u/aimtreetwo

I recently had a long rave session at Fold and most of the night was amazing, quality people, space and sound.

however during the final set the sound on the main dancefloor became very loud and distorted, and felt like a full body assault.

kicks and hats were slapping you in the face but the melodies were hard to clock and bassline non existent. I'm used to feeling the buzz of the bass so it made me feel something was off.

there were people dancing but df was a bit empty, people there seemed to be having fun but the few I spoke do did note the sound was distorted/intense. we even shazamed a track and listening to it later was like listening to a completely different song.

it was a bit sad to end such a great night like this. has any one else ever noticed something like that happen? maybe it was just my ears getting "tired"?

I was thinking I just need to invest in good ear plugs, but I didnt feel like I needed them the rest of the night to have fun.

hello, I'd really appreciate some advice on this issue.

I am a disabled person planning to represent themselves at an ET regarding bullying and what I believe to be an automatically unfair firing.

the Respondent is a relatively high profile charity, recently ex public sector org.

initially after I raised my grievance, where they admitted I was terminated due to sick leave relating to a disability, they then made an offer and said it was their final offer and if I don't accept it they will see me in court. they also pressured me to not raise another grievance about what the first uncovered (firing due to sick leave)

now in the lead up to the court date they have contacted via acas to make another low ball offer which I responded to within 10 days, stating I was still out of work due to injury and asking for the remainder of my contract value to settle the dispute.

that was about a month ago, they've now contacted me via ACAS to say they have made a counter offer but I can only access it via phonecall and it will expire after 7 days (I only saw the email today so it's now 4 days)

Google says this is poor practise and it is triggering me as the attempt to put pressure on me reminds me of the bullying I faced while working there.

I have asked ACAS to provide it in writing.

Does any one have any other advice on how to handle this? I would like for it all to be over but I'm also not the type of person to agree to things just because I'm being pressured to.

it's hard for me to think straight so any advice or insight would be much appreciated

thank you 🙏🏼

I have been lost in artificial samadhi

breaking my ego to let the ghosts feast

I have been taking pratyahara from myself

my existence, my peace

I was lost in the sadness of one withdrawn embrace

I have been lost in mourning for the promise

that never came

..

the writing is not always logical

ends become new things and new things run

there's no saucha on this plane without the users intervention or assault

sometimes we push too much

when life gives it all at once

the counter movement of an Asana can easily break what others built

..

dharana and dhyana

easy words than said and done

for going inward requires patience for the self I barely love

my breath will surely leave me

so I push it again, this time just enough

returning to ahimsa

kindness and non harm starts with one

I have been tracking my dreams for a few years since undergoing psychoanalysis.

my mallworld dreams have always been the most frequent and usually happen in 1-3 week batches then some time in between. I also get stand alone/self contained dreams that sometimes have a mallworld vibe or not.

since a recent traumatic event I was experiencing mostly hotel world dreams for many months. sometimes airport, sometimes the mall but the hotel features were the most memorable. the walls the fixtures the staff the layouts.

due to various other factors I have reason to believe these dreams might be related to PTSD, and potentially a trauma that happened at a hotel.

I'm still waiting psychiatric assessment but after making this realisation the dreams escalated to violence then stopped for a while.

last night I was back in MW, I think I briefly went towards the airport but was mostly looking through clothes and talking to shop assistants. I was going up and down elevators, unsure of where I was. I became lucid when a shop assistant refused to let me use a changing room and I would have had to try something on in the corner of the store.

my dream tracking has also revealed that I'm more likely to have a MW dream when I've been watching streams (gaming and irl) before bed (live or vod).

has any one else made any connection between their mallworld dreams and PTSD or a traumatic event?

I was diagnosed autistic and ADHD at the same time in 2023. it took me a while to get medication for ADHD but I have been titrating onto elvanse the last few months.

some people say they feel their autism unmasks when on the meds

I was actively working on unmasking and learning about my autism for a good couple of years before trying elvanse.

I really think this helped a lot and I see posts on here with people suspecting autism or not yet diagnosed really struggling with the symptoms.

because I was actively embracing my autism before meds I have been relieved and maybe a bit excited to feel these traits heightened:

- being direct

- sustained monotropism (tunnel vision/focus)

- stimming when needed

- asking clarifying questions and being upfront with my needs (part of being direct probs)

- not feeling the need to make facial expressions

- not feeling tied to eye contact rules

- no more people pleasing

some might find these things unhelpful but as someone who is very much in love with their autistic side I am happy that I can express myself like this.

traits that are heightened that are less helpful and require management:

- not able to change track for others, I think the ADHD masked this well but now when I am interrupted I am furious where as before I welcomed the distraction/dopamine

- meltdowns are more frequent and require hands on engagement. dark rooms, safe space, special interest based redirection, stimming!!

- I'm not eating food I don't want to, this is both good and bad. before I would force myself to eat what I had but now I only want safe foods and have no appetite for anything else.

- some other PDA symptoms like sometimes feeling angry at meds and not wanting to take them because they make me feel like a machine for doing stuff, this one is weird and I have accommodated it by making sure I'm always doing things I want to do along side things I don't want.

the most interesting change is how I process emotions and I don't think it's autism related but it seems like it's just a benefit of the meds.

it seems like the fact that I have been able to "switch off" the ADHD noise it's given me the ability to actually witness and process my emotions.

this one has been tough as there was a lot there that I was avoiding/burying and now it's like I can see it clearly.

I'm able to feel emotions and process them much faster than before, like a drastic difference. before I would ruminate and fluctuate while processing things for weeks or even months/ years. now it's a matter of hours.

and that can be rough on the body and mind for sure.

I've not heard any professionals talk about this, maybe there is some research I should look into but it's definitely the biggest blessing and curse of the meds in my opinion.

I'm grateful I engaged in 5 years of weekly trauma therapy before all this because otherwise the feelings I've had to face might turn me inside out.

with my framework of understanding from therapy and years of research into psychology I can see what needs to be done (emotionally) and do it but it's also extremely draining and a lot of work.

**so in summary / tldr**

the meds are very helpful

almost too helpful in some ways (emotions)

I believe having an understanding of my autism before meds was vital as well as having an understanding of my trauma

without those things I think this process would have been very scary and hard, bordering on impossible.

any goths also practicing mystics?

I personally discovered goth music and culture before developing my practice, I feel like they were closely intertwined.

both have always influenced my art style and the concepts I work with.

personally I find it a bit odd when people are alt, in fashion and music taste, but they don't know anything about alt philosophy and spiritualism. but that's obviously just my perspective as it's based on my own experience so wondering if anyone else sees them as intertwined or how others see the occult if they don't see it as part of goth culture.

**I'm not looking to sell here** I am weighing up using the RA resale feature or waiting for 24hrs before the event and uploading to ticket swap.

but I wanted to ask people's experience with both these systems.

do you find tickets to fold (it's a Friday night event with big name) will sell easily? or have you had tickets sit around going to waste?

we have 4th release so it's a bit cheaper than the final ones.

I don't understand why RA make the resale feature so dumb, there is no need to make it some last min lottery. surely listing the tickets would give them more money in the long run (in fees).

I've sold tickets on ticket swap to night club events pretty easily. I find if you give even the smallest discount they will usually go fast, but you have to wait until 24 hrs before the event to even download them.

wondering if anyone has any insight to the best route to get them picked up and not wasted?

I believe there is a lot to be learned by investigating the shadow.

there are so many clues as to what is truly going on within you and also within those who you are interacting with. it's incredibly valuable.

my question is whether any one else feels Jung was limited in what he can offer through his methodology?

they say the truth sets you free but we live in an age where misinformation drives the economy. is that a truly practical mindset in our ever evolving world?

I understand individuation and integrating the shadow can help someone overcome weaknesses, but is there anything in Jungs work that helps people grow past their inherent chemistry and traumas, into something not rooted in their history? or does that all have to take place after final integration?

and then can someone who integrates their shadow transform past that duality into more? a new perspective? a new life?

can you integrate change? hope? non shadow beliefs?

I've read that some see individuation as a life long pursuit but it feels unbalanced to me, like not letting the soul truly express itself on earth until it has perfected every flaw. this is a dangerous mindset for some, particularly anyone with a history of OCD/ocpd.

interested to know if any one on the sub has had these questions and whether there are schools of thought that integrate more with Jungs work.

as a Hindu it's inherent that I see these things as an ebb and flow (yin Yang, shiv Shakti), so as I get further into Jungs work in my studies I feel more distant from it. but it's also my nature to question everything so I wanted to see what others think.

I had been noticing weird images sometimes when I tune into my cats for a long time. We've been together 10 years.

Recently I started following some animal communicators on insta and their stories affirmed some of the things I've seen from my cats and always just thought were random.

It's been a very slow process but I have managed to get my youngest cat to start joining us in the bed (she seemed to be banished by the other cats) by sending images of us all together happy.

But I realised that one of the sigils I drew for protection of all 4 of us has been acting as an opening image for communication so I thought I would share this tip for anyone who's trying to do something similar.

I drew the sigil a few months ago, now when I talk to the cats they send me this sigil to get my attention.

my street cat is very wounded and probably overly attached to me, she has thanked me for the sigil and told me she came from the street to help me regulate my emotions (she has, she saved my life)

the other two are her kids and one is very snooty and annoyed that I don't let him do whatever he wants and be the centre of attention (cute). the smallest one, my little ballerina tells me that she is also magic and if I give her treats she will do spells for us (cuuuute!)

it's made dealing with their needs a lot easier, I would recommend it to any one who's interested in knowing more about their animals and their needs.

hey frens,

so I went to see a shamanic healer for my autism (apparently magic is the only antidote to Tylenol)

and as usual he asked me to pee in a cup and then throw it on him so he can divinate the extent of my divergence based on the angle of the splatter

well it landed in a spread eagle F14 MiG-28 tomahawk super hornet shape and the wizzard promptly fainted

apparently my ND is a gift from the god of "waiting around for something to happen" and Im supposed to be here on a very spesific mission so I am immune to karma

according to the wizzard it involves sending him more piss samples

anyone else had anything similar? do you think he might be scamming?

he had a really nice grill and I saw some open mail with evidence of a sizable 401k

asking for a friend

thanks xx

foraged stone a colour lost to sun

morning dew blessing those alone

river run a prey fowl loved

the blood will feed

the angels swarm on one

sometimes I feel like I'm man trapped in a woman's body

but then if I'm a man in a woman's body isn't that like sick and fun cos I have a woman's body to play with? it's also really cool being a woman because I can make babies and stuff

I love being a woman!

so then am I a woman trapped in a man's soul trapped in a woman's body?

or am I just a collection of ghosts inhabiting a human vessel and fighting for dominance?

asking for a friend.

we were "finally leaving"

usually I can't find my passport but it was there, everyone was being really helpful

has any one left?

I wasn't really able to leave, but it felt nice

I've been fighting my burnout my whole life, ex gifted child/chronic people pleaser.

I sought diagnosis after a big burnout episode during the pandemic, but I have had them frequently. days, months even years barely about to function or leave the house. at some points I was crawling on the floor to be able to go feed my cats. they were becoming more regular and longer.

I'm 5 years diagnosed but I'm still figuring out how to balance my spoons. I'm on ADHD meds now too but I find that even with their help instigating and following through on tasks my autism still demands a lot of separate management.

recently I've noticed whenever I get a chance to avoid all responsibilities and people I need a day where I don't change out of PJ's and basically sit and regulate all day until night when I can maybe shower and do my physio before sleeping.

I'm worried these days will start becoming weeks, months. I'm sick of losing so much time to these conditions.

then of couse that makes me overcorrect when I have energy and it's probably contributing to this boom bust cycle

I'm scared to get too deep into relying on the meds as I'm worried they will either stop working randomly or I will otherwise have an accident or incident that causes another year long burnout

does anyone have experience with this?

is there hope?

I've had to completely rebuild my life and it plays with my mind feeling like I'm still getting it wrong

I've begged doctors for access to autism support services but the NHS/council only provides anything if you're not functioning 100% of the time, my energy spurts make me ineligible but I am not functional a majority of the time.

I've reached out to charities too but they said they don't have funding anymore.

I don't know how to live and it feels like no guidance online or anywhere is practical or suitable

does any one else feel the same?

has any one figured it out?

any thing you do while making that nasal "nnyyaugh" sound with your mouth.

Does anyone else dream in mallworld more or less every night?

my dreams have always been very detailed and frequent, since I was young.

I used to have a lot of terrible nightmares and migraine attacks as a kid. I think they made me develop an ability to stay semi conscious when asleep so it gives me access to my dreams in a way but not to the point im always completely lucid.

I can't remember going mallworld as a kid, and I didn't keep a dream journal back then.

since the pandemic, I took part in jungian psycho analysis via a therapist for 5 years where I kept a dream journal and we discussed my dreams. and then since ending those sessions I have monitored them a bit myself.

main question is:

while I have evidence I've been having mallworld dreams for almost 8-9 years, I was definitely getting more self contained regular dreams even just a year ago.

is that the same for any one else or is it a normal progression?

recently, and before I discovered this sub the dreams had become almost nightly. usually for weeks or months in a row, with a single night off every so often, then maybe times I won't dream for a week or two then back on.

wondering if any one else has a similar experience?

as a side, I've been experiencing pure "mall" world mallworld dreams the last couple of nights, normally I'm in a HotelWorld or resort/outdoor mallworld location. I wonder if it has anything to do with my own personal motivations? recently I've been thinking a lot about money and my health. I seen to be dreaming about working and buying and travelling up and down the building.

hey guys

so I've been really feeling myself lately. and I mean REALLY. feeling.

like on the insides and the dark mucky black hole kinda stuff like beep boop pull some wires, what's all this then? oh god it's leaking, ugh gross. pad with tissues. kinda stuff.

I was meditating on the ethereal plane 🛫 and I tuned my frequency to the one that goes rumpumpumpumpOW rumpumpumpumPOwW, and then I could like see this tortoise shell deity and he was journaling.

and he turned to me and was like:

"yo axis you sure do spend a lot of time on that little computery thingy device, do you even know the people you are talking to? what are you guys talking about? it looks like nonsense?"

and I was pretty taken aback by the question because I was like UM EXCUSE ME YES I HAVE FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE. Its just very hard to see them because we are all embedded into the literal fringes of society being squashed between two pvc sheets, almost like preserved for a special purpose or prized possession or smt but not appropriate for show and tell.

you know what I mean?

any way. turtle man left and it got me thinking. am I even real?

is the internet dead?

are we all just echoes of something that was and never really will be again?

or are we building something that can leap frog a dead internet theory and star seed actual joy and creative internet theory?

if that makes sense?

"I don't want to upset you"

but you did

"I don't want to fight"

but I did

"if you want to talk to me, I want to, I'm here"

but you didn't reply when I was saying how I felt

"I want to fix this"

so you left me on read?

now you come back

when the earth speeds ahead

forcing mercury to retreat

while we throw our pain into wreck

and I'm still here

reeling from what you did

I'm never enough

but whatever you want you get