u/aaphylla

Does anyone know much about the full panel (single-gene disorders and micro deletions)? A genetic counsellor I spoke with said this is a fairly new offering, and didn’t have any information other than a single basic printout about the test, so I’d love to hear anyone’s experience with it. In particular, if you know of any true (or false) positive results, and what sort of technology it uses and how that differs from other tests (is it potentially better and more accurate?).

Also, I’m wondering if it’s slang when talking to patients to call Mb ‘megabytes’, or if she is mistaken? Because it really put me off and I couldn’t concentrate on the conversation afterwards, thinking surely she must know it’s mega bases? I’ve had a previous appointment where the same thing happened (same counsellor) so it wasn’t a once off.

Has anyone done the full panel (single-gene disorders and micro deletions)? How long was the turnaround time? A genetic counsellor I spoke to said this is a fairly new offering so I’d love to hear anyone’s experience with it.

Has anyone done the full panel (single-gene disorders and micro deletions)? How long was the turnaround time? A genetic counsellor I spoke to said this is a fairly new offering so I’d love to hear anyone’s experience with it.

Edit: thank you SO much everyone, I feel so relieved waking up to read these comments!

Is anyone else having heart palpitations? I had some a week ago, googled it and it seemed common and normal enough, so I moved on. But yesterday afternoon through until bedtime (and now as I write this at 4am) my heart is doing a pounding beat sometimes every second beat, which is starting to concern me. It feels weird and too much. I’ll see if I can get in to see the doctor tomorrow but I’m not sure how worried I should be.

I’m on thyroxine (upped to 175 mg for pregnancy) but last TSH check showed it was in range and not hyperthyroid (though I will check it again soon). I did go to the gym yesterday which might have brought it on, but surely it should’ve stopped pounding away once my heart rate came down.

I also happen to have a scan booked tomorrow so hopefully I will see the baby is ok.

Anyone have this and it was normal/fine?

I have been on the bad side of the odds too many times. With my son we did the basic NIPT and everything was great and he’s perfect. I worried, but I told myself the odds that he’d be healthy were on our side.

Since then so much has happened (a high risk NIPT and TFMR, which led us down a whole other traumatic path), and now I can’t relax with this pregnancy. I feel like if I don’t get all the testing I can and something is wrong, I’ll always blame myself. But I’m also aware if I do the more extensive NIPT (microdeletions especially) that there’s a possibility I’ll get a false positive as they’re known for that, and I’d need to have invasive diagnostic testing with its small risk. I feel so stressed about this decision and I have about one more week to decide what to do.

The chance of something being wrong is small, but having been on the wrong side of statistics a few times, it feels inevitable (even though rationally I know that isn’t true).

Did anyone get the extended panel and it was fine? Or, how did you accept a standard NIPT low risk result and just relax and not think about it anymore (and not wonder what else might have been missed since it only tests for a handful of things)?

It’s flu season where I am and I would like to get vaccinated soon, but I’m feeling worried that it might not be good for the developing baby or something, despite rationally knowing it’s safe and well-documented, and GETTING the flu is more dangerous.

Still, haven’t brought myself to actually book it in. I said I’d wait until my first scan which was yesterday. Anyone else had it yet?

Edit: thanks everyone, getting it ASAP

Despite telling the doctor and nurses that it’s pasteurised milk and I can tell pretty well if there’s something not quite right about a batch, they told me to stop. My grains are frozen now and I have to abstain for the next 9 months. Miss it already!

I’ve read a couple of stories here where women continued to drink it so I was hopeful it would be ok. They cite unknown alcohol level and contamination as the reasons they want me to stop.

Anyone have any positive stories about continuing and it not affecting your child?

Drink a glass for me 🥛

I was told by HR while on unpaid parental leave that if I had another baby during that leave, I would qualify for paid parental leave at the full time rate like I did with my first (I was working full time).

I’ve since returned to work under a flexible working arrangement at 0.4 FTE. From my reading of clause 47.15(a): ‘An Employee entitled to paid parental leave is to be paid according to their ordinary working hours at the commencement of parental leave’, it sounds like l will be penalised for having coming back to work on temporarily reduced hours and then going on maternity leave for another baby. I’ll ask HR on Monday but it seems a bit backwards.

Would you assume ‘ordinary working hours’ means substantive position hours or temporary agreement hours? Wouldn’t they want to incentivise people to come back to work sooner? Thanks

I (39F) today found my husband (49M) had been accessing adult chat rooms again. He did it around 8 months ago and I said if it happens again I’m out. He’s always looked at porn which I don’t like, but he’ll say he won’t look at it and then I’ll go searching and find it. I kind of gave up because he would say every guy watches it and would explain it away.

I find the chat rooms way worse. I’m sure he accesses them on his phone way more often than his computer but it’s set to private mode so I have no way of finding evidence. Last time he said he’d change, that he’s a porn addict, he’s glad he got caught because now he can deal with it etc. He went to counselling for a while but then that became a drag and he never did any of the homework. Just ticked the box by going. Then came the complaints and how I basically took porn away from him and he has nothing interesting in his life anymore. He’s also had depression for probably 1.5 years but is resistant to doing anything about it. He’s on medication now because I pushed for multiple appointments for him but any time I try to help he shuts me down and gets annoyed.

Fast forward, here we are again where he’s broken my barely-there trust. I’d be gone tomorrow but we have a young child together. To complicate things even further, I’ve been through absolute hell for 2+ years losing babies and doing IVF due to a genetic condition my husband carries that we were unaware of. He has been so unsupportive throughout due to the depression (or his selfishness, I don’t know where one ends and the other begins) - and I’m newly pregnant.

I’m worrying about the stress on the baby as it’s very early days. I can’t emphasise enough how rough this time has been for me. I am proud of myself and the resilience I have gained and shown. He on the other hand seems to be throwing his hands up and saying life sucks, I can’t do anything about it, it’s boring, there’s nothing exciting in life anymore, all I do is chores and parent. I’ve suggested so many times to pick up a hobby or just try to get out and do something (he can’t do the hobbies he used to do in exactly the way he wants to due to an injury - so if he can’t do it that way, he doesn’t want to do it at all - very closed off).
In general, I describe it as I have a growth mindset and he has a fixed mindset.

We definitely rushed into things when we met. At the time I didn’t want kids and he didn’t care either way. That quickly changed when something switched for me and I changed my mind - and our son is the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I love him more than words.

As people, I’m a lot more careful and considered and more educated than my husband. He used to be in his words ‘laid back, carefree, easygoing’. If I had my time again I would not jump in so soon and I definitely had hesitations about it back then because I knew my level-headed self deep down was saying ‘it’s too soon!’. But time was ticking and like I said, I regret nothing in that sense because I have my son. We are very different people. Before all of this happened that was not a problem, but because we have had so much hardship for years now, that wedge has become so large.

I should also say he’s into extreme sexual stuff and I’m vanilla. I told him I’d be open to trying things but he doesn’t want to unless it’s coming from me (I find dirty talk really difficult and awkward even though I enjoy it if it comes from him, but I can’t respond as it’s just not natural, and unless I come up with it on my own he doesn’t want to do it). He says he finds zero emotional intimacy in sex and it is purely physical for him. He has said he wouldn’t care if we didn’t do it again. He says he enjoys it when we do it but he is lazy and doesn’t make time for it and would rather watch a show. I feel sex is important in a relationship for feeling close to the person. He thinks seducing someone is cringey, and only done in the movies. Like his way of initiating sex which is once in a blue moon is saying ‘ooh let’s f\\\*\\\*k’ and doing some kind of gesture and grabbing at me. He doesn’t ever make out with me or kiss me or try to turn me on. I’ve explained many times what I like but he doesn’t do it.

Back to the cheating - which is what I consider it - I told him it’s over. I don’t want to keep saying I’ll leave and then not do it because he will know then that that is acceptable behaviour from him. It’s not healthy to not be able to trust your partner in my opinion. The thing I am stuck on is that we both said we would never break up the family and it is such an important thing for me to give my son a stable upbringing with two parents in the home. I know seeing parents who aren’t loving towards each other is not ideal. I am just devastated that this is where we are. He is so selfish. He blew everything up for some sexual gratification. It’s really hard for me to say that I even like him anymore.

P.S. I’ve vented all the negative stuff and left out the positives, so it may come off a bit skewed. There are things that when he wasn’t depressed, didn’t bother me. He was silly and fun and great with our child. He got up and fed him overnight and was a good partner before this rough period. I am just DRAINED from how things have been. I told myself once we got past this IVF hell things would get better. If he hadn’t been to the chat rooms I can get past the sex life stuff and other mismatches. Deep down I do love him. I’ve always been and would always be faithful and choose him over anyone else. He has made improvements in some areas and has genuinely tried, too. I appreciated that. But I feel I gave him everything and he threw it away.

Tl;dr - husband has broken my trust again by accessing adult chat rooms which I consider cheating. Have young child together and I’m newly pregnant

I (39F) today found my husband (49M) had been accessing adult chat rooms again. He did it around 8 months ago and I said if it happens again I’m out. He’s always looked at porn which I don’t like, but he’ll say he won’t look at it and then I’ll go searching and find it. I kind of gave up because he would say every guy watches it and would explain it away.

I find the chat rooms way worse. I’m sure he accesses them on his phone way more often than his computer but it’s set to private mode so I have no way of finding evidence. Last time he said he’d change, that he’s a porn addict, he’s glad he got caught because now he can deal with it etc. He went to counselling for a while but then that became a drag and he never did any of the homework. Just ticked the box by going. Then came the complaints and how I basically took porn away from him and he has nothing interesting in his life anymore. He’s also had depression for probably 1.5 years but is resistant to doing anything about it. He’s on medication now because I pushed for multiple appointments for him but any time I try to help he shuts me down and gets annoyed.

Fast forward, here we are again where he’s broken my barely-there trust. I’d be gone tomorrow but we have a young child together. To complicate things even further, I’ve been through absolute hell for 2+ years losing babies and doing IVF due to a genetic condition my husband carries that we were unaware of. He has been so unsupportive throughout due to the depression (or his selfishness, I don’t know where one ends and the other begins) - and I’m newly pregnant.

I’m worrying about the stress on the baby as it’s very early days. I can’t emphasise enough how rough this time has been for me. I am proud of myself and the resilience I have gained and shown. He on the other hand seems to be throwing his hands up and saying life sucks, I can’t do anything about it, it’s boring, there’s nothing exciting in life anymore, all I do is chores and parent. I’ve suggested so many times to pick up a hobby or just try to get out and do something (he can’t do the hobbies he used to do in exactly the way he wants to due to an injury - so if he can’t do it that way, he doesn’t want to do it at all - very closed off).
In general, I describe it as I have a growth mindset and he has a fixed mindset.

We definitely rushed into things when we met. At the time I didn’t want kids and he didn’t care either way. That quickly changed when something switched for me and I changed my mind - and our son is the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I love him more than words.

As people, I’m a lot more careful and considered and more educated than my husband. He used to be in his words ‘laid back, carefree, easygoing’. If I had my time again I would not jump in so soon and I definitely had hesitations about it back then because I knew my level-headed self deep down was saying ‘it’s too soon!’. But time was ticking and like I said, I regret nothing in that sense because I have my son. We are very different people. Before all of this happened that was not a problem, but because we have had so much hardship for years now, that wedge has become so large.

I should also say he’s into extreme sexual stuff and I’m vanilla. I told him I’d be open to trying things but he doesn’t want to unless it’s coming from me (I find dirty talk really difficult and awkward even though I enjoy it if it comes from him, but I can’t respond as it’s just not natural, and unless I come up with it on my own he doesn’t want to do it). He says he finds zero emotional intimacy in sex and it is purely physical for him. He has said he wouldn’t care if we didn’t do it again. He says he enjoys it when we do it but he is lazy and doesn’t make time for it and would rather watch a show. I feel sex is important in a relationship for feeling close to the person. He thinks seducing someone is cringey, and only done in the movies. Like his way of initiating sex which is once in a blue moon is saying ‘ooh let’s f\*\*k’ and doing some kind of gesture and grabbing at me. He doesn’t ever make out with me or kiss me or try to turn me on. I’ve explained many times what I like but he doesn’t do it.

Back to the cheating - which is what I consider it - I told him it’s over. I don’t want to keep saying I’ll leave and then not do it because he will know then that that is acceptable behaviour from him. It’s not healthy to not be able to trust your partner in my opinion. The thing I am stuck on is that we both said we would never break up the family and it is such an important thing for me to give my son a stable upbringing with two parents in the home. I know seeing parents who aren’t loving towards each other is not ideal. I am just devastated that this is where we are. He is so selfish. He blew everything up for some sexual gratification. It’s really hard for me to say that I even like him anymore.

Edited to add: I’ve vented all the negative stuff and left out the positives, so it may come off a bit skewed. There are things that when he wasn’t depressed, didn’t bother me. He was silly and fun. I am DRAINED from how things have been for so long now. I told myself once we got past this IVF hell things would get better. If he hadn’t been to the chat rooms I can get past the sex life stuff and other mismatches. Deep down I do love him and I’ve always been and would always be faithful. He has made improvements in some areas and has genuinely tried, too. I appreciated that. But I feel I gave someone everything and they threw it away.

Tl;dr - husband has broken my trust again by accessing adult chat rooms which I consider cheating. Have young child together and I’m newly pregnant

I (39F) today found my husband (49M) had been accessing adult chat rooms again. He did it around 8 months ago and I said if it happens again I’m out. He’s always looked at porn which I don’t like, but he’ll say he won’t look at it and then I’ll go searching and find it. I kind of gave up because he would say every guy watches it and would explain it away.

I find the chat rooms way worse. I’m sure he accesses them on his phone way more often than his computer but it’s set to private mode so I have no way of finding evidence. Last time he said he’d change, that he’s a porn addict, he’s glad he got caught because now he can deal with it etc. He went to counselling for a while but then that became a drag and he never did any of the homework. Just ticked the box by going. Then came the complaints and how I basically took porn away from him and he has nothing interesting in his life anymore. He’s also had depression for probably 1.5 years but is resistant to doing anything about it. He’s on medication now because I pushed for multiple appointments for him but any time I try to help he shuts me down and gets annoyed.

Fast forward, here we are again where he’s broken my barely-there trust. I’d be gone tomorrow but we have a young child together. To complicate things even further, I’ve been through absolute hell for 2+ years losing babies and doing IVF due to a genetic condition my husband carries that we were unaware of. He has been so unsupportive throughout due to the depression (or his selfishness, I don’t know where one ends and the other begins) - and I’m newly pregnant.

I’m worrying about the stress on the baby as it’s very early days. I can’t emphasise enough how rough this time has been for me. I am proud of myself and the resilience I have gained and shown. He on the other hand seems to be throwing his hands up and saying life sucks, I can’t do anything about it, it’s boring, there’s nothing exciting in life anymore, all I do is chores and parent. I’ve suggested so many times to pick up a hobby or just try to get out and do something (he can’t do the hobbies he used to do in exactly the way he wants to due to an injury - so if he can’t do it that way, he doesn’t want to do it at all - very closed off).
In general, I describe it as I have a growth mindset and he has a fixed mindset.

We definitely rushed into things when we met. At the time I didn’t want kids and he didn’t care either way. That quickly changed when something switched for me and I changed my mind - and our son is the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I love him more than words.

As people, I’m a lot more careful and considered and more educated than my husband. He used to be in his words ‘laid back, carefree, easygoing’. If I had my time again I would not jump in so soon and I definitely had hesitations about it back then because I knew my level-headed self deep down was saying ‘it’s too soon!’. But time was ticking and like I said, I regret nothing in that sense because I have my son. We are very different people. Before all of this happened that was not a problem, but because we have had so much hardship for years now, that wedge has become so large.

I should also say he’s into extreme sexual stuff and I’m vanilla. I told him I’d be open to trying things but he doesn’t want to unless it’s coming from me (I find dirty talk really difficult and awkward even though I enjoy it if it comes from him, but I can’t respond as it’s just not natural, and unless I come up with it on my own he doesn’t want to do it). He says he finds zero emotional intimacy in sex and it is purely physical for him. He has said he wouldn’t care if we didn’t do it again. He says he enjoys it when we do it but he is lazy and doesn’t make time for it and would rather watch a show. I feel sex is important in a relationship for feeling close to the person. He thinks seducing someone is cringey, and only done in the movies. Like his way of initiating sex which is once in a blue moon is saying ‘ooh let’s f**k’ and doing some kind of gesture and grabbing at me. He doesn’t ever make out with me or kiss me or try to turn me on. I’ve explained many times what I like but he doesn’t do it.

Back to the cheating - which is what I consider it - I told him it’s over. I don’t want to keep saying I’ll leave and then not do it because he will know then that that is acceptable behaviour from him. It’s not healthy to not be able to trust your partner in my opinion. The thing I am stuck on is that we both said we would never break up the family and it is such an important thing for me to give my son a stable upbringing with two parents in the home. I know seeing parents who aren’t loving towards each other is not ideal. I am just devastated that this is where we are. He is so selfish. He blew everything up for some sexual gratification. It’s really hard for me to say that I even like him anymore.

Edited to add: I’ve vented all the negative stuff and left out the positives, so it may come off a bit skewed. There are things that when he wasn’t depressed, didn’t bother me. He was silly and fun. I am DRAINED from how things have been for so long now. I told myself once we got past this IVF hell things would get better. If he hadn’t been to the chat rooms I can get past the sex life stuff and other mismatches. Deep down I do love him and I’ve always been and would always be faithful. He has made improvements in some areas and has genuinely tried, too. I appreciated that. But I feel I gave someone everything and they threw it away.

Curious to hear others’ experiences

My clinic isn’t giving me any explanation - I can’t speak to the specialist, only nurses.

Transfer is booked for tomorrow so I promise I won’t post anything else after this 😅 Just in desperate need of reassurance that it’s a plausible course to follow.

Everything I’ve read says it should be 6 or 7 days post trigger. Because they *assume* I surged Thursday (didn’t have bloods that day, but LH was 2 Wednesday then 26 Friday. I triggered 4:30 pm Friday. Transfer is Wednesday 11:00 am. Progesterone pessaries started Sunday.

Please tell me this is fine 😖

I did two months of suppression for endo (probable) and adeno. Clinic had me wait for a period before doing a transfer so it took 3 months from my last injection (so I guess 2 months for things to wake up).

My lining last Friday was 13mm, 21mm follicle, estrogen was in low 300s pmol/L (so 80 something pg/mL in US units?) LH was 26 and progesterone 2 (so 0.63 equivalent US). I was on 25 units of Gonal f for maybe 6 days and then increased to 50 units per day. They had me trigger with Ovidrel Friday night (the night of the scan and those blood results) for a Wednesday transfer. They have me on 2mg estradiol three times a day plus progesterone pessaries 400mg twice a day, and aspirin. I did an Ovidrel boost today (Monday). I’ve since learnt that the amount of estradiol I’m on is the same as fully medicated?

I’m wondering is this is normal, and if the trigger and transfer timing is right (day 5 embryo) - and also if my body will reduce the amount of estrogen and progesterone it’s making because of the exogenous forms? It looks like they’ll continue me on estrogen after transfer, but I haven’t confirmed this (it just says so in the app).

Maybe overthinking here because it’s my first transfer after 1.5 years of IVF.

Mine was originally going to be 50 iu but is now only 25 iu. The clinic has closed for the day so I can’t ask them about it until tomorrow. It seems… too low?

I’m so frustrated. My last Zoladex (Lupron) injection was 19th February. It’s now 9th May and I have no period yet and haven’t even ATTEMPTED a transfer. I’m so in my head that I went through all that and it’s almost halfway through 2026 and it’s all for absolutely nothing. I’m so frustrated and stuck in limbo. I was on very low dose Gonal and my estrogen was low, so I guess the clinic didn’t take the tracking so seriously or something, and then apparently I ovulated. Oh, oops. Try again next time. Is this period ever going to come and do I even have any suppression benefits left at this point? I want to scream.

Edited to add that I am doing a modified natural and my specialist wanted to wait for a period first (but then when nothing was happening I pushed for going ahead without one, hence starting the Gonal

Please tell me your success stories if there are any. How many months after your last injection did you have a successful transfer? Feeling defeated.