u/Valuable-Pear-5850

So for context I have went about 30 years without an orgasm, I never used toys or vibrators and would only use my hands and it was the same during sex with a partner.

They or me may as well rub/lick my elbow, it feels like nothing.

Ive tried different techniques, different pressures, etc but nothing works. It feels like someone is touching me, its not like my nerves are dead, there is just zero pleasure in it.

I bought my first vibrator and air pulse toy at 30 to try, and did successfully have my first orgasm with both, and with regular use (around 3 days per week average) I can get myself off with it and masturbate properly. It definitely feels very pleasurable.

The issue is I WANT human connection. Having sex with my partner with a vibrator/toy can feel very robotic and I struggle with relaxing and allowing myself to fully feel aroused. Its not a him issue, because I cant manually do it either. Id consider trying to not use vibrators/air pulse toys anymore, but it didnt work for the 30 years beforehand...so is there any point?

Is something wrong with me?

I am a trans man and initially thought it was because my clitiros was extremely small, barely visible to the point I thought I was born without one, i was hoping starting testosterone would help once I got bottom growth, and it is much bigger, visible and becomes visibly erect (around 1 inch in length)...but the problem still persists. I feel very little when touching it manually.

Any advice?

So for context I have went about 30 years without an orgasm, I never used toys or vibrators and would only use my hands and it was the same during sex with a partner.

They or me may as well rub/lick my elbow, it feels like nothing.

Ive tried different techniques, different pressures, etc but nothing works. It feels like someone is touching me, its not like my nerves are dead, there is just zero pleasure in it.

I bought my first vibrator at 30 to try, and did successfully have my first orgasm, and with regular use (around 3 days per week average) I can get myself off with it and masturbate properly. It definitely feels very pleasurable.

The issue is I WANT human connection. Having sex with my partner with a vibrator can feel very robotic and I struggle with relaxing and allowing myself to fully feel aroused. Its not a him issue, because I cant manually do it either. Id consider trying to not use vibrators anymore, but it didnt work for the 30 years beforehand...so is there any point?

Is something wrong with me?

I am a trans man and initially thought it was because my clitiros was extremely small, barely visible to the point I thought I was born without one, i was hoping starting testosterone would help once I got bottom growth, and it is much bigger, visible and becomes visibly erect (around 1 inch in length)...but the problem still persists. I feel very little when touching it manually.

No transphobia please.