u/TheSolitaryRugosan

I’m an undergraduate geology student visiting Denver for a conference. You’d think I be smarter than this.

I was walking back to my hotel across the street when a man in a tuxedo approaches me and gives a sob-story about being out of gas and needing to see his daughter in Colorado Springs. He claimed that he had just came from the conference but lost his badge. He even pointed to a grey vehicle which he claimed was his.

He showed me a business card for a company related to environmental science. The man on the business card looked loosely similar to him, so I believed it.

In that moment I believed him. I thought he was a geologist like me needing help getting home. He claimed he needed $20 for gas, then somewhere in the conversation changed it to $40.

I don’t know how I fell for this. I’m under more stress than I’ve ever been in my entire life and scatterbrained to hell so I’m not thinking clearly apparently. I normally wouldn’t fall for something this obvious but I did.

For some reason I thought that the hotel that I was staying in was the one we entered, so I stupidly spent 15-25 minutes trying to use the elevator to get to my room only to realize I was in the wrong hotel.

That’s when I headed downstairs only to find him telling another person the same sob-story. This person also gave him money. I feel like I’m getting stupider by the day. I don’t know why I fell for this. I honestly deserved it because of how fucking obvious it was. I am an utter fool.

Burnout Revenge nostalgia aside… why wasn’t this song on Vheissu? It’s one of Thrice’s best songs in my opinion and very much fits with the overarching theme of the album.

I don’t know why it was axed. It’s so good.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about the state of my life and where I want to be.

I’ll give a bit of a background. I’m in my senior year at university going for my bachelors in geology. Currently doing research on an interval in the upper Ordovician and presenting our findings via poster in the fall at a large conference. I am deeply passionate about geology - it’s my entire life. I am a part of many different local science organizations and a club officer in one. As well, I am the field trip coordinator for my university’s geology club. Alongside this, I manage and curate the university fossil collection. My current internship primarily deals with environmental geology but my heart is in stratigraphy, sedimentary geology and paleontology.

With that said, I sometimes feel like I’m not nearly intelligent enough to pursue this science. I can’t do math very well, I’m not great at chemistry and I have awful brain fog due to multiple different conditions. I worry that my research is subpar compared to other undergraduates and will largely be dismissed when it comes time to publish. My grades are fine. I made straight A’s last semester but I fear that it’s only out of dumb luck. I worry about what will happen when I get to grad school.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? If so, how exactly did you handle it? Did you decide to keep pushing forward or call it quits?

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about the state of my life and where I want to be.

I’ll give a bit of a background. I’m in my senior year at university going for my bachelors in geology. Currently doing research on an interval in the upper Ordovician and presenting our findings via poster in the fall at a large conference. I am deeply passionate about geology - it’s my entire life. I am a part of many different local science organizations and a club officer in one. As well, I am the field trip coordinator for my university’s geology club. Alongside this, I manage and curate the university fossil collection. My current internship primarily deals with environmental geology but my heart is in stratigraphy, sedimentary geology and paleontology.

With that said, I sometimes feel like I’m not nearly intelligent enough to pursue this science. I can’t do math very well, I’m not great at chemistry and I have awful brain fog due to multiple different conditions. I worry that my research is subpar compared to other undergraduates and will largely be dismissed when it comes time to publish. My grades are fine. I made straight A’s last semester but I fear that it’s only out of dumb luck. I worry about what will happen when I get to grad school. I feel like I may be intellectually behind most people however I’ve never formally taken an IQ test.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? If so, how exactly did you handle it? Did you decide to keep pushing forward or call it quits?

I’ve been on a variety of SSRIs since I was 8. I decided to go cold turkey on Prozac which I’ve been on since 18.

Why? Because I wanted to cry. I wanted to feel real emotions. As well, it made me feel exhausted constantly. I felt like I was far too reliant on my SSRI as I still had horrific OCD flares and the medication only lessened the intensity, it never actually stopped the thoughts. I was also just curious about my true self and how I would be without SSRIs.

However, months later I am now faced with constant crippling anxiety and extreme OCD flareups. I’ve been able to somehow power through but I hit maybe one of the deepest depressions I’ve ever been in last month. I still have my moments now.

Alongside this, I began experiencing flu-like symptoms such as body aches, headaches, and general malaise. These symptoms are still somewhat persistent.

Is there anything I can do (and no, I don’t want to try another SSRI)? Does this eventually fade? Is there a term for what I’m experiencing?

I’ve been on a variety of SSRIs since I was 8. I decided to go cold turkey on Prozac which I’ve been on since 18.

Why? Because I wanted to cry. I wanted to feel real emotions. As well, it made me feel exhausted constantly. I felt like I was far too reliant on my SSRI as I still had horrific OCD flares and the medication only lessened the intensity, it never actually stopped the thoughts.

However, months later I am now faced with constant crippling anxiety and extreme OCD flareups. I’ve been able to somehow power through but I hit maybe one of the deepest depressions I’ve ever been in last month. I still have my moments now.

Alongside this, I began experiencing flu-like symptoms such as body aches, headaches, and general malaise. These symptoms are still somewhat persistent.

Is there anything I can do (and no, I don’t want to try another SSRI)? Does this eventually fade? Is there a term for what I’m experiencing?

I’ve been on a variety of SSRIs since I was 8. I decided to go cold turkey on Prozac which I’ve been on since 18.

Why? Because I wanted to cry. I wanted to feel real emotions. As well, it made me feel exhausted constantly. I felt like I was far too reliant on my SSRI as I still had horrific OCD flares and the medication only lessened the intensity, it never actually stopped the thoughts.

However, months later I am now faced with constant crippling anxiety and extreme OCD flareups. I’ve been able to somehow power through but I hit maybe one of the deepest depressions I’ve ever been in last month. I still have my moments now.

Alongside this, I began experiencing flu-like symptoms such as body aches, headaches, and general malaise. These symptoms are still somewhat persistent.

Is there anything I can do (and no, I don’t want to try another SSRI)? Does this eventually fade? Is there a term for what I’m experiencing?