u/ZytheReddit

(reposted from my other recent post)

I came out to my friends as gay/homosexual back in february 2026. some of them have mixed reactions, some of them accept me. later on, I came out to my group chat which didn't really accepted me that well. they told me to go back as straight or that ask (rude way) if I could be normal. fast forward today, they claim that they aren't homophobic, but they still make gay jokes and just assuming that gay guys only want their dicks.

not only that, I live in a *homophobic?* country (Indonesia) which means I have a tougher situation with my surroundings. although I have met a few gay/LGBTQIA+ people from Indonesia online, the reality is still harsh. most of the people in Indonesia are very harsh towards LGBTQIA+, with some even dedicate their lives to making fun of them. and I'm mostly chinese, which makes it harder for me since there are still alot of discriminations.

even in my family I don't feel accepted. my mom is actually homophobic. she doesn't like gay/homosexual people at all and said that they shouldn't play in movies or anything (indirectly), it's because the bible says so or something.

being a minority is already hard enough, now add being christian in a muslim country. it just adds pain to the injury. some christians say to keep praying to God to heal you or something, but I don't feel like that will help. I've been liking men since I was a kid or so, and was in denial till this year when I came out to my friends as gay. it's hard enough being a queer.

sometimes I ask, what if God made me like this? even so, I'd go back and forth with my thoughts. my mom is a single mother, so I don't know if my dad will support me or not since they were divorced. when I was still in denial, I'd go back and forth saying "no I can't be a homosexual" and "what if I am?". it genuinely felt like my mind was in pieces about my sexuality.

as a 14 year old, I'm still "in the closet" to my mom, my sister, and my whole family. I only came out to the ones who I felt trusted with. don't get me wrong, I trust my mom, but like I said, she's kinda homophobic. I still follow Christianity, but I feel dirty and just unworthy for him, honestly.

I came out to my friends as gay/homosexual back in february 2026. some of them have mixed reactions, some of them accept me. later on, I came out to my group chat which didn't really accepted me that well. they told me to go back as straight or that ask (rude way) if I could be normal. fast forward today, they claim that they aren't homophobic, but they still make gay jokes and just assuming that gay guys only want their dicks.

not only that, I live in a homophobic? country (Indonesia) which means I have a tougher situation with my surroundings. although I have met a few gay/LGBTQIA+ people from Indonesia online, the reality is still harsh. most of the people in Indonesia are very harsh towards LGBTQIA+, with some even dedicate their lives to making fun of them. and I'm mostly chinese, which makes it harder for me since there are still alot of discriminations.

even in my family I don't feel accepted. my mom is actually homophobic. she doesn't like gay/homosexual people at all and said that they shouldn't play in movies or anything (indirectly), it's because the bible says so or something.

being a minority is already hard enough, now add being christian in a muslim country. it just adds pain to the injury. some christians say to keep praying to God to heal you or something, but I don't feel like that will help. I've been liking men since I was a kid or so, and was in denial till this year when I came out to my friends as gay. it's hard enough being a queer.