u/Vast-Equipment-5183

Hi everyone.

I truly believe that we as this consciousness have the power to manifest absolutely anything but I also acknowledge some of my personal limits which have been there from years or conditioning.

I think the problem with me is that I have too many desires and yes I want them all! But im never consistent with one thought. I'll affirm one day and next I think like oh its bound to happen but still the doubt is there! Like im not saturating my mind enough.

I dong know how to go about this, like I tried to affirm that I get anything I want but then for specific desires I do have to visualise them particularly which im having a great confusion with. Like i dont know what i want the most rn I want so many things. I hope my point comes across and I just want some advice for it pls

Hi everyone.

I truly believe that we as this consciousness have the power to manifest absolutely anything but I also acknowledge some of my personal limits which have been there from years or conditioning.

I think the problem with me is that I have too many desires and yes I want them all! But im never consistent with one thought. I'll affirm one day and next I think like oh its bound to happen but still the doubt is there! Like im not saturating my mind enough.

I dong know how to go about this, like I tried to affirm that I get anything I want but then for specific desires I do have to visualise them particularly which im having a great confusion with. Like i dont know what i want the most rn I want so many things. I hope my point comes across and I just want some advice for it pls

I'm 20F and my sister is 16. We live with our parents. I'm in college in my hometown and I'm working hard towards my financial stability.

My parents have really damaged us emotionally and they'll never realize that. I don't know if I'm supposed to be grateful about this but they're not like that all the time? Majority of the time they're very loving, you know but there have been certain instances, which I won't go into very much detail now, have been traumatic for us.

They've beaten us up, they've called us names for like the most normal things that a teenager can do. And I feel like because of that, I still have to test the boundaries for my freedom. And that's why I am really working on just getting out of here.

But until I'm here, I've noticed that whenever we have arguments or they "scold" us, I know it affects both of us, me and my sister, but for some reason, she shrugs it off. She's able to take it very lightly, or maybe that's her way of coping, to just disregard it?

But for me, I feel it so deeply. I get so hyper and I cry. I feel like there's an sense of always coming back with an answer to defend myself. I feel like that comes from my people pleaser tendencies and being the eldest daughter. And that has reflected so much into other aspects of my life too.

Their mentality is very backward but they've projected themselves as liberal parents. So there's a lot of cognitive dissonance with me, I guess.

But the main thing, my main thing is that if I have to appear to them as someone who is ready to take her decisions and not "docile" as my dad says, whenever we have these arguments, how can I stop myself from just crying?

Because whenever I cry, it gives them an agency and I don't want that. I really want to be able to handle things maturely, but I just don't know. I want to be able to control my emotions.

​

I'm 20F and my sister is 16. We live with our parents. I'm in college in my hometown and I'm working hard towards my financial stability.

My parents have really damaged us emotionally and they'll never realize that. I don't know if I'm supposed to be grateful about this but they're not like that all the time? Majority of the time they're very loving, you know but there have been certain instances, which I won't go into very much detail now, have been traumatic for us.

They've beaten us up, they've called us names for like the most normal things that a teenager can do. And I feel like because of that, I still have to test the boundaries for my freedom. And that's why I am really working on just getting out of here.

But until I'm here, I've noticed that whenever we have arguments or they "scold" us, I know it affects both of us, me and my sister, but for some reason, she shrugs it off. She's able to take it very lightly, or maybe that's her way of coping, to just disregard it?

But for me, I feel it so deeply. I get so hyper and I cry. I feel like there's an sense of always coming back with an answer to defend myself. I feel like that comes from my people pleaser tendencies and being the eldest daughter. And that has reflected so much into other aspects of my life too.

Their mentality is very backward but they've projected themselves as liberal parents. So there's a lot of cognitive dissonance with me, I guess.

But the main thing, my main thing is that if I have to appear to them as someone who is ready to take her decisions and not "docile" as my dad says, whenever we have these arguments, how can I stop myself from just crying?

Because whenever I cry, it gives them an agency and I don't want that. I really want to be able to handle things maturely, but I just don't know. I want to be able to control my emotions.

​

I'm 20F and my sister is 16. We live with our parents. I'm in college in my hometown and I'm working hard towards my financial stability.

My parents have really damaged us emotionally and they'll never realize that. I don't know if I'm supposed to be grateful about this but they're not like that all the time? Majority of the time they're very loving, you know but there have been certain instances, which I won't go into very much detail now, have been traumatic for us.

They've beaten us up, they've called us names for like the most normal things that a teenager can do. And I feel like because of that, I still have to test the boundaries for my freedom. And that's why I am really working on just getting out of here.

But until I'm here, I've noticed that whenever we have arguments or they "scold" us, I know it affects both of us, me and my sister, but for some reason, she shrugs it off. She's able to take it very lightly, or maybe that's her way of coping, to just disregard it?

But for me, I feel it so deeply. I get so hyper and I cry. I feel like there's an sense of always coming back with an answer to defend myself. I feel like that comes from my people pleaser tendencies and being the eldest daughter. And that has reflected so much into other aspects of my life too.

Their mentality is very backward but they've projected themselves as liberal parents. So there's a lot of cognitive dissonance with me, I guess.

But the main thing, my main thing is that if I have to appear to them as someone who is ready to take her decisions and not "docile" as my dad says, whenever we have these arguments, how can I stop myself from just crying?

Because whenever I cry, it gives them an agency and I don't want that. I really want to be able to handle things maturely, but I just don't know. I want to be able to control my emotions.

I'm 20F and my sister is 16. We live with our parents. I'm in college in my hometown and I'm working hard towards my financial stability.

My parents have really damaged us emotionally and they'll never realize that. I don't know if I'm supposed to be grateful about this but they're not like that all the time? Majority of the time they're very loving, you know but there have been certain instances, which I won't go into very much detail now, have been traumatic for us.

They've beaten us up, they've called us names for like the most normal things that a teenager can do. And I feel like because of that, I still have to test the boundaries for my freedom. And that's why I am really working on just getting out of here.

But until I'm here, I've noticed that whenever we have arguments or they "scold" us, I know it affects both of us, me and my sister, but for some reason, she shrugs it off. She's able to take it very lightly, or maybe that's her way of coping, to just disregard it?

But for me, I feel it so deeply. I get so hyper and I cry. I feel like there's an sense of always coming back with an answer to defend myself. I feel like that comes from my people pleaser tendencies and being the eldest daughter. And that has reflected so much into other aspects of my life too.

Their mentality is very backward but they've projected themselves as liberal parents. So there's a lot of cognitive dissonance with me, I guess.

But the main thing, my main thing is that if I have to appear to them as someone who is ready to take her decisions and not "docile" as my dad says, whenever we have these arguments, how can I stop myself from just crying?

Because whenever I cry, it gives them an agency and I don't want that. I really want to be able to handle things maturely, but I just don't know. I want to be able to control my emotions.

​

I'm 20F and my sister is 16. We live with our parents. I'm in college in my hometown and I'm working hard towards my financial stability.

My parents have really damaged us emotionally and they'll never realize that. I don't know if I'm supposed to be grateful about this but they're not like that all the time? Majority of the time they're very loving, you know but there have been certain instances, which I won't go into very much detail now, have been traumatic for us.

They've beaten us up, they've called us names for like the most normal things that a teenager can do. And I feel like because of that, I still have to test the boundaries for my freedom. And that's why I am really working on just getting out of here.

But until I'm here, I've noticed that whenever we have arguments or they "scold" us, I know it affects both of us, me and my sister, but for some reason, she shrugs it off. She's able to take it very lightly, or maybe that's her way of coping, to just disregard it?

But for me, I feel it so deeply. I get so hyper and I cry. I feel like there's an sense of always coming back with an answer to defend myself. I feel like that comes from my people pleaser tendencies and being the eldest daughter. And that has reflected so much into other aspects of my life too.

Their mentality is very backward but they've projected themselves as liberal parents. So there's a lot of cognitive dissonance with me, I guess.

But the main thing, my main thing is that if I have to appear to them as someone who is ready to take her decisions and not "docile" as my dad says, whenever we have these arguments, how can I stop myself from just crying?

Because whenever I cry, it gives them an agency and I don't want that. I really want to be able to handle things maturely, but I just don't know. I want to be able to control my emotions.

I'm 20F and my sister is 16. We live with our parents. I'm in college in my hometown and I'm working hard towards my financial stability.

My parents have really damaged us emotionally and they'll never realize that. I don't know if I'm supposed to be grateful about this but they're not like that all the time? Majority of the time they're very loving, you know but there have been certain instances, which I won't go into very much detail now, have been traumatic for us.

They've beaten us up, they've called us names for like the most normal things that a teenager can do. And I feel like because of that, I still have to test the boundaries for my freedom. And that's why I am really working on just getting out of here.

But until I'm here, I've noticed that whenever we have arguments or they "scold" us, I know it affects both of us, me and my sister, but for some reason, she shrugs it off. She's able to take it very lightly, or maybe that's her way of coping, to just disregard it?

But for me, I feel it so deeply. I get so hyper and I cry. I feel like there's an sense of always coming back with an answer to defend myself. I feel like that comes from my people pleaser tendencies and being the eldest daughter. And that has reflected so much into other aspects of my life too.

Their mentality is very backward but they've projected themselves as liberal parents. So there's a lot of cognitive dissonance with me, I guess.

But the main thing, my main thing is that if I have to appear to them as someone who is ready to take her decisions and not "docile" as my dad says, whenever we have these arguments, how can I stop myself from just crying?

Because whenever I cry, it gives them an agency and I don't want that. I really want to be able to handle things maturely, but I just don't know. I want to be able to control my emotions.

I think i just need a bit of emotional support tbh (':

I (20F) live with my parents in a muslim majority area and I keep trying to stay focused on my future. I study hard because my only real goal right now is to become financially independent and leave. That thought is what keeps me going but until then, I’m stuck here and some days it feels unbearable.

Like it's not even huge things every day, it’s constant small things that build up and make me feel like I can’t breathe.

Today I literally just went outside wearing a loose long shirt. Completely normal clothes. And somehow that became a problem. I can’t laugh too loudly outside. I can’t roam too freely. I have to constantly think about “what will people say” and “girls in our family don’t behave like this.”

Everything somehow comes back to me being a girl and carrying family honor on my back. I’m so tired of being treated like my existence is something that constantly needs to be monitored.

My friends tell me to just rebel or stop caring. I wish it was that simple like my parents can become extremely controlling and invasive and I know my situation could get much worse if I push too hard right now.

So I just comply and wait but I’m so angry too.

They’ve done things growing up that genuinely affected me and my sister deeply and I still carry so much resentment. I hate how I tremble when they raise their voice. I hate how conflict makes me panic. I hate how reserved and people pleasing I’ve become.

I feel like I’m constantly suppressing who I am just to survive in this house.

And that’s what’s exhausting me the most pretending I’m okay, pretending these things don’t affect me, pretending I can just wait patiently while feeling trapped every single time something like this happens.

Whenever these arguments happen, I spiral and start thinking about how badly I want out of here.

I know this phase of life won’t last forever but right now I just feel deeply tired and emotionally worn down.

I just want to know if anyone else has lived like this because I feel incredibly alone. Some hope maybe or positive stories could really help ):

I (20F) live with my parents in a muslim majority area and I keep trying to stay focused on my future. I study hard because my only real goal right now is to become financially independent and leave. That thought is what keeps me going but until then, I’m stuck here and some days it feels unbearable.

Like it's not even huge things every day, it’s constant small things that build up and make me feel like I can’t breathe.

Today I literally just went outside wearing a loose long shirt. Completely normal clothes. And somehow that became a problem. I can’t laugh too loudly outside. I can’t roam too freely. I have to constantly think about “what will people say” and “girls in our family don’t behave like this.”

Everything somehow comes back to me being a girl and carrying family honor on my back. I’m so tired of being treated like my existence is something that constantly needs to be monitored.

My friends tell me to just rebel or stop caring. I wish it was that simple like my parents can become extremely controlling and invasive and I know my situation could get much worse if I push too hard right now.

So I just comply and wait but I’m so angry too.

They’ve done things growing up that genuinely affected me and my sister deeply and I still carry so much resentment. I hate how I tremble when they raise their voice. I hate how conflict makes me panic. I hate how reserved and people pleasing I’ve become.

I feel like I’m constantly suppressing who I am just to survive in this house.

And that’s what’s exhausting me the most pretending I’m okay, pretending these things don’t affect me, pretending I can just wait patiently while feeling trapped every single time something like this happens.

Whenever these arguments happen, I spiral and start thinking about how badly I want out of here.

I know this phase of life won’t last forever but right now I just feel deeply tired and emotionally worn down.

I just want to know if anyone else has lived like this because I feel incredibly alone. Some hope maybe or positive stories could really help ):