u/afrutadasrosas

I'm kind of lost with which public Catholic figures to follow and trust. I really like bishop Barron even though he may have some issues. Fr. Chris Alar too.

But I can't tell if Fr. Mike Schmitz is trustworthy because of what my friend said made me doubt but I'm sad because I really like him.

My friend, who is very wise and knowledgeable and Catholic, told me not to listen to him and that he is very prideful and lacking in wisdom which influences his teachings, but I still think he has good things to offer. I know even knowledgeable people can be wrong sometimes so I don't know if my friend is right.

I'm really confused on how to discern which people I should trust to listen to about my Catholic faith.

I struggle making friends but I'm going to try to attend a social gathering with people my age soon. I can't describe the heartache and how painful it is when I see or think about people who have friendship and who have support and attention from people around them. I've never had a loving relationship like that. It sometimes makes me cry my eyes out. My cousins came over and were talking about how they do everything together, watch tv together, draw and study together, and stay up all night talking a lot.

They literally do almost everything together, I'm not exaggerating. I know this is true because over the last decade I've been going over to their place frequently and they come over to mine frequently too and I constantly witness their friendship and closeness including with their family and it makes me cry because I wish I had the same relationship with my sister and family. It feels like I am stabbed in the heart.

I know it isn't realistic to expect to have such a perfect relationship as my cousins have but I just want something close enough to it.

Another problem is, I was raised by my grandmother, so she is my mother to me. She had to move an hour away when I was 5 or 6. I remember the loss, the grief. I would cry and cry. My mom barely let her be around me. She is an immigrant and struggled to speak English so this made life hard for her, but my mom was selfish. I would never do this. Like, when I see my grandmother now who lives with my aunt taking care of her kids with a happy enough life, though I want her to come back and live with me, I do not wish it upon her and only wish for her to stay in Orlando so she can be happy, because if she lives here it would be too depressing and lonely. I am willing to make difficult sacrifices out of love. But why didn't my mother? Is it different because of the mother-child dynamic?

This was my mom's decision. She had depression and could barely get out of bed so she left ALL the raising to my grandmother, so she was my caretaker and she gave me lots of love. My mom kicked her out of our home because she noticed our relationship was much more than grandmother and granddaughter, so she didn't want me to bond with my grandmother anymore since she wanted me to bond with her even though she barely spent time with me. She thought that not having my grandmother to rely on to take care of me would motivate her to take care of me. All I remember after my grandma left was often seeing my mom depressed in bed and feeling all alone in my home, with no one. My dad constantly works, and my grandmother was no longer there. I clearly remember the pain and loneliness, wondering why my mom wouldn't get out of bed, and why I was partially neglected.

After a few years she moved even farther away to my aunt's home because she had just had children and needed help. My grief was horrible. My grandmother has lived with them for over 10 years now. I'm happy she is happy. But I often cry even today, over a decade later. I cry like someone whose mother died. When she visits it hurts knowing it is only a short trip and she will leave me again and then I feel pain again and cry uncontrollably. Is my reaction proportionate to the situation?

I wonder if autism just makes me more sensitive to these things and it wasn't usual to have been so emotional. This wasn't just attachment to my grandmother she literally raised me she was literally my mother.

I am 22 years old. In my culture children live with our parents until we marry or are quite a bit older, even 30s or longer, sometimes forever depending on circumstances. I also struggle with functioning and having a job but I would if I could and will be trying. I have a license but they don't let me borrow their car to go anywhere so I spend most of my time alone at home. Including recreation. They make it very difficult for me to go out, and especially not on my own. I'm not allowed to go out of the house for space or to do something fun. Only occasionally we go out to eat and get groceries but that's all.

My parents went through my room and threw away and donated many things. There were some very meaningful things to me gifted to me by family which I discovered were gone. I looked everywhere and couldn't find them so I asked them to find them and give them back to me and they've been saying that for weeks until yesterday. I suppose they thought I'd forget about it. My father got angry and said he will not give my things back or replace them. I already agreed since having the incense that I wouldn't use it in his home, and only used it on the porch, since that is what he asked.

Those things were in my room and belonged to me, not affecting anyone. My dad said he rid me of it because it is bad for my lungs so he was doing me a service. I asked him if he sees me as his property and he said yes. I heard him tell my mom that he threw them away, then my mom said she made him hide it instead. He's been looking for it all over and said that he thinks he threw it away. Those things were extremely meaningful to me. The incense burner I inherited from my grandmother who passed away, palo santo incense sticks given to me by family hao live long distance and I may never see again, etc.

I am still upset because I feel like my boundaries were violated and I no longer trust them. There have already been issues with them "reorganizing" my already organized room which I specifically and sternly told them not to touch because it is my space. I am horrible with change. Recently the house was reorganized and it made me cry and meltdown. Then my room was "reorganized" and I broke down and spent many days hidden in my dark closet on my tablet to try to not think about it.

Another thing is that recently I went out with a friend in their car and when I came home my parents both scolded me because "I don't know them well enough." This happened a couple of times where I went out with a friend and yet again they scolded me and now are even more controlling. I am a mature, responsible 22 year old adult and feel deeply disrespected. I feel like since I can't work and be independent I can't prove myself and they see and treat me like a child. They control me in many ways. They don't let me do anything I want, like their decisions are the only ones that matter in my life, like they know best.

I'm also completely isolated. My dad is constantly working, my sister is asleep during the day and up during the night isolating herself, and my mom wants little to do with me for some reason. It seems like she loves me but she never wants to spend time with me or take me places when I need to go. I wear the same few clothing items every day (less than 10) and I have been saying I need to go shopping for months.

Am I overreacting? Does this have to do with flawed thinking and sensitivity to environmental input or am I justified?

I'm sorry if my manner of writing is weird or overly descriptive, that's just how I write, but I tried to narrow it down. I feel like I'm in an impossible situation and see no future for myself.

I spend most of my time in the dark in my room on an electronic. When I leave my room everything has to be quiet and the lights have to be dim. It wasn't always this bad. It got worse after a couple of intense events happened in my life recently. But it isn't getting better either.

I have moved from my bed to my closet. I've arranged a comfortable situation in it and now spend the entirety of my day in pure darkness on an electronic on the lowest brightness setting. My small dog accompanies me much of the time.

It is like I can't tolerate most environmental input anymore, sometimes any. I am mentally stable but it feels mentally and physically painful and stressful to do anything if I have to leave my room, it's like light and noise especially hurt me. I am only comfortable in my room or closet on my electronics. I would be in it forever if I didn't have to take care of basic things to survive.

I don't understand what is happening to me or why. The only thing I can think of that happened out of the ordinary before I began staying in my closet is that my room got completely rearranged in preparation for our visiting family's sleeping arrangements.

I already cry and stress when my mom "organizes" the things in my room around when I had them exactly where I wanted them and now things have even been removed from my room and I just couldn't deal with it. There is also a friendship problem that I have been crying about.

It's like every little thing in life cripples me more and more. I feel like only a miracle can help me.

Hoping I can gather a couple people at least so we can play together

The Lion King movie is filled with deep meaning and philosophy. It is beautiful, absolutely worth watching. It isn’t just a children’s movie. When Simba plays with his Father 25 minutes in, after his father expressed his disappointment in him for disobeying him to “teach him a lesson,” they soon find joy in each other again. Mufasa forgave his son immediately and embraced him in love. This reminds me of God’s forgiveness. Mufasa, a great and respectable king, humbling himself completely to embrace his son, which in the movie is expressed through loving interaction and play (rejoicing). When I saw this scene I cried and felt a very painful cave of grief open up in me, a most intense need and desire for this kind of love. While it was painful, at the same time I felt just as happy because all of me knew that I await the day I will be truly filled with this greatest love God has for me. The scene may seem childish to some who don’t understand its meaning, but the love this scene reflects is a glimpse into an essential part of God’s love for us. How far He humbled Himself to be with us and lead us to Him. I saw God’s love for us in this scene. I had been feeling rather afraid of God and expecting judgement for the slightest mistakes despite knowing how much He loves me because of past trauma and after experiencing this scene so profoundly that fear faded.

Then when Simba experiences a great tragedy, losing His father, losing the bond they have, he becomes lost. Then Nala comes and reminds him of what truly matters to him, and Simba enters into an existential dilemma. He begins searching for answers and Rafiki finds Simba and is able to guide him to the place where his prayers will be answered, and Simba will find what he is searching for. He is the lost person finding themselves again, realizing who they are. Rafiki leads him through a dark and difficult path to a pond, and urges him to look in the pond. When he saw his reflection and said “it’s just my reflection” to Rafiki then Rafiki says “look again” and he looks and sees the truth, his father reflected back at him, the person he needs to be, the past he could never truly escape, it made me think of how faith is. You can want to have faith, but have nothing to believe in, until God shows you something to believe in. All we have to do is remain open and seek, like Simba, who looked and was disappointed, yet still held onto hope and with an open heart looked again into the beyond. Despite the darkness he never stopped searching for the light. We have to do the same and not let the darkness swallow us up, but turn from it like Simba did in search of the light, never giving up hope no matter how long and difficult the path is, like the path Rafiki led Simba through to find the pond where he saw his reflection, we who are lost in the dark must also persevere and commit even if God leads us through a dark path, awaiting the light. Simba persevered in hope and an open heart and so must we, so we will become who we are meant to be.

Does anyone else run into a similar problem?

Note: I also have rejection sensitivity dysphoria, so you can imagine how I feel when being unfairly criticized and even mistreated, even online.

*Only in this subreddit can I request that you please try to be sensitive about how you respond to my post, even if it is critical (which is fine with me, don't get me wrong).

I'm sorry if I say something wrong. I don't mean to.

Reddit is not the only place I run into this problem, but one of the most bothersome ones because people online can be especially insensitive and unfair. I don't say this to avoid criticism, just unfair discrimination and hate. As an autistic person, my writing can be extremely different in many ways. People misinterpret my writing as too specific, detailed, literal, intense, formal, or inappropriate in some other way. (I know those synonyms are too close, I'm just too tired to write properly right now.) It can be too long, so I have shorten it by more than 50%. Often, they are expecting casual writing, but I'm too formal. I excel in the professional world, but nowhere else. I have tried so much but I cannot conform enough to these horrible expectations.

I am even sometimes terribly misinterpreted as having bad intentions, like attacking or being argumentative when I'm not being AT ALL just because it sounds like a defense brief or something you'd read in a book or whatever. I do this to clarify absolutely every possible thing yet it is still criticized, even when I tone it down 90%. I usually need to strip it completely, which kills me inside because I feel like I have no control over explaining what I really mean so I just have to leave it open to all interpretations. Then it's fine but NOT ME. What must I do to please the Redditors yet retain even a tiny sliver of my essence in my writing? Some people even assume I'm AI! I have had a post removed once for no reason. I tried making a note about this and me being autistic on the top of my post but people still react negatively. I don't understand what is wrong with me. I talked to my family and friends about this, showing them the specific " problematic" posts and their replies, and they all assure me that Redditors are just too stupid and discriminative. I wish I had an autistic person's point of view. I have reflected endlessly on what is wrong with me but it is of no use. I feel like an idiot and my self-esteem is destroyed. I can't easily change how I feel even if I shouldn't feel this way.

*I make this sound like it happens all the time which isn't exactly true. But over the last several years, I run into this problem again and again to the point that I can't be myself and I feel like my heart is ripped out of my chest. It's the same thing at school. I have been judged because my clothing choices are different: too professional, vintage, and out of style. Just not suitable for that context. Even my family won't let me wear what I want, especially not vintage. They want me to conform. I still try to be myself, though.

It feels like the universe is out to get me. How could I be in such an impossible dilemma?

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I had been planning to break up with my boyfriend for a long time, but then he lost his father. It was already difficult for me to try to tell him, which is why I stayed with him. I did intend to tell him, I just waited for too long. I couldn't bring myself to hurt his feelings. Now he has lost his father and it became impossible to tell him.

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It has been weeks since he lost his father, in total almost a year since I intended to break up with him, it's just too long and I feel the pressure more and more. I waited weeks because I felt like I needed to be there for him and he couldn't lose another person. I needed to wait for the right time considering his condition. How could I do that to him?

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We care a lot about each other, but I can't love him in that way. I can't make a decision and just suppose I will be staying with him for at least a few more weeks and then gently telling him the situation when he is in a more stable place. I don't know what to do and I can't break his heart when he is already grieving, I would feel like a monster. But it has been too long.

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In addition to this: We were already friends before we started dating, and I also want us to still be friends. I want him to know I can still be there for him. I don't want to impair the friendship we have and I definitely don't want to hurt him, but we are too involved at this point which brings these concerns.

I tried benzodiazepines and gabapentin but they make my condition worse. They don't make me calm and relaxed, rather, they make me feel more distressed and uncomfortable.

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They're supposed to calm the nervous system, but it doesn't work for me. It feels like my nervous system is even being crushed. It's difficult to explain. Is this a normal response for people with akathisia?

God's mercy is real and beautiful. I know that the love He showed me is the love He has for everyone. I wish everyone knew this, and could likewise be relieved of their troubles and find peace in the knowledge that God is with them.

I suffered for a long time, feeling abandoned by God, before I received this display of His mercy, and I still suffer. I pray anyone who is suffering in a similar place patiently perseveres with a confident knowledge of God's love and providence in their lives. Pray each day however much you can and hold fast to Jesus and Our Mother; either He will relieve you of your sufferings or give you the strength to endure them.

I asked Mother Mary specifically to show me her love and desperately asked if everything will be okay, because I have been suffering tremendously. The following morning, my mom came to me and told me she felt an inspiration from the Holy Spirit, that everything will be okay.

A little later, it was the day of the immaculate conception of Mary and I did not know it, but I felt like I needed to go to church. I saw the statue of Mary at the front of the church and wondered why it was there, not knowing it was a special holy day in honor of Mary. I was praying by the statue of Mary, and as I turned to leave, a man who works at the church called to me and told me she (Mother Mary) wants me to pray to her more. I did, and then turned to leave again, and he called me again back to her again. I stayed, and suddenly and unexpectedly began crying to her about my suffering. This same man then took me aside when he saw me crying, cried with me, and told me he feels our Mother's love for me, and said 3 times specifically that everything will be okay, holding my shoulders and looking into my eyes, assuring me. He told me to do a consecration to Mary each day.

Mother Mary answered my prayers when I asked her to show me her love for me. Without her comfort I would truly be in complete despair because of my great suffering, but now I am relieved of my terrible burden and comforted. I spoke to my pastor who said this man is a good and respectable man. He is well known in the church community and is a very good person. I saw his love for me when he comforted me in my suffering and delivered a message from Mary to me. I trust him. That simple message from Mary relieved me completely of my grief and anxiety because I know she is watching over me now.

Still, I sometimes forget Mary's words and fall back into worry when it gets difficult, but when I remember Mary's message to me again, I am alleviated and all of my anxiety vanishes away like it was never there. Before, I didn't know if God was there for me in my suffering and the future was uncertain and terrifying to me; I lacked faith and fell into complete despair, yet God showed me He is and was always with me. He has reminded me of His presence the times I had forgotten.

I was recently confirmed at another church, so the people there do not know me. When I went up to receive the Eucharist, the Deacon held the Eucharist up before giving it to me and told me to say "amen." I am mute, so I put my hand up to my throat and tapped it as a sign that I cannot speak and mouthed "amen," and then he grimaced and put the Eucharist back into the bowl, blessed me, and told me "go on." I'm deeply upset that this happened, especially on my confirmation day.

I am mute, so I cannot say amen before receiving the Eucharist, but I do mouth it. I was recently confirmed at another church, so the people there do not know me. When I went up to receive the Eucharist, the Deacon held the Eucharist up before giving it to me and I mouthed amen because I can't sound it, but he didn't give it to me and told me to say amen, so I mouthed it again assuming he didn't see me do it the first time. I put my hand up to my throat and tapped it as a sign that I cannot speak and mouthed "amen" again, and then he clearly grimaced, shook his head in disapproval, and put the Eucharist back into the bowl, blessed me, and told me "go on." I'm deeply upset that this happened, especially on my confirmation day. I feel bad because he looked at me with disapproval and that wasn't my intention.

Edit: I understand this was likely a misunderstanding and he was doing his job to protect the Eucharist and next time I am at another parish I will do more to ensure this doesn't happen. Thank you for the help, I needed another perspective.

Note: the reason the deacon did not recognize me as someone who was confirmed is because there were many people getting confirmed with me. Over 150 confirmed with me and over 1,500 total at that service/mass. There are so many that I just blend in with the crowd, so I was easily overlooked.

I was Administered a shot of Haldol in a psychiatric hospital. I told them that I cannot take Haldol because it gives me akathisia, and they gave me a second shot a few days later, apparently because they thought the first one didn't work. My psychiatrist told me there was no reason to give two Haldol shots, and that the fact that they gave it to me after I told them it gives me akathisia is concerning. I told the doctor at the hospital that I had akathisia and he disagreed with me. I suffered for many months from akathisia after that. The worst suffering of my life.

Strange thing is that I didn't have pacing, I actually had the opposite. I was so weak I could barely get out of bed. It was actually more painful to get out of bed.

I've been suffering from an autoimmune disease so I haven't been talking to my friends very much at all over the last two years. Since then, I have a friend who occasionally messages or calls, every few weeks, even when I don't answer. Every once in a while I will tell him how I'm doing and apologize for not answering his calls and messages.

Maybe I'm being paranoid because I've encountered a stalker-type person once. This man would come to my house when I didn't answer his messages because he was "worried." He would message me often, sometimes everyday, even when I didn't answer. In the end I told him I am not interested in a relationship and he still messaged me. After a couple of years he stopped.

This is my current perspective, and if someone can enlighten me I would greatly appreciate it:

Many things in the catechism are labeled a grave sin, such as taking the Eucharist home or consuming the Eucharist if you are not Catholic. If the Eucharist is the body and blood of Christ, what right does the church have to withhold and set laws on who can and cannot receive the body of Christ? Christ stretched his arms on the cross for everyone, not just for baptized Catholics. How cruel it seems to withhold the very body of Christ from people who come to the church in sincerity. It is not about following the law, but the heart.

Many saints and Jesus Himself broke Jewish law and unjust laws for the sake of love, righteousness, and doing God's will. And if someone takes the Eucharist home or if a non-catholic receives it? I think Jesus can deal with that himself. Whoever is determined does this anyway. But it should not be condemned entirely. It is only reasonable if it is discouraged and prevented when seen. To call it a grave sin is despicable and causes fear and scrupulosity.

While it is understandable if it is discouraged, it is unacceptable that it is considered a "grave" sin. To condemn receiving the Eucharist, with loving and righteous intent, though not in accordance with the church law, as a mortal sin, implies that such actions in themselves are wrong, since they are being generalized as gravely wrong even with good intention; apparently, it is only by the permission of the church that such acts are considered acceptable, neither considering intention, else they are gravely sinful.

Did the Pharisees not withhold religious privileges and even access to the temple to whomever they considered "unclean," justified by their purity laws, which Jesus Himself condemned? The same Jesus who sat with the sinners and tax collectors, who gave himself entirely to the sick and sinful rather than to the righteous? So why does the church withhold the Eucharist in the same way?

God did not protect Himself, His own body, from being crucified, so why do we attempt to prevent the possibility of desecration or disrespect of the Eucharist, the same body of Christ, at the expense of those who truly need it? God is not ours to decide who and who does not receive Him, nor does he belong to the Catholic Church, instead the church belongs to Him. Christ allowed Himself to be crucified for the sake of our salvation, and the saints made the same sacrifice of themselves. The church, too, should make the same sacrifice, and distribute the Eucharist to all, totally surrendering the flesh of God as God Himself did, because in not doing so, not only do you withhold the Eucharist to people who disrespect it, but also to those who desperately need it.

Those who loved Jesus had to let him go when he was crucified, and so must we. Is the mass itself not a re-presentation and participation in Christ's sacrifice? If it is, then why are we withholding His body from His people, the very opposite of what his sacrifice is? Only God can decide this, and He has made evident that He offers Himself to all.

I was advised against doing this by many people on this subreddit, but it was truly the best thing I did. Though I do understand people who aren't bothered by these difficulties and accept the challenge, or who want a surprise and natural adventure or whatever the reason, personally this made the game less stressful and it didn't ruin the experience for me. I would sometimes use a map of all the shrines or Zelda notes in the Nintendo app as a reference to help me find some of the shrines. At first, I just activated the shrines alone without completing them so I would be able to easily travel to them when I really felt like doing them, and I've done nearly 100 at this point.

Getting stronger by increasing my stamina and hearts, along with heavy exploring and collecting, is helping me tremendously in the game, especially in defeating stronger enemies and completing harder challenges. I mean, a single hit by strong enemies can take out all of your hearts at once if you have few, and lots of stamina is required, for example, to climb tall mountains, paragliding over long distances, and shoot arrows in the air under difficult conditions. I also use the Nintendo app to help me find undiscovered koroks, which helps increase inventory slots which also adds to my strength.

I know you can use meals instead, but it can be very inconvenient, especially when fighting enemies and constantly having to replenish, which requires a lot of materials for the meals you'll always have to have ready with each enemy. Considering I am less adept at fighting enemies, it was essential for me to prepare for these situations by getting stronger, which are quite literally encountered everywhere and all throughout the game. By getting stronger in the beginning, the game 100% went much more smoothly for me.