AITA for trying to break up my sister's relationship?
I (22f) recently got into an argument with my sister
(27f) because of her boyfriend (25m).
For context, my sister (who I'll call Jane) and her boyfriend (who I'll call Bob) work together. They started dating earlier this year in February, but had apparently had massive workplace crushes on each other for the past 6 years.
Now, around January, before they started dating Bob slept with one of my sister's coworkers (I'll call her Ally). Ally isn't just some random woman either. My sister and Ally are close friends, occasionally having sleepovers, lunch, and meeting up for dinner together. My family knows Ally and we love her.
Now Ally is pregnant (due next month) and she claims the baby is Bob's but Bob has been denying this so hard. Management caught whiff of the rumors and the office tensions and eventually called Ally in for questioning. However, she skipped this meeting.
Instead, she apparently confided in a supervisor who she's close too about what happened. Since then, this particular supervisor has been noticeably passive aggressive towards Jane at work. And honestly, that's when it's started getting annoyed with Jane.
She knows everything that's going on, but she still doesn't want to leave Bob. Her position is basically that if the baby is his, than fine she accepts that, but she wants him to take responsibility for his child.She's basically saying that the paternity needs to be established first and that if the baby is his, then he needs to step up.
Which, obviously, I agree with in principle. If the baby is his, then he should take responsibility.
The problem is that Bob doesn't seem to agree at all. He keeps denying that the baby is his and has even said that even if the child is his, he want nothing to do with it.
That was the thing that got to me. I ended up arguing with Jane because how can she, in my opinion, see this side of a man and still want to be with him?
I argued with her, telling her that she's looking at this as if the only issue is whether or not Bob has a child. But if the baby is his, this isn't just some technicality. This is a whole person he's potentially choosing to walk away from. And evenif the baby isn't his, I still don't think this whole situation is something she should just brush aside. He slept with someone she was close to, that woman is now pregnant, they're all working together, and the situation has already started affecting my sister at work.
I told her I wouldn't sugarcoat anything and that I think she should break up with him or atleast leave him to sort out his mess.
Jane thinks I'm judging her relationship and says that ultimately it's her choice whether she stays with Bob. Technically, she's right...but I can't help feeling like I'm watching my sister knowingly walk into a giant mess.
So now I'm wondering if I actually am the asshole here. Am I overstepping by telling my sister that I don't think she should stay with him or is she ignoring some pretty obvious red flags?