u/Stock_Song8239

i'm a 20-year-old trans woman (born in 2006), and i'm trying to figure out how to come out to my dad; i'm looking for a bit of everything: advice on how to approach the conversation, what to say, how to handle his reaction, and experiences from people who've been through something similar;

some context:

my dad was born in korea in 1965 and currently lives in korea; i'm currently studying at university and living between italy and the netherlands; my mom was born in italy in 1973, and my parents are divorced; i speak with my dad mostly through text because we're usually in different countries, so i'm thinking that my first coming-out conversation would probably be through text, followed by calls later;

i've known/understood that i'm trans for many years; my mom already knows and is generally supportive, although she has some concerns and worries about transition and hrt; she has also told me that, looking back, i had been leaving "crumbs" for years, although i don't know whether my dad has ever noticed any of that;

the difficult part is that i genuinely have no idea how my dad will react; we've basically never talked about lgbt issues, so i don't have any previous conversations or opinions from him that i can use to predict his response; i know he describes himself as progressive and left-wing, but i don't know how that translates specifically to transgender issues, especially coming from his generation and background; i don't want to assume that being korean means he'll react a certain way either; i just don't know;

i'm also still financially dependent on my parents while i'm at university, roughly 50/50 between them; so although i don't necessarily expect my dad to react badly or withdraw support, i also don't want to handle this irresponsibly when i still depend on my parents financially;

i'm not currently able to start hrt because of bureaucracy/administrative

i'm a 20-year-old trans woman (born in 2006), and i'm trying to figure out how to come out to my dad; i'm looking for a bit of everything: advice on how to approach the conversation, what to say, how to handle his reaction, and experiences from people who've been through something similar;

some context:

my dad was born in korea in 1965 and currently lives in korea; i'm currently studying at university and living between italy and the netherlands; my mom was born in italy in 1973, and my parents are divorced; i speak with my dad mostly through text because we're usually in different countries, so i'm thinking that my first coming-out conversation would probably be through text, followed by calls later;

i've known/understood that i'm trans for many years; my mom already knows and is generally supportive, although she has some concerns and worries about transition and hrt; she has also told me that, looking back, i had been leaving "crumbs" for years, although i don't know whether my dad has ever noticed any of that;

the difficult part is that i genuinely have no idea how my dad will react; we've basically never talked about lgbt issues, so i don't have any previous conversations or opinions from him that i can use to predict his response; i know he describes himself as progressive and left-wing, but i don't know how that translates specifically to transgender issues, especially coming from his generation and background; i don't want to assume that being korean means he'll react a certain way either; i just don't know;

i'm also still financially dependent on my parents while i'm at university, roughly 50/50 between them; so although i don't necessarily expect my dad to react badly or withdraw support, i also don't want to handle this irresponsibly when i still depend on my parents financially;

i'm not currently able to start hrt because of bureaucracy/administrative

hypothetically, imagine a community that speaks italian but has always written italian exclusively in another script, for example arabic, hebrew, cyrillic, greek, hangul, cherokee, hanzi, etc;

which of these scripts would be the most plausible for such an italian-speaking community to realistically exist?

hypothetically, imagine a community that speaks italian but has always written italian exclusively in another script, for example arabic, hebrew, cyrillic, greek, hangul, cherokee, hanzi, etc;

which of these scripts would be the most plausible for such an italian-speaking community to realistically exist?

hypothetically, imagine a community that speaks italian but has always written italian exclusively in another script, for example arabic, hebrew, cyrillic, greek, hangul, cherokee, hanzi, etc;

which of these scripts would be the most plausible for such an italian-speaking community to realistically exist?

hypothetically, imagine a community that speaks italian but has always written italian exclusively in another script, for example arabic, hebrew, cyrillic, greek, hangul, cherokee, hanzi, etc;

which of these scripts would be the most plausible for such an italian-speaking community to realistically exist?

i'm trying to figure out what country i should move to after i finish my current program, and i'd really appreciate input from people who have experience with international relocation, trans healthcare, cybersecurity careers, or studying abroad;

i'm transfeminine, born in 2006, and i'm an italian citizen; i also have korean citizenship; i'm currently studying in the netherlands in a program specifically called "junior cyber security engineer;" i'll have 120 ects by august 2027;

my school says that after completing it, i can either continue into a bachelor's degree or enter the workforce, so i'm open to both options; my main goal, though, is to become financially independent as soon as realistically possible; my career goal is to work as a soc analyst, although i'm open to other it/cybersecurity jobs if that makes getting started easier;

i'd prefer to leave the netherlands after graduating, although i'd stay temporarily if there were a particularly good reason to;

i'm looking for a country where i could realistically combine good access to public/social-insurance healthcare, accessible feminizing hrt, ideally an informed-consent approach, although i'm fine with a normal medical pathway if it's ethical and reasonably accessible, no multi-year hrt waiting list, hrt that is free or has reasonable out-of-pocket costs, and a system where a newly arrived person can realistically get into the public healthcare system;

i'd also like good opportunities to get an entry-level soc/cybersecurity job, with english being sufficient for work even if i need to learn some of the local language for everyday life; a reasonable cost of living is important too;

ideally, i'd like to find a country where i can transfer a substantial amount of my 120 ects into a bachelor's, but i'm willing to choose employment instead if that's clearly the better option;

i'm willing to consider any country in the world; europe is preferable for practical reasons, but i'm also open to places like canada, australia, or new zealand if they would be substantially better;

my parents are willing to financially support me while i'm studying, including normal public healthcare costs if necessary; however, they will not pay for private healthcare at all; because of that, i'm specifically looking for countries where i could access hrt through the normal public/social healthcare system rather than needing to rely on a private clinic;

if i start working, my goal is to become financially independent and pay for my own healthcare;

if you were in my situation, what country or countries would you seriously consider, and would you choose the bachelor's route or try to get a job first?

i'd especially appreciate hearing from people who have actually lived in these countries, transitioned there, worked in cybersecurity/it there, or transferred university credits internationally;

i'm mainly looking for country suggestions, personal experiences, and things i may not have considered;

Hi >!everyone!<! I’m an EU student living in the Netherlands (Eindhoven/Veldhoven area). Because public healthcare waiting lists here are years long and, as a jobless student, I don't qualify for local Dutch public insurance, I'm looking into private alternatives.

My mom is open to private options as long as they are safe and legitimate, and she also suggested looking into private care in Italy as a backup plan.

I wanted to ask the community:

1. Imago (imago.tg): For anyone using Imago while living in the Netherlands, how smoothly do local Dutch pharmacies accept their EU-valid prescriptions, and how do you handle local blood work?
2. Italian Private Route: Has anyone managed Italian private endocrinologists or telemedicine while living abroad in the Netherlands? How does that compare logistically to an EU-wide informed consent service like Imago?

Any advice, experiences, or recommendations would be hugely appreciated so I can present a clear, safe plan to my family!

Hi everyone,

I’m currently pursuing the Associate Degree (Ad) in ICT (120 ECTS / EQF Level 5) at Fontys in Eindhoven.

I am an EU citizen, so visa sponsorship isn't an issue for me anywhere in Europe. My main goal long-term is to work in tech—specifically in fields like Cyber Security / Software—with the flexibility to live and work either in the Netherlands or elsewhere in Europe (e.g., Germany, Italy, or remote).

I’m currently mapping out my options post-graduation and would love some real-world input on three potential pathways:

1. Option A: Stop after the 2-year Ad and go straight to work. Use the Fontys internship to land a junior role in NL/EU, rely on real work experience after 1–2 years to dilute the degree gap.
2. Option B: Do a 1-year (60 ECTS) online or European BSc Top-Up. Transfer the 120 ECTS to get a full 180 ECTS / Level 6 European Bachelor’s in 3 total years instead of 4, bypassing automated corporate HR/ATS filters in countries that don't know what an Associate Degree is.
3. Option C: Ad + Heavy Certifications (e.g., OSCP, AWS, CKA). Skip further general uni classes and focus on hands-on industry certs to show practical capability to engineering leads.

For anyone who completed an Ad at Fontys or works in European tech:

• How is the 2-year Ad actually perceived by employers outside the Netherlands (especially in traditional HR environments like Germany or Southern Europe)?
• Is doing a 1-year top-up or stacking high-end certs (like OSCP) worth the extra effort compared to just getting 2 years of work experience under your belt?
• If you did the internal Fontys progression (doorstroom) route into the HBO Bachelor, how smooth was it?

Appreciate any honest feedback or experiences!

Hi everyone,

I’m currently pursuing the Associate Degree (Ad) in ICT (120 ECTS / EQF Level 5) at Fontys in Eindhoven.

I am an EU citizen, so visa sponsorship isn't an issue for me anywhere in Europe. My main goal long-term is to work in tech—specifically in fields like Cyber Security / Software—with the flexibility to live and work either in the Netherlands or elsewhere in Europe (e.g., Germany, Italy, or remote).

I’m currently mapping out my options post-graduation and would love some real-world input on three potential pathways:

1. Option A: Stop after the 2-year Ad and go straight to work. Use the Fontys internship to land a junior role in NL/EU, rely on real work experience after 1–2 years to dilute the degree gap.
2. Option B: Do a 1-year (60 ECTS) online or European BSc Top-Up. Transfer the 120 ECTS to get a full 180 ECTS / Level 6 European Bachelor’s in 3 total years instead of 4, bypassing automated corporate HR/ATS filters in countries that don't know what an Associate Degree is.
3. Option C: Ad + Heavy Certifications (e.g., OSCP, AWS, CKA). Skip further general uni classes and focus on hands-on industry certs to show practical capability to engineering leads.

For anyone who completed an Ad at Fontys or works in European tech:

• How is the 2-year Ad actually perceived by employers outside the Netherlands (especially in traditional HR environments like Germany or Southern Europe)?
• Is doing a 1-year top-up or stacking high-end certs (like OSCP) worth the extra effort compared to just getting 2 years of work experience under your belt?
• If you did the internal Fontys progression (doorstroom) route into the HBO Bachelor, how smooth was it?

Appreciate any honest feedback or experiences!

Hi everyone, I’m looking for advice from people familiar with KakaoTalk.

I have had a KakaoTalk account for many years. It was originally created in Korea using a Korean phone number that belonged to my dad, but later I used Dutch phone numbers. I have mainly used KakaoTalk on desktop for years, and I have used it from Korea, the Netherlands, and Italy over time.

Recently, I installed KakaoTalk on a new phone (Xiaomi) after not having the mobile app for years. Shortly after, Kakao detected a “potential security risk” and sent me an email saying that suspicious login activity may have been detected. I was asked to secure my account.

After this, I was logged out of the desktop version. When I tried to log back in, Kakao asked for additional verification, including phone verification or card verification. I no longer have access to the old Korean number.

I do have access to:

• my Kakao Account email
• my backup/recovery email that was set up beforehand
• my account information and history

I contacted Kakao Customer Service and received a response saying it was a User Protection Measure caused by their automated anti-abuse system, and that it may be lifted after some time if no abnormal activity is detected.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

• How long did it take for the restriction to disappear?
• Were you able to recover your account through email verification?
• Is there anything else I should do, or is waiting the best option?

I’m worried because I have a lot of old contacts and conversations on this account, and I would prefer not to create a new one.

Hey everyone! I wanted to share a nice milestone, but also reach out for some advice from anyone who has navigated starting HRT in Italy (or balancing care while studying abroad in the EU).

The Story: My mom and I were messaging about scheduling a general health checkup while I'm home. I decided to take a leap and asked if we could also add a visit to look into starting HRT so we could get a complete picture together.

Her response blew me away in the best way—she immediately replied with a red heart (❤️), said we’ll definitely talk about it together in person, and her only real question was wondering about local medical logistics and finding the right clinics/specialists! Knowing she's in my corner and treating this as a supportive, practical process is a massive weight off my shoulders.

Looking for Advice / Next Steps: Since we’re planning to look into doctors and options together soon, I’d love to learn from your experiences:

• Navigating Doctors: For those in Italy (especially around Abruzzo / Rome), do you recommend going through private endocrinologists or specific clinics? How long did initial baseline blood work or consultations usually take for you?
• Studying Abroad Logistics: I study in the Netherlands and travel back and forth. How easy or difficult is it to get cross-border prescriptions fulfilled, or carry medication back and forth across EU borders?
• First Consultation Tips: Is there anything specific you wish you had known or asked during your very first HRT consultation?

Any tips, recommendations, or shared experiences would mean the world to me. Thanks so much! ✨

Hi everyone,

I'm an autistic young adult (20). I previously lived in South Korea, where my medical care took place, and I'm posting here because I feel completely exhausted and let down by how the healthcare system treated me. I want to share my experience with diagnostic overshadowing—where doctors used my Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) diagnosis as a catch-all reason to ignore my severe gender dysphoria and clinical depression.

Looking back at my clinical records from my time in Korea, there were multiple specific moments where the system could have helped, but repeatedly chose inaction:

Late 2021 (School & Early Evaluation Stage): During clinical interviews, my schoolteacher explicitly reported that I was talking to peers about my gender identity struggles. Instead of recognizing this as gender incongruence, the evaluators wrote it off as me having "inappropriate social boundaries" due to autism.

Early 2022 (Comprehensive Psychological Testing): Testing at a counseling center in Seoul confirmed an ASD profile, but also flagged Borderline Clinical elevations in depression and noted passive suicidal ideation. The recommendation? No therapy or SSRIs—just basic "monitoring".

Spring 2023 (University Hospital Outpatient Care): Over four months of consultations at a university hospital, I repeatedly told my attending psychiatrist: "My body is male, but my heart/mind is female", "Being in a male body makes me anxious", and "This feels even more severe than autism". The hospital recorded all of these statements in my chart, but never logged a working diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria, never conducted a formal assessment, and never referred me to a gender specialist. Instead, they treated my panic attacks with low-dose antipsychotics and PRN sedatives (Aripiprazole, Quetiapine, Alprazolam) to manage the agitation—suppressing my panic without ever addressing what was causing it.

Projective Testing (June 2023): Sentence completion tests showed severe pain about my body, including jealousy toward pregnant women and statements like "I want to disappear." Again, the summary just recommended "continued monitoring".

At Age 19 (Counseling Center): I finally advocated for myself and asked about puberty blockers / hormonal options to stop further masculinization. The therapist dismissed me, claiming it was "pointless" because I had already gone through puberty—completely ignoring how adult anti-androgens and hormone replacement therapy (HRT) actually work.

Every single time I expressed distress, the clinics framed it as "autistic social difficulties" or "autistic anxiety." Treating panic with sedatives while ignoring my depression and dysphoria eventually led to severe emotional dysregulation and acute panic episodes.

I am no longer in Korea and am now trying to move past this cycle to find affirmative, specialized care wherever I am now, where my autism and gender identity can both be recognized without one invalidating the other.

A few questions for the community:

1. Has anyone else experienced doctors attributing your gender dysphoria entirely to your neurodivergence? How did you break out of that cycle?
2. How do you handle doctors who treat surface symptoms (panic/agitation) while refusing to address body dysphoria?
3. How did you navigate starting gender-affirming care after moving or changing health systems following years of diagnostic overshadowing?

Thank you so much for reading and for any advice or shared experiences you can offer.

Hi everyone,

I'm an autistic young adult (20). I previously lived in South Korea, where my medical care took place, and I'm posting here because I feel completely exhausted and let down by how the healthcare system treated me. I want to share my experience with diagnostic overshadowing—where doctors used my Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) diagnosis as a catch-all reason to ignore my severe gender dysphoria and clinical depression.

Looking back at my clinical records from my time in Korea, there were multiple specific moments where the system could have helped, but repeatedly chose inaction:

Late 2021 (School & Early Evaluation Stage): During clinical interviews, my schoolteacher explicitly reported that I was talking to peers about my gender identity struggles. Instead of recognizing this as gender incongruence, the evaluators wrote it off as me having "inappropriate social boundaries" due to autism.

Early 2022 (Comprehensive Psychological Testing): Testing at a counseling center in Seoul confirmed an ASD profile, but also flagged Borderline Clinical elevations in depression and noted passive suicidal ideation. The recommendation? No therapy or SSRIs—just basic "monitoring".

Spring 2023 (University Hospital Outpatient Care): Over four months of consultations at a university hospital, I repeatedly told my attending psychiatrist: "My body is male, but my heart/mind is female", "Being in a male body makes me anxious", and "This feels even more severe than autism". The hospital recorded all of these statements in my chart, but never logged a working diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria, never conducted a formal assessment, and never referred me to a gender specialist. Instead, they treated my panic attacks with low-dose antipsychotics and PRN sedatives (Aripiprazole, Quetiapine, Alprazolam) to manage the agitation—suppressing my panic without ever addressing what was causing it.

Projective Testing (June 2023): Sentence completion tests showed severe pain about my body, including jealousy toward pregnant women and statements like "I want to disappear." Again, the summary just recommended "continued monitoring".

At Age 19 (Counseling Center): I finally advocated for myself and asked about puberty blockers / hormonal options to stop further masculinization. The therapist dismissed me, claiming it was "pointless" because I had already gone through puberty—completely ignoring how adult anti-androgens and hormone replacement therapy (HRT) actually work.

Every single time I expressed distress, the clinics framed it as "autistic social difficulties" or "autistic anxiety." Treating panic with sedatives while ignoring my depression and dysphoria eventually led to severe emotional dysregulation and acute panic episodes.

I am no longer in Korea and am now trying to move past this cycle to find affirmative, specialized care wherever I am now, where my autism and gender identity can both be recognized without one invalidating the other.

A few questions for the community:

1. Has anyone else experienced doctors attributing your gender dysphoria entirely to your neurodivergence? How did you break out of that cycle?
2. How do you handle doctors who treat surface symptoms (panic/agitation) while refusing to address body dysphoria?
3. How did you navigate starting gender-affirming care after moving or changing health systems following years of diagnostic overshadowing?

Thank you so much for reading and for any advice or shared experiences you can offer.

Hypothetical question: Suppose a former US president leaves office and later decides to formally renounce their US citizenship;

Since former presidents receive Secret Service protection under federal law, what would happen?

Would they automatically lose Secret Service protection because they are no longer a US citizen, or would their status as a former president still require protection?

Would Congress need to change the law, or could the government continue protecting them anyway?

What if they overstay their US visa?

Has anything like this ever been considered?

Hey everyone,

I’m a trans woman (MtF, currently transitioning in progress) and I'm dating an amazing cis American lesbian. My family doesn't know about my transition yet. My mom knows my girlfriend on a basic info level, and she actually has an inkling about what's going on with me, having told me before that she will accept me unconditionally. My dad is mostly neutral/practical (his view is basically "as long as you're successful").

However, I am really anxious about how my sister is going to react when she finds out about both my transition and my relationship.

She is a very devout Roman Catholic. I recently casually messaged her to ask what she thought about LGBTQ+ people and if she had any gay friends. She replied saying she has gay and lesbian friends but specified that they "don't identify with the LGBTQ+ concept" and "abstain from sexual relationships." She also mentioned that she views marriage strictly as a sacrament between a man and a woman (though she's okay with legal civil partnerships) and called the broader movement a "commercial project."

Because I am MtF and dating a cis woman, technically by her strict biological logic, she might view our dynamic as a "heterosexual" pairing. But the reality is that my girlfriend is a lesbian, I am transitioning to female, and we are living our lives as two women.

I'm incredibly confused and stressed about how someone with this specific "love the person, reject the actions/labels" Catholic mindset is going to react when it hits close to home.

• Will she try to insist on total abstinence for me?
• Will she completely refuse to use my real name and pronouns because of her religious boundaries?
• Has anyone dealt with a sibling who uses this exact theological logic?

I'd love to hear from other trans folks who have navigated coming out to deeply religious siblings, or even progressive/ex-Catholics who understand this mindset. How did it go for you, and how did you handle the boundaries?

Hey everyone, I’m pre-everything and currently closeted to most people in my life, and I’m caught in a massive overthinking loop right now. I wanted to see if anyone has been in a similar spot.

I have a close friend who I know is super chill and supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. Logically, I know I shouldn’t worry. But the conversation has accidentally steered right into my identity, and the anticipation is killing me.

Long story short: My sister found a deeply personal "Dear Santa" letter I wrote a while back where I came out as a trans girl and asked for things like makeup, clothes, and a cosplay outfit. My sister is transphobic, read it anyway, showed my parents, and completely shattered my trust.

Fast forward to today: My friend asked me what was in that letter because she knew it caused a big family rift. I told her to take a guess, saying, "I thought it'd be more obvious" (thinking she’d connect the dots since she already knows my sister is transphobic).

Her response was: "hmm..... are you.... gae?"

Right now, I'm about to reply with "you're getting closer," which I know is going to make her guess again and probably hit the mark. I know she's an ally, but my brain is running a million kilometers an hour.

There are just so many layers. She knows I have a girlfriend (she actually knew before she once confessed feelings for me a while back), I'm pre-transition, and part of me feels major imposter syndrome. I’m terrified the "vibe" will change or that the trauma from my sister finding the letter is just making me hyper-defensive.

Has anyone else felt this exact kind of paralyzing anxiety when coming out to someone you know will be supportive? How do you stop overthinking the text exchange and just let them hit the target?