u/Traditional-Peak-523

Title is explanatory. I’ve had 2 serious relationships where I was providing more than the other but this current one is out of control.

To be honest, I think my love language really is just providing. I find real joy in spoiling my partner. Like for example, when we get food or something and he asks if he can order like a large coffee or a big meal, it genuinely makes me happy to say “of course, you can have whatever you want”. I wish I could have this dynamic and it be pure but I just know unfortunately these guys think little of me and like it’s just not a good look for a woman. Plus I want to be taken care of in return. I would love to be a stay at home one day.

I pick my partner up from over an hour away, let him drive my car when we’re together, bring him home. Buy us 2 nice meals a day. Buy his nicotine because we vape. Before I got sober, our alcohol, which was really my alcohol because I needed to have it to not go into withdrawl and he’d just drink it to his hearts content. Leaving me having to run out first thing in the morning or late at night because a bottle that could have lasted me 2 days, lasted 1 day with him. Just basically when we’re together fully provide for him.

He occasionally throws in a meal. But that’s about it. On a good week maybe he’ll buy 3 of our meals. But most weeks it’s 0 or 1 meal, if even 1.

When he has vape pods of his own he hides it and keeps it for himself. See that’s the kinda behavior that really makes me regret being so generous. Like selfish little bitch behavior. He is an ex addict and I read they can tend to have hoarding tendencies but idk.

Yes, he is a dusty 😔 but I love him 😔. I know. I can hear Shera mocking me lmfaooooo.

I guess it’s less about him and more about me. Because when I meet someone I’m attracted to and want to be in a relationship with, I instinctively will start throwing money at them trying to show them how I can and am willing to take care of them. Like I said. I think it’s just my love language. Like to make someone I care for feel taken care of. I mean who wouldn’t want that? That’s why we’re all here, right? But I’m a dummy man. This hasn’t gotten me anywhere.

I think I could be stuck in my masculine? I saw a wizard Liz video where she talked about how her mom was stuck in her masculine. Like wouldn’t accept gifts or acts of service and she had to help her mom come out of that energy. Idk.

Growing up I didn’t have many friends at all. Boys didn’t really like me. My first bf and first everything was at 19. So I never got like the typical princess treatment a lot of girls got growing up by their bfs. Like I kinda am just really independent I guess. And I guess it translates into how I treat partners. Idk how to explain it.

Anyways. I’m so sorry yalll lmfaoooo.

Give me advice pls

I watched one of liv’s recent vids with her friend from the skinny society named, Julia.

I tried looking her up on insta in liv’s following and saw that she’s private and has no pfp.

She seemed nice. Maybe a little bit up liv’s ass lol but idk. I was just wondering yalls opinion on this friendship if anyone else saw the vid.

I have some opinions but I don’t know how to put it into words right now.

Idk if this sub allows posts like this, if not that’s my bad. But it was interesting to me so I wanted to post something.

I’ve been drinking everyday for a little over a year now. I’ve made numerous quitting attempts but unsuccessful. I recently got the vivitrol injection (naltrexone) because the pills were really effective. Honestly I feel like the pills helped more than the injection is but it still helps for sure and it’s convenient not having to take anything daily.

I was attempting to taper but I just can’t seem to do it. I’ve been saying I’m going to quit for months now and it’s just not happening. I feel like the access to alc is just too hard to resist during a taper and I end up trying to drink through the med most days.

Right now I’m averaging about 10 shots of Tito’s a night. I was able to cut my drinking back from all day everyday to everyday around or after 5pm. Which is good progress. I haven’t been able to hold off that long since December. So I’m proud of myself there. But like I said, access to the alcohol is just too hard to resist.

My bf lives an hour away and he comes over for 4 or 5 days at a time and then goes home for his group therapy and then spends a day or 2 to himself.

He goes home today and I decided that next time I see him I’m just going to go cold turkey. That way it won’t be as scary and I won’t be alone if it were to go really bad.

Withdrawal is a huge fear of mine. Well not withdrawal but dangerous withdrawl like seizures or strokes. I really am sure I’ll be fine. But it’s a scary possibility.

Anyways. I can’t have another night where I act out bc the alc makes my brain fire go crazy. I can’t have another night where I wake up having to ask, “how bad was I?” “Was I mean” etc, bc I can’t remember. I can’t keep telling my loved ones I’ll stop and then not stopping. So yea.

That’s my plan. I’m sure if it were to get dangerous I’d know before it got as bad as a seizure or stroke. Like I’m sure I’d start feeling really bad and sick and be able to go get actual help if I needed it. But I feel like not being alone will really help.

Anyways. Yeaaaa

Wish me luck

So I’ve posted here a many of times since around January. Basically been drinking daily since August 2025 and all day everyday drinking since December 2025. Shots of Tito’s. At my absolute worst some over 20 shots a day. Haven’t gone sober a single day in the past year except my failed detox attempts, which were actually mental hospitals. The first time i successfully tapered down to 4 drinks, but went in to be sure I would be safe completely stopping because I get anxious about the withdrawl risks. But didn’t WD at all completely unmedicated. I relapsed nearly immediately. And then the second time was late April and they refused me any meds at all besides psych meds, olanzapine and vistaril, despite I was definitely in withdrawal and was begging for meds. It was horrifying and frustrating as fuck. Relaspsed again pretty much immediately.

At this point I really do want to stop but I’m super stubborn against actual treatment like rehab. Although I’m sure I would be great. I really just want to do it myself.

I started naltrexone tablets and was on them for about a month. Noticed a huge difference. I was able to cut my drinking back to 5pm or slightly later everyday and cut back a lot. On my best days I got down to 4 shots a day.

But I struggled with trying to drink through the medicine and actually being able to once it wore off. But since it did help noticeably, I decided to ask my psych np for the shot and he said yes.

I was finally able to get it this morning! I was really nervous because I haven’t had a shot in my butt since I was maybe a kid. Lol. And I read some stuff about it being like a deep tissue injection. so I was a little nervous about the pain and stuff but it actually didn’t hurt. I barely felt it at all.

So far today I don’t feel too much difference. I guess maybe like how the pills feel. It’s currently almost 10:30 pm and I’ve had 8.5 shots, started drinking at 3:00 pm (I skipped my pills from like Friday to today, because I thought I could get my injection Friday but they were closed early. So I backslid a little on my progress) but I don’t really feel drunk. Maybe a little bit of that drunk clumsy feeling and stuff. But I really don’t feel like mentally intoxicated. My issues I feel myself running into is that now I’m better at holding off the drink but I’m faced with the newly developed habit of getting drunk when the pill would typically wear off, aka night. So I see myself having maybe 1 or 2, max, more drinks. But I’m hoping with the injection that issue will resolve itself overtime.

I still am drinking because I do want to take withdrawl seriously and do a proper taper. But I’m hoping I can quit soon. I mean ideally before the next shot so like 30 days.

Anyways. Yea. What should I expect? I’m assuming like the way the pills helped me, but constant. No worrying about it wearing off and stuff. Like I said, they made a massive massive difference.

Also I already felt today sort of regretting the shot lol. Not actual regret, because I’m glad I was able to get it and want to get better. But I’m like, fuck, this shit is in me for 30 days now and like bye bye drunkness lol. You know. But yea.

I started taking naltrexone close to a month ago I guess. I had zero side effects. Maybe some appetite loss slightly. I take it for AUD. I’ve been an everyday drinker for over a year now and an all day everyday drinker since December.

I was shocked by how well the pill worked. I was able to push my drinking back to around or after 5 pm everyday, and cut back pretty significantly. I actually had 2 days this week that I’d consider a major success. One night I only had 4 drinks and the other night I only had 6. Which is a huge improvement from my typical 20+ drinks a day. Oh I take shots of Tito’s btw so that’s what I mean by a drink.

I will admit after those 2 good days I kinda dropped the ball and haven’t taken my pill in a few days. So my use has been creeping back up but it’s nothing insane yet.

My main issue with the pill was once it wore off I’d struggle and take that as an opportunity to get drunk. So I made an appointment with my psych np and asked about the injection form and he said yessss.

I called and they said I can go get it tomorrow. I’m so stoked and optimistic and excited. I have a feeling this will be the answer.

I am a little nervous though. I did some research and discovered apparently they do the injection in your butt and it’s like a deep tissue shot or some shit. So I’m slightly afraid and squeamish thinking about the pain lol. But I mean hey, a little pain is worth it if this saves/changes my life.

Anywayssssss. Not too interesting just excited and happy. Wish me luck guysssss 🍀😁

I’ve been struggling with drinking for a year now. A year of daily drinking. Been drinking all day everyday since December. Honestly if it weren’t for dangerous WD I’d have quit cold turkey already by now. Maybe I’m overreacting but better safe than sorry right. Anyways. Attempted tapering multiple times and was successful the first time but ever since then it’s just a back and forth fail. I did however finally try naltrexone. I take 50 mg a day I believe and I’ve been on it for maybe 2 weeks. It’s made a massive difference. I’m actually suprised and so glad I tried it.

But.

Once it wears off in the evening I take that as an opportunity to get drunk and do and that’s basically where I struggle.

With the nal pill I average maybe 12 shots of Tito’s a day at the moment.

I was wondering, if, would the injection solve the issue of it wearing off in the evening? I assume that if I’m injected with it then it’s active like constantly until a month or however long it takes to actually wear off. Since it’s helped a lot in pill form but not so much at night, is the injection something worth looking into?

What do you guys think will eventually happen to Gracie due to all the defamation and harassment she’s committed towards Mk? And do you guys think she’ll ever actually get in trouble for her behavior?

I was prescribed naltrexone late last year but never ended up taking it. At first I didn’t think I needed it but then I wanted to try it but was afraid of having a nasty reaction. I heard it made some people violently ill and I hate throwing up, so I was reluctant. But then I tried half a pill. 25mg. And I didn’t have any side effects at all so the next day I took the full 50mg. My body reacts well. Although the first 2 days of doing the full pill I did have some intense restlessness and irritability for the first few hours. But today I didn’t really notice that. I think it’s helping actually. I’m doing Sinclair method. I take it in the morning when I wake up then wait an hour or 2 and then start drinking. I think it is helping. I definitely feel less of an urge to drink and I think it is blocking the drunkness itself. Although by the end of the day I’m chock full of alcohol and I think the med is wearing off some so that’s when I’m having trouble. But I would say some progress atleast because before the med I would be getting full blown drunk as quick as possible after I woke up. I haven’t made progress cutting back yet unfortunately. But I’m only on day 4 taking it so I figure just keep trying. I had a couple bad weeks where I was having ab 20 shots a day but the past 3 days went like, 19, 15, 16, and today I’ve only had 3 and a half shots and it’s almost 4 pm so that makes me feel good. Although I didn’t start drinking until 1 pm today so idk maybe I’m bluffing a bit. I also figured it would be good if I could wake up later to push the habit of drinking early in the day back. I get the shakes and stuff now. I’m contemplating recently though if that’s actual WD or just a hangover. But regardless, it’s really hard not to start drinking right after waking to sooth whatever that may be. Anyways. I’m hoping with time and effort that I can stop. I’ve been urged by many people to just go to rehab but dude I really don’t want to. I’m considering joining AA now and then an IOP once I’m sober to get sort of the same effect. Also since I’m doing it from home and alcohol detox is risky and can be dangerous, I’ve also adopted the mindset that some slight setbacks are okay, staying stagnant is okay. As long as I just keep trying. Maybe pacing myself is better if I’m doing it myself anyways.

I’m going on a year of daily drinking. About 7 months of all day everyday drinking. Literally everyday from the hour I wake up to the hour I go to sleep. I have a few failed taper attempts and then 2 failed attempts at staying sober after being detoxed in mental hospitals. My worst used to be a fifth a day, of Tito’s. But at this point my worst/average is between 17-20 shots a day maybe slightly more. The past few days I’ve woken up with my shakes being noticeably worse. I think I blacked out 2 days recently. Which I never ever do. My behavior while drunk is ruining my relationship which i actually do value and so I don’t want that. So I plan to take the taper way more seriously now but the fact my shakes have amped up really scares me. My main concern with quitting is having a dangerous withdrawal. I can’t really find a place around me dedicated to detox alone and I don’t want to go to rehab. Maybe I should, but life has been so overwhelming lately I just want to be able to be in my own space, not some facility for over a month. I have a nal prescription that I’ve been meaning to take but haven’t yet. Anyone have any anecdotals on that medication? I guess my other point here was its incredibly isolating feeling trying to discuss this with people. Like my partner for example. He used to be addicted to Percocets but he said in reality it was likely fentanyl. He said you can’t die from fentanyl withdrawal so I don’t think that’s a fair comparison. I can’t imagine what that was like but he has this attitude like I’m being over dramatic and making excuses for not cold turkeying. And my family as well. My first detox actually was a mostly successful taper. I got down to 4 drinks a day but wanted separation from the bottle and to be sure I could actually stop safely so I went in for 5 days and didn’t really WD at all, didn’t even need any meds for it. And then my second detox was terrible. I came to my psych np and he offered to have me detoxed at the hospital and so when I went they took me up to the behavioral health unit which I wasn’t expecting and they cold turkey detoxed me despite me noticeably WDing and begging for some med because of was horrified. They drugged me up on psych meds like olanzapine and vistaril and on my discharge papers wrote I was there for “bipolar depression”. Lmfao. I should have stayed sober after that, but I didn’t. So I’m afraid to seek another mental hospital detox for a short term stay. Oh yea. I was saying. My family tells me I should cold turkey because I survived the second detox. Like. I’m so sick of explaining to these people that I do have uncomfortable withdrawl and that’s red flag for more dangerous withdrawl and them just not caring. I don’t know. I guess I’ll reevaluate my taper schedule. The first taper was hell until I got down to very small amount of alcohol a day but I was able to do it. I also hard tapered so maybe that’s why it was so uncomfortable. So I’ll reevaluate a schedule and try again I guess. Idk. As dramatic as it sounds I kinda just wanna give up on life in general. I don’t see a point. Not because of the alcohol alone but everything in my life. It’s going downhill and I just want it to end. lol. I know this isn’t a depression subreddit but that’s just where I’m at. Not very motivated. But I guess I gotta try for my partner and myself and my loved ones.

Been attempting to taper but been failing miserably. Yesterday I woke up at 4 am and then started drinking at 5:30 am, didn’t stop until 11pm. Ended up downing 19 shots total if my math is right, I keep a log everyday. This is really sad to me because it’s the most I’ve drank since maybe my first taper attempt. Is this going to affect the taper? Can I cut back to like 15 today? Or did I screw myself with yesterday? I’m really not trying to have any more than 15 today. Ugh

I started drinking daily almost a year ago. August will make a year. It started slow like id only drink after 5 pm and a few shooters had me good at first. But it escalated and at my worst I’ll drink about a fifth a day. Averaging now probably between 10 and 13 shots a day. That’s when I put effort in to cut down. Which I’ve been consistently doing for a while now. But I can seem to stop or cut down past that. I feel like tapering doesn’t work because I just don’t have as much motivation as I really need and when I get the first shot in me I start to sort of feel it and it’s hard to resist after that. I requested some outpatient WD meds but my doctor said no like I need to be monitored and stuff. I really want to avoid another inpatient as ive been to 2 this year already. I also got in legal trouble so I ideally want to be able to quit myself and then join an AA and IOP to show the courts I’m trying without fully committing to a rehab program. For reference I drink Tito’s pretty much exclusively and this past week for reference as well I’ve had about:
Tuesday - 12
Wednesday- 12
Thursday - 12
Friday - 13
Saturday- 12?
Sunday - 9
And today around 4; 50 ml shooters, it’s currently 11 am

I’m thinking if I really want to avoid rehab at all costs my best shot is just cold turkeying.
I’ve read a lot about alc WD and I’ve also had some reassurance that at my pace I’m most likely fine but it’s still really scary.
I know overall it’s still not recommended, but I guess my question being. Like. Odds would I be okay or is it dangerous?
Thanks in advance
Eeeee

My bf (M23) and I (F23) have been seeing each other for almost 9 months now. Might I add he is a very very sweet, kind, sensitive person in general. It’s hard to imagine he does these things with a malicious intent, however my instincts are kinda going off.

It started with biting. Which I can sort of understand being an affection/territorial sort of behavior. Tbh I’m in active alcohol addiction and have been practically our entire relationship, so my memory isn’t the best. But what I can recall best which is as of late, late being maybe the past month or 2. He’s been biting me a ton. My fingers specifically. He’ll take my hand and bite my fingers. at this point pretty much every single time express discomfort because it’s hard enough to cause discomfort and pain. But he keeps doing it. If I don’t let him, he says “why won’t you let me bite you”. My fingers don’t bruise but when he bites my body it leaves marks a lot of the time. For example right now I have 3 or 4 bruises on my forearm and a bite mark on my shoulder and a fresh developing bite mark and bruise on my back. What gets me is the fact that I’m clearly in pain / uncomfortable yet he repeatedly does it. But he also flicks me. Specifically my forehead right between/above my eyes. It hurts and in general just feels degrading. He also does this a lot. Like a dozen times a day give or take. Again. I pull away or make a sad or uncomfortable face yet he still keeps doing it. It makes me feel again, like I’m being degraded in a sense.

I don’t want to be too vanilla or overreacting or whatever the fuck. I’ve been trying to convince myself that’s what I’m doing and to take it. And like I said, he is very sensitive and sweet so it’s hard to imagine it’s an ill intent sort of thing but like I said at the beginning, my instincts are going off and sometning about it just feels mean.

Like idk if I said this already but the biting, I could understand to a degree. still complexes me why he keeps biting my hands hard when he can obviously see it’s causing me pain and I dislike it. But then the flicking on top of it. The flicking especially just feels so mean.

Am i overreacting / overthinking?

Alcohol is taking over my life. I enjoy it but I can’t control myself at this point. I’ve been to 2 “detox”es this year already. Really both times I went to mental hospitals for detox specifically but still. Both times relapsed nearly immediately. I do not want to succumb to another facility. I’d sooner go to a detox than a rehab tbh but yea. I want to ideally taper off. I’m drinking like these past few days have averaged about 11 drinks (shots of Tito’s) a day. Sometimes a bit more , like closer to a fifth. Rarely less lol. But yea. I really just want to do it myself but it’s so hard to stay motivated. Honestly at this point I’m considering just cold turkeying it. Bc the taper bs is so difficult. I know it’s not recommended but at my last “detox” they cold turkeyed me off a fifth a day and refused me any WD medication and I survived. So maybe I need to just do that instead of trying to taper. Idk my thoughts are a mess so I hope this message comes across well. Anyways. Plssss help ugh

My bf just went through a really severe psychosis episode and he has been wanting to smoke weed and I’ve been trying my best to discourage it.

For context I’ve been battling with alcohol abuse for almost a year now and it’s been getting harder and harder to fight. I used to be a huge stoner but ever since his episode I’ve really laid off the weed. However I have a bunch laying around as I bought a qp in January and have been very slowly smoking it. These days I smoke very lightly. Just occasionally although recently a bit more because I’m trying to replace the alcohol with weed for now while I taper.

I found a receipt saying my bf bought 2 games a few days ago when I wasn’t with him. I asked him if he’d been smoking when he was away and he denied it and then said yes. And I asked if he stole my weed and he admitted he took about 4 grams.

Kleptomania was a huge thing when he was actively psychotic although I don’t even care because he was hence psychotic. I understand he feels terrible now but something about him stealing from me rubs me the wrong way pretty bad. Just feels disrespectful. But I also do understand the temptation. I don’t really know how to feel.

Is this understandable or completely disrespectful, or somewhere in between?

about 6 weeks ago I got arrested for drinking and driving. I have barely done anything to handle it thus far. I mean I got a lawyer but barely communicated at this point. I’m also in some sort of mental health crisis. Probably just all the drinking maybe. My brain is fried and I haven’t been able to think straight. And I also haven’t been able to successfully quit drinking. I went to a mental hospital for detox and relapsed a few days after for the stupidest reason but nonetheless relapsed. Tried tapering again and got down to 7 drinks a day a few days ago then started to drink heavier again so that’s a bust. I almost went to detox/rehab but couldn’t bring myself to go as my mental hospital detox experience was horrible and just didn’t want to go back to another facility. Although looking back the alternative is going to be much worse. I’m very irresponsible and for the first time almost ever I’m going to have to face real consequences. Today I realized I may have failed to mail a paper in pertaining to my court date. I thought it was set/agreed upon already but I may have been intended to send it in and my court is tomorrow. I guess I’ll just show up and wish for the best but I’m so afraid of going back to jail. I was only in there for 12 hours but it was so terrible and I was WD until they gave me Ativan. Does anyone have any advice in the scenario where they do end up putting me back in jail tomorrow? I don’t know how badly I would WD as the last detox experience forced me to go cold turkey and i survived without any major WD but also I’ve read about kindling so idk. I’m so fucking scared. Any jail advice in general would be helpful as well I should add. Sorry for jumpy and not well written thoughts, I’m so stressed.