u/Western-Raspberry667

I was recently prescribed this after a severe psychotic episode where I almost ended myself, but have been afraid to stay on antipsychotics for long after a bad experience with abilify where I felt like my muscles were heavy and super uncomfortable. But I know I need to take something consistently to control my episodes

Last month , I purchased a gun with intent to go to my (step) sisters work , give her money and some of my grandma's things , and find somewhere away from people to end my life with the gun. Everything was just getting too much with abusive relatives I was living with till I was told to leave , to losing my job , losing my cat who I had his whole life. I felt alone and like nobody loved me or would miss me anyway. I've been told before by my sister not to go to her work and I didn't listen because I was only thinking about ending my own pain. I was so messed up at that moment, I don't think she knew what my intentions with the gun were and it scared her. I wouldn't ever hurt someone I love and I probably shouldn't have tried to hurt myself. I no longer have the gun and I don't ever want another one if it makes people scared of me.. I spent time in the mental hospital for a week , calmed down and feel better in the head. I want to put in the work to get better and stay on medication and in therapy, figure my own life out now. I know I need to learn to heal my fear of abandonment and not cling so much to my sister. It's going to take a long time for me to ever forgive myself, especially if my sister feels unsafe now. She has blocked me for the 2nd time. I feel like a terrible person, because I was stalked myself, I know how scary it feels, and then I did it to someone I love. Is it possible even for someone who has done terrible things and hurt people, to become a better person? I don't want to hurt or scare anyone ever again

I'm 21f and have been on and off in therapy since I was 17. I have a history of physical, emotional and sexual abuse and physical and emotional abandonment. My trauma and emotions have been controlling me my whole life and after my most recent episode which ended me in the mental hospital for trying to end my life, I need things to change. I can't keep living like this and I can't keep hurting myself and my loved ones. I'm trying to climb out of this dark hole I've been in for so long, and I feel different this last hospital stay , maybe it's because I had many supportive and encouraging people telling me I have it in me to heal if I want it. And I do. Is it possible for people with this disorder to heal and take control of their episodes?

I currently don't have a debit card for the next couple weeks ,but I do have cash and still need to get around. Google is being useless which is why I'm posting here

Posting here cause I have nobody to talk to. I'm 21f. I have no real family or friends and live with an emotionally and financially abusive relative who has stolen over $14,000 from me in the last 2 years and before that I lived with another relative who also stole from me. I lost my job because I had a mental breakdown for the 2nd time at work and was told I'm not mentally able to handle working , but I need a job. My agoraphobia is getting so bad I can't even sit in the yard anymore so I'm trapped inside. My favorite person hates me and ignores me for months and they were all I had left. Nobody talks to me , and I feel like I'm going more insane everyday. I'm tired of everyone treating me like I'm a dangerous monster when all I want is for someone to just care how much pain I'm in , and be there for me. Nobody is ever going to love me or want me around and I hate myself for being so crazy and unlovable. I bought my first gun recently and the only thing stopping me is that I'm afraid of shooting myself wrong and suffering more. But I see no way out of this and I'm so tired of being ripped apart by depression every day..

I just had a group of boys follow me about 4 blocks shouting at me , until I got into a gas station. I'm very small/skinny and look 12 , which makes me an easier target. I already have agoraphobia from a previous attack , I don't know where to go to stay safe.. I'm afraid to call the police because I have mental issues and I'm afraid they'll arrest me or hurt me. I have no friends , my sisters work is nearby but she won't be there till 3pm tomorrow, and IDK if she can take me in. I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack I'm so scared

I come from an abusive and neglectful "family". I've never had anyone, no friends or anyone who cared. I developed Borderline personality disorder, and maladaptive daydreaming to ease the loneliness. In 2021 , when I was nearly 17 , my abusive father died and my older sister came back around. She was the 1st person to ever truly be kind to me , to believe me about her father sexually abusing me. I got very attached to her but since she's always busy and I rarely see her in real life, I created a daydream version of her to talk to and hang out with. But now whenever I'm around my real sister, I feel completely numb since I already formed a "bond" with the "her" in my head. I hate it , because she notices and thinks I don't care about her. I don't know how to shut the daydreams off. I'm so lonely when I'm not spending time with her/talking to her , the daydreams are more addictive then any drug I've taken. My surroundings feel unreal. I feel unreal. I hate myself. I want this to stop..

I smoked more weed then normal , felt heat radiating through my chest , got foggy headed and panicked really bad. I couldn't stop shaking. Now it's been a couple hours and I still feel "heat" inside my chest though my other symptoms calmed down. Is this normal or should I be freaked out??

I'm very small and skinny and can't fight off an attacker. In October, I was attacked from behind by a strange man and have been terrified to step foot outside alone since. Today , I had to go to the Laundromat since my washer is broken. A tall black man was using the washer next to me and glanced over at me a few times. My chest got tight and I felt dizzy and like I couldn't breathe or move. I had to have my cousin who came with me finish putting my clothes in the wash and I ran out. I feel bad because I don't want to be racist , I know any person of any race can be a bad person. But I can't trust anyone anymore