u/Thecreativebraincell

I understand wanting to blame your brain for the things you do, feeling like your feelings are making you do things and it's not you responding to them badly

I relate to him wanting to stay in the backrooms because he doesn't have to face the outside world or any real people or any of the problems he's caused or hardships he still struggles with

And that's terrifying. Because he's what would probably happen if I did let those thoughts consume me, that it's just the way I'm made and running away and isolating myself would make it worse, and possibly make me hurt people if they tried to help because I'm past wanting to be helped, or even ultimately myself

Excellent psychological horror, feels incredibly real and also a little bit of a confirmation that I'm getting better as a person

Yeah sure Andrew is a selfish perv, and so many characters have their things that make them unlikable sometimes, but something I CANNOT STAND as an older sibling that's been through the song and dance at least twice (thank god my other two siblings aren't quite old enough to be like that) Nick is a spoiled little bratty bitch.

If it's one thing I can't stand it's people who get everything they want and are still miserable for literally no reason at all. I love the hate worm arc, but even for someone who became an internet troll even Missy realized Nick's hate is wildly unreasonable. Sure maybe Missy went too far but she was valid in disliking Jessi for taking over her plans, but Nick is literally just a whiney little baby and he's so difficult to watch. Even after the Nick Starr arc he STILL doesn't learn shit. I know he's just a cartoon character but even on a second watch of the show (I'm on season 5 now) he remains my most hated character

And Caleb is my favorite, we love Caleb

Just for reference, I used to run away as a kid, and if I couldn't I would just scream. I used to be afraid of any needles going into my body at all, even basic injections that just took two seconds. Though I have since relaxed about regular vaccines as long as I can't see the preparation or it going into my arm

Though I'm still HEAVILY terrified of things like IV's and blood work getting done, basically into more sensitive areas like the joints rather than a thicker, softer area like the shoulders or thighs.

How do I distract myself from this? And the usual "Oh just don't look" or "imagine a comforting place" doesn't really work for me. I have ADHD, and more unhinged or nonsensical tricks work on me, and again, debilitating anxiety sort of overrides every other thought I have.

I had a dream, just one dream one time that my very small cat got outside and got hit by a UPS truck right in front of me. It was extremely disturbing and upsetting and I woke up desperately looking for said cat (he was okay and got many kisses)

But I had this dream just once back in May, so nearly two months later it causes very intense distress and fear if I can't find him soon enough. I haven't had this much fear about this happening before. Yes it was always a concern but ever since that one dream it just causes a lot of distress, and fear, and intense anxiety around leaving the door open

That is all, I just needed to express this because it made me incredibly upset and still does

For Simon, him losing himself was for survival. If the war didn't happen he probably would've stopped wearing the crown and put it away forever before he completely lost it but of course, the war changed things

But Betty jumped across time and space, driving herself mad FOR Simon, even if he never asked her to, and actively tried to fix someone who didn't exist anymore, being frustrated that he didn't remember her.

She didn't have to make the first move, she didn't have to go with him. She literally gave up an entire future she planned just for someone she probably didn't even know for at least a year. She destroyed herself for a person she believed still existed, everything she did was her choice

I don't have them for the reasons Glam does but letting a character have something that's more difficult to look at and have other characters acknowledge (like scars) feels like really good representation

He didn't get them from a badass accident or a fight or anything like that, nothing "cool". He got them from something deeply personal that still hurts him to talk about, and when he tells Victoria not to worry about it she doesn't press him for it, whether because she knows it will hurt him or she's not too worried about it as they're healed now. It actually made me cry

I wonder if he'll ever share his backstory with his family, and I know Victoria would be absolutely devastated/enraged if he ever does. Also probably acknowledging how he seems a little harsher on Dee because he takes more after Glam, and as a result looks a bit like his own father, or maybe Dee already knows something like that but not the full extent

It's not really that serious but I hate when the intro is maybe about a minute or more long, and especially when the tone doesn't shift when the lyrics start so I look stupid missing the cue and singing too early 😭

Edit: Thanks for the examples lol, kinda gave me a few new things to get into music wise.

This is not a "You're not a real woman" or "You're weird and gross for wanting it" post. It's a "You REALLY don't want this and here's why" post. Additionally, it's not the same thing as wanting breasts/no breasts, a dick, or a vagina to feel more feminine or masculine, because it's not just about aesthetic choices or what would feel better for sex. It's a genuine medical issue that doesn't get enough care.

I'm not trying to hate them, or say they're not woman, but a period isn't a proud womanly feeling. I find it weird to desire it or enjoy having similar symptoms due to being on estrogen because it "makes you feel like a woman". Because it's a hellish miserable experience unless you're lucky enough to not have things like painful cramps, or to just not be bothered by it at all.

1. as a trans man it's extremely dysphoric for me so making it seem like an ethereal womanly experience is just, ehh.

2. you only get the hormonal parts like mood swings, some cramps (not the same caused by the uterus itself), being too hot or too cold, breast tenderness, bloating etc. You don't get the bleeding, the debilitating cramps from the uterus that can cause some people to be bedridden or even hospitalized, or the complications of it being so intense that it causes things like iron deficiency, other uterus related complications, or death. It's so much more than just a little pain and mood swings

I'm not saying you're not a woman, all trans women are women, but periods are not the womanly blessing you think it is. Also plenty of trans men, afab nonbinary people, and intersex people who don't identify as women have them, so it's just not a "woman" thing, it's a uterus thing, and an estrogen thing. If a cis man took estrogen he'd have the same symptoms, but you wouldn't call it a period would you? Why? Because he doesn't experience everything else that comes along with it.

Also to all the period havers, it doesn't make you gross, it's a natural experience that may feel gross but YOU are not, love y'all <3

This is mostly just rambling about my favorite episode, if you don't like that please ignore this lol

As a kid I had DVD's of sort of randomly ordered episodes, so I didn't know any lore or what the show actually meant, and I've seen I remember you about hundreds of times over the years, counting the couple times I've watched/re watched the full series as a teen/young adult.

As a long term fan, it's my favorite episode, especially now that I know the full story of Marceline and Simon's stories. I unironically listen to the song from the end of the episode. Their interactions truly seem to encapsulate the experience of someone seeing their parental figure succumb to something like dementia and not remember them anymore

Edit: ANOTHER LAYER! Marceline physically reading the letter Simon wrote to her out loud, and discussing it through music. We know music is how she processes things and expresses herself, so singing it probably hit harder for her than just reading words on a page Even seeing the clip of the ending on mute is enough to get the emotions going. It's just SO good 😭

Also when Ice king sings that song about needing someone, I realized how uncomfortable it must be for Marceline to hear him sing about her ex like that, so that just adds a whole other layer onto their relationship, because he doesn't even remember the type of relationship they have.

I can't remember which episode it was but Amethyst tells Steven that smashing his face into a bowl of cereal would stop a giant foot monster, and Pearl was like "THERE IS NO FOOT!"

And when we learn about the cluster and Steven explains it to the Gems I think Peridot says something like "The cluster is gonna look nothing like that!" And the cluster in season 5 was like 👍

So in a way, it was very possible that the cluster could've been a massive foot

It's not even a big serious issue it's just the way it flows feels unnatural

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There's such a hard pause between "ace" and "aro" so it just makes sense for "aro" to go first since it's easier to flow from "o" to "a" than just a harsh pause into a smooth vowel.

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It's really not that serious I just hate when sentences don't flow nicely.

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It's like if someone were to say "greet and meet" or "pepper and salt". It just feels so normal the other way around that it makes me cringe

So I'm ftm and have come out super late into puberty so all the unchangeable changes are there, for now. But am I too old to go on blockers?

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I don't really plan to go on HRT but birth control isn't exactly working to make my period go away. And there's no damn way I'll be able to get a hysterectomy until way further into adulthood. Would there be awful side effects if I try blockers after puberty?

I've only seen two sides of the trans man community

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The uwu femboy he/she/they "Gender is a feeling/fluid" side

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And the strictly he/him MAN ONLY side

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I feel like I'm weirdly in the middle and it hurts so much. We're isolated already as it is and I don't really fall into either category. I don't mind they pronouns, and don't care too much about clothes and stuff but I would cry if someone called me anything relating to femininity or women, and I'm NOT nonbinary

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But on the other hand I don't really want to go on T, don't feel the strongest need for bottom surgery, and something about the word "man" is so deeply engrained in negativity from my experience that it makes me feel weirdly guilty.

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I don't mind being called dude/bro/guy/bud etc, and masculine pronouns don't bother me, but I feel like I'm not fluid enough for the fem side or set in stone enough for the masc side, I'm just in this weird androgynous void. Every trans person I've met either has a strict set in stone identity or an "Eh it's whatever feels good" identity and I don't know where I fall into place

Even with someone like Lilith who knows her literal home address, she was in a position to simply call for backup, or promise to leave and unexpectedly come back with backup.

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This show doesn't exactly do loose ends or plot holes very much, and despite the ending being rushed ties them up pretty well. But this is my one gripe

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Also Eda doesn't even disguise herself when she goes to the market every week, she's just there out in the open, and it seems that verbally declaring she's the owl lady seems to convince people it's her, despite having a wanted poster with her literal face on it