u/UnitCell

"We're looking for a real hunter. Good relationship building and negotiation skills. Must be a team player and also customer service oriented."

Which one is it? Are you looking for someone who is good at going out and developing new business, or someone who will hide behind a full calendar of internal calls all day? Do you want someone who will negotiate for the best interest of your business for you, or someone who will bend over backwards for any external stakeholder's request?

Reads to me like you're looking for Schroedinger's sales person. They'd have to be a bipolar combination of two completely opposite personality types. Good luck with that!

"We're looking for a real hunter. Good relationship building and negotiation skills. Must be a team player and also customer service oriented."

Which one is it? Are you looking for someone who is good at going out and developing new business, or someone who will hide behind a full calendar of internal calls all day? Do you want someone who will negotiate for the best interest of your business for you, or someone who will bend over backwards for any external stakeholder's request?

Reads to me like you're looking for Schroedinger's sales person. They'd have to be a bipolar combination of two completely opposite personality types. Good luck with that!

Early 40ies dude here. My whole life I've observed many of my buddies enjoy casual sex with lots of women. I've had my share of casual sex but don't enjoy it so much if there isn't any emotion involved. I can't seem to even really get close to a woman without my heart, like, almost automatically wanting to give itself to her. Don't take me wrong I am very healthy with a very strong urge, but there are a lot of good looking women that don't interest me at all. And the ones that I am into my heart is always in the fight right from the start.

Most of my life I've thought that there is something wrong with me. Like I'm too soft, weak or emotional. That's kind of the feeling that women give me when they reject me.

I'm black/white mixed and come from a military family. I myself have a military, and also EMS background. I'm over 6 foot tall, muscular and very fit. Right now I'm in a graduate level sales role and project a certain level of corporate presentability and confidence. I think a lot of women initially size me up as a bit of a "f*** boy" and then get put off when the whole package throws itself at them "how am I gonna get rid of this guy again".

When we went to see the Titanic movie with Leo DiCaprio at the theater when I was a teenager my eyes were pretty much wet during half the movie.

Right now I'm talking to a woman. Been talking to her for a year or so and things became gradually more intense. We had some good talks recently discussing some pretty specific things and even agreed to another follow up call. I guess she must've changed her mind and now I'm getting the ghost treatment. Feels like my heart is bleeding out inside my chest.

Am I just a hopeless romantic?

Help!

Hey all. New weight lifter here. Been back at it for a couple of years now. Can we have some real talk on knee soreness and squat progression?

I've recently started moving more and more from machines to free weights. I do zercher squats at the moment, full range of motion and trying to work my way up to two plates (225). At my lowest point, my butt is essentially resting on my calfs. This and the rest of the squat feel challenging, but comfortable in the knees, even at my max weight set. Especially after everything is warmed up and stretched.

However, I do feel some mild but distinct soreness in my knees now, especially when I rest. Wearing knee braces especially at night to keep my knees warm seems to help with this. While I am not in pain or limited in any way, I do wonder how to best manage this.

Of course when I ask ChatGPT, the thing tells me that any knee soreness isn't good and that joints strengthen over time without any sensation ever.

Is this true? Or is some soreness and sensation normal as knees get used to heavier weights? Appreciate any real input from actual lifters.

Thanks in advance!

I had some thoughts on this based on my accumulated experiences. Both my personal ones, or through second hand accounts through family and friends. None of this is meant to scold women or say that they are somehow bad. Just my observations and I think understanding this will help any man.

- A sense for romance (and honor) are male only feelings. Women don't have this. They can't and wont recognize or reciprocate this.

- The main three pillars of what women operate on psychologically are sex, security and validation. Sex essentially means her partner gets her off. Security means the man provides protection from physical harm and also financial (resource) security. Validation can come from her partner, friends and/or nowadays, the internet.

- Women don't love men. In a functioning world with functioning relationships, love flows down and respect flows up. God loves his creation (men, women, children), men love their wives and children, women love their children. This is reciprocated with respect. This dynamic fulfills both men's desire for romance, honor and sex, and women's desire for sex, security and validation.

- Women give no quarter and don't negotiate. They fight for everything that's on the table, always. She wants everything for her and her kids. Mature men learn the advantages of compromise. Women don't.

- Women are biologically hardwired for motherhood. Contrary to what I often read and see from men, some of the happiest women I know are mothers. Some of them even single mothers (sure this only works through daddy government but not getting into this here). Many men also want fatherhood, but for men it doesn't seem as much of a primary biological need as with women.

I have a good, very long time friend. We are currently in different parts of the US, but have been staying in touch through text and calls. Things have been going into a more romantic direction a bit slowly. This is now the second time where they are dropping off the radar, and responding so sparsely that it is almost a complete breakdown of communication without any thorough explanation, for several weeks.

From our previous discussions and what they are writing, it is becoming apparent to me and I highly suspect that they are suffering from depression and are self isolating. I read on reddit that people self isolate during depressive episodes, and this seems to check out with what my friend is doing. I had a year of depressive struggles a long time ago, but was able to pull myself out of it and it never came back. But I know how it feels like sitting at the bottom of a cold dark pit with a rock boulder on your chest weighing you down.

My questions is how to best handle this? I've been checking in lightly reminding them that I'm thinking of them and here for them when they're ready. Rarely I'll crack and ask for them to please give me an update or ask for a call when really I fear it may be too pushy.

Any perspectives on what may be going on with my friend and, also, how to best handle this from my end would be much appreciated.

Are light check ins okay or maybe even good?

Or should I just go completely zero touch until they reach out, whenever that may be?

US/EU dual citizen here. I love the US and I'm born here. Lived about 50/50 in each place. Have one US and one EU parent and family on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean. I like freedom, guns, the salaries and the cool people in the US. But every time I come here to live, after about a few years I'm fed up and I want to come back to Europe. Things that I'm getting tired of here that are better in Europe:

- Work and business culture:
The US work and business culture is incredibly performative. I don't think Americans actually work any harder, and certainly not more efficient, than typical Europeans. But they constantly act like they do. Presentation is everything and the bearer of the bad news gets walked out. So everybody bullshits all day every day in an anxious attempt to cling on to their employment, which is not protected by any laws. It's kabuki theater. Stressful kabuki theater.

- Politics:
What in the actual factual is even going on with politics in the US anymore? I'm sure you all are well aware of our current administration and their antics. The problem is that it is heavily partisan all the way down to the individual. You really can't have a reasonable discussion on any particular political issue with anybody here without being run through a continuous friend/foe check. As soon as you say something associated with the opposite "team" then the yelling starts.

- Health care:
Look. I'm a university degreed professional and I get great healthcare through my work here. But the amount of people who have to go without affordable access to a doc is staggering and honestly makes me feel bad just seeing it. And even if you have a good health plan through your work, your employer now has you by the soft parts so to speak. If you get fired your health coverage ends pretty much on the spot, same day. So anything you got going on is going to be billed directly to you now. Add to this that people often get fired because they got sick and can't be used sufficiently by the company any longer, and you get a pretty grim picture.

- Dating:
People in the US tend to be incredibly superficial and "me first" when it comes to dating. Everybody is looking to just get a "good deal" in someone else based on check-box items. There are a bazillion contradictory and unwritten rules to dating in the US that I, as someone who came up in Europe, have huge struggles understanding. I miss the more easy going and more personal approach to meeting the opposite sex in Europe. I'm also mixed black/white and I subjectively feel that there are more women in Europe who are more colorblind when it comes to mate selection.

- Culture:
Cities in the US are pretty much commercialized cardboard and strip mall hellscapes. Anything that isn't profitable for a quarter gets immediately bulldozed and replaced by the next cardboard building money extraction scheme. Are you looking for thermal bathing facilities, historical buildings, museums and theater with live performance. Those are all either a "no" for the US or very rare.

So, okay Europe, you win again. I wanna come back!

Look it was cool when only a handful of people were doing it. Watching Arnold and company exploding their glistening biceps doing the bro handshake before shooting predator aliens from outer space with oversized gats was fun to watch. But now every mid life crisis dude is hopping on some stuff to enhance their gym selfies. It's starting to get silly. Stop it.

So what's the endgame? I feel like living in modern, western society as a man is about as fulfilling as washing dishes or scrubbing a toilet. Essentially, I get to work my job, pay my taxes and shut up.

There is no path to real ownership. House prices exploded and even if you own a house you pay exorbitant taxes in some places. You're looking at an income tax of 20 to 50% in some countries in the EU, for example, if you count all the mandatory government dues and fees. Then the state of modern women and relationships discussed here and in other subreddits frequently. It seem to me women care less about men each year. They don't really need us anymore for anything really and they're letting us feel that more and more.

I mean more power to them but what purpose do we have anymore as guys?

I've done military reserves and am a trained soldier. For example, I don't know if I'd risk my life for this nonsense if it ever came to being attacked. If the muslims take over at least their women respect men better and they still value the nuclear family. Why the fuck would I go fight for my bank account balance and being treated like dirt by women?

I also tell young men to stay away from military service. If you wanna be a hero go join your local fire department or something. Help those immediately around you in our community.

I'm not even sure I want to keep doing my corporate job. Just do something that's more fun and make just enough to scrape by. Minimize the amount of tax I pay and enjoy life. If I have more time to spend in the gym and perhaps learn to play acoustic guitar at the meadows down by the river, probably women would appreciate me again all the sudden and I'd likely get more action than now.

What the fuck am I getting up for in the morning again?

Okay so this is going to be a bit of a hot take and also a reaction to some comments I read recently, where someone came out and wrote that there are different definitions of natty and that "just a little bit of test and peptides is as good as natty".

No, it's not. If you're putting pharmaceuticals in your body to get more jacked and lean, then you're not natty. While I'm natty and I don't like that more and more people are using stuff (gear, test, peptides) for vanity reasons, I'm also not going to judge them for doing so. But let's be honest.

If you're low on testosterone you need to fix that. Natural means would be to get better sleep, learn to handle stress better at your job or cut alcohol and inflammatory foods, for example. Unnatural means would be test injections. Even if the test injections dial you back in at "natural" levels, you're using unnatural means to get back to these "natural" levels.

Same with dieting. Raw dogging it with calorie and macro counting, and then toughing it out when the hunger hits at night is natural. Taking drugs to help you not feel hungry is unnatural. It just is.

So when you post pics on here or comment, please be honest. There is no "as good as natural". You're either taking drugs or you're not. Simple.

Good Day Gents,

if you're at all familiar with Rudyard Kipling you will be familiar with the concept that female members of most animal species leave no quarter. This is commonly said to be a consequence of that females are the primary care takers of their offspring. When looking after kids, there are no compromises. At least in evolutionary biology.

I have a good anecdote for this. I know that an anecdote is just that, hence the disclaimer. After graduating university I was hired on by a company for a career level corporate business role. I was sent to a sales and negotiation training, and in one of the role plays I was placed in a group where I was the only man.

The problem and stakeholders that were distributed immediately made sense to me. Just reading my part and the general scenario, I immediately sensed the solution which would have seen each negotiator as a winner in their own set of needs. Very confident, I immediately started negotiating towards that solution.

The other persons would just look at me like deer in the headlights and proceeded to demand everything on the table. Each of them wanted to win over the others, no compromise. I continued to lay out the mutual win in ever more detail and as clearly as possible without completely giving away my negotiation position.

Meanwhile, the session trainer caught notice of my situation. They would pace around our group. In an audible tone, they would say things like:

- "He understood the problem immediately."

- "He gets it."

- "He sees right through it."

Meanwhile, the persons I am paired up with continue to look at me like they're completely lost. Would they allow me to guide the group to the group problem's solution? Fuck of course they wouldn't.

The negotiation completely failed.

No chance!

Dear Men and Women of Reddit,

why is female attraction so absolute? As a guy, I totally understand that some people just hit you differently than most other people and in a kind of special way. Though if the attraction isn't returned, or I just find out that person isn't going to be good for me, I can totally divert my emotions to a better fit person and build my feelings for them. And be happy with that and appreciate that person.

Women don't seem to be able to do this. They either like a guy or not. No in between. And before you try to tell me this isn't the case, I have many female friends who talk to me and tell me about how they fall in love and handle men in general. They won't look at a guy with their butts unless he's "the one" but then they're totally feral over them.

Most of the time it doesn't even make sense to me why the guy their mind chooses for them is the guy their mind chooses for them. They often can't explain it either. Typically when they grapple for a reason it is something about their voice or scent or some other nonsense that says nothing about their character.

Any ideas on why this is the case?

Why is women's attraction for men often so absolute?

Is their psychology just so different?

Dear Women of Reddit,

why is female attraction so absolute? As a guy, I totally understand that some people just hit you differently than most other people and in a kind of special way. Though if the attraction isn't returned, or I just find out that person isn't going to be good for me, I can totally divert my emotions to a better fit person and build my feelings for them. And be happy with that and appreciate that person.

Women don't seem to be able to do this. They either like a guy or not. No in between. And before you try to tell me this isn't the case, I have many female friends who talk to me and tell me about how they fall in love and handle men in general. They won't look at a guy with their butts unless he's "the one" but then they're totally feral over them.

Most of the time it doesn't even make sense to me why the guy their mind chooses for them is the guy their mind chooses for them. They often can't explain it either. Typically when they grapple for a reason it is something about their voice or scent or some other nonsense that says nothing about their character.

Can you all in here please help me understand this better?

Why is women's attraction for men often so absolute?

Good morning Ladies and Gents,

another day and another blow hard hot take on LinkedIn. Sales manager asks his candidates "sales sucks why are you in it"? What an idiot take!

Sales doesn't suck. And sales is also not "hard". It's a profession just like any other, and for the right person with the proper inclination and ability to learn and build the skill set, sales makes for a fulfilling and engaging career.

The problem where it starts sucking for people is when you have these conveyor belt sales setups, where they try to "success force" people who may or may not be actual sales talent through cookie cutter sales call instructions, micromanagement and activity metrics.

When I hear "sales sucks" or "sales is hard" from a sales manager, I already know the type of muppet I'm dealing with.

Sales neither sucks nor is it hard, for the right person working for the right persons.

It can actually be quite the breeze, if you have the inclination for it and are free to act on it.

Good morning Ladies and Gents,

another day and another blow hard hot take on LinkedIn. Sales manager asks his candidates "sales sucks why are you in it"? What an idiot take!

Sales doesn't suck. And sales is also not "hard". It's a profession just like any other, and for the right person with the proper inclination and ability to learn and build the skill set, sales makes for a fulfilling and engaging career.

The problem where it starts sucking for people is when you have these conveyor belt sales setups, where they try to "success force" people who may or may not be actual sales talent through cookie cutter sales call instructions, micromanagement and activity metrics.

When I hear "sales sucks" or "sales is hard" from a sales manager, I already know the type of muppet I'm dealing with.

Sales neither sucks nor is it hard, for the right person working for the right persons.

It can actually be quite the breeze, if you have the inclination for it and are free to act on it.

Hello Gents,

back on the dating market at 40 years old again. Out and about, meeting women and getting to know them. I run into lots of 30 year old single moms.

I know there's a big discussion right now everywhere around single moms. I don't want to get into the breadth of it. However, reading online and also having these interactions with single moms in real life, I came to one conclusion.

I genuinely believe that women don't understand that men don't like getting involved in a situation that involves another man's kids. I am convinced that many women think that they can break up with the dad, and just some other man is going to find her and her kids so cute that he'll come in and take over. I even think that many women think that somehow that's some kind of particularly good package deal, that should get them an even better man (maybe not hotter, but certainly better put together) than the dad.

I'm not trying to apologize anything here. Also not trying to bash on women. I'm just baffled at how little women understand men.

Okay ladies and gentlemen. This is going to be a bit of a vent. Though I think it's very valid.

Here is my bit on why ghosting is shitty behavior. Let's first define ghosting for the purposes of this post. Ghosting is (!) not:

- You've matched on a dating app. Had a back and forth through text for a few days or maybe weeks. All the sudden one party just stops responding. This is not what I mean. Technically it's ghosting, but not really. Even though it isn't polite and I wouldn't do it, it is par for the course on dating apps as far as I'm concerned.

- Someone tells you "no" in a clear and understandable manner. You keep pushing and eventually they give up and stop responding. This is not you being ghosted. They gave you clarity and now you need to handle your own end.

Ghosting (!) is:

- Maybe you've known each other for a few years. Maybe you have a mutual circle of friends. Maybe things picked up recently between the two of you in one way or the other. All the sudden, and without an apparent reason or explanation, one party just vanishes. Calls don't get picked up, text messages go unanswered. Eventually there may even be a hard block.

- Maybe you've met on an app. But there have been a few in person dates. Maybe both parties even gave each other the impression that things are going well and you've invested time, emotional labor and always showed up. All of the sudden, one party vanishes.

Now that we've defined ghosting. Let's get into the typical excuses or struggles that ghosters mention. And why they don't completely absolve someone of responsibility.

- "But I don't want to hurt the other person's feelings!"
This is the worst one. We are all grown ups and you know as good as I do that uncertainty is way more difficult to deal with than a clear rejection for most adult and reasonably adjusted individuals. If you don't understand this, read any popular psychology type magazine and they will explain that there in a bazillion articles on ghosting and other topics.

- "But what if they get mad at me?"
Simple. After you serve closure you can always just opt out of communicating with them after that. Use the block button with full confidence at or after that point.

- "I don't owe anybody anything!"
Uhm. Yes. You kinda do. Developing relationships with other persons requires and deserves trust and comes with a certain level of mutual entitlement to a degree of communication and responsiveness, and also closure. When someone opens up to you they are, in a way, exposing their tender insides to you. You are now responsible to handle this appropriately. If you don't understand or can't accept this, then why are you even looking for human connection and love in the first place?

Sooooo. Don't ghost. It takes literally 3 to 5 minutes to think of a short 3 to 5 liner. Five minutes of your time vs. days or weeks of them wondering and second guessing you, them and the conversations and interactions you had. Just fucking send them a text and give them closure. This is not an unreasonable ask. If they keep pushing after that then it's on them, but until then - it's on you to not be a ghoster!

Okay ladies and gentlemen. This is going to be a bit of a vent. Though I think it's very valid.

Here is my bit on why ghosting is shitty behavior. Let's first define ghosting for the purposes of this post. Ghosting is (!) not:

- You've matched on a dating app. Had a back and forth through text for a few days or maybe weeks. All the sudden one party just stops responding. This is not what I mean. Technically it's ghosting, but not really. Even though it isn't polite and I wouldn't do it, it is par for the course on dating apps as far as I'm concerned.

- Someone tells you "no" in a clear and understandable manner. You keep pushing and eventually they give up and stop responding. This is not you being ghosted. They gave you clarity and now you need to handle your own end.

Ghosting (!) is:

- Maybe you've known each other for a few years. Maybe you have a mutual circle of friends. Maybe things picked up recently between the two of you in one way or the other. All the sudden, and without an apparent reason or explanation, one party just vanishes. Calls don't get picked up, text messages go unanswered. Eventually there may even be a hard block.

- Maybe you've met on an app. But there have been a few in person dates. Maybe both parties even gave each other the impression that things are going well and you've invested time, emotional labor and always showed up. All of the sudden, one party vanishes.

Now that we've defined ghosting. Let's get into the typical excuses or struggles that ghosters mention. And why they don't completely absolve someone of responsibility.

- "But I don't want to hurt the other person's feelings!"
This is the worst one. We are all grown ups and you know as good as I do that uncertainty is way more difficult to deal with than a clear rejection for most adult and reasonably adjusted individuals. If you don't understand this, read any popular psychology type magazine and they will explain that there in a bazillion articles on ghosting and other topics.

- "But what if they get mad at me?"
Simple. After you serve closure you can always just opt out of communicating with them after that. Use the block button with full confidence at or after that point.

- "I don't owe anybody anything!"
Uhm. Yes. You kinda do. Developing relationships with other persons requires and deserves trust and comes with a certain level of mutual entitlement to a degree of communication and responsiveness, and also closure. When someone opens up to you they are, in a way, exposing their tender insides to you. You are now responsible to handle this appropriately. If you don't understand or can't accept this, then why are you even looking for human connection and love in the first place?

Sooooo. Don't ghost. It takes literally 3 to 5 minutes to think of a short 3 to 5 liner. Five minutes of your time vs. days or weeks of them wondering and second guessing you, them and the conversations and interactions you had. Just fucking send them a text and give them closure. This is not an unreasonable ask. If they keep pushing after that then it's on them, but until then - it's on you to not be a ghoster!

Women have been given everything during the past decades. They've been heavily favored in divorce proceedings where as a man you essentially constantly have to live at the threat of the wife changing her mind. Domestic violence disputes are essentially "I win buttons" for women in many cases. Also, they've been given absolute reproductive control through chemical contraception, one sided and at will (she decides) abortion services and many countries will give IVF to single women now.

Meanwhile, men get to work, pay taxes and aren't allowed to feel any certain way about all of this. Lonely? Your problem! Want a job? Sorry, we have to fill this woman quota first!

The way women are behaving nowadays and the whole dynamic around it, be it work, romance or anything else really, makes me think that feminism wasn't ever about protecting women from the bad apple men.

I think that feminism is and always has been about mobilizing the state, taxation, the welfare system, police and courts to enable women to get what they want - egotistically - without having to deal with these "pesky" men.

It is my impression that a man nowadays can be good, gentle, supportive and do everything right, just to end up ignored or, worse, thrown under the wheels of the system he supports with his labor (and maybe even military service) each and every day.

Please don't misunderstand me. Of course any individual woman doesn't owe anything to any individual man. But at this point I'm wondering about the larger societal contract and I feel degraded to a mere biological productivity unit.

Work, pay taxes and shut up.

We'll help women be happy, but not you!

Are all these videos where players in DCS "corkscrew" down into a SAM site with one missile after the other missing them essentially exploiting the lack luster proximity fuse modeling in the simulator?