u/bekamaro

Hey! I have been on hrt for 2 years now. I was seeing my endocrinologist every 3 months the first year and every 6 months the second. My Estradiol levels were always at around 60-80 pg/ml. My doctor was telling me that this is a perfect result. I have been using gel. My testosterone levels got low very quickly and were always around 10-20ng/dl. I must say I noticed a lot of changes in the first six months, but then it seemed to just stop. I was telling my doctor every time we met that maybe my levels are too low, but she insisted that I am doing perfectly fine. I was really thinking a lot if I could achieve a better results if my levels were higher and my doctor seemed to just ignore that. She was always saying that if you have levels higher, you will have a high chance of trombose and that some women have the levels I do. I honestly was very stressed because of all those thoughts, but I decided to trust her and just believe in process. It's been more than two years now, and I honestly don't see any changes compared to myself a year and a half ago. Of course it might be that hrt did it best in the first six months already, or the changes are so slow, that I don't notice or etc, but the thoughts that I may have this because I was always having the lower levels makes me feel so bad. I asked her if we could switch to the tablets (the injection in my country are not used at all), but she started to tell me about the risks of tromboses, cancer and so on. She said that my levels are good and I should continue using gel. After blood check this week my Estradiol level is 75 and testosterone 15. I am honestly very lost, I don't know what to do and what to think. I lost the energy to check all those articles about hrt and read the forums about it, to figure it out. I have been doing it for two years and it seems to me that I still haven't figured anything out. So could you please share your knowledge or experience? Are my concerns valid? Am I overthinking or being paranoid? What levels did you have and how do you feel about your transition? Do you have any knowledge about gel vs tablets?

I am still thinking if I can try to push her into changing gel to tablets, because maybe they will increase my levels. I have been on 4 hubs of gel every day btw. I heard about diy and that many trans women do diy injections, which are considered(?) the best way to have hrt. However, I am honestly really scared to do that. I have always been a but scared about medications and so on. However I am becoming more and more desperate and am thinking to take a look at diy. So what do you know/think about that? Even after 2 years on lower than 100pg/ml levels, are there any chances to be getting a results or the window is closed now?

I am super thankful if you read this long text and I am sorry that I had so many thoughts bad structured and too many questions. Thank you in advance for your response💕