u/TortillaRampage

Hello there! (Iykyk)
I’m just hoping to find some friends to chat about Star Wars and swap nursing memes on a regular basis. I don’t have many people to do that with. I’m also a dad of 5, so we can talk parenting and share memes about that too.
I’m going to be going through a divorce here pretty soon, so I’d love to have some company too. I promise to try my best to not trauma dump on you ☺️

Hello! I am a CNA going into the medical field for a career. I had an experience with my dad when he was on home hospice from lung cancer that made me want to change careers and go into nursing. I am a father of many, the last 2 of them were NICU babies. The 4th baby was in the NICU for 103 days, and the youngest is only 3 weeks old and is still there. I’m also a Star Wars nerd! Ask away!

What AirTag alternatives are out there? I’m looking for one that live updates constantly and does not require it to be in close-ish proximity. Also a bracelet that is difficult for kids to remove.
Last night, a non-verbal autistic boy went missing in my brother’s town. Hundreds of volunteers showed up to search. After almost 16 hours of searching, he was found. A few hours later, a press release was published stating that the boy has passed away.
It makes us really nervous for our 3 yo verbal daughter, who has the tendency to run away whether we are home, or out and about. We have 4 other kids so we can’t always keep total focus on her. We do our best to keep track of her, but we want a safety net should she slip through again. She has run away to our neighbors a handful of times without us noticing. This just makes us scared one of these times will be the last time we see her.
Also, we do have door alarms, but forget to arm them sometimes. They aren’t anything fancy like SimpliSafe alarms. Just $15 Phillips adhesive alarms.

I'm getting a switch 1 soon and I am not well-versed in the switch universe of games. I like RPGs, FPS, type games. I'm interested in the AC Black Flag and Rogue bundle, but I have never played either of those games. I'm curious about Star Wars Outlaws. I know there were optimization issues, I just don't know if those have been fixed.

Not really into the Mario games/Animal Crossing/Zelda games.

What PC-to-Switch games would you recommend?

I’m listening to the first Thrawn book and I’m at the part where Palps takes him into the garden off the side of his chamber. I fucking love the image of him and Vader just shooting the shit while planting daisies, trimming the bonsais, and spreading mulch together. I love the idea of him humming a joyful tune while filling the bird feeders and a butterfly landing on his hand. Just makes me so happy thinking about it lol

I need some serious no judgement love here for this post. I am being vulnerable and sharing something that has been haunting me for months. I feel like an awful person for even struggling with this.
For context, this is our 5th child. He is only a week old, he was born at 29 weeks. He is our 2nd NICU baby, with our previous child being the first.
For a little more context, I was planning on filing for divorce in Jan 26 because I’m tired of the way my wife treats me, that’s a whole different thing not being discussed here. I waited because I didn’t want it to ruin the holidays for our 4 kids. We found out about the pregnancy a week before Christmas. So now, divorce was on the back burner. I was not going to abandon her during pregnancy. I would not do that.
Since we found out about the pregnancy, I was emotionally withdrawn about it. I did not want to talk about it, I didn’t want to announce it, I didn’t want to acknowledge that it was real. I didn’t even let it start accepting it as reality until about 5 months in. I was not the initiator in talking about the pregnancy or anything baby related to my wife. I honestly resented the pregnancy for a while. I secretly hoped she’d miscarry so we could divorce and be done together. I secretly hoped that the doctor would recommend a medically necessary abortion, since she came within grasp of her liver rupturing and dying from HELLP. I know those are horrible thoughts to have. I feel shame for even thinking them. But I just wanted to end our toxic marriage. I was tired of it, and I deserve better. So I was distraught when I learned I would have to wait several more months till I would file.
Now that baby is here, I don’t even want to see him. I don’t want to visit, I don’t want to hold him, I don’t want to emotionally connect. I think it’s because I am scared of building an emotional bond when I know divorce is looming. I don’t want any more heartbreak than necessary, and being emotionally close to him will only hurt when she likely takes the babies with her.
I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to find a therapist and get help from them. But I just need to hear from other people who may have been in similar boats or situations. If anyone can relate, please reply or DM in private so we can talk.
I know I should be grateful that him and mom are both safe and baby is healthy and doing well in the NICU. I know I am lucky he is in such good condition, and that we didn’t lose him to complications. I am taking that for granted. But I don’t want to have it. And again, I feel so much shame for this. Please help

A few weeks ago I posted how I was worried that our 5th baby was going to be a NICU baby like our 4th was. My wife started having hypertension and her liver enzymes started rising. Here is an update:

Baby boy is at 28 weeks and the wife has been in the hospital since Thursday. She has developed HELLP syndrome. She has been borderline needing intervention since Thursday and baby is in breach, so she’d need a c section if they can’t get him to flip around. Her labs have stabilized but they’re still not good. They want to her in the hospital until baby comes, which has the potential of being weeks. Unlikely, but still possible. So I’ve been using PTO to be home tending to the home and taking care of the kids. It’s just such a stressful time right now. Me and the other kids are struggling to get along at home. Everyone is just so high emotion right now.
This just sucks.