ($50k) and have money left over.

how to think about the move? what should I focus on? I get a lump in my throat thinking about it. everyday I sit by the redbud trees my 6yo daughter and I planted when she was a baby that are now taller than both of us combined. i have photos of her growing along with one of the trees framed on my wall. every night in spring we sit on the deck and listen to the frog chorus and in the summer we watch the fireflies in the grass. in the winter we sled down the hill and skate on the icy pond.

my spouse is looking at new builds like Pulte homes in neighborhoods completely leveled of mature trees, I just… have such a hard time imaging life in that kind of suburbia. The major pro would be being around lots of other kids and families.

even though the kids deserve a better education, I just can’t imagine leaving this all behind. 🥀

that said, we could gain from its sale financially, and get a house in a much better district.

anybody ever been in the same boat? advice?

he gets three hours every weekend, with only some offline computer games (racing sim rig, city skylines, Minecraft.)

yet he is obsessed w/ games. today he had a sleepover with a friend at our house, and woke up at 6am, telling his friend about how he hopes they get to play games today.

I not totally anti tech. we have him in a coding school a few hours a week, three years of it so far, and he is quite accomplished with computers and things like 3d printing and design, etc.

but we limit screen and video game time at home.

he has little interest in anything else. literally just sits around sulking in his room waiting for the weekend , saying he’s so bored, there’s nothing to do, complaining, whining oh and yes he tries to sneak it all the time, going into the basement to watch tv or sneaks the iPad to play. But further restricting it when he breaks the rules has seemingly led him to hold a grudge against us and also makes him want screens more.

meanwhile, his little brother and sister are very happy and able to do fine without screens. His little 8yo brother got a book from the library and taught himself how to solve a Rubik’s cube, practices piano for fun, plays outside, sits and talks to me, asks me tons of questions. His little sister draws and writes books about her interests, plays with toys, loves me to tell her stories and do girly activities with her.

my 10yo and eldest just seems restless all the time, can’t focus, doesn’t seem interested in anything, unless it’s video games. His life seems miserable sometimes honestly, in a constant state of waiting.

Any advice on what to do? help!

is it worth bringing my kids up for a camping trip? we are scheduled to go up t Marquette this weekend.

want to do some light hiking such as on presque isle and sugar loaf or jasper knob, do some beach walking, and so on.

i have a thermacell, but face nets, permethrin, deet and citronella candles.

I am eager to go and just deal with it. but I’m worried about the kids complaining too much. lol.

any thoughts?!

thanks!!

if it matters, we are bringing four adults and four kids ages 6-11. camping near tourist park. I have only been up in spring and fall, never June. I hear bugs are bad. the weather looks cool. Are they active at night around the campfire? should we bring bug nets? thermacell? any insights on how to prepare?

it’s also a family reunion honoring her, where we will be sharing stories and gratitudes about her, like a “living funeral” (sorry to be morbid).

I was thinking something like… “La Vie est Belle … avec Rose”. (her name). but is three something else? She is humorous and active, doesn’t like to be reminded that she is old! :) is there a phrase which incorporates Joie de Vivre? what about any other ideas, entirely different?

Thanks!

If it matters, she is French Canadian, but moved to the US as a child. I’m American. I speak French a bit but from learning it in school.

She's turning 89, and it's also her "celebration of life" (while she's alive) that we're honoring at our upcoming family reunion.

Something more than "Happy Birthday."

Her name is Rose. Something like Cheers to Rose, 89 Years Young, or something else.

She's funny and bubbly.

Maybe something like "To the One Who Rose Above it All!" but I'm sure there's a better way to say it?!

Any ideas? Thanks!!!

I totally missed the news. wondering if I can still get something!

I have never done anything like this before - she's a fairly active and vivacious person, she said she wants something lighthearted like a picnic in the park - for her upcoming summer birthday. She's not very religious, but is spiritual. So we have reserved a picnic shelter and set a date and it will be a potluck, we're gonna have some photos of her life, a family tree diagram, and about 30-50 people. But I'm wondering what to do to make it special/sacred, especially for an agnostic/mixed-religion family. Any ideas?

Hi ladies! I am happy to clean and cook. I love homemaking. But my poor husband always asks me “What’s the lunch plan?” at all the wrong times and it secretly triggers me. I have it written down on a calendar but he does not look at it nor does he always like what I have planned, even though it is practical and uses what we have to use.

or — I will cook breakfast and lunch in the morning itself, so I can clean up and not have to cook/clean during the rest of the day. Well, hubs comes down and skips the breakfast (eg, crepes, French toast, eggs, etc) and eats the lunch instead. Then lunch comes, and he is hungry! He puts me in a position suggesting I cook a second lunch, or he cooks his own, and there is a big mess again, that he does not clean very well, although he tries. 🧼 🫣

I think it is actually his way of asking me to give him food without asking directly... and that is ok, but I almost prefer that he ask me directly. Also - he seems to ask right when I am in the middle of me doing something else, like diapering babies, cleaning a bathroom, or doing something equally arduous, messy, or requiring focus. I have even heard of men asking their wives just after giving birth, “What’s for dinner?” It just seems… I don’t know. If I can be honest, that question grates me like no other! Maybe I should do some inner work and explore why??!

How should we respond?! I have responded in the past, unkindly and ineffectively! Looking for another, better, kinder way… How should we respond using the principles taught? Thanks!!

This was my first "toe-dip" into the surrendered wife approach. At first, I was amazed at the simplicity of the approach, thinking - "wow, what a breath of fresh air!" because this was the first positivity-focused approach to strengthening a marriage that might actually seem to work. In the first 15 minutes, I loved the positivity, the energy, and so on.

However, about an hour in, I notice it's just story after story of "miracles" that happened after women started submitting. That a formerly distant husband smiling wide whenever his wife would come through the door. The formerly frugal husband buying a new diamond ring for his wife. The wife cheerfully wishing for a new kitchen, and the husband literally building it the next day. The formerly emotionally-dead husband suddenly wanting to renew his vows and booking them the best and most romantic vacation of their lives.

After like... twenty of these anecdotes, my alarm bells started to ring. It sounds a little too "salesy", or at least bordering on that.

That said, does anybody (who isn't a bot!) have success stories? Should I keep going?

My husband is a nice and wonderful person, but we're sorta in "roommate mode" after 10 years and 3 kids. Looking to get out of our rut!

I feel like I'm truly looking for a unicorn in terms of a name -- but I feel like there's gotta be SOMETHING out there!

Thanks for any tips, leads, or insights.

i have red oak flooring across like 1/2 of my main floor. however, my living room alone is carpeted. I want to tear out the current carpet, but i cannot afford to put hardwood down. thoughts? Should I just get another carpet put in, instead of fake wood? Is there a type of flooring that is better when put next to hardwood?