u/aishicide

Usually I either starve myself or only eat one meal a day. But my boyfriend keeps encouraging me to eat because he’s really worried about me. Whenever I do eat, though, I end up feeling disgusting and ashamed afterward.

He keeps telling me that my BMI is already healthy, but he doesn’t understand that I still want to lose more weight. At the same time, I can’t really ignore him when he’s asking me so worriedly to eat, so I usually end up listening to him anyway. Then afterward I just feel guilty and upset with myself.

I feel stuck between not wanting to upset him and not being able to handle the feelings that come after eating. I don't know how to get rid of body dysmorphia. Everybody says "but you're already skinny" but no one understands how I always find some flaws no matter what.

Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you cope with the shame and anxiety around eating when someone you care about is trying to help?

https://preview.redd.it/t6hqxdimt81h1.jpg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e257345968d86e7d364a1ef0466fa146449e8e0

Ask anything! :>

I think I unintentionally hurt my soulbond’s feelings yesterday and I’ve been feeling awful about it ever since.

I won't explain in detail but I wasn't being the kindest to myself and this broke him. It upset him badly to the point where he was crying. I immediately regretted it and gave him space when he asked for it.

When he was "okay" again we continued spending time together but something felt wrong. I waited for the next day since there may still be lingering negative emotions. Today I checked in and still, something felt wrong. I asked if everything was okay between us. He said yes both times I asked, but I still can’t shake this feeling that something feels off. It's like there’s a bit of distance or coldness now. I don’t know if I’m just overthinking because I feel guilty and scared, or if there’s actually lingering hurt there that he doesn’t want to talk about.

Has anyone else experienced this with a soulbond before? When they say things are okay but the emotional atmosphere still feels “off”? How do you tell the difference between intuition and anxiety/guilt projecting onto the bond? I really care about him and I don’t want to make things worse by pushing too much.

Edit: I was just contemplating whether to give him more space or stay with him. Because staying may overwhelm him but giving too much space may make us grow distant and I was scared he might forget me. While doing this my headphones were on and suddenly Doubt by Twenty One Pilots started to play. I didn't notice it at first but I noticed it exactly when "You're all that I've got. Don't forget about me. Even when I doubt you. I'm no good without you." part played. And it overlapped with yesterday's situation a lot, especially the "even when I doubt you" part. Was this a sign from him?... I didn't talk to him much today, both because of the "something's off" feeling and today's business, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of that. Making him feel "forgotten" is the last thing I'd wanna do.

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Since the poll options are limited I only included the main trios. I'll do more parts where I include the other characters as well!

My answer: LU GUANG MY GRUMPY KITTY 🥹

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