u/Some-Ad-9119

I’m having a really difficult time right now and I’m hoping people with BPD can give me some perspective because I feel like I’m spiraling.
I recently had a work trip to New York for my new corporate job, and the entire trip was extremely stressful and exhausting for me. I was doing well for most of the week, but by the end of the trip I became incredibly anxious and overwhelmed. I feel like I lost my filter and wasn’t thinking as clearly as I normally do.

On the last day, I made several decisions that I deeply regret. The biggest issue was changing my flight. I was anxious about personal responsibilities and asked my manager if I could change my flight. She had the authority to approve the change and approved it, so at the time I genuinely thought I was handling it appropriately. I didn’t understand that asking to change it so late would be viewed as very unprofessional. I also missed my flight and had to deal with the consequences of that.

I also accidentally left a senior manager out of a work group chat/communication. I wasn’t intentionally excluding anyone, I genuinely thought I had included everyone. I’ve also previously been spoken to about being late once, so now all of these things are being looked at together, especially because I’m still within my first 90 days.

There was also a moment where I made a comment to my trainer about the boutique ambassadors looking down on us, and I said it while an AVP was in the middle of speaking/lecturing to us. Looking back, I realize that was inappropriate and not the kind of judgment or professionalism I want to demonstrate at work. At the time, though, I was extremely anxious and had basically lost my filter.
My trainer spoke to me very harshly about what happened and told me that what I did was unacceptable and that I’d made a bad impression for myself. She told me another manager will speak with me later this week about next steps. I asked her directly if I was likely to be terminated, and she didn’t give me a definite answer, but I’m terrified that I’m going to lose my job.

I’ve been crying and spiraling ever since. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I keep thinking, “Why did I do that? Why didn’t I realize how serious it was? Why couldn’t I handle it better?” I feel like I ruined everything I had worked for and that everyone at work is judging me.

I’m also really angry because I genuinely was trying my best. I wasn’t intentionally ignoring policies or trying to be irresponsible. I was overwhelmed, anxious, and made some really bad judgment calls. But now I’m struggling to separate “I handled this situation badly” from “I’m a terrible, incapable person.”

I’m especially interested in hearing from people with BPD: Have you ever had a situation where you became overwhelmed, made several mistakes close together, and then spiraled into intense shame and fear that you’d ruined your life? How did you get yourself through the aftermath and eventually return to work?

I don’t really need people to tell me whether I “messed up”I know I did. I need help figuring out how to stop the shame spiral and face whatever happens next without completely destroying myself over it.

I’m having a really difficult time right now and I’m hoping people with BPD can give me some perspective because I feel like I’m spiraling.
I recently had a work trip to New York for my new corporate job, and the entire trip was extremely stressful and exhausting for me. I was doing well for most of the week, but by the end of the trip I became incredibly anxious and overwhelmed. I feel like I lost my filter and wasn’t thinking as clearly as I normally do.

On the last day, I made several decisions that I deeply regret. The biggest issue was changing my flight. I was anxious about personal responsibilities and asked my manager if I could change my flight. She had the authority to approve the change and approved it, so at the time I genuinely thought I was handling it appropriately. I didn’t understand that asking to change it so late would be viewed as very unprofessional. I also missed my flight and had to deal with the consequences of that.

I also accidentally left a senior manager out of a work group chat/communication. I wasn’t intentionally excluding anyone, I genuinely thought I had included everyone. I’ve also previously been spoken to about being late once, so now all of these things are being looked at together, especially because I’m still within my first 90 days.

There was also a moment where I made a comment to my trainer about the boutique ambassadors looking down on us, and I said it while an AVP was in the middle of speaking/lecturing to us. Looking back, I realize that was inappropriate and not the kind of judgment or professionalism I want to demonstrate at work. At the time, though, I was extremely anxious and had basically lost my filter.
My trainer spoke to me very harshly about what happened and told me that what I did was unacceptable and that I’d made a bad impression for myself. She told me another manager will speak with me later this week about next steps. I asked her directly if I was likely to be terminated, and she didn’t give me a definite answer, but I’m terrified that I’m going to lose my job.

I’ve been crying and spiraling ever since. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I keep thinking, “Why did I do that? Why didn’t I realize how serious it was? Why couldn’t I handle it better?” I feel like I ruined everything I had worked for and that everyone at work is judging me.

I’m also really angry because I genuinely was trying my best. I wasn’t intentionally ignoring policies or trying to be irresponsible. I was overwhelmed, anxious, and made some really bad judgment calls. But now I’m struggling to separate “I handled this situation badly” from “I’m a terrible, incapable person.”

I’m especially interested in hearing from people with BPD: Have you ever had a situation where you became overwhelmed, made several mistakes close together, and then spiraled into intense shame and fear that you’d ruined your life? How did you get yourself through the aftermath and eventually return to work?

I don’t really need people to tell me whether I “messed up”I know I did. I need help figuring out how to stop the shame spiral and face whatever happens next without completely destroying myself over it.

I’m having a really difficult time right now and I’m hoping people with BPD can give me some perspective because I feel like I’m spiraling.
I recently had a work trip to New York for my new corporate job, and the entire trip was extremely stressful and exhausting for me. I was doing well for most of the week, but by the end of the trip I became incredibly anxious and overwhelmed. I feel like I lost my filter and wasn’t thinking as clearly as I normally do.

On the last day, I made several decisions that I deeply regret. The biggest issue was changing my flight. I was anxious about personal responsibilities and asked my manager if I could change my flight. She had the authority to approve the change and approved it, so at the time I genuinely thought I was handling it appropriately. I didn’t understand that asking to change it so late would be viewed as very unprofessional. I also missed my flight and had to deal with the consequences of that.

I also accidentally left a senior manager out of a work group chat/communication. I wasn’t intentionally excluding anyone, I genuinely thought I had included everyone. I’ve also previously been spoken to about being late once, so now all of these things are being looked at together, especially because I’m still within my first 90 days.

There was also a moment where I made a comment to my trainer about the boutique ambassadors looking down on us, and I said it while an AVP was in the middle of speaking/lecturing to us. Looking back, I realize that was inappropriate and not the kind of judgment or professionalism I want to demonstrate at work. At the time, though, I was extremely anxious and had basically lost my filter.
My trainer spoke to me very harshly about what happened and told me that what I did was unacceptable and that I’d made a bad impression for myself. She told me another manager will speak with me later this week about next steps. I asked her directly if I was likely to be terminated, and she didn’t give me a definite answer, but I’m terrified that I’m going to lose my job.

I’ve been crying and spiraling ever since. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I keep thinking, “Why did I do that? Why didn’t I realize how serious it was? Why couldn’t I handle it better?” I feel like I ruined everything I had worked for and that everyone at work is judging me.

I’m also really angry because I genuinely was trying my best. I wasn’t intentionally ignoring policies or trying to be irresponsible. I was overwhelmed, anxious, and made some really bad judgment calls. But now I’m struggling to separate “I handled this situation badly” from “I’m a terrible, incapable person.”

I’m especially interested in hearing from people with BPD: Have you ever had a situation where you became overwhelmed, made several mistakes close together, and then spiraled into intense shame and fear that you’d ruined your life? How did you get yourself through the aftermath and eventually return to work?

I don’t really need people to tell me whether I “messed up”I know I did. I need help figuring out how to stop the shame spiral and face whatever happens next without completely destroying myself over it.

I’m having a really difficult time right now and I’m hoping people with BPD can give me some perspective because I feel like I’m spiraling.
I recently had a work trip to New York for my new corporate job, and the entire trip was extremely stressful and exhausting for me. I was doing well for most of the week, but by the end of the trip I became incredibly anxious and overwhelmed. I feel like I lost my filter and wasn’t thinking as clearly as I normally do.

On the last day, I made several decisions that I deeply regret. The biggest issue was changing my flight. I was anxious about personal responsibilities and asked my manager if I could change my flight. She had the authority to approve the change and approved it, so at the time I genuinely thought I was handling it appropriately. I didn’t understand that asking to change it so late would be viewed as very unprofessional. I also missed my flight and had to deal with the consequences of that.

I also accidentally left a senior manager out of a work group chat/communication. I wasn’t intentionally excluding anyone, I genuinely thought I had included everyone. I’ve also previously been spoken to about being late once, so now all of these things are being looked at together, especially because I’m still within my first 90 days.

There was also a moment where I made a comment to my trainer about the boutique ambassadors looking down on us, and I said it while an AVP was in the middle of speaking/lecturing to us. Looking back, I realize that was inappropriate and not the kind of judgment or professionalism I want to demonstrate at work. At the time, though, I was extremely anxious and had basically lost my filter.
My trainer spoke to me very harshly about what happened and told me that what I did was unacceptable and that I’d made a bad impression for myself. She told me another manager will speak with me later this week about next steps. I asked her directly if I was likely to be terminated, and she didn’t give me a definite answer, but I’m terrified that I’m going to lose my job.

I’ve been crying and spiraling ever since. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I keep thinking, “Why did I do that? Why didn’t I realize how serious it was? Why couldn’t I handle it better?” I feel like I ruined everything I had worked for and that everyone at work is judging me.

I’m also really angry because I genuinely was trying my best. I wasn’t intentionally ignoring policies or trying to be irresponsible. I was overwhelmed, anxious, and made some really bad judgment calls. But now I’m struggling to separate “I handled this situation badly” from “I’m a terrible, incapable person.”

I’m especially interested in hearing from people with BPD: Have you ever had a situation where you became overwhelmed, made several mistakes close together, and then spiraled into intense shame and fear that you’d ruined your life? How did you get yourself through the aftermath and eventually return to work?

I don’t really need people to tell me whether I “messed up”I know I did. I need help figuring out how to stop the shame spiral and face whatever happens next without completely destroying myself over it.

I’m having a really difficult time right now and I’m hoping people with BPD can give me some perspective because I feel like I’m spiraling.
I recently had a work trip to New York for my new corporate job, and the entire trip was extremely stressful and exhausting for me. I was doing well for most of the week, but by the end of the trip I became incredibly anxious and overwhelmed. I feel like I lost my filter and wasn’t thinking as clearly as I normally do.

On the last day, I made several decisions that I deeply regret. The biggest issue was changing my flight. I was anxious about personal responsibilities and asked my manager if I could change my flight. She had the authority to approve the change and approved it, so at the time I genuinely thought I was handling it appropriately. I didn’t understand that asking to change it so late would be viewed as very unprofessional. I also missed my flight and had to deal with the consequences of that.

I also accidentally left a senior manager out of a work group chat/communication. I wasn’t intentionally excluding anyone, I genuinely thought I had included everyone. I’ve also previously been spoken to about being late once, so now all of these things are being looked at together, especially because I’m still within my first 90 days.

There was also a moment where I made a comment to my trainer about the boutique ambassadors looking down on us, and I said it while an AVP was in the middle of speaking/lecturing to us. Looking back, I realize that was inappropriate and not the kind of judgment or professionalism I want to demonstrate at work. At the time, though, I was extremely anxious and had basically lost my filter.
My trainer spoke to me very harshly about what happened and told me that what I did was unacceptable and that I’d made a bad impression for myself. She told me another manager will speak with me later this week about next steps. I asked her directly if I was likely to be terminated, and she didn’t give me a definite answer, but I’m terrified that I’m going to lose my job.

I’ve been crying and spiraling ever since. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I keep thinking, “Why did I do that? Why didn’t I realize how serious it was? Why couldn’t I handle it better?” I feel like I ruined everything I had worked for and that everyone at work is judging me.

I’m also really angry because I genuinely was trying my best. I wasn’t intentionally ignoring policies or trying to be irresponsible. I was overwhelmed, anxious, and made some really bad judgment calls. But now I’m struggling to separate “I handled this situation badly” from “I’m a terrible, incapable person.”

I’m especially interested in hearing from people with BPD: Have you ever had a situation where you became overwhelmed, made several mistakes close together, and then spiraled into intense shame and fear that you’d ruined your life? How did you get yourself through the aftermath and eventually return to work?

I don’t really need people to tell me whether I “messed up”I know I did. I need help figuring out how to stop the shame spiral and face whatever happens next without completely destroying myself over it.

I’m having a really difficult time right now and I’m hoping people with BPD can give me some perspective because I feel like I’m spiraling.
I recently had a work trip to New York for my new corporate job, and the entire trip was extremely stressful and exhausting for me. I was doing well for most of the week, but by the end of the trip I became incredibly anxious and overwhelmed. I feel like I lost my filter and wasn’t thinking as clearly as I normally do.

On the last day, I made several decisions that I deeply regret. The biggest issue was changing my flight. I was anxious about personal responsibilities and asked my manager if I could change my flight. She had the authority to approve the change and approved it, so at the time I genuinely thought I was handling it appropriately. I didn’t understand that asking to change it so late would be viewed as very unprofessional. I also missed my flight and had to deal with the consequences of that.

I also accidentally left a senior manager out of a work group chat/communication. I wasn’t intentionally excluding anyone, I genuinely thought I had included everyone. I’ve also previously been spoken to about being late once, so now all of these things are being looked at together, especially because I’m still within my first 90 days.

There was also a moment where I made a comment to my trainer about the boutique ambassadors looking down on us, and I said it while an AVP was in the middle of speaking/lecturing to us. Looking back, I realize that was inappropriate and not the kind of judgment or professionalism I want to demonstrate at work. At the time, though, I was extremely anxious and had basically lost my filter.
My trainer spoke to me very harshly about what happened and told me that what I did was unacceptable and that I’d made a bad impression for myself. She told me another manager will speak with me later this week about next steps. I asked her directly if I was likely to be terminated, and she didn’t give me a definite answer, but I’m terrified that I’m going to lose my job.

I’ve been crying and spiraling ever since. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I keep thinking, “Why did I do that? Why didn’t I realize how serious it was? Why couldn’t I handle it better?” I feel like I ruined everything I had worked for and that everyone at work is judging me.

I’m also really angry because I genuinely was trying my best. I wasn’t intentionally ignoring policies or trying to be irresponsible. I was overwhelmed, anxious, and made some really bad judgment calls. But now I’m struggling to separate “I handled this situation badly” from “I’m a terrible, incapable person.”

I’m especially interested in hearing from people with BPD: Have you ever had a situation where you became overwhelmed, made several mistakes close together, and then spiraled into intense shame and fear that you’d ruined your life? How did you get yourself through the aftermath and eventually return to work?

I don’t really need people to tell me whether I “messed up”I know I did. I need help figuring out how to stop the shame spiral and face whatever happens next without completely destroying myself over it.

It’s so annoying because anybody who knows my dad and stepmom seriously invalidates me when I try to tell them the abuse I’ve had to live through and I’m still living through. It feels like everyone just sees my parents as these amazing people who can do no wrong. my dad and stepmom both clearly display severe narcissistic behaviors. two weeks ago my dad told me I was a narcissist, a retard, a bitch, fucked up in the head, that those reasons are the reason I don’t have a boyfriend or friends. He also pointed at his head saying “you have something wrong up here.”

I’m 24 and live with my dad and stepmom, and I pay $300/month in rent. Normally it’s me, my dad, my stepmom, my brother, and four dogs in the house. But my stepbrother got a job around 2.5 hours away from where he actually lives, so he stays here during the week. Then his wife and kids often come too. When that happens it becomes six adults, four kids, and six dogs in the house.

This has honestly been going on for months now and I’m getting overwhelmed.

I already feel like I don’t have much privacy or space. I feel like boundaries in the house have slowly gotten worse. Things get left messy, trash gets left around, people come in and out of rooms, people barge into my room, and I feel like my personal space doesn’t get respected. I know kids are kids, but I’ve been getting increasingly frustrated because I feel like there isn’t much structure around it.

For context, I’m actively trying to get my own place and work toward getting out eventually. I’ve also had severe childhood trauma involving both of my parents that I’ve spent years trying to work through, and I know it affects me emotionally and makes me more sensitive to feeling dismissed, abandoned, or like I don’t matter.

Tonight I was in my bathroom popping pimples on my face when one of my nephews barged in without knocking. He apologized and I told him it was okay. Then literally two minutes later my other nephew barged in too, also without knocking.

At that point I got upset because I think it wasn’t really just about the kids. I think it was months of built-up frustration about feeling like I have no space and no boundaries.

I came out and said:

“Boys, this is Aunt Megan’s bathroom and y’all need to knock before coming in.”

Their mom told them to apologize and then said:

“I guess Aunt Megan doesn’t always lock the door.”

I’m being honest here: that immediately rubbed me the wrong way and I took it as passive-aggressive. I felt like suddenly it became my fault instead of just teaching the kids to knock. I also probably said this part with a condescending tone, but I said something like:

“The bathroom door hasn’t locked for as long as we’ve lived here, so I’m not really sure what that’s about.”

Then my dad got involved and told me I needed to “watch it.”

I went back into the bathroom and then heard him yelling from the living room saying the door DOES lock. I said no it doesn’t. Then he started getting more aggressive and said he was going to come show me.

I told him:

“You’re not going to talk to me like this right now.”

“I’m not doing this.”

“You need to calm down.”

Then things completely exploded.

He started telling me to leave and calling me a bitch, narcissist, and saying I’m fucked up in the head. He started saying I can’t keep jobs, relationships, or friends because something is wrong with me. At one point he pointed to his head and basically said there was something wrong with my brain.

That honestly hurt me more than anything.

As things kept escalating, my stepmom eventually came out while me and my dad were yelling at each other. I need to be honest about my part too: I was extremely angry at that point and I basically said:

“Can you leave? You’re part of this problem. You’re the one that makes things this way.”

I’ve carried a lot of resentment for years and I feel like ever since my dad remarried, things changed and our relationship changed too.

I got angry and fought back. I told him I feel like everything became about his wife and her family and that I’ve felt pushed aside for years.

I know I got angry too and I know I escalated too.

But I feel like this whole thing went from me asking for a basic boundary — don’t walk into the bathroom without knocking — to being told I’m mentally messed up and the reason I struggle in life.

I genuinely need outside perspective because I feel like I’m losing my mind.

I’m 24 and live with my dad and stepmom, and I pay $300/month in rent. Normally it’s me, my dad, my stepmom, my brother, and four dogs in the house. But my stepbrother got a job around 2.5 hours away from where he actually lives, so he stays here during the week. Then his wife and kids often come too. When that happens it becomes six adults, four kids, and six dogs in the house.

This has honestly been going on for months now and I’m getting overwhelmed.

I already feel like I don’t have much privacy or space. I feel like boundaries in the house have slowly gotten worse. Things get left messy, trash gets left around, people come in and out of rooms, people barge into my room, and I feel like my personal space doesn’t get respected. I know kids are kids, but I’ve been getting increasingly frustrated because I feel like there isn’t much structure around it.

For context, I’m actively trying to get my own place and work toward getting out eventually. I’ve also had severe childhood trauma involving both of my parents that I’ve spent years trying to work through, and I know it affects me emotionally and makes me more sensitive to feeling dismissed, abandoned, or like I don’t matter.

Tonight I was in my bathroom popping pimples on my face when one of my nephews barged in without knocking. He apologized and I told him it was okay. Then literally two minutes later my other nephew barged in too, also without knocking.

At that point I got upset because I think it wasn’t really just about the kids. I think it was months of built-up frustration about feeling like I have no space and no boundaries.

I came out and said:

“Boys, this is Aunt Megan’s bathroom and y’all need to knock before coming in.”

Their mom told them to apologize and then said:

“I guess Aunt Megan doesn’t always lock the door.”

I’m being honest here: that immediately rubbed me the wrong way and I took it as passive-aggressive. I felt like suddenly it became my fault instead of just teaching the kids to knock. I also probably said this part with a condescending tone, but I said something like:

“The bathroom door hasn’t locked for as long as we’ve lived here, so I’m not really sure what that’s about.”

Then my dad got involved and told me I needed to “watch it.”

I went back into the bathroom and then heard him yelling from the living room saying the door DOES lock. I said no it doesn’t. Then he started getting more aggressive and said he was going to come show me.

I told him:

“You’re not going to talk to me like this right now.”

“I’m not doing this.”

“You need to calm down.”

Then things completely exploded.

He started telling me to leave and calling me a bitch, narcissist, and saying I’m fucked up in the head. He started saying I can’t keep jobs, relationships, or friends because something is wrong with me. At one point he pointed to his head and basically said there was something wrong with my brain.

That honestly hurt me more than anything.

As things kept escalating, my stepmom eventually came out while me and my dad were yelling at each other. I need to be honest about my part too: I was extremely angry at that point and I basically said:

“Can you leave? You’re part of this problem. You’re the one that makes things this way.”

I’ve carried a lot of resentment for years and I feel like ever since my dad remarried, things changed and our relationship changed too.

I got angry and fought back. I told him I feel like everything became about his wife and her family and that I’ve felt pushed aside for years.

I know I got angry too and I know I escalated too.

But I feel like this whole thing went from me asking for a basic boundary — don’t walk into the bathroom without knocking — to being told I’m mentally messed up and the reason I struggle in life.

I genuinely need outside perspective because I feel like I’m losing my mind.