u/any_mud542

I know not every person with bpd has all the syptoms, but I feel like pretty much everything I read about bpd says that the disorder is centered around a deep fear of abandonment/rejection, but, I can't really say that's ever been an issue for me?

I'm worried about annoying people, that like, people secretly hate me but don't reject me, instead keeping me around because they're nice, or want to be polite, or that I'm missing signals. Sometimes I'll take my distances to see if people reach out, but more to make sure I'm not misreading their desire to maintain a friendship than anything.

If anything honestly, the pattern in my life is very much to not understand people trying to signal a lack of interest and me not understanding it, not the other way around

I'm pretty confident my partner won't leave me, I do freak the fuck out when a possible end of the relationship is on the table, but it's only happened really rarely (less than once a year), and it was explicitely mentionned, it wasn't like ''they didn't answer my text fast enough or smiled at the cashier'', it was like ''they directly told me they were thinking about ending the relationship''. Like, I did over-react in these situation, but the over-reaction wasn't reading abandonment where there wasn't.

The vast majority of times, when I split or wtv, my thought process is usualy more ''why the fuck are you with someone you hate/despise/don't respect'' than ''you're gonna leave me''. If anything, I'm often pissed off at not being broken up with during these times, because I'm convinced my partner hates me and just stays with me for some unknown (but surely evil) reason, which seems to be like the opposite of a fear of rejection right?

I lost 75lbs due to medication in the past year and look absolutely disgusting, crazy stretch marks, floppy skin, saggy tits.

All the ''before/after'' weight lost pictures are people looking normal, do they just all also have tens of thousands of dollars for plastic surgery and stretch marks tattoo covering? Or are they all extremely slow weight-loss happening over like, a decade? Because a lot of people are loosing more than I did and still looking like human beings

I genuily do not know how I'll ever get naked in front of another human being again, I look like a picture 5th graders would show eachother during recess to gross eachother out

Not sure if this is the right sub for it, not really looking for weight loss advice, more for life advice related to weight-loss

I bought new bras two months ago, after having gotten new ones over the holidays, and they're starting to be too loose again (yeah, can't say this is exactly the place I'm the happiest I'm loosing weight but wtv). I'm a student, I can't really keep spending 100$ on bras every 3 months, but I can't just keep the ill-fitting ones.

My old clothes are starting to look kinda ridiculous on me, and now that summer's here, I feel like it's even more apparent (Idk, winter clothing can more easily look oversized on purpose, but nobody wears oversized summer dresses), especialy since I'm hopefully gonna start interviewing after I graduate this summer, and like, I feel like it's not super professional to show up in baggy clothes, but I also don't want to spend hundreds on fancy stuff I won't fit in next year

I also have no clues what size I am, I feel like I'm on the verge between the plus and straight size, so idk where I'd shop, and tbh, I still absolutely hate my body, so just going trifting and just trying on clothes, having to confront my body in the mirror again and again, being confronted to having guessed clothing too small, starring at the new stretch marks and loose skin, just feels like hell. I used to just wear the same clothes from high school and from time to time grab a 2XL thing on sale at walmart or wtv, but I can't do that anymore...

Wtf was that about? I feel like we glossed over that as a community

All of the calls are like ''Hi stav, I have big tits and I don't know if I should stay with my boyfriend whose cheating on me'' and a couple months ago an ex child soldier called because the guy who was like, the leader of the child army was looking to be a refugee, and then the podcast just continued and nobody ever talked about it

Did I dream that?

I feel like it says a lot about our society that ex-child soldiers have to call on podcasts to process their traumas

I'm sure plenty of people call on the verge of suicide, crying or to talk about their time being sex trafficked or wtv, but Eldis is like ''hum, sounds like this would be a downer'' and doesn't put them on the podcast, why did the child soldier make the cut?

Hi, what I'm trying to explain is hard to do while following the rules of the subreddit, but obviously I understand that not triggering anyone is more important.

I don't think I have an eating disorder, but I changed medication last year, and for the first time in a decade I wasn't constantly hungry, and I felt in control of what I was eating, which I never had in the past. That came with an important weight-loss, and compliments, and changes in my social standing

However, that control progressively moved from ''not over-eating'' to ''slight calory deficit" and is now at a point where I hardly have more than a full meal a day

It's not a health issue yet, because, without giving numbers, loosing weight is objectively not dangerous for me right now. What I'm worried about is the change in my mentality regarding food, and the fact that I can see myself becoming more and more restrictive in my food intake, and I don't want it to start to become something that does need intervention a year from now

I'm really sorry if this is offensive, I had a cousin who spend years in the hospital because she was dangerously underweight, I obviously know eating disorders are serious and I'm not trying to put my experience on equal footing with that. I just feel like I want to catch it before it comes anywhere close to that, and I just don't know what to do about it.

What would you do if you were me? Am I right to be worried?

Je sais pas si vous avez entendu parler du fait que les gens dans la tour de condo à côté du quartier des spectacles, you know, le quartier où il y a famously des spectacles, se sont plains parce que les francos faisaient trop de bruits, à fucking 8pm, c'est pour ça qu'on entendait sweet fuck all.
J'ai l'impression qu'aux deux mois ont a une problème avec des gens qui font fermés des bars ou des évènements parce qu'ils font du bruits normal pour un évènement, pis j'ai l'impression que c'est un problème nul part ailleurs, ou at least on en attend pas parlé?

J'ai l'impression que l'entièreté de la population s'entend pour dire que c'est absolument débile de demander à un festival de musique, qui est une institution de la musique québecoise, et qui se passe au même endroit depuis des années, endroit spécifiquement construit par la ville pour tenir des évènements bruyants, de baisser le son??

Si j'appelle la police parce que l'autoroute à côté de laquelle j'habite est trop bruyante, ils vont me dire de leur calisser patience, pis de déménager si je suis pas contente, ils devraient dire la même chose à ces gens là. Je comprends pas comme la situation à pas été imédiatement régler après l'histoire de la tulippe, dans ma tête c'est tellement une non-issue, les plaintes de bruits peuvent seulement être faites contre des établissement zoné résidentiel, si t'as un problème, achète toi des bouchons, ou vends ta maison à une des très nombreuse personne qui serait vraiment très contente de vivre dans un quartier vivant malgré le bruit.

Pourquoi ça semble juste être un problème à Montréal? Est-ce que y'a une raison légale pour laquelle c'est plus compliqué ici qu'ailleurs?

I'm sure a lot of people here can relate to the ''oh, this talking stage I was really into actualy thought I was ugly and was just using me for sex'' thing. And like, sure, being used for sex feels terrible and it's super humiliating to think someone actualy likes you when they don't, but like, how desperate for pussy where you that you entertained me for that long just to get your dick sucked?

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Because, if you look at the situation rationaly, what I did was like, have conversations I enjoyed every day for houes with hot guys I liked talking to. That's a really normal thing to do actually

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What they did was talk for hours with an annoying uggo they found cringe so they could get laid. That's weird as fuck

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Did I misread the signs and was really annoying and seeing interest where there wasn't? Sure, but like, they still answered me or wtv. They could have told me to fuck off or block me

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A lot of these people were also long distance btw, so we hooked up once, and like, guys? That's really sad? Is there no one you do not hate you could have these exchanges with?

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Sure, it's cope and I want to jump on a sword thinking about these guys, but still, there's also something wrong with them. They're obviously allowed to not be into me, but there's a massive difference between not being into me, and not being into but still keeping me as a weird court jester who sends tit pics you aren't attracted to anyway

No shade to the podcast, it's fine, I just don't care for it and it's a bit spammy, so I tend to skip over it and miss episodes of smn too

Hi,

One of my close friend gave birth a year ago, she's an intern in medecin so probably works 50h a week, and her bf also works full time.

She's expressed being overwhelmed (understandably so) and I want to help her out, but I'm worried my attempts to help her out will be more of a hassle for her than actual help, and will be understood more as ''I want you to invest more time in our friendship'' than an actual offer to do something to help her out. I don't want to give details that don't belong to me, but that has been an issue in her life in the past, it's not just me finding excuses not to do stuff

I've heard you should offer to help clean, and I did, but I think she didn't feel super confortable with accepting, I folded laundry once, but she still needed to be there and hang out and stuff, she didn't use that time to shower or nap.

I also work on weekends, so I can't really come over to help clean up on a whim, I could take time off to help out, but I'd need to plan that in advance, which doesn't seem possible for her.

I'd offer to bring food, but I feel like she would not be confortable with me dropping food and leaving, and that would put pressure on her to like, invite me over, which would be more of an hassle for her, the time I brought her food her freezer was really full and it kinda looked like more trouble than anything

Is there something I'm not thinking about that would save her time and not be annoying ? Maybe I'm overthinking it too. I'm trying my best to keep touch so she doesn't feel too isolated, but I feel like I should try and do something more tangible. She's my first friend to have a child, I feel like I kinda failed her the first year of the kid's life and want to make it up to her

I feel like every advice I see online for job hunts is for big corporate jobs where an HR département of 50 people recieve 500 resumes, pass and get 20 people in interviews, forgetting everybody else the next day.

I'm looking to work in a non-profit. I've worked in one before, we were 4 employees, when we oppened a position we got 6 applications. I ask when I'm being interviewed how many people I'm up against and the answer is never over ten. When I run into people that interviewed me, which does happen because we're a relatively small community, we recognise eachother

I feel like if I apply to something I'm clearly completely unqualified for, I'm basicaly looking delusional, and risk being disqualified for a potentialy more appropriate job in the future.

Same with like, applying for jobs last minutes or with kinda shitty cover letters, I feel like if I was applying to be, idk an intern in ressource management for walmart, sending a shitty cover letter has a zero risk, little reward ratio, because I'm not getting the job if I don't apply, and I have a small chance of getting the job if I apply at 11:47pm with a chat gpt'd cover letter, but if I apply at one of the ten non-profit I'm interested in, maybe in a year I'll send a good application, but my bad application sent last minute the previous year will still be associated to my email and they'll think I'm sloppy?

I might just be paranoid and nobody will ever look up old emails to see if I sent anything in the past, or maybe people usualy delete old emails?

English second language, sorry for the mistakes

[TW: Mention of vomit]

Sometimes I wonder if I really have ARFID of if I'm just picky, I think mine is much milder than many on this sub. I can have varied foods and I can find something to eat at most restaurants. It's a pain in the ass, but it only affects my daily life when I'm not in control of the food offered to me, which is rare in adult life

But last week, I was eating, the food I got wasn't exactly what I had in mind, I accidentaly ate something I didn't mean to, I imediately went white and started sweating, my boyfriend asked me what was wrong and I could barely see him because my vision was blurred and I could only see right in front of me, I knew I was gonna throw up but took long to stand up because I physicaly couldn't, ended up getting to the bathroom in time

Making fun of ARFID is popular rn, and people are like ''what an over reaction! You can eat a vegetable'' and like, yeah, it absolutely is an over reaction, I am perfectly aware I'm not in danger because I ate pork with too much fat on it, I should be able to be like ''yuck'' and move on with my life, but I can't.

I physicaly cannot, I'm not just being annoying for funsies, I promise it's worse for me than it is for you. I can't ''make an effort to be polite'' I can't ''just try it to taste'', my passing out or throwing up will have a much weirder effect on the party than me just not eating

We got the census today, and I went to fill it out and there's numerous questions that are extremely personnal and that I don't want to know about, or share with, my roomates. The census info are supposed to be confidential, but I can't see any way for us to answer these questions without seeing eachother's answer

I don't want to ask about their health, where their parents were born orwhere there ancestors come from, or even their salaries, I've spoken to them probably a total of 2 hours since they moved in last july

I know I can probably just lie and the gouvernement won't know, but I'd really rather avoid giving bad stats, I'm a sociology student so I understand how important these are. Also, I'm sure some infos could be proved false, idk if they verify it tho

Update : called the census, they picked up the 8th time I called, they're sending separate censuses for me and my roomates.

If you're in the same situation and haven't filled it yet on the website, call them and then fill the census only for yourself, so they have one less to send, but if it's too late it's not a massive issue, the online one will just be trashed