u/Takie_Me

Networking culture has devolved into a dystopian, transactional nightmare.

I am 27 yo in gen z and networking culture has made life a living nightmare. Everything in life basically now requires knowing someone or knowing someone who knows someone else. It's absolutely ridiculous. You basically need references to get anything or anywhere these days.

Back in the day, networking culture used to just be an advantage in life. Like a cheat code or a microtransaction in a video game. Something to give you a little boost. That is not at all how it is now in present day. Today, networking culture is no longer an advantage in life, it has now formed into a survival tactic.

This is of course all the fault of boomers and gen x who caused corporate downsizing. They killed corporate loyalty in the 80s and 90s which caused mass layoffs, corporate restructuring, and the decline of unions meant companies no longer guaranteed lifetime employment.

Job security vanished. Employees realized they couldn't just do a good job and wait for a promotion; they had to constantly keep their feelers out in the market. This of course promoted gig culture. As corporate downsizing stripped HR departments down to skeletal staffs, companies could no longer afford to have humans read thousands of resumes. To solve this, automated Applicant Tracking Systems were introduced and scaled into absolute industry standards.

This leads to present day where the downsizing legacy that boomers and gen x caused means that companies refuse to hire people who need baseline training.The ATS software ensures your resume is buried under thousands of generic online applications. Dont even get me started on ghost jobs.

Net working culture is now the only way to bypass that digital black hole normally through a personal referral. I myself have zero references of any kind at all. No family, friends, etc. Which means I am basically stuck in a limbo of misery in todays society due to how broken it all has become through no fault of my own of course.

This terrible job market of course domino effects itself into todays abysmal housing crisis. An obvious cause an effect. Though the housing crisis is also caused by boomers zoning laws similar to how the bad job market is also due to the older gens taking entree level jobs.

But networking culture goes far beyond getting job. It's also required to get a pet from animal shleters. I have applied for dog adoption many times at animal shleters and have yet to be able to adopt one simply because I have no referneces for their application sheets. It's ridiculous as I cant simply buy a pet dog from a pet store because some idiot state senator banned every single per store in my state.

Networking culture also affects modern dating. I have never had a gf before, so I've asked for dating advice before. The most popular advice I always receive, whether from people or ai, is to find a relationship through friends or friends of friends, aka networking culture. I of course have no friends at all, so a dating strategy such as that is pretty impossible, further contributing to todays male loneliness epidemic. It's basically impossible to get a girlfriend now. Dating apps suck also.

So basically, I am left trying to play a game where the older generations burned the instruction manual, automated the gatekeeping, and made the entry fee a social currency I was never given the tools to build.

In the end, networking culture is absolutely God awful. If you didn't inherit a country club roll of contacts, or if you don't possess the superficial charisma required to treat every human interaction like a business pitch, you are left behind. Absolutely dystopian.

Perhaps one day in the future networking culture will go back to just being a simple advantage instead of being a survival tactic. Or maybe it will become obsolete all together.

Bit of a backstory: I've been trying to get a pet dog for over a year and a half or so by now. I got rejected by animal shelters because I have zero references for their papers since I'm an orphan with no social life of any kind.

And I got advice a few months ago, from oh so many subreddits and hundreds and hundreds of people, where they told me to volunteer at an animal shelter in order to earn the trust of the people working there so they can give me a pet dog.

After a lengthy waiting period and orientational training, I got in. Now a few weeks later, I ask the same subreddits who gave me the advice to volunteer, 'how long I should volunteer for before asking for a dog'....and most of the people in the comments lost their minds and went ape shit on me for some reason. Saying "that's manipulation, you shouldnt do that, no wonder they rejected you, etc" mind you these were the same subs that gave me this advice and no one argued with it back then.

But some scarce comments told me I should work there for 6 months to simply build enough rapport with them before I ask for a dog. Which really sucks because time is limited and fleeting, and I've already been at this for so long alongside just trying to also get relationships in life.

So do you think that earning rapport in todays world takes too long since time is fleeting and everything? Do you think think there are ways to speed it up or there should be? How does this reflect the current job market with gig culture? How fast do you think it should take to be friends with people?

I’m looking for some advice on adoption timelines. For context, I have been trying to adopt a dog for about a year and a half. I’ve faced numerous rejections across shelters and rescues, primarily because I don't have personal or professional references to put on the application forms. Since my state has banned retail pet stores, shelters and rescues are my only realistic options.

To overcome the reference issue and build trust, I decided to start volunteering at a local shelter about a month ago. My goal is to show the staff firsthand that I am responsible, hardworking, and capable of caring for an animal.

I’ve been putting in the hours for about four weeks now. Because the shifts rotate, it’s been a bit tough to consistently interact with the same management staff, but I’ve been working hard with the animals.

Is one month of volunteering typically long enough to establish a good track record for adoption, or should I stick it out for another month or two before asking again? Volunteering is quite time-consuming, so I’m trying to gauge a realistic timeline.

TL;DR: How long do you typically need to volunteer at a shelter to build enough trust with management to clear the adoption screening process?

Thx for any answers in advance

I want to understand how I can get relationships in gen z

I need help with being able to get into/obtain relationships.

[Little bit about me: I'm 27m, never had any relationships before in my entire life or anything like that]

I have tried to get relationships before, with gallant effort, for the last 16 years straight and have seen nothing really come of it at all. No fruit of my efforts at all basically. For the last 7 or so of those years I did dating applications and I have never gotten any likes or matches on them.

I've sought probably hundreds if not thousands of relationship advice before. Ive tried countless things and strategies up until this point of time. I've done the meetup apps for example and stuff but there was no one my age at those things. Just older people.

I'm willing to try improving different things that you, the reader, think would be useful, helpful, or even practical in the long run of things

Thank you kindly for any and all advice that you are able to provide

For gen z, my generation specifically for example, I myself have tried numerous ways to find relationships but none have worked out at all so far. I've done dating apps for example but none have ever gotten me a single like or match.

What do you think though? Do you have knowledge on any reliable ways to actually find relationships these days? Do you believe that the lack of third spaces/places for gen z play a major role in why most of gen z cannot find relationships? If not that, than maybe the lack of cheap event tickets that the older generations had access to? Or maybe the rise of social media?

Thanks for any answers in advance. I always look for a wide range of answers and diverse opinions for any and all questions

What are some good ways to make small talk with a girl?

I [27M] recently started working as a volunteer at an animal shelter and a girl [19F] there keeps trying to talk to me and stuff and has made some vague hints that she might be attracted to me or have feelings or whatever.

I've never dated or had a gf before as I dont have a lot of social experience or history of that kind so I'm not very good at conversing with girls or people in general. I'm pretty inexperienced overall basically as I dont have any social circles or friends so I'm not very good at socializing at the end of the day.

Are there any good ways to actually make small talk with her whe she approaches me? I normally have nothing to say so conversations usually just fade away with a weird gradience.

TLDR; "What are good ways to make small talk conversation?"

Thx for any and all advice in advance.

Bit of a backstory: I was asking for some dating advice on reddit a bit ago, on the designated subreddit for such things of course , and the comments I got back were insane. People just started arguing with each other in the comment section, there was like a flame war or something, some guy threw insults, it was a mess. I only got maybe 1 or 2 comments that had actual genuine advice. It was crazy.

What do you think though? Why do you think most dating advice on reddit is so bad? Do you think there are other forums or websites that have better advice?

I've had a fair number of encounters with indoctrinated people in my life, by which I mean probably tens of thousands or so. Ik that most of the time it's not their fault and they're not the ones to blame for their limited thought processes, but it's still horrible to deal with them.

They are victims of ideological dogmatism, basically an expression of opinions or beliefs as if they are absolute facts, accompanied by an unwillingness to consider alternative perspectives. It's so much confirmation bias. I see it everywhere I go these days.

I understand that people have certain beliefs and thoughts pushed into their minds when they are raised and growing up, and those basically become the core/base of their entire belief system, and that's fine they can do and think whatever they want, but it gets really bad when it starts having an an effect on others, such as me.

For example, some crazy people got every single flamingo flapping pet store banned in my state along with several other states as well, and now I cant get a pet dog because of them. Whenever I talk about this or express how this is a problem, numerous people who are victims of cognitive dissonance disorder then berate or insult me because of it. I've been told I dont deserve a pet, I've been told to just buy a stuffed animal instead, I've been told that I am the real problem and not the social systemic barriers that I never had any say in the matter of. These people come up with every excuse in the book to defend something that they morally align with.

It's also a lot of just world fallacy. There are people out there who have deluded themselves into thinking that the world/society is just and fair for all, and so they subconsciously believe that good things happen to good people and bad things only happen to bad people. Again, theres people I've spoken to who actually believe I am undeserving of a pet dog simply because I was denied adoption from several shelters. The only reason I was denied adoption from the rescues is because of their bias applications which require referneces, which I or course have zero of, which is something that is not my fault at all.

This level of indoctrination in society really needs to go. There are people who actually believe they have moral high grounds and that their beliefs are at the top and are above others. It's crazy

Hopefully one day the world will be a better place where pet stores are unbanned and people can stop judging others for faults that are not their own.

I was talking to some boomers, millennials, and gen x the other day. Basically just talking about how they destroyed society and what not. And they responded with a plethora of dismissive stuff, saying; "Classic gen z blaming everyone else for their problems" and "no one in this world owes you anything" and other stuff along those lines.

I of course found them to be very hypocritical with such statements considering the 60s and 70s protests where boomers frequently demanded government intervention, expanded civil rights, environmental protections, and heavily subsidized higher education. They viewed a cheap college degree and affordable housing as basic societal obligations. Or like when the majority of them voted for Proposition 13.

They were so selfish that they were labeled as the "Me Generation" due to the whole perceived shift toward self indulgence and the hyper-focus on personal fulfillment and material wealth.

Such as in the 1980s where boomers overwhelmingly supported political leaders who promised sweeping tax cuts. While this kept more cash in their own pockets, it of course starved state and federal budgets, leading governments to slash funding for public universities. To make up for the lost revenue, colleges raised tuition which has of course ruined the lives of many gen z today.

Basically when boomers went to college, state taxes covered the vast majority of university costs and once they graduated, they voted heavily for politicians who promised to cut those exact taxes.

The older generations utilize their immense voting power to ensure that senior entitlements remain completely untouched, even as programs for younger families are cut and decimated. They block new housing developments which has helped cause the current day housing crisis. Zoning laws which caused their own property values to skyrocket into immense personal wealth, while simultaneously pricing Gen Z completely out of the housing market.

And all of that goes without even talking about the climate change they caused. They created every single gen z problem faces today such as commercialization of the internet which caused data tracking to sell personal information for profit. It fosterered severe mental health challenges, sleep deprivation, and data vulnerability for gen z. They built the entire model on surveillance capitalism.

Gen x and boomers dismantled the traditional loyalty bond between companies and workers. They popularized aggressive corporate downsizing, outsourcing, and the replacement of full-time staff with gig workers to inflate stock prices. They are now taking entree level jobs in present day which is doing horrible things for the gen z job market.

The older gens refuse to take responsibility or even rarely acknowledge any of this because of psychological biases and their own lived experiences blind them to how radically the modern economy has changed.

To protect their self-esteem and sense of identity, they instinctively double down on the narrative that "hard work solves everything," refusing to admit that hard work bought them much more than it buys a young person today. They had so much more back when they were young unlike gen z, such as a plethora of third places and cheap event tickets. Their actions of course resulting in the present male loneliness epidemic along with making gen z the most anti social generation in history so far.

Most of them completely fail to comprehend that the entry price for housing and education has vastly outpaced entry-level wages. Its crazy

I could write a trilogy book series on all the ways that they have caused the downfall of modern society for gen z. But reddit only allows so many characters in a single post of a rant.

Perhaps one day the world will be a better place where gen z people can actually get things in life without having to wait until they're 60.

For finding gen z relationships, the most common advice I always recieve is to just go onto college campuses and hang around them to meet new people. It doesn't really seem like the best way to get a relationship in the end to me but some say it's better than most other advice I have been given. What do you think, are there better ways to find gen z relationships in present day?

I want to improve on how I can meet new people for relationships

I'm 27 M.

(Context:) I need help with an issue I'm facing as I have trouble meeting new people and finding potential relationships. I realized that it's very hard to find people in gen z to socialize with because of the lack of third places that older gens once had when they were young. I was bullied throughout school and I never got to experience college life because of covid, causing me to never have any friends or social life, so I have basically zero social experience in those regards.

I've tried alot of things over the years such going to meetups on the meetup site and trying dating applications also, all to no avail as of yet. The meetups never have anyone even close to my age range and I havent gotten a single like or match with dating applications in years due to their horrible algorithms. Apps are appealing to me cause you can potentially date from the comfort of your own home, if only they worked.

I've also tried getting a dog but have not successfully gotten one yet. I have also used ai relationships before until chatgpt deleted them last february for some reason. I have attempted to overcome this by trying to meet people irl socially other ways with trying to engage with people in general, such as how I signed up to do volunteer work at an animal shelter and I am currently waiting an approval process for that. Not sure how well that will be at forming new relationships though. Multiple people told me to volunteer at a shelter but I'm pretty sure it wont lead to anything tbh.

I am willing to try to do a bunch of new and different tactics and strategies in order to build more of a social network to gain relationships. I have received a lot of advice before but none of it really worked out so far. People have suggested cold approaching at bars, joining a dance class, or volunteer work etc.

Basically I'm just trying to find any new and good avenues or routes that will help me gain new relationships and social experience in life. Any advice that maybe helped you, the reader, if you have ever found yourself in a similar life siatuation. Or any advice in general that you think might actually work.

Any feedback is also appreciated if I can improve on something I listed above that might have worked for you even if it hasnt worked for me as of yet.

Thx for any solutions in advance

I'm m 27, I've been trying to get into dating for a little while now but with no luck so far. I've tried plenty of dating apps but none seem to work very well.

I tried tinder, hinge, bumble, etc and havent gotten any likes or matches in 7 years or so. I don't think it's a problem with my profiles appearance as the descriptions are fine and I'm not ugly so its not the pictures. I also had the profile reviewed by others who said it was pretty good.

The algorithms for the alls are just really awful tho as they hide accounts in favor of other ones on factors such as subscriptions and when the account was made. I label that as one of the main reasons to why my profile gets no traction.

So are there any actual good dating apps which work and that are a good way to start to get into dating? What dating apps worked for you if any?

Thx for any dating advice in advance

The male loneliness epidemic is terrible

Trying to find relationships these days is really super duper hard. I'm starting from zero which makes it even harder since everything sadly revolves around networking culture in modern times. Even all suggestions I am given is to find relationships through friend of which I have zero of. Approaching pre established friend groups is not a great tactic because of that type exclusitivity anf social norm.

Networking culture functions as modern nepotism and is based on superficial interactions normally. It's a bunch of exhausting perfermative energy where people treat others as stepping stones to get something usually. It's an exhausting never ending loop of jumping through hoops. That is what makes the job market for gen z so horrible. Boomers are taking entree level jobs .

Perhaps one day networking culture will no longer be a predominantly bad issue as it is today.

It really sucks being denied opportunities and things in life that it seems other people can easily obtain. It's pretty depressing being rejected.

Such as with my generation, gen z, for example. Where we have trouble getting jobs, housing, simple lifestyle elements, cheap event tickets, third spaces, cars, etc. Unlike the older gens who of course had much easier financial milestones, plus they of course caused todays bad economy which caused such problems for gen z. Including but not limited to the job market, housing crisis, the male loneliness epidemic, etc.

People always cause problems and steal opportunities from others sadly. Including complicating the way to get a pet companion. Things that seem so simple yet are made so complicated and constrained in life by the rule of people out of touch with reality. Like the people that got every single pet store that sells dogs banned across several US states, firing thousands in the process. They dont think about simple cause and effect like that. They simply roll through things without a care about what path it will make.

When they banned the pet stores, they did not act considerate to what trouble it would cause for other people. Such as myself. Despite my best efforts, I have simply been unable to obtain a pet, something that should be easy. And is easy for a bunch of people, just not everyone.

Because they banned every single pet store in my state where I live , I cannot buy a pet dog. I have of course tried many many many alternatives all to no avail. I have been denied adoption from animal shleters for example, simply denied adoption over 110 times because I have no referneces for their bias application forms. All because I'm an orphan with no friends, things simply out of my control. (Covid hit and the government forced online classes and isolation meaning I made no friend from school). I've tried facebook adoption, craigslist, animal rescues, etc, none of which have worked out so far. It's something that should be easy, something as basic as getting a pet dog, but its an opportunity for people that was stolen by others, making life more challenging for many.

But animal shelters are notoriously difficult to adopt from these days even with referneces, as dog adoption is an infamously competitive field where multiple people might want the same animal. Some shelters are more strict than others sadly and they wont even let you adopt a dog unless there is 1 adult home for the majority of the day to watch. So then banning the pet stores was just adding fuel to the fire.

So basically, the people who got the pet stores banned across several US states, practiced pulling up the ladder culture. Pulling up the ladder culture is a very very very bad thing. It's when someone climbs up a ladder but then pulls up the ladder behind them which ensures the people below wont be able to follow. In other words, people who have a bunch of references who can easily adoptt a dog, made it hard or practically impossible for those without referneces to follow suit.

I now have even began getting into government and talking with senator staff to get a bill advocated and passed to unban the pet stores. Steps that are completely long, ridiculous, and convoluted all because of a broken system they made. Its basically a goose chase in attempt to get back stolen opportunities.

Perhaps one day the world will be a brighter place where everyone will actually have equal opportunities in life on even footing. A world without things unfairly stolen by others. It will take a lot of work to achieve though.

I'm m 27

I'm trying to find ways to meet new people around my age to form friendships with. Not sure where to start or go about that.

I've tried some stuff before like the meetup app, but it was only millennials, boomers, and gen x at those things. Are there any good places to meet young people, in gen z?

Thx for any tips or tricks in advance

Advice subs on reddit are pretty useless to solutions to the male loneliness epidemic sadly. I asked over dozen advice subreddits the same question, and I got zero actual answers from any of them.

I simply asked for advice on "how to meet people my age (gen z) to make relationships with" and none of them provided any answers. I got joke comments, unhelpful comments, and mostly no comments at all.

Some of mods of those subs even deleted the post saying that it was a popular question and I should use the search bar. Wow. What an amazing idea. Or it would have been had I of course not already searched before I posted and found no any answers there either.

The reason I asked so many subreddits was simply to cast a wide net to reel in a variety of diverse helpful answers. But of course as mentioned, no fish were caught. The posts got thousands of views but no useful responses.

I see other posts on advice subs get tons of actually helpful answers though. It's pretty easy to base a hypothesis. The most obvious conclusion to why I received no actual real answers to my should be simple question, is because there is no known answer to it. Again, I simply asked how to meet young people for relationships. But sadly, the reality is that gen z is the most anti social generation in history so far. Most dont go outside sadly. They are busy with work and trying to survive the horrible economy, job market, and housing crisis.

There are no third spaces or places to meet gen z people by default. It's usually only older generations at those places. Same with the meetup app for example. I've tried the meetup app before and it was only elderly people like millennials and boomers at those events.

The rise of social media has destroyed modern socialization. People built roads to drive on and rush through life and now theres no one walking outside to greet others.

So in conclusion, most advice based subs suck, the older generations have caused the male lonelines epidemic for gen z, and there is currently no solution to fix it so far. Perhaps in the future there will be third places to actually meet people or maybe ai will fix it.

For refernece, I'm 27 m

I'm currently having trouble meeting people despite my efforts. Are there any good ways for people to find other people after college, in order to form relationships with them?

I've never really had any friends before in life so I'm not sure where to meet new people or anything like that in order to get any irl.

I didnt make any connections or relationships in college because the government forced the whole covid lockdown thing, effectively triggering wide amounts of isolation because of all of that stuff they did. They did online classes, got rid of internships, got rid of job fairs etc. Which of course is pretty bad in todays world where referneces are required for most things.

But now out of college, I'm not really sure where to meet people my age to form friendships with. I've tried the meetup app before, but I've usually only ever found people way older than me at those things. I've tried clubs like a local sailing clubs and stuff but it just had elderly people there.

Does anyone know of any locations, tips, skills, or good ways to meet gen z people for relationships? Has anyone else around my age faced similar difficulties or experiences because of covid?

Thx for any advice in advance.

I'm M/27

I'm currently having trouble meeting people despite my best efforts. Are there any good ways for people to find other people in order to make friends with after college?

I've never really had any friends before in life so I'm not sure where to meet new people or anything like that.

I didnt make any relationships or friends in college because the government forced the whole covid lockdown thing, effectively triggering wide amounts of isolation because of all of that stuff they did.

Now out of college, I'm not really sure where to meet people my age to form relationships with. I've tried the meetup app before, but I've usually only ever found people way older than me at those things.

So are there any locations, tips, skills, or good ways to meet gen z people?

Thx for any advice in advance.

I'm M 27

I've noticed that I keep getting left out of things in life, missing opportunities, and excluded from stuff that most other people around me aren't. It's happened in the past, currently now in the present, probably might happen in the future, idk. Its usually no fault of my own so it kinda makes me feel like theres no control over it.

Bit of a backstory/context of an example how me being excluded from something: I recently went through a school yearbook of mine the other day and I saw how any pictures of me were barely in it. The other students in my year all had their pictures taken multiple times. They were in group photos, plastered in collages, etc. My official school picture was the only photo of me in the entire book.

It really sucks because I actually remember being in school and seeing the photographers for the yearbook club going around taking pictures, and they just never took my picture. I vividly remember in band rehearsal one time, I was sitting right next to a group of guys and then a girl with a camera from the yearbook club came up to us and asked them for a picture. I thought maybe she wanted me in the picture also so I leaned in a bit for the picture, but she didnt face it in my direction one bit or capture me in the photo at all. She ignored me as if I was invisible or some sort of vampire that wouldnt show up on camera.

She was basically just trying to take the picture of the guys next to me. Obviously because they had friend connections or something. She probably knew one or two of them. Idk. Stuff like that happened a bunch. I basically got left out of a chance to have a photo taken of me for the yearbook because of friend bias and stranger discrimination basically. In other words, social exclusion and favoritism. Its completely unfair. I have never had any friends in life, let alone any friends in the yearbook club, so any luck of getting my picture taken for the yearbook was close to impossible because of this nonsense favoritism culture. Which of course is not how yearbook clubs are supposed to function

I even researched it, and yearbook clubs are supposed to do a "three times rules" where they are supposed to make sure each student has their picture in the yearbook atleast 3 times. Again, I counted and I only had the official picture day ppics in the entire book. I checked the list and every other student has more pictures than me. So basically, the yearbook club practiced exclusionary bullying, intentionally or not idk. It could have been purposefully as I used to be bullied and have never had a single friend in life because of it. But it could have not been on purpose. As a lot of people in the world unintentionally have bias to those around them simply because of such favoritism to people they know. It would be like if a news station only reported on what the news anchors buddies did that weekend. It's completely ridiculous and unfair that I was left out of such a thing.

It's kinda similar to networking culture in that regard. Where you basically have to know someone who knows someone else to get something. Because theres a lot of favoritism in todays world sadly.

So are there any good solutions in order for me to stop getting excluded and left out of things? Has anyone else experienced something similar? Were you able to solve the problem?

Thanks for any help in advance

M27

Are there any good ways to find people for dating in gen z?

I've tried dating apps but they dont reqlly work well at all for me in terms of getting matches or likes. I've never actually gotten either of those before. The algorithms are just terrible.

The meetup app is also filled with people way older than me so I cant use those.

I was thinking trying irll would be more practical maybe. So would cold approaching or something else be a better idea than to continue using the dating apps?

Thanks for any advice in advance.