u/Traditional-Peak-523

I’ve been struggling with drinking for a year now. A year of daily drinking. Been drinking all day everyday since December. Honestly if it weren’t for dangerous WD I’d have quit cold turkey already by now. Maybe I’m overreacting but better safe than sorry right. Anyways. Attempted tapering multiple times and was successful the first time but ever since then it’s just a back and forth fail. I did however finally try naltrexone. I take 50 mg a day I believe and I’ve been on it for maybe 2 weeks. It’s made a massive difference. I’m actually suprised and so glad I tried it.

But.

Once it wears off in the evening I take that as an opportunity to get drunk and do and that’s basically where I struggle.

With the nal pill I average maybe 12 shots of Tito’s a day at the moment.

I was wondering, if, would the injection solve the issue of it wearing off in the evening? I assume that if I’m injected with it then it’s active like constantly until a month or however long it takes to actually wear off. Since it’s helped a lot in pill form but not so much at night, is the injection something worth looking into?

What do you guys think will eventually happen to Gracie due to all the defamation and harassment she’s committed towards Mk? And do you guys think she’ll ever actually get in trouble for her behavior?

I was prescribed naltrexone late last year but never ended up taking it. At first I didn’t think I needed it but then I wanted to try it but was afraid of having a nasty reaction. I heard it made some people violently ill and I hate throwing up, so I was reluctant. But then I tried half a pill. 25mg. And I didn’t have any side effects at all so the next day I took the full 50mg. My body reacts well. Although the first 2 days of doing the full pill I did have some intense restlessness and irritability for the first few hours. But today I didn’t really notice that. I think it’s helping actually. I’m doing Sinclair method. I take it in the morning when I wake up then wait an hour or 2 and then start drinking. I think it is helping. I definitely feel less of an urge to drink and I think it is blocking the drunkness itself. Although by the end of the day I’m chock full of alcohol and I think the med is wearing off some so that’s when I’m having trouble. But I would say some progress atleast because before the med I would be getting full blown drunk as quick as possible after I woke up. I haven’t made progress cutting back yet unfortunately. But I’m only on day 4 taking it so I figure just keep trying. I had a couple bad weeks where I was having ab 20 shots a day but the past 3 days went like, 19, 15, 16, and today I’ve only had 3 and a half shots and it’s almost 4 pm so that makes me feel good. Although I didn’t start drinking until 1 pm today so idk maybe I’m bluffing a bit. I also figured it would be good if I could wake up later to push the habit of drinking early in the day back. I get the shakes and stuff now. I’m contemplating recently though if that’s actual WD or just a hangover. But regardless, it’s really hard not to start drinking right after waking to sooth whatever that may be. Anyways. I’m hoping with time and effort that I can stop. I’ve been urged by many people to just go to rehab but dude I really don’t want to. I’m considering joining AA now and then an IOP once I’m sober to get sort of the same effect. Also since I’m doing it from home and alcohol detox is risky and can be dangerous, I’ve also adopted the mindset that some slight setbacks are okay, staying stagnant is okay. As long as I just keep trying. Maybe pacing myself is better if I’m doing it myself anyways.

I’m going on a year of daily drinking. About 7 months of all day everyday drinking. Literally everyday from the hour I wake up to the hour I go to sleep. I have a few failed taper attempts and then 2 failed attempts at staying sober after being detoxed in mental hospitals. My worst used to be a fifth a day, of Tito’s. But at this point my worst/average is between 17-20 shots a day maybe slightly more. The past few days I’ve woken up with my shakes being noticeably worse. I think I blacked out 2 days recently. Which I never ever do. My behavior while drunk is ruining my relationship which i actually do value and so I don’t want that. So I plan to take the taper way more seriously now but the fact my shakes have amped up really scares me. My main concern with quitting is having a dangerous withdrawal. I can’t really find a place around me dedicated to detox alone and I don’t want to go to rehab. Maybe I should, but life has been so overwhelming lately I just want to be able to be in my own space, not some facility for over a month. I have a nal prescription that I’ve been meaning to take but haven’t yet. Anyone have any anecdotals on that medication? I guess my other point here was its incredibly isolating feeling trying to discuss this with people. Like my partner for example. He used to be addicted to Percocets but he said in reality it was likely fentanyl. He said you can’t die from fentanyl withdrawal so I don’t think that’s a fair comparison. I can’t imagine what that was like but he has this attitude like I’m being over dramatic and making excuses for not cold turkeying. And my family as well. My first detox actually was a mostly successful taper. I got down to 4 drinks a day but wanted separation from the bottle and to be sure I could actually stop safely so I went in for 5 days and didn’t really WD at all, didn’t even need any meds for it. And then my second detox was terrible. I came to my psych np and he offered to have me detoxed at the hospital and so when I went they took me up to the behavioral health unit which I wasn’t expecting and they cold turkey detoxed me despite me noticeably WDing and begging for some med because of was horrified. They drugged me up on psych meds like olanzapine and vistaril and on my discharge papers wrote I was there for “bipolar depression”. Lmfao. I should have stayed sober after that, but I didn’t. So I’m afraid to seek another mental hospital detox for a short term stay. Oh yea. I was saying. My family tells me I should cold turkey because I survived the second detox. Like. I’m so sick of explaining to these people that I do have uncomfortable withdrawl and that’s red flag for more dangerous withdrawl and them just not caring. I don’t know. I guess I’ll reevaluate my taper schedule. The first taper was hell until I got down to very small amount of alcohol a day but I was able to do it. I also hard tapered so maybe that’s why it was so uncomfortable. So I’ll reevaluate a schedule and try again I guess. Idk. As dramatic as it sounds I kinda just wanna give up on life in general. I don’t see a point. Not because of the alcohol alone but everything in my life. It’s going downhill and I just want it to end. lol. I know this isn’t a depression subreddit but that’s just where I’m at. Not very motivated. But I guess I gotta try for my partner and myself and my loved ones.

Been attempting to taper but been failing miserably. Yesterday I woke up at 4 am and then started drinking at 5:30 am, didn’t stop until 11pm. Ended up downing 19 shots total if my math is right, I keep a log everyday. This is really sad to me because it’s the most I’ve drank since maybe my first taper attempt. Is this going to affect the taper? Can I cut back to like 15 today? Or did I screw myself with yesterday? I’m really not trying to have any more than 15 today. Ugh

I started drinking daily almost a year ago. August will make a year. It started slow like id only drink after 5 pm and a few shooters had me good at first. But it escalated and at my worst I’ll drink about a fifth a day. Averaging now probably between 10 and 13 shots a day. That’s when I put effort in to cut down. Which I’ve been consistently doing for a while now. But I can seem to stop or cut down past that. I feel like tapering doesn’t work because I just don’t have as much motivation as I really need and when I get the first shot in me I start to sort of feel it and it’s hard to resist after that. I requested some outpatient WD meds but my doctor said no like I need to be monitored and stuff. I really want to avoid another inpatient as ive been to 2 this year already. I also got in legal trouble so I ideally want to be able to quit myself and then join an AA and IOP to show the courts I’m trying without fully committing to a rehab program. For reference I drink Tito’s pretty much exclusively and this past week for reference as well I’ve had about:
Tuesday - 12
Wednesday- 12
Thursday - 12
Friday - 13
Saturday- 12?
Sunday - 9
And today around 4; 50 ml shooters, it’s currently 11 am

I’m thinking if I really want to avoid rehab at all costs my best shot is just cold turkeying.
I’ve read a lot about alc WD and I’ve also had some reassurance that at my pace I’m most likely fine but it’s still really scary.
I know overall it’s still not recommended, but I guess my question being. Like. Odds would I be okay or is it dangerous?
Thanks in advance
Eeeee

My bf (M23) and I (F23) have been seeing each other for almost 9 months now. Might I add he is a very very sweet, kind, sensitive person in general. It’s hard to imagine he does these things with a malicious intent, however my instincts are kinda going off.

It started with biting. Which I can sort of understand being an affection/territorial sort of behavior. Tbh I’m in active alcohol addiction and have been practically our entire relationship, so my memory isn’t the best. But what I can recall best which is as of late, late being maybe the past month or 2. He’s been biting me a ton. My fingers specifically. He’ll take my hand and bite my fingers. at this point pretty much every single time express discomfort because it’s hard enough to cause discomfort and pain. But he keeps doing it. If I don’t let him, he says “why won’t you let me bite you”. My fingers don’t bruise but when he bites my body it leaves marks a lot of the time. For example right now I have 3 or 4 bruises on my forearm and a bite mark on my shoulder and a fresh developing bite mark and bruise on my back. What gets me is the fact that I’m clearly in pain / uncomfortable yet he repeatedly does it. But he also flicks me. Specifically my forehead right between/above my eyes. It hurts and in general just feels degrading. He also does this a lot. Like a dozen times a day give or take. Again. I pull away or make a sad or uncomfortable face yet he still keeps doing it. It makes me feel again, like I’m being degraded in a sense.

I don’t want to be too vanilla or overreacting or whatever the fuck. I’ve been trying to convince myself that’s what I’m doing and to take it. And like I said, he is very sensitive and sweet so it’s hard to imagine it’s an ill intent sort of thing but like I said at the beginning, my instincts are going off and sometning about it just feels mean.

Like idk if I said this already but the biting, I could understand to a degree. still complexes me why he keeps biting my hands hard when he can obviously see it’s causing me pain and I dislike it. But then the flicking on top of it. The flicking especially just feels so mean.

Am i overreacting / overthinking?

Alcohol is taking over my life. I enjoy it but I can’t control myself at this point. I’ve been to 2 “detox”es this year already. Really both times I went to mental hospitals for detox specifically but still. Both times relapsed nearly immediately. I do not want to succumb to another facility. I’d sooner go to a detox than a rehab tbh but yea. I want to ideally taper off. I’m drinking like these past few days have averaged about 11 drinks (shots of Tito’s) a day. Sometimes a bit more , like closer to a fifth. Rarely less lol. But yea. I really just want to do it myself but it’s so hard to stay motivated. Honestly at this point I’m considering just cold turkeying it. Bc the taper bs is so difficult. I know it’s not recommended but at my last “detox” they cold turkeyed me off a fifth a day and refused me any WD medication and I survived. So maybe I need to just do that instead of trying to taper. Idk my thoughts are a mess so I hope this message comes across well. Anyways. Plssss help ugh

My bf just went through a really severe psychosis episode and he has been wanting to smoke weed and I’ve been trying my best to discourage it.

For context I’ve been battling with alcohol abuse for almost a year now and it’s been getting harder and harder to fight. I used to be a huge stoner but ever since his episode I’ve really laid off the weed. However I have a bunch laying around as I bought a qp in January and have been very slowly smoking it. These days I smoke very lightly. Just occasionally although recently a bit more because I’m trying to replace the alcohol with weed for now while I taper.

I found a receipt saying my bf bought 2 games a few days ago when I wasn’t with him. I asked him if he’d been smoking when he was away and he denied it and then said yes. And I asked if he stole my weed and he admitted he took about 4 grams.

Kleptomania was a huge thing when he was actively psychotic although I don’t even care because he was hence psychotic. I understand he feels terrible now but something about him stealing from me rubs me the wrong way pretty bad. Just feels disrespectful. But I also do understand the temptation. I don’t really know how to feel.

Is this understandable or completely disrespectful, or somewhere in between?

about 6 weeks ago I got arrested for drinking and driving. I have barely done anything to handle it thus far. I mean I got a lawyer but barely communicated at this point. I’m also in some sort of mental health crisis. Probably just all the drinking maybe. My brain is fried and I haven’t been able to think straight. And I also haven’t been able to successfully quit drinking. I went to a mental hospital for detox and relapsed a few days after for the stupidest reason but nonetheless relapsed. Tried tapering again and got down to 7 drinks a day a few days ago then started to drink heavier again so that’s a bust. I almost went to detox/rehab but couldn’t bring myself to go as my mental hospital detox experience was horrible and just didn’t want to go back to another facility. Although looking back the alternative is going to be much worse. I’m very irresponsible and for the first time almost ever I’m going to have to face real consequences. Today I realized I may have failed to mail a paper in pertaining to my court date. I thought it was set/agreed upon already but I may have been intended to send it in and my court is tomorrow. I guess I’ll just show up and wish for the best but I’m so afraid of going back to jail. I was only in there for 12 hours but it was so terrible and I was WD until they gave me Ativan. Does anyone have any advice in the scenario where they do end up putting me back in jail tomorrow? I don’t know how badly I would WD as the last detox experience forced me to go cold turkey and i survived without any major WD but also I’ve read about kindling so idk. I’m so fucking scared. Any jail advice in general would be helpful as well I should add. Sorry for jumpy and not well written thoughts, I’m so stressed.

A few weeks ago I had a night with multiple demonic feeling dreams about my bf in a row. They all basically summed up from what I remember were me trying to escape him while being afraid of him and just got the sense he was a demon or like out to hurt me particularly, also another theme being I was trying to find his mom who he lives with currently.

The most memorable dream was the last one I had where we woke up in bed and he tried to get out of bed and I tugged on him to stay and he fell on the bed and started vomiting out blue stuff. But not much vomit and he ended up on his face so I turned him to his side so he wouldn’t choke. Then remember running away from him to the kitchen and he followed me and looked very catatonic and in a way feral if that makes sense. Then I was on the wall like up a few feet. Then I ran to his mom’s room and I started vomiting up feces and then I fell into a bucket big enough to hold me and started dedicating so much it filled the bucked up.

Then last night I had another dream where he was acting just straight up acting evil almost possessed and was tormenting me while I was trying to get away from him the whole dream.

He just kept doing malicious almost evil things to cause me extreme stress and it seemed like it was his goal. I only can remember two things off the top of my head now and they were at one point he started to throw up and I ran away from him and he ran up to me and intentionally started throwing up on me like he enjoyed it. And the other thing I remember was my dog was there who is a mini poodle and I was trying to stop him from getting a hold of the dog but he bit into my dogs neck. I can’t recall much of the other events but it’s atleast a handful of other things he did because that was what the whole dream was made up of and it felt like it went on for a while.

Might I add he just went through a severe psychotic episode where he mood swings of happiness and anger/violence. during this he really really scared me at times and I think possibly these dreams could be maybe some sort of result of traumatization from that but yea. lol.

Also might I add I’ve been heavily abusing alcohol for a while and ever since my drinking got really bad Ive been struggling with sleep and will have nightmares often when I do sleep. I didn’t really have nightmares often at all before my addiction took off.

Me and my partner have been seeing each other since November of 2025. We split after a few months at first and then reconnected a few months ago now.

I think it’s important to add he recently recovered from a pretty severe manic psychotic episode. Which is how we reconnected to begin with. I saw his brother to bring him my bfs items back and his brother said he had been mentally unwell, lost his mind. And he went to rehab.

He left rehab early and he texted me and he was off and I didn’t fully understand psychosis at the time; but I’m also bipolar as well, just not the severely psychotic type. And I have friends who do struggle with that specifically. Plus I just wanted to be a friend because I assumed he didn’t have many at the time due to his odd behavior and inability to really function normally. And plus I still cared for him.

We reconnected and he while I was there was deluded into thinking I was his ex. He thought I had 3 people in my head. I guess me, his ex, and his neighbor. But he thought I was his ex. That’s when I really realized he probably wasn’t over her right.

But it’s been a very loaded and confusing situation. Wasn’t sure if it was just brought up feelings if they were even valid due to the psychosis. And at that point I couldn’t, or didn’t feel it was right to distance myself at all because well, when I saw how severe off he was I thought he needed family to be there and I didn’t feel comfortable having him being so dependent on me for his own well being. So I wanted to show him love and care from a distance, but he at the time had no one there to take care of him. So until he got proper help I was basically there most of the time watching and trying my best to offer him care. So we, or I atleast, bonded to him pretty hard and quick.

It took a couple months and 2 hospital trips for him to fully come down and I didn’t feel it was right to step away from him in this sort of a situation so I was visiting him a lot. After the first hospital trip is when he finally had a place to go where he would be with his mom and not alone all the time.

I found out from his mom and him that basically him and his ex were tg a few years and were addicted to drugs and lived together. So they really grew to love each other a lot. I guess a similar trauma bonding sort of situation like we have had.

So that’s some backstory. Sorry it’s so long lol.

also may be worth adding that throughout the whole relationship he was incessantly cheating on me. Cyber cheating I guess. Talking to girls on the phone. Sending nudes. Shit like that. Although looking back that’s the least of my worries because I kinda chalk it down to him going into/being in his episode right. Idk if that’s the right way to take it but I wanted to give him benefit of the doubt.

Last night I went through his phone which I know. Not really okay or healthy but idk just wanted to see how bad the cheating really was because I was curious and it got the better of me.

Saw in his deleted texts that he about a month ago he texted her. His ex. At like 5 am and basically just said hey.

From what I can remember now, he was stabilized by then.

I can’t even necessarily be like mad at him. He’s a human with an experience and feelings. And I don’t say this to dog on him. But I mean is the conclusion that I should leave him? Because he’s not over her?

Or should I be understanding?

I told him last night I went through his phone and I’m heartbroken but couldn’t bring myself to spell it out. Like that’s what I saw. He didn’t piece it together. We’re supposed to have a conversation today when he gets home soon but again idk if I can bring myself to even say it out loud. But idk may be the only way to come to a proper resolution.

What do you guys think?

I am diagnosed bipolar 2 and have experienced what i believe to be hypomania, potential alcohol induced mania (but unsure of authenticity) and severe long depressive episodes. never any sort of real true psychosis. although maybe some mild psychotic symptoms. so that’s the perspective I’m coming from.

my bf is bipolar 1 w psychotic features. he had a very severe manic psychotic episode recently. when we met he was going manic/psychotic but he carried it well and I didn’t start realize until up until right before we split. he started voicing delusions and I didn’t fully understand psychosis at the time and he didn’t seem totally so bad off. but I caught him like cyber cheating so I cut him off. kinda was mutual according to him but I think I pushed him away for the most part.

we reconnected when he was fully psychotic and it was very bad and traumatic. for him more than me I’m sure but seeing him that way. he was delusional, angry, somewhat violent, not making sense barely ever by that point right. I was going to be his friend from a distance but his family left him all alone and I felt for him and worried about him so that’s really when I got involved again. was there almost everyday doing what I could, which wasn’t much besides be company and a friend. I’m in active alcohol addiction and so I’m not even really fully competent myself.

he got admitted 3 times this year, 2 more times since reconnected. and I see now how severe his disorder is. I don’t THINK it’s fair to hold him accountable for that necessarily. So far that’s what I’ve told myself. Like. Let it go because he wasn’t himself.

But I went through his phone tonight for the first time really ever and I saw just how much he was cheating on me while we were tg originally. And then even after the last hospital. I went into the mental hospital myself for the mental hospital said it was bipolar depressive episode which I think is hilarious bc I’m the opposite of depressed. If anything maybe mixed. Mainly up and then some bouts of depression here and there throughout the day. But I do think it’s alcohol induced really. But I was seeking detox. My point being I was in a bad spot and from what I could tell at that point he had pretty much come out of the psychosis/mania entirely and started entering a depression. And while I was in the hospital miserable, he was calling this girl so much. “Ki”

And recently I’ve been very mentally unstable. Almost mimicking his behavior and this time around he’s been comforting me. I’m very racing thoughts racy body. Talking up a storm. Probably just a result of my alcohol use but still. In a bad spot. And he told me he likes when I talk about his hoes because it shows him I love him. And he provoked me and said “look at my hoes” and started showing me girls on his instagram and then said something about let’s text Ki, and texted her. And today is when I went through his phone and saw he was texting and calling Ki. But then he said she’s just a friend. Like. Bro.

My point being idk if this is his character or if it was a product of his disorder. Again I want to give him grace and show him compassion but at the same time I don’t want to be fucked with.

I don’t know what to think.

What weed strains/types work for you without sending you into psychosis, particularly regarding a bipolar 1 w psychotic features type person.

I got diagnosed bipolar 2 around maybe 2 something, 3 years ago now. Tried a bipolar medication for a few months and it actually helped me quite a bit at the time. At the time I was more depressed but it seemed to alleviate/help me cope with the depression.

Around August 2025 I quit the medication because I wanted to be able to drink for fun and my alcohol addiction started. Started drinking daily around then and it became a full blown addiction since. To be fair looking back, I was sort of elevated before the usage. But it wasn’t anything crazy from what I remember.

Drinking everyday. If I am bipolar I would consider that period like a hypomania/mania. The other thing that tricks me up is like, I never really get sleep deprived. I know in mania you’ll sleep 3 or less hours a day. And I almost always get atleast 5 hours a night. When I get very elevated sometimes I’ll go like 2 days without sleep but I also have Hypersomnia so like I just require a lot of sleep in general. 5 hours a night is a stretch for me lol. So idk that makes me second guess the diagnosis as well.

I guess I’m all over the place but my main point being I’ve been elevated for nearly a year. If you count August as when it started. I haven’t experienced real depression since before then which is so off for me. I typically get depressed really bad and for a long time. Like years at a time. So this is odd for me but then you add in the drinking which I never was able to really quit yet so maybe that’s a factor, I mean definitely a factor but you know what I mean.

I’ve posted here before and people said my hypomania sounds more like bipolar 1 mania. But idk. I’m very second guessy, I wouldn’t say in denial because I consider it. But also consider maybe it’s not necessarily bipolar. Idk. Just want to understand myself really. Yea

I recently acquired a DWI or a DUI. Idk the correct terminology but I think it may be a DWI bc my BAC was over twice the legal limit amongst other factors but tbh I’m not even sure if they documented all the details because I don’t see the other stuff on my papers. Like the fact I had multiple empty bottles in my car etc. I have no idea. I’ve been so wasted since this occurred. Right at a month ago today. And I just got a lawyer. I’m considering rehab now for real. I really really don’t want to but my drinking is absolutely out of my control and maybe it would help. It’s straining my relationships and I care more about the people I love than my own self so that’s why I consider it now. But yea. Just wanted to hear others anecdotals because I like to hear about others experiences. Yeaaaa. Enlighten me you guys