u/Suspicious-Call405

▲ 4 r/sfoghi

"Fai come vuoi, vestiti come una barbona"

Ci deve essere un posto all'inferno solo per le donne narcisiste schifose che si definiscono "madri" ma insultano le figlie ogni volta che hanno un'opinione diversa dalla loro

Mia madre ama dirmi che vado in giro come una barbona anche quando ho addosso SOLO vestiti comprati il giorno prima, ma lo dice quando si agita perché non voglio indossare ciò che suggerisce lei. Mi ha appena tirato fuori un vestito che mi sta stretto e lei LO SAPEVA, gliel'ho dovuto ripetere altre 2 volte e poi si è infastidita ma io mi sono incazzata più di lei perché non ce la faccio più a ripeterle sempre le stesse cose tutti i giorni

Nonostante la mia reazione comunque lei è andata fuori tema e ha detto "va bene allora vai in giro vestita da barbona" e mi fa incazzare perché DIOCANE LEI SI COMPRA I VESTITI DAGLI ZINGARI LADRI DEL MERCATO, CHE AMMETTONO DI AVERLI RUBATI NEI NEGOZI SENZA PAGARE

È LEI LA BARBONA PORCODIO E SI È INCAZZATA QUANDO GLIEL'HO DETTO

cioè capito io sono quella che si veste male ma lei non si vergogna della MERDA che si mette dopo averla presa PER TERRA da ladri seduti sul piscio di cane CHE NON HANNO NEANCHE IL PERMESSO DI VENDERE LE LORO COSE, ma non lo capisci che fai schifo brutta vipera lurida

Non ha capito che non vale un cazzo come persona, si è incazzata quando le ho chiesto se crede di essere meglio di me e mi ha detto "sono meglio di te anche con uno straccio addosso" AHAHAAHAH TI ODIO 🤗🤗 vedi come ti lascio IO in mezzo alla strada con gli stracci addosso quando diventi una novantenne in fase di decomposizione

Spero comunque di morire prima dei miei genitori mannaggia la madonna maledetto il giorno in cui non hanno usato quel preservativo del cazzo

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u/Suspicious-Call405 — 2 days ago

I got Denia for Luuk.. what do I do now?

I probably should've skipped her, but I'm happy because she's my favorite character from lahai-roi. I have some doubts now tho.

I have 9k astrites left, and I was looking forward to an Aemeath rerun, which means I might need Chisa because this could be her last rerun. At the same time though, rumors say Cartethyia is rerunning next patch, I have her s1 and I'd like to get her s2 (though maybe s3 is the only convenient option)

So.. do I leave my Cartethyia the way she is, and get an Aemeath team? Will I regret not upgrading my Cartethyia, or will Aemy be a better option since she's a newer unit?

u/Suspicious-Call405 — 2 days ago

I WON

I won't get her weapon but now I need Phrolova's, or else I won't be able to put Strjngmaster on Denia

The voices won.. I was going to skip her because I didn't want to miss out on Chisa again, but I was too greedy and impatient to wait for Denia's rerun. I will ignore the guilt about skipping Chisa.. regrets are for the weak, Denia is the priority

u/Suspicious-Call405 — 2 days ago

The Headspace Netflix guides

Hello guys, I don't know if this is the right sub to ask

So my therapist has recommended meditation/breathing/relaxation techniques, and he specifically sent me a Netflix link to the Headspace meditation videos. The problem is I don't have Netflix.

I guess my question is, does anyone know where I can watch them online? And where on the internet I can find them?

There's a Headspace YouTube channel but I would definitely like to look for the Netflix videos, unless the YouTube guides are the same, but I'm not sure

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u/Suspicious-Call405 — 2 days ago

I can't tell if I'm developing self-harm urges

I am 19f and I've been in therapy for 3.5 months or so. This doubt feels stupid but I got it because the past month, I got very used to using pain to stop myself from crying when stressed: when I'm in school and presentations/tests don't go well, I get overwhelmed until I tear up, and I can't stop unless I dig my nails in my skin (or scratch my arms with them frantically).

This is because other coping mechanisms take too much "effort", like reaching for a pen to scribble on paper. Other things like pressing my feet to the floor, or squeezing my hands together, don't work because the sensation isn't strong enough. It has to be a sharp pain.

So basically that's related to my anxiety or something like that, but of course, school isn't my only problem. At home (where I don't feel loved by my parents, plus I have no friends) I've been thinking about the idea of hurting myself with sharp kitchen knives or scissors.

I need to mention that at 10 years old, I knew what SH was. I was going through a lot emotionally and I started giving myself shallow cuts with the scissors i kept in my pencil case.. there was a time when I managed to get a blade from a pencil sharpener and I kept it in a pocket of my backpack. I can't remember if I used it before my mom threw it away (she was clueless), but if I used it, the scratches were definitely shallow anyway. After less than 2 months I stopped.

I can't remember what it felt like to want to hurt myself. I feel silly for saying this when I dont even know what my brain wants, and I feel embarassed at the thought of telling my therapist. I'm not sure what to do, because I dont know if this could escalate or not.. I just know I'm not in a good place mentally even though no one sees it, and even though I dont have a plan to end my life despite knowing I don't want to be alive

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u/Suspicious-Call405 — 4 days ago

Disappointed about the mark i got today

Keep in mind im European, I don't even relate to the posts on this sub because my school system is different, but oh well. Basically we get marks from 2 to 10, 10 being the highest, and we do written tests but we get tested orally as well (teacher asks us questions for at least 30 mins)

The problems started at the beginning of the class. The teacher gave us back some tests, and we wasted SO MUCH TIME. One person (who was literally about to be graded with me) decided to waste at least ten fucking minutes asking her questions about the grade he got, and SHE KEPT ANSWERING? DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR FUCKING PRIORITIES?? TELL HIM TO FUCK OFF AND ASK US THE QUESTIONS ALREADY

At that point we had barely 25 minutes left and I was already upset. But three other people were being tested alongside me, and they didn't know anything.. they were slow which made us waste more time, but it wasn't a big deal: if there was something they didn't know, i could just answer for them and show the teacher that I had studied a lot.

I thought I was doing well. And objectively? She gave me a high grade, an 8.2 out of 10.

But that's NOT what I deserved. It's unfair. The "good students" ALL got an 8.5, a 9, a 10... but she gave me an 8.2 after asking me how I thought I had done, literally looking at me like I had the same level of preparation of my other classmate who barely passed. You should've seen her face while I said I was proud of myself.

She was like: "yeah you knew this topic but not this one". HOW does your bitchass know I wasn't prepared if you've barely asked me 2 very specific questions about it?? Plus, the topics to study were at least three or four and we just had no time to get to the others. I'd suggested we asked the next teacher to let us be tested for 20-ish minutes of his class, but no one agreed even though it's a perfectly normal thing to do. My classmate said no "because our religious education teacher had a topic to explain" but.. is someone gonna die if we don't pay attention to the first 20 minutes of RELIGION CLASS???

The teacher is 27 and she's fine.. the thing is she gives marks based on precision; but there are people who get a free high score because they have a good reputation. Plus, if you want me to be precise and detailed, YOU HAVE TO ASK ME THE GENERAL QUESTIONS FIRST.

I'm pissed off because I wanted a 9 and I can't believe 85% of the class got it and I didn't. Now its too late to get more than 8/10 in that subject for my report card. I've been trying to get a 9 so I could get an overall higher score on the whole report card, because I will barely pass three subjects, so I need higher grades in the other eight.

I worked my ass off and now I can't change my grade. I'm tired. The year is ending and I wanted the end of it to be good, but I guess I'll just be average like I always am

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u/Suspicious-Call405 — 4 days ago

Contatto fisico in terapia??

19f. Non mi va tanto di andare nei dettagli, ma dirò che sono in terapia da circa 3 mesi e mezzo con uno psicologo di 40 anni con cui non mi trovo male, anche se ho difficoltà ad aprirmi a volte.

Ho condiviso questa cosa da un'altra parte e una persona (italiana) mi ha detto che non le era mai capitato, mentre su parecchi sub in inglese erano TUTTI scandalizzati. Quindi..

In pratica abbiamo fatto delle tecniche di rilassamento gli ultimi 20 minuti della seduta, 2 settimane fa. Prima di farmi sdraiare però, mi ha chiesto "ti da' fastidio se uso il contatto fisico?".. io personalmente non ci ho neanche pensato tanto, ho detto che andava bene, perché comunque non mi sembrava chissà che cosa.

Quindi mi sono sdraiata e mi ha detto di fare respiri profondi. Ha detto che non stavo respirando con il diaframma, ed è stato in quel momento che ha iniziato a usare il pollice/l'indice per premere sul mio addome mentre inspiravo. Inoltre, tremavo TANTISSIMO, perciò ogni tanto sentivo lui che mi stringeva un po' il braccio. Non è andato oltre e non avevo nessuna paura che potesse farlo, le sue intenzioni erano chiare, anche se non mi aveva detto in anticipo cosa avremmo fatto (di preciso).

Mi ha dato fastidio?? No. Ero concentrata su altro. L'imbarazzo c'era, ma io mi vergogno pure di esistere, quindi non era quello il problema. Non mi sentivo in pericolo, anzi: se mi avesse lasciato lì a respirare e basta, con gli occhi chiusi, mi sarei sentita a disagio al pensiero di essere lì mentre lui mi fissava e basta. Quello che stava facendo con le dita mi ha aiutata a stare più tranquilla perché ho pensato, "non mi sta fissando, sta pensando ad altro, non sta giudicando le mie espressioni o altro". Nella mia testa ha senso, anche se non so spiegarlo.

Però sui sub in inglese, mi hanno detto che è un maniaco e che ha oltrepassato il limite. Che ciò che ha fatto è illegale, e che comunque avrebbe dovuto descrivere nel dettaglio l'esercizio e ciò in cui consisteva. Ci sono andati giù pesante, dicendo che "uno psicologo di 40 anni dovrebbe stare attento il doppio quando si tratta di una giovane paziente donna"... e che è inquietante l'idea di un uomo che tocca una ragazza in una stanza chiusa e privata.

È ovvio che mi sono spaventata 😭 non sto giudicando lui, non lo sto etichettando come "maniaco". Però mi sono venuti tanti dubbi perché ho paura di essere effettivamente una persona troppo facile da manipolare, visto che nessuno mi ha mai mostrato supporto emotivo. In un certo senso, da quando gli altri hanno reagito così, mi sento "sporca" per aver permesso a un uomo di fare quelle cose senza interromperlo. Avrei dovuto dirgli di smettere???

Lo so che i commenti online valgono poco, e poi magari gli americani sono un po' troppo sensibili. Però sono comunque un po' scossa, anche se riconosco di avergli dato il mio consenso senza alcun problema

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u/Suspicious-Call405 — 6 days ago

Can't stop scratching/digging into my skin when I'm anxious

(TW for mentions of self harm, i thought it was necessary)

So I'm a 19(f) y.o high school student, people in my country graduate high school at 19 but I'm one year behind

The thing is that when I'm doing oral exams about specific subjects and I can't answer certain questions, things get tough for me because I start tearing up, but I can't stop the tears unless I dig my nails into my skin or scratch at it with them. Digging has been more effective lately. Examples:

  1. I failed to answer a question from my biology teacher last month. I knew she was going to ask me many more questions, but being unable to answer my first one made me spiral quite a bit, and I felt the tears coming.

  2. this Tuesday, the Spanish teacher randomly called on me; I thought I'd done the right homework, but I got half of it wrong, so I basically prepared the wrong material. At first I tried to make it unnoticeable but she found out. When she did, I got teary-eyed, but.. she still accepted the work I had done, and she let me continue. She gave me a pretty good mark, but I was stressed the whole entire time - it was worse than the biology test.

  3. lastly, I vividly remember not getting the grades I wanted in a literature oral exam, and also an English written test. When I got the marks, I was trying really hard not to burst into tears.

These situations made me miserable. I was really digging into my skin hard, and I've found that cutting my nails short and filing them doesn't stop the scratching from happening.

Sometimes I find myself tearing a piece of paper or scribbling hard instead, but only when it's immediate.. in a sense that maybe I already have a pen in my hand. But let's say I have nothing nearby: using my nails on my arms is easier because anything else requires too much effort. It redirects my focus on my tears and it makes the situation worse.

Something softer (like a hairtie, a tissue, whatever) would not work either. If I had something harmless in my hand, like a pen cap, I'd still try to cause pain to myself. I recently tried to tug at my sleeve instead, or tug my hairtie, and it genuinely felt useless. It can't be mild, it has to be sharp.

I'm in therapy and the last session was perfect to bring this up, but I completely forgot. This upcoming week will be even more intense, so I'm writing it down and I hope I remember when I see the therapist again.

(Another thing is that at 9 years old, I knew what self-harming was, and I was going through a LOT tbh. By the time I was 10, I would often try to give myself shallow cuts with scissors. I dont know whether or not it's self-harm, but I definitely WANTED it to be, and.. since I was pretty heavily influenced by the internet, I don't know if it's worth mentioning)

reddit.com
u/Suspicious-Call405 — 7 days ago

Pain is the only way I can manage my anxiety

(TW for mentions of self harm, i thought it was necessary)

I can't stop scratching my arms with my nails, or digging them into my skin, when I'm anxious.

So I'm a 19(f) y.o high school student, people in my country graduate high school at 19 but I'm one year behind

The thing is that when I'm doing oral exams about specific subjects and I can't answer certain questions, things get tough for me because I start tearing up, but I can't stop the tears unless I dig my nails into my skin or scratch at it with them. Digging has been more effective lately. Examples:

  1. I failed to answer a question from my biology teacher last month. I knew she was going to ask me many more questions, but being unable to answer my first one made me spiral quite a bit, and I felt the tears coming.

  2. this Tuesday, the Spanish teacher randomly called on me; I thought I'd done the right homework, but I got half of it wrong, so I basically prepared the wrong material. At first I tried to make it unnoticeable but she found out. When she did, I got teary-eyed, but.. she still accepted the work I had done, and she let me continue. She gave me a pretty good mark, but I was stressed the whole entire time - it was worse than the biology test.

  3. lastly, I vividly remember not getting the grades I wanted in a literature oral exam, and also an English written test. When I got the marks, I was trying really hard not to burst into tears.

These situations made me miserable. I was really digging into my skin hard, and I've found that cutting my nails short and filing them doesn't stop the scratching from happening.

Sometimes I find myself tearing a piece of paper or scribbling hard instead, but only when it's immediate.. in a sense that maybe I already have a pen in my hand. But let's say I have nothing nearby: using my nails on my arms is easier because anything else requires too much effort. It redirects my focus on my tears and it makes the situation worse.

Something softer (like a hairtie, a tissue, whatever) would not work either. If I had something harmless in my hand, like a pen cap, I'd still try to cause pain to myself. I recently tried to tug at my sleeve instead, or tug my hairtie, and it genuinely felt useless. It can't be mild, it has to be sharp.

I'm in therapy and the last session was perfect to bring this up, but I completely forgot. This upcoming week will be even more intense, so I'm writing it down and I hope I remember when I see the therapist again.

(Another thing is that at 9 years old, I knew what self-harming was, and I was going through a LOT tbh. By the time I was 10, I would often try to give myself shallow cuts with scissors. I dont know whether or not it's self-harm, but I definitely WANTED it to be, and.. since I was pretty heavily influenced by the internet, I don't know if it's worth mentioning)

reddit.com
u/Suspicious-Call405 — 7 days ago

Can't stop scratching/digging into my skin when I'm anxious

(TW for mentions of self harm, i thought it was necessary)

So I'm a 19(f) y.o high school student, people in my country graduate high school at 19 but I'm one year behind

The thing is that when I'm doing oral exams about specific subjects and I can't answer certain questions, things get tough for me because I start tearing up, but I can't stop the tears unless I dig my nails into my skin or scratch at it with them. Digging has been more effective lately. Examples:

  1. I failed to answer a question from my biology teacher last month. I knew she was going to ask me many more questions, but being unable to answer my first one made me spiral quite a bit, and I felt the tears coming.

  2. this Tuesday, the Spanish teacher randomly called on me; I thought I'd done the right homework, but I got half of it wrong, so I basically prepared the wrong material. At first I tried to make it unnoticeable but she found out. When she did, I got teary-eyed, but.. she still accepted the work I had done, and she let me continue. She gave me a pretty good mark, but I was stressed the whole entire time - it was worse than the biology test.

  3. lastly, I vividly remember not getting the grades I wanted in a literature oral exam, and also an English written test. When I got the marks, I was trying really hard not to burst into tears.

These situations made me miserable. I was really digging into my skin hard, and I've found that cutting my nails short and filing them doesn't stop the scratching from happening.

Sometimes I find myself tearing a piece of paper or scribbling hard instead, but only when it's immediate.. in a sense that maybe I already have a pen in my hand. But let's say I have nothing nearby: using my nails on my arms is easier because anything else requires too much effort. It redirects my focus on my tears and it makes the situation worse.

Something softer (like a hairtie, a tissue, whatever) would not work either. If I had something harmless in my hand, like a pen cap, I'd still try to cause pain to myself. I recently tried to tug at my sleeve instead, or tug my hairtie, and it genuinely felt useless. It can't be mild, it has to be sharp.

I'm in therapy and the last session was perfect to bring this up, but I completely forgot. This upcoming week will be even more intense, so I'm writing it down and I hope I remember when I see the therapist again.

(Another thing is that at 9 years old, I knew what self-harming was, and I was going through a LOT tbh. By the time I was 10, I would often try to give myself shallow cuts with scissors. I dont know whether or not it's self-harm, but I definitely WANTED it to be, and.. since I was pretty heavily influenced by the internet, I don't know if it's worth mentioning)

reddit.com
u/Suspicious-Call405 — 7 days ago

Can't stop scratching/digging into my skin when I'm anxious

(TW for mentions of self harm, i thought it was necessary)

So I'm a 19(f) y.o high school student, people in my country graduate high school at 19 but I'm one year behind

The thing is that when I'm doing oral exams about specific subjects and I can't answer certain questions, things get tough for me because I start tearing up, but I can't stop the tears unless I dig my nails into my skin or scratch at it with them. Digging has been more effective lately. Examples:

  1. I failed to answer a question from my biology teacher last month. I knew she was going to ask me many more questions, but being unable to answer my first one made me spiral quite a bit, and I felt the tears coming.

  2. this Tuesday, the Spanish teacher randomly called on me; I thought I'd done the right homework, but I got half of it wrong, so I basically prepared the wrong material. At first I tried to make it unnoticeable but she found out. When she did, I got teary-eyed, but.. she still accepted the work I had done, and she let me continue. She gave me a pretty good mark, but I was stressed the whole entire time - it was worse than the biology test.

  3. lastly, I vividly remember not getting the grades I wanted in a literature oral exam, and also an English written test. When I got the marks, I was trying really hard not to burst into tears.

These situations made me miserable. I was really digging into my skin hard, and I've found that cutting my nails short and filing them doesn't stop the scratching from happening.

Sometimes I find myself tearing a piece of paper or scribbling hard instead, but only when it's immediate.. in a sense that maybe I already have a pen in my hand. But let's say I have nothing nearby: using my nails on my arms is easier because anything else requires too much effort. It redirects my focus on my tears and it makes the situation worse.

Something softer (like a hairtie, a tissue, whatever) would not work either. If I had something harmless in my hand, like a pen cap, I'd still try to cause pain to myself. I recently tried to tug at my sleeve instead, or tug my hairtie, and it genuinely felt useless. It can't be mild, it has to be sharp.

I'm in therapy and the last session was perfect to bring this up, but I completely forgot. This upcoming week will be even more intense, so I'm writing it down and I hope I remember when I see the therapist again.

(Another thing is that at 9 years old, I knew what self-harming was, and I was going through a LOT tbh. By the time I was 10, I would often try to give myself shallow cuts with scissors. I dont know whether or not it's self-harm, but I definitely WANTED it to be, and.. since I was pretty heavily influenced by the internet, I don't know if it's worth mentioning)

reddit.com
u/Suspicious-Call405 — 7 days ago

On the verge of pulling for her just for floor 12

Which is funny because that's exactly what Hoyo wants you to do. Even though everyone says Lauma won't do anything useful for my account, because i have BiNeffa + Nahida/Alhaitham, but not Nefer or Nilou.. I can feel her calling to me 💔💔💔

(Context: I have 229 pulls with 50 pity but I'm also on a 50/50, and I wanted to save longterm for Sandrone and Snezhnaya, but I've also wanted Lauma for sooo long)

reddit.com
u/Suspicious-Call405 — 7 days ago

Mixed feelings about my therapist after our last session. I'm spiraling

No point in sharing my whole life story, but.. I'm 19f, have been in therapy since February mostly for anxiety + social phobia and depression (my parents make things worse by being narcissistic hypocrites). And my therapist was always pretty cool even though I struggle to open up sometimes.

I've shared this experience casually on a subreddit in my native language. One person said it never happened to them and I decided to share it on an english-speaking sub, where everyone was absolutely horrified.

Basically: I was already told we'd start doing relaxation techniques, and that's what we did during our last session. Before we started though, he asked me if I was okay with him using physical touch, to which I said it was fine; I just told myself "he's a doctor" and I didn't even feel scared. I didn't think much of it.

He told me to lie down and take deep breaths. The physical touch came when he said I was not breathing with my diaphragm: he started using his thumb/index fingers to press on my abdomen, mostly while I was breathing in. During the whole process, I was shaking like a leaf - my eyes were closed, but I'm pretty sure I looked possessed.. so, I could sometimes feel him (lightly) squeezing my arm to comfort me.

The session ended after those 20 minutes of meditation or whatever it was, and I hadn't felt unsafe. I was feeling embarassed, but I hate being perceived in general, so that's just the norm for me.

But even though some people are saying he should've been clear about everything we were gonna do, others are saying he's a creep. That as a 40 year old man, he should be extremely careful about boundaries with a 19 y.o female patient. Some licensed therapists are saying it's illegal... others are saying they're unsure of what my country is like, but I've noticed most of them are probably from the US, while I'm European.

I'm not pointing fingers at anyone, but this is making me spiral quite a bit. You see, I'm from a family who is against therapy; they've been trying to make me feel like my therapist is a manipulator, because they hate the idea of me venting to someone else.

I believe that the second I'm shown care and support, I am very easy to manipulate. And if I knew my therapist was doing something really bad, whether it was a male or a female, I would be too ashamed to tell anyone.. but I also worry that I may not know what's wrong and what's right.

One of the reasons why I didn't stop him is that I experience embarassment and awkwardness in a very specific way. I managed to fight off the feeling, but I still hate the idea of lying down with my eyes closed while someone else just stares; so the feeling of him pressing on my abdomen made me feel more at ease, as if I felt that his mind was somewhere else, not analyzing my face and expressions. It's hard to explain.

I'm just feeling quite lost, because I truly feel like some people are overreacting, but what if I'm underreacting? Even though I straight up gave him my consent? And I dont even "regret" it or anything. I do not think I'd be able to bring this up to him either, and I'm not sure if I feel the need to do so. I just feel completely neutral until I think about all those concerned comments.

I'm also on edge and little ashamed: what if this isn't normal, how gross or naive am I for not stopping him? And for just letting him do that to me?

I've been stressed and this is not helping

reddit.com
u/Suspicious-Call405 — 8 days ago

Going crazy over my last therapy session

No point in sharing my whole life story, but.. I'm 19f, have been in therapy since February mostly for anxiety + social phobia and depression (my parents make things worse by being narcissistic hypocrites). And my therapist was always pretty cool even though I struggle to open up sometimes.

I've shared this experience casually on a subreddit in my native language. One person said it never happened to them and I decided to share it on an english-speaking sub, where everyone was absolutely horrified.

Basically: I was already told we'd start doing relaxation techniques, and that's what we did during our last session. Before we started though, he asked me if I was okay with him using physical touch, to which I said it was fine; I just told myself "he's a doctor" and I didn't even feel scared. I didn't think much of it.

He told me to lie down and take deep breaths. The physical touch came when he said I was not breathing with my diaphragm: he started using his thumb/index fingers to press on my abdomen, mostly while I was breathing in. During the whole process, I was shaking like a leaf - my eyes were closed, but I'm pretty sure I looked possessed.. so, I could sometimes feel him (lightly) squeezing my arm to comfort me.

The session ended after those 20 minutes of meditation or whatever it was, and I hadn't felt unsafe. I was feeling embarassed, but I hate being perceived in general, so that's just the norm for me.

But even though some people are saying he should've been clear about everything we were gonna do, others are saying he's a creep. That as a 40 year old man, he should be extremely careful about boundaries with a 19 y.o female patient. Some licensed therapists are saying it's illegal... others are saying they're unsure of what my country is like, but I've noticed most of them are probably from the US, while I'm European.

I'm not pointing fingers at anyone, but this is making me spiral quite a bit. You see, I'm from a family who is against therapy; they've been trying to make me feel like my therapist is a manipulator, because they hate the idea of me venting to someone else.

I believe that the second I'm shown care and support, I am very easy to manipulate. And if I knew my therapist was doing something really bad, whether it was a male or a female, I would be too ashamed to tell anyone.. but I also worry that I may not know what's wrong and what's right.

One of the reasons why I didn't stop him is that I experience embarassment and awkwardness in a very specific way. I managed to fight off the feeling, but I still hate the idea of lying down with my eyes closed while someone else just stares; so the feeling of him pressing on my abdomen made me feel more at ease, as if I felt that his mind was somewhere else, not analyzing my face and expressions. It's hard to explain.

I'm just feeling quite lost, because I truly feel like some people are overreacting, but what if I'm underreacting? Even though I straight up gave him my consent? And I dont even "regret" it or anything. I do not think I'd be able to bring this up to him either, and I'm not sure if I feel the need to do so. I just feel completely neutral until I think about all those concerned comments.

I'm also on edge and little ashamed: what if this isn't normal, how gross or naive am I for not stopping him? And for just letting him do that to me?

I've been stressed and this is not helping

reddit.com
u/Suspicious-Call405 — 8 days ago

How long will it take me to farm?

I actually don't play THAT much, i dont have lots of free time, and my resources are pretty bad. For example, I actually have ZERO of her "String" skill materials (and I haven't gotten her weekly boss rewards either)

So I guess I'll prioritize the reactir husk for ascension?? And then I'll see what I can do for her skills, but how much do i need to level up her most important ones?

u/Suspicious-Call405 — 9 days ago

Therapist using touch during relaxation techniques. Is it common?

I'm a 19 year old female. I only started therapy in mid February, although I've been seeing my school therapist for years. My therapist is pretty cool even though I have a hard time opening up sometimes; and he's 40 years old, if that's useful info.

He had already told me we'd start working on relaxation/breathing techniques prior to our last session. So I was simply told to lie down the last 20 mins, but before he did that, he asked me if I was fine with physical touch and if I'd be uncomfortable with him touching me. I said no because frankly, he's a doctor, so what could've gone wrong? That's what I told myself.

He told me to take deep breaths and said i was not breathing with my diaphragm, and I assumed the physical touch was just him guiding me through it so I could do the exercises correctly. I remember him pressing (pretty firmly actually) on my abdomen with his thumb/index, and he was also squeezing my arm occasionally because I was shaking like HELL for some reason.

So I guess the question is, did I feel safe? Yeah. The occasional embarassment about being perceived and just.. existing... was present, but it's common for me. The knowledge that i was safe overpowered the awkwardness.

But I come from a family that does not support therapy. My mom is one of those who say mental health professionals steal money from you and manipulate you into thinking you're depressed. I haven't told them about the session because they would act shocked.

But then again, I talked to other people about it and they were weirded out.. and since I thought I was doing a good job at letting myself be vulnerable, while my family's trying to make me feel unsafe with a professional THEY pay, I just want to know if I should actually be worried or not :(

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u/Suspicious-Call405 — 10 days ago

Therapist using touch during relaxation techniques. Is it common?

I'm a 19 year old female. I only started therapy in mid February, although I've been seeing my school therapist for years. My therapist is pretty cool even though I have a hard time opening up sometimes; and he's 40 years old, if that's useful info.

He had already told me we'd start working on relaxation/breathing techniques prior to our last session. So I was simply told to lie down the last 20 mins, but before he did that, he asked me if I was fine with physical touch and if I'd be uncomfortable with him touching me. I said no because frankly, he's a doctor, so what could've gone wrong? That's what I told myself.

He told me to take deep breaths and said i was not breathing with my diaphragm, and I assumed the physical touch was just him guiding me through it so I could do the exercises correctly. I remember him pressing (pretty firmly actually) on my abdomen with his thumb/index, and he was also squeezing my arm occasionally because I was shaking like HELL for some reason.

So I guess the question is, did I feel safe? Yeah. The occasional embarassment about being perceived and just.. existing... was present, but it's common for me. The knowledge that i was safe overpowered the awkwardness.

But I come from a family that does not support therapy. My mom is one of those who say mental health professionals steal money from you and manipulate you into thinking you're depressed. I haven't told them about the session because they would act shocked.

But then again, I talked to other people about it and they were weirded out.. and since I thought I was doing a good job at letting myself be vulnerable, while my family's trying to make me feel unsafe with a professional THEY pay, I just want to know if I should actually be worried or not :(

reddit.com
u/Suspicious-Call405 — 10 days ago
▲ 5 r/sfoghi

Genitori emotivamente immaturi

Semplice sfogo perché le cose che fanno i miei genitori certe volte mi lasciano senza parole; è assurdo che io non possa dire NIENTE senza che loro abbiano una reazione esagerata.

Diciamo solo che ho 19 anni e ho capito da poco che, nonostante non mi abbiano mai trattato malissimo (fisicamente ad esempio), i miei genitori non sono mai stati capaci di starmi accanto senza farmi sentire un peso o una disgrazia. Ovviamente sono contro la terapia perché gli psicologi rubano i soldi, ma "fanno di tutto per far star bene la figlia", perciò pagano le sedute e mi ci portano in macchina perché con i mezzi non si può andare. Ma comunque non mi supportano: a volte sembra siano felici visto che ho finalmente qualcuno con cui aprirmi, ma in realtà cambiano idea ogni settimana.. un giorno odiano il mio psicologo, ma l'indomani lo rispettano. Tendo a non parlare di questo argomento con loro, perché credo che la terapia abbia creati proprio un muro tra noi, che loro non vogliono "scavalcare" perché gli da' proprio fastidio l'idea che io possa parlare di loro con lo psicologo. Ogni conversazione che abbiamo su questo è imbarazzante e penosa.

La prima volta che ho pianto durante una seduta, mia mamma mi ha chiesto mille volte perché avessi gli occhi rossi. Mi chiedeva cosa mi avesse detto lo psicologo per farmi piangere, dicendo che era preoccupata.. in pratica voleva che dicessi che quell'uomo è un manipolatore. Era un periodo in cui lei lo odiava più di adesso, quindi voleva allontanarmi da lui, insomma voleva che smettessi di sentirmi al sicuro in un ambiente fatto apposta per aiutarmi.

Inoltre ho un piano didattico personalizzato per dislessia, discalculia e robe varie, ma ho dovuto anche fare visite psichiatriche prima della diagnosi.. dunque, sul certificato di scuola c'è scritto anche "disturbo dell'umore e fobia sociale". Quando l'ho ricordato a mia madre ieri, quella è sbiancata. Per quanto è stupida e ignorante, sicuramente ha sentito "fobia ASOCIALE" perché lei ama dire che io non sono timida ma superba e solitaria per scelta mia. Mi ha sempre detto che era introversa anche lei e quindi mi capisce, ma ieri ci teneva a sottolineare che è completamente diversa da me.

E poi un'altra cosa di cui non potrò mai parlare con loro: durante la scorsa seduta in terapia, abbiamo cominciato delle tecniche di rilassamento. Quindi era abbastanza necessario il contatto fisico, ma è ovvio che prima mi ha chiesto se per me fosse un problema. Niente di che, solo lui che cercava di farmi respirare bene con il diaframma e ogni tanto mi consolava perché tremavo tantissimo.

ma vi immaginate la loro reazione se glielo dicessi?? Chiederebbero come mai non mi faccio "toccare da loro" (soffro il solletico ma la prendono sul personale) e invece mi faccio toccare da un uomo 😱 NON SIA MAI che mi faccio aiutare da un PROFESSIONISTA

Non sono independente perché ho una patologia che mi ostacola un bel po', e comunque c'è gente che sta peggio.. ma cazzo se è difficile sopportarli

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u/Suspicious-Call405 — 11 days ago

Emotionally immature parents

Just venting because God, some things about them genuinely leave me soeechless; it's insane how I literally can't tell them ANYTHING without them overreacting. This is just me yapping but someone might kinda relate.

They are against therapy, especially my mom (my dad has no personality), so they pay for the sessions and drive me to them but they don't actually support them. Sometimes you think they're happy I have someone to vent to, but they change their minds every week, always switching between hating and respecting my therapist and our doctor/patient relationship.

This means that after I cried in a session with him for the first time, my mom obsessively asked me why my eyes were red. She would ask me with a concerned tone, and genuinely believed my therapist had done something wrong - which was embarrassing AND unbelievable, because HOW do you not know that therapy is liberating but also intense and hard? How stupid do you have to be? She was trying to get me to admit that he's a scary manipulator because she hated him a lot at the time.

Then.. there's also the fact that I had several evaluations done since December, which revealed that I have some learning disabilities, but not just that. Of course, my school needed those papers to give me accomodations.

Yesterday, I mentioned that one of the papers said I have depression and social phobia... and my mom gasped. With how stupid she is, she probably misheard it as "antisocial phobia" because she's obsessed with the idea that I hate people and I think everyone laughs at me because i'm self-centered. And she likes to view me as a "lone wolf" who hates socializing.. yet she usually compares herself to me because she's shy. She says she understands me, yet here we are; she made it clear that she "is nothing like me". All of this because I brought up a random topic, and because she's an ignorant piece of shit.

And the icing on the cake: I've been thinking about my last therapy session, and about how I'll never be able to tell my parents about it. I was simply asked to lie down and we did relaxation techniques that involved physical touch, just my therapist's fingers on my abdomen to guide diaphragmatic breathing, and him occasionally squeezing my arm because I was shaking like a wet cat.

But... I don't even want to imagine what they'd say if I told them!! Good lord. They would faint and yap about how I "don't let them touch me (I'm ticklish and they take it personally)" and yet I allowed a MAN to put his hands on me 😱😱😱 no way I let myself be physically guided and comforted by a goddamn DOCTOR. It's funny: they would act shocked, yet my pediatrician was a man, and they loved him. Which is proof that they hate my therapist because they can't handle the idea of me venting to others, since it's clear that I vent about my family.

I'm stuck with them because of an invisible disability that keeps me from being 100% independent. I dont know whether I should laugh or cry about this.

Anyway.. thank you all for reading. I objectively struggle less than many people who have it worse, but man is it hard.

reddit.com
u/Suspicious-Call405 — 11 days ago

Emotionally immature parents

Just venting because God, some things about them genuinely leave me soeechless; it's insane how I literally can't tell them ANYTHING without them overreacting. This is just me yapping but someone might kinda relate.

They are against therapy, especially my mom (my dad has no personality), so they pay for the sessions and drive me to them but they don't actually support them. Sometimes you think they're happy I have someone to vent to, but they change their minds every week, always switching between hating and respecting my therapist and our doctor/patient relationship.

This means that after I cried in a session with him for the first time, my mom obsessively asked me why my eyes were red. She would ask me with a concerned tone, and genuinely believed my therapist had done something wrong - which was embarrassing AND unbelievable, because HOW do you not know that therapy is liberating but also intense and hard? How stupid do you have to be? She was trying to get me to admit that he's a scary manipulator because she hated him a lot at the time.

Then.. there's also the fact that I had several evaluations done since December, which revealed that I have some learning disabilities, but not just that. Of course, my school needed those papers to give me accomodations.

Yesterday, I mentioned that one of the papers said I have depression and social phobia... and my mom gasped. With how stupid she is, she probably misheard it as "antisocial phobia" because she's obsessed with the idea that I hate people and I think everyone laughs at me because i'm self-centered. And she likes to view me as a "lone wolf" who hates socializing.. yet she usually compares herself to me because she's shy. She says she understands me, yet here we are; she made it clear that she "is nothing like me". All of this because I brought up a random topic, and because she's an ignorant piece of shit.

And the icing on the cake: I've been thinking about my last therapy session, and about how I'll never be able to tell my parents about it. I was simply asked to lie down and we did relaxation techniques that involved physical touch, just my therapist's fingers on my abdomen to guide diaphragmatic breathing, and him occasionally squeezing my arm because I was shaking like a wet cat.

But... I don't even want to imagine what they'd say if I told them!! Good lord. They would faint and yap about how I "don't let them touch me (I'm ticklish and they take it personally)" and yet I allowed a MAN to put his hands on me 😱😱😱 no way I let myself be physically guided and comforted by a goddamn DOCTOR. It's funny: they would act shocked, yet my pediatrician was a man, and they loved him. Which is proof that they hate my therapist because they can't handle the idea of me venting to others, since it's clear that I vent about my family.

I'm stuck with them because of an invisible disability that keeps me from being 100% independent. I dont know whether I should laugh or cry about this.

Anyway.. thank you all for reading. I objectively struggle less than many people who have it worse, but man is it hard.

reddit.com
u/Suspicious-Call405 — 11 days ago