u/Winter_Acorn

Hey everyone,

I wanted to open up a discussion about how neurodiversity shapes our understanding of identity and I've been doing a lot of late-night overthinking and wanted to throw this out there to see if it resonates with anyone else.

I have/am diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and autism. I also happen to be agender (I go by any/all pronouns) and aroace. Lately, I've been realizing these parts of my identity aren't just things about me...they feel totally connected to each other.

Because of my autism, the societal constructs of "gender" just feel like rules to a game I never bought into or understood. Gender feels like an arbitrary performance, so being agender and using any/all pronouns feels like the lowest-friction way to just exist without masking. To me, gender feels entirely external, which is why "agender" fits me perfectly...and why I genuinely don't care what pronouns people use for me.

On top of that, my ADHD and anxiety mean my brain is already completely exhausted trying to perform social interactions. I don't have the mental RAM left to care about performing gender or seeking out dating/romance. I don't feel tied to those around me who aren't family, I don't feel connection to those who aren't family, and I don't experience the societal scripts for attraction, at all.

I know that there's some high overlap between neurodivergence and LGBT+ identities, but I'd love to hear some first-hand experiences.

For those who are also neurodivergent and LGBT+: do you view these as separate traits, or do they feel connected to each other?

Hey everyone,

I wanted to open up a discussion about how neurodiversity shapes our understanding of identity and I've been doing a lot of late-night overthinking and wanted to throw this out there to see if it resonates with anyone else.

I have/am diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and autism. I also happen to be agender (I go by any/all pronouns) and aroace. Lately, I've been realizing these parts of my identity aren't just things about me...they feel totally connected to each other.

Because of my autism, the societal constructs of "gender" just feel like rules to a game I never bought into or understood. Gender feels like an arbitrary performance, so being agender and using any/all pronouns feels like the lowest-friction way to just exist without masking. To me, gender feels entirely external, which is why "agender" fits me perfectly...and why I genuinely don't care what pronouns people use for me.

On top of that, my ADHD and anxiety mean my brain is already completely exhausted trying to perform social interactions. I don't have the mental RAM left to care about performing gender or seeking out dating/romance. I don't feel tied to those around me who aren't family, I don't feel connection to those who aren't family, and I don't experience the societal scripts for attraction, at all.

I know that there's some high overlap between neurodivergence and LGBT+ identities, but I'd love to hear some first-hand experiences.

For those who are also neurodivergent and LGBT+: do you view these as separate traits, or do they feel connected to each other?

I'm aplatonic and aroace but I've had a lot of friends, bestfriends, boyfriends, and girlfriends. To me there are people in a sea of people. People will come; they'll go and more will come in to replace them, and it's fun, don't get me wrong, but then they get boring and they stop being fun and entertaining or they start getting serious my attention will go elsewhere. The only people I love and feel connection to is my family, they have been here my whole life, and they are the reason I am myself, I just feel so much belonging with them.

I think the cause of me not really noticing people who aren't my family is because of my ADHD, I think it's also the reason I drop people when I get bored, I just can't pay attention to things that don't interest me, which includes anything and all the things I do. For example, in school if I find a topic interesting, I always get a better score than when I find a topic boring, then I'll either skip it or get a bad grade.

I'm also agender and I have anxiety (I have low self-esteem, I avoid attention, I hate group activities because I hate myself and everyone must hate me too, I think part of my anxiety is caused by my identity, if anyone finds out how I identify or about my mental disorders they'll hate me and I'll get bullied verbally and physically, I worry all the time about how other view me, and I hate myself essentially and therefore everyone must hate me too).

I'm also autistic, which I think is why I'm agender and why I feel disconnected from people who aren't family. People are alien and I can't understand them most the time, that's probably why I feel disconnected from them, but even then, I don't connect to other neurodivergent people, they too are alien and I can't understand them, the only people that I feel speak my language is my family.

Sorry if this is cringe or if it doesn't make sense, I just wanted to see if others my age are like this?

Name: Charlie

Nationality: American

Pronouns: Any/all

Sexuality: Asexual

Gender: Agender

MBTI: Changes every time

Favorite animal: Fox

Zodiac: Sagittarius

Favorite colors: Black and green

Age: Sixteen

My interest includes the following: The Elder Scrolls (I'm as old as Skyrim and have spent my whole life with Skyrim, Skyrim was the first Elder Scrolls game I played, and my parents started letting me play the game when I was five), Resident Evil (I got into Resident Evil and played my first Resident Evil game when I was seven, the game was Resident Evil Biohazard) and Crash Bandicoot.

Random stuff: I'm aplatonic and aromantic, I love the song Aromantic Moodboard by Max Lizanich, I'm allofamilial, I'm emo, I'm atheist, I've got ADHD, anxiety, and autism.

Ask me anything!

I have a lack of attention to details; I have difficulty staying on task, I have trouble listening, I lack the ability to follow-through, I'm disorganized, I procrastinate, I lose things often, I'm easily distracted, I'm forgetful, I fidget, I get out of my seat often in situations where it isn't appropriate, I'm restless and have a hard time falling asleep, I have difficulty engaging in activities that bore me, I'm always on-the-go, I talk excessively, I blurt out random stuff and don't finish my sentences, I have difficulty waiting in lines, and I interrupt and intrude on others.

All this to say, I'm beginning to realize people hate me, I feel a huge disconnect from others who aren't my blood/bio family, in-laws, or adopted.

To me other people aren't real, they serve no purpose, they are simply there, they exist to entertain me and if they stop being fun, I leave.

People can't stand me, I'm often told to stop running around, to talk and speak like a normal person, to act appropriately in public, and I can do it for my family but if someone else says it, I feel this lack of care for them, they don't matter, they aren't my family.

There are people in a sea of people, if I feel lonely, I'll just get a new friend or a new lover, to me it's not that hard, and when I get bored of them, I'll drop them and move on to someone else.

I feel like a horrible person now. How do I fix this?

I'm sixteen, if that's important and atheist, sorta.

I don't believe that God or gods exist, I'm also not spiritual but I also admit I could be wrong.

Do I think I'm wrong, hell nah, I'm 100% right in my opinion.

Anyways, I've seen a lot of anti-theist stuff recently and was thinking, so, let's just say all religions were made by a bunch of assholes who thought; "Yeah let's just wright a bunch of shit and call it God's will/the will of the gods or whatever." and let's just say far into the future we destroy all religion.

Won't someone eventually come around again, make some bullshit up, and have religion exist again. It seems to be in humanities nature for there to be a higher purpose to life, for there to be a being how created you and loves you and if you're good you get a cookie and all that shit.

So, I feel like instead of destroying all religion wouldn't it be better to just spread the idea that no matter if the person is atheist, black, or a fucking therian, that they should be kind?

Sorry, if this doesn't make sense. I'm growing up in an evangelical neighborhood full of religious racists. They are sexist and are anti-LGBT+ which sucks for me because I am the A in the alphabet mafia. So, I understand why people hate them and I feel like it would be easier to hate them, but I will never be like them, and I will never stoop down to their level.

I'll do better and be better than them.

I'm thinking of coming out to my parents someday (they say they're not anti-LGBTQ+ but clearly are) so most likely they know little more than lesbian and gay, so would it be bad to say it's similar to being lesbian or bi?

For aroace people! These are just random questions so that people will actually talk about themselves to me! I don't care if you answer any of these questions or if you talk about fitting some aro and/or ace stereotypes...you could also just talk about being aro and/or ace.

Do you think aroace people rarely/never identify as pansexual?

Do you think sunsets are the best?

Are you desperate for LGBTQ+ merch?

Do you find puns really funny?

Did it take long to accept your aromanticism and/or asexuality (took me five days)?

Are you agender?

Do you think it is common for aroace people to identify as bisexual?

Do you love magic?

Is your sexuality change fast as hell (you just can't accept it being aro and/or ace)?

Can't figure out what sexuality you are half of the time?

Are you a transgender man/woman?

Do you view ace of spades themed items as asexual themed instead?

Do you like being single and outer space?

Do you like saying "bro" dude" or "homie"?

Do you have no idea when you'll get a date or even if you'll get one?

Are you an artist?

Are you great at knowing/understanding orientations?

Did you say, "Screw it" and made your own aroace accessory?

Did you have confusion between being asexual and aroflux at least once?

Are you surprisingly not aromantic?

Have you been told "Isn't that just pan/bi?"

Have you ever met an aroace in real life?

Do you think card games are awesome (I do!)?

Are you still closeted to family?

Do you identify as heterosexual because you are heterosexual or because you need to keep the mask up?

I have never (sexually) liked girls, and I'm always switching between being gay and being ace, never really anything else, so I'm wondering if there's a more specific name/sexually that describes that or if I'm still just aroace.

I'm not mad but I made a post about my identity on r/SillyTeens and when some of the commenters responded with feeling empathy or sympathy to me being aplatonic, as in they felt bad for me and felt sorry that I couldn't love or feel connection with my friends, I felt shocked.

I honestly couldn't believe that they felt sad about it, like it was a bad thing!

For me friends/lovers are people in a sea of people, they come, they leave and more come in after them. Life is constantly moving or...maybe I'm the one constantly moving. I can't stay in one place. I can't stay with the same people or maybe the same people can't stay with me!

The same cannot be said for family in my case.

My family has been with me since I was born, they have loved me no matter what and I love them back no matter what. I feel a very, VERY strong connection to my family. I hate being away from them to the point where I often cry.

I love doing anything and all the things with my family. If I could I would spend every moment of every day with them.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense!

A-spec people are the nicest people I've ever met.

It might just be because I'm agender, aplatonic, and aroace that makes people nice to me because we share the same or similar identities, but I'm allofamilial and have never met a mean afamilial person.

I'm just curious why do a-spec people seem so accepting and nice to me compared to people who aren't?

I love this book trilogy called Foxcraft and I know there isn't much aplatonic representation but, while this is a headcanon, I do like viewing Isla as aplatonic which is part of the reason she is confused by the wolves in the series (the wolves in the series come off as very platonormative).

It's not canon and the author probably doesn't view her that way, but I like viewing her that way.

It's also very possible I like projecting my own identity onto characters, sometimes.

Name: Charlie

Nationality: American

Pronouns: Any/all

Sexuality: Asexual

Gender: Agender

MBTI: It keeps changing

Favorite animal: Fox

Zodiac: Sagittarius

Favorite colors: Black and green

Age: 16

Style: Emo

I love nail polish, neon stuff, makeup, beanies, hoodies, and space!

I hate accessories (Necklaces, watches, glasses, etc.)!

Why do people seem to hate people who don't feel any form of love or attraction beyond sexual?

Like, so what if they are afamilial, aplatonic, and aromantic but still allosexual?

Are they hurting you/someone? Are they hurting themselves? Are they hurting a child?

No? Then fuck off.

EDIT: Not important but I'm aplatonic, aroace, and allofamilal.

I'm fifteen and on the first of June my family went to Arby's, and my little brother was talking about straight characters that do a lot of gay stuff, because my entire family has ADHD the conversation flipped from that to a lot of other conversations that had to do with attraction and relationships until it finally landed on my father talking about stupid stuff he did in high school and his high school relationships.

I don't know why but I felt very disconnected from the conversation because while my brother is in middle school he can relate to feeling attraction to people at least sometimes. While I cannot, in fact I can't understand feeling love or connection to someone who isn't my blood/bio family.

So, I decided to say a simple "Yeah, I just don't get why people feel the need to do stupid stuff to impress their crushes."

And I also thought that my father didn't like that I was aroace but he just brought it up. I always thought he didn't like that I was aplatonic and aroace, but in that moment he seemed 100% fine with it.

I was so happy!

Imagine you're the Dragonborn and you just finished dealing with Mercer. Let's also say that you've already did some of the Dark Brotherhood quests and you're at the point where you have to do the "To Kill an Empire" quest.

Man, that would suck. First, you get dunked on by Mercer and then Astrid. I would have trust issues if those events happened back-to-back like that.

Hey everyone,

I've been thinking about a fun "what if" scenario lately and wanted to get the community's thoughts.

Imagine a world like our modern-day society, but the Daedric Princes from Elder Scrolls exist. Would anything really be different in a world that has technology, our world's culture, and our daily lives instead of a fantasy setting's.

In a world driven by social media, global politics, advanced tech, and constant connectivity, how would Daedric Princes impact people?

Tell me if this is the wrong place to post stuff like this!