u/ahava9

I’m 6 months pregnant and maybe it’s the hormones and the Sunday scaries, but I’m spiraling over the thought that my 2nd postpartum experience will be a shitshow like my 1st one was. My son was colicky, had feeding issues, and I had PPD/PPA. I couldn’t stop breastfeeding because I kept getting clogs and mastitis, so I ended up exclusively pumping. I was excited to return to work until I discovered my company did a reorg during my mat leave, and they reassigned all my direct reports, leaving me without a team but enough work for 3-4 people. They never gave me a team back, and I eventually left the company after 15 months. My son is now 3 yo, a smart sweet boy who got diagnosed as level 1 ASD in March. I’m pretty sure I have ADHD and maybe have Autism too.

I’m at a new company now and I’m working 50+ hrs on average per week. While my boss is overall decent, I don’t expect her to be understanding me pumping often the 3 days a week I’m in office. We don’t even have a mother’s room on our floor. When I told my boss one of my offshore employees (I help oversee 20 contractors based in India) was on maternity leave for 6 months per Indian law, my boss made a face and said that was too long. My boss is in her 50s, has grown children, and. is not always empathetic.

I know my 1st experience postpartum doesn’t dictate how the 2nd one will go. I’m just worried I’m going to burn out again and I won’t have the mental bandwidth to a present and good mom to 2 kids. I’ve thought about trying to get an old boss create an individual contributor role that’s less pay and hours. I’m trying to stay positive but it’s already SO hard right now with 1 kid, idk how I’m going to handle 2.

I posted last week about potty training my neurodivergent 3 yo son. Well it’s been a roller coaster with some successes, accidents, and resistance. The reward system of stickers and M&ms has started loosing its effectiveness, so we’re trying to pivot to other options. We’re doing lots of enthusiastic praise of course.

I wanted to share our biggest success: getting him to use a folding travel potty when we leave the house! It takes some coaxing to get him into a bathroom or a stall; he’s afraid of loud public toilets flushing and hands dryers. Today at a restaurant he’d only sit on his travel potty if I would sit with him, so I ended up sitting on the bathroom floor in the handicapped stall 😅. It’s gross but he did pee in the potty instead of his undies so it was 100% worth it.

I hoped we’d get him potty trained in 1-2 months, but I’m just focusing on the successes and trying to stay positive. Lately he’s so distracted or hyper fixated on playing at home, he’ll just go on the floor and it’s frustrating. I keep telling myself he WILL get this down and potty training is temporary.

My son turned 3 in May and we’re on day 8 of our 2nd go at potty training. We’re struggling and I’m looking for advice. 😅 We’ve had some mild success with getting him to go pee and poo on the potty ~50-60%. However he will not tell anyone he needs the potty and if we/ his teacher asks if he needs to go, he says “no.” At home we use a potty watch (30 min intervals) and will reward with M&Ms and a sticker chart. At daycare his teachers do give him a sticker for using the potty. We’re getting overly excited when he’s successful and giving lots of positive praise. We’ve tried a combo of naked from the waist down and sometimes wearing underwear.

Additionally he is scared of public restrooms and the loud toilets and hand dryers. I’m trying not to force it bc I don’t want to create an aversion. My son has level 1 autism and me and my husband both have ADHD. He struggles with loud noises and body cues sometimes.

I’m also 6 months pregnant and really want to get him potty trained by November. I wish I could take a week off work to doing full naked/ oh crap potty training at home. However both me and my husband’s workloads are too high for that right now.

TLDR; 3 yo doesn’t care when he needs to use the potty/ doesn’t recognize cues and has a fear of loud public restrooms. Any advice from other parents of neurodivergent kiddos would be much appreciated. 💖

Title spells it out but tw: dead parent

My dad had early onset dementia and passed away at 68 about 2 years before I had my son. It’s Father’s Day in the US and grief hit me like a ton of bricks this evening. My son is 3 now and I want to tell him more about his grandpa. But I don’t really know how to tell him he has another grandparent who died before he was born. He’s still a toddler and doesn’t understand the concept of death yet, so I want to be careful with how I broach the topic.

Any insight or experience is appreciated. If you get to see your dad sometime soon please hug them. ❤️

I’m so frustrated with myself. “Pregnancy brain” compounded by adhd has been horrible this pregnancy and I feel like I’m barely surviving and not thriving. My executive functioning and memory are not great right now. This has made my already stressful management job even harder.

I’m a STM working mom (due in November) and I have a 3 yo who has level 1 ASD. I also am neurodivergent and working to get a formal adhd diagnosis so I can pursue meds in the future. I’m already on an SSRI, fwiw.

I am very grateful to be gainfully employed with a hybrid job but dang this is hard sometimes 😅

I guess I’m writing this because I needed to scream it into the void for a second, and remind myself this is temporary. Things will get better.

Update: I went to the psychiatrist today and asked about ADHD testing and the PA said I should wait until I’m postpartum to test… which I’m not very happy about.

Tw: kinda gross

My son will sometimes pick his nose and then come up to me with his boogers. He’ll then get grossed out by it, and come hand them to me and say “thank you mama” 😆 I’ll tell him “no thanks, I don’t want that” and he’ll insist “THANK YOU MAMA”.

Ps we are discouraging this behavior but you know how it goes with toddlers.

I’m due with my 2nd baby in November. I’m a manager and my team lead just asked me about our the gender reveal cake we’re getting on Friday and if we have a baby registry yet he can share with the team. My team lead is a single man with no kids.

I’m tearing up a bit because I feel appreciated. Work has been very stressful lately and we’re putting in extra hours to try to keep our heads above water. Maybe I’m getting emotional because I’m pregnant and under the weather. I have people at work who care about me and that wasn’t always the case. Also- My boss is ok with me working remote while sick, which I know a lot of people can’t do.

Maybe I’m just posting here for my own reference later when I start getting really fed up with my job by Friday. 😂

What is your plan for a childfree day off? I want a day where I can lay in bed and binge Masterpiece Theater or just sleep.

I have today off but it’s jam packed with errands. I just got back from a family trip at 1am last night due to weather related flight delays. The trip was nice, however my toddler was melting down multiple times a day since he’s hitting the threenager stage, missed naps, and is neurodivergent/ slightly speech delayed. He had an epic 25 minute tantrum leaving Mall of America yesterday because it’s a kid wonderland. We’re exhausted lol. (My son is in speech therapy and OT, btw)

I had a preplanned vet visit for my cat at 10am for a cyst or mass his regular vet saw on an xray. I forgot to make him fast (I got in at 1am) so they examined him but requested I come back next week when he’s not eaten for 8 hours. 🫠 I was planning to go home and rest but my car’s check engine light came on. I also have to unpack, do laundry, clean, grocery shop, and prep for my kid’s 3rd birthday party next weekend.

I hope everyone had a good Mother’s Day and gets a few hours to yourself this week. Hopefully my sleep deprived vent wasn’t too difficult to follow.

Edit to add: I am worried about my cat and don’t mean to complain about getting him care. I have another cat with medical needs and at this point regular vet visits are just my life. 😅

I’m pregnant and trying to find a yoga studio or center that offers prenatal yoga classes in or near Plano. I haven’t gone to yoga regularly since before 2020 and the studios I’m familiar with don’t have prenatal yoga on their schedules.

I work full time and have a toddler so I prefer evening classes that are within 20-30 minutes of Plano. TIA!

My son is almost 3 and was formally diagnosed as level 1 ASD recently. I am 13 weeks pregnant with our second kid and I’m trying to help him understand he’s going to be a big sibling later this year.

We told him there’s a baby in mom’s tummy and he’s going to become a big helper (thanks Daniel Tiger) later this year. His reaction to far has been kinda negative, and I’m a bit worried he’s going to have a hard time with the adjustment. I’m his favorite person and he thrives on our current routine. I bought him 2 books about babies and said they were from the baby. He asked if we could “put them back in the box” aka return them.

I’m not due till November but research and prep really help with my anxiety levels. 😅