I have cptsd. And I thought I have adhd as well, but now my resident psychiatrist friend who only met me once, and our relationship is so shallow- mostly reel relationship 😂 he mentioned that I have borderline disorder instead of ADHD. I am like wtf how!

Disorganised attachment style

What I know is I have fearful avoidant attachment (push pull dynamic), which is highly linked to BPD. I also have absolutely no deep friendships or relationships my whole life (i am 30) despite there is a lot of men interested.

In relationships, I tend to love hate the person. Oh I started to feel intimate or attached? Let’s run away, or I start crying when I feel intimate or when I hug someone! I start crying especially when I am drunk. This puzzled me but I thought it was my avoidant attachment style, didn’t think it might be BPD

Goals - discipline

I also have hard time sticking with anything. I would pick something start it, and drop. This include starting businesses, jobs ect.

Emotional dysregulation

Also i have emotional dysregulation (also symptom of complex trauma) so Idk really.

Manipulation

I am also manipulative, I developed this later in life when I saw how fucked up ppl are, and how manipulation is the only way to adapt and get away with dysfunctional environment.

Complex ptsd - multiple traumas and childhood trauma

The last trauma really fucked me up, and left me numb depressed anxious for 5-6 years. And I really find it very hard to put my life together. I felt very numb and empty and anhedonic and extremely dysregulation and very disconnected from ppl and from life.

Very undisciplined

I have very low consciousness personality trait, which is tied to BPD.

Pessimistic view

I have pessimistic view in life, which to me is very really and shouldn’t be apathologized, because the world is fucked up, we end up ageing, diseases and suffering and die 💀 so it is very pointless and meaningless to me- but this is just my philosophy in life.

I don’t have black white view to things or to people

Actually I am the most tolerable person you could meet. I don’t see ppl as merely good or merely bad, but a mix of both.

Anyone combining them? And what time you take them? Do you space them? What’s your experience?

Should I be Influencer? Or get married?
like really wtf we supposed to do? I cannot be in a normal job with structure and I cannot be freelancer or my own business cause executive dysfunction!

I am tired of my messy life. I am tired of trying to get better life but fail again and again that I lost trust in myself and in my ideas. I lost trust with inspiration I get about jobs, interest because I know I am not gonna stick to it or be committed.

It just sucks and I am aware of my limitations.

I am thinking to just let go of trying to get control over my life cause it sounds not that achievable.

Life could be tons easier with a supportive partner. Or being an influencer > just get followers then u can sell shit online.

Like I hate being public, but what else I am gonna do with my ADHD frozen ass that lie all day doing nothing waiting for the right brain chemistry that might never arrive. Like dose ADHD medication help that much? Or it’s benefits are limited and we gonna still suffer?

Anyone is ADHD influencer? How u manage posting content cause this might also be a problem with ADHD 😣

I am applying for a driving license and I take Vyvanse (lisdexamfetamine) by medical prescription.

Will the presence of this medication in a blood test affect the approval of my license?

Should I inform the authorities beforehand? What documents should I bring (such as the prescription or a letter from my doctor) to prove the medication is legally prescribed? Or what to do about it?

Btw I live in a very regulated country for such medications.

Pretty confusing, as i am trying carnivorish/keto now while on vyvanse. I felt better the first-2nd day, but i think the tiny amount of sugar on 3rd day
made my brain work so good with the right medication dosage of course.

What’s your experience? Does brain work better with or without carbs?

I tried it alone and I found out that it’s not enough for me.

Vyvanse

Vyvanse alone makes me so chill, it lowers my anxiety a lot that I don’t feel like doing anything. We need some stress to be able to do things!

It doesn’t allow me to have better executive functions and selective attention like attomoxtine. No sense of urgency and feel of time like attomoxtine.

Vyvanse is only good for depression, anxiety emotional regulation and better mood in general, no scattered mind with 20+ ideas at the same time, and no mind talk 24/7 and a bit less decision problem.

But nothing else. I am not functional, I don’t do the things i need to do, no selective attention like Attomoxtine gives me, no sense of urgency to do stuff. I am so chill and my anxiety is zero so I don’t have the drive to do anything when I am chill and non anxious.

I titrate the dose up slowly to 60 mg the last week. And so no improvements on 60 mg for executive functioning.

Attomoxtine

Initially it was my magic pill, it works immediately for me like in an 1-2 hrs i can feel it.

it erased my yearsss of cptsd, chronic depression, anxiety, is gone immediately like nothing else (vyvase also excellent to do this), my ptsd symptoms disappeared for the first time!!! Like wtf nothing worked for my mood & ptsd like this med.

My self talk mind is so quit, no 20+ ideas at same time, a better concentration, very optimistic and wanted to experience everything new. It brought me back to life after years of suffering.

A bit better executive functioning (but not enough). Almost no task initiation.

After few months on it, IT MADE ME DEPRESSED, zero dopamine, zero drive and motivation, I didn’t want to do anything more than just surviving my day.
It made me super dehydrated, so fatigued all the time.

It was making me so sleepy

that i had to drink tons of caffeine to offset this.
And with too much caffeine with attomoxtine, it was putting me into fight and flight response that I couldn’t settle and sit down without doing anything.

I started overworking all day up to 14 hrs cause I am in a sense of urgency 24/7. My skin became terrible. So dehydrated skin that it seems like my skin aged 5 years in this few months.

I decided to stop it, and then became super depressed again and non functional af. I was at home all the time, lost my job, no gym anymore. I was EXTREMELY DEPRESSED like always when non medicated.

Combination of vyvanse + attomoxtine

These two days I am took both vyvanse & Attomoxtine.

1st day it was so good, I thought I found the right medication for me, but today I am depressed, in low mood, and feels like Vyvanse isn’t working. Like even on attomoxtine alone, i am not that low mood.

What is your experience yall with this? Especially combining?

I am so sick of my life and sick of trying medication all the time and not succeeding. Why wtf some ppl have to suffer all life and trying so hard to just be merely normal and functional while others are just normal like that!! Like wtf is that. It’s so unfair that makes me rage.

I found out that dresses are so easy to wear.

Hear is why:
1- No need to fit different pieces together.

2- no need to iron them (most dresses i have, i don’t buy dresses that needs a lot of ironing).

3- they look amazing - so no need to keep trying tons on pieces every morning to find an outfit that looks good - thus zero decision fatigue and cognitive load every morning and before every going out.

And as someone with ADHD who already struggles with executive dysfunction a lottt, I cannot justify getting into this headache of “non dress outfits” anymore.

What do you think about this? I have been thinking about changing my wear drop to mainly dresses, and convenient outfits - needs less ironing and easily match.

Share you experience and thoughts on this? 💡

I live in Iraq. I think it is hard to get top well known companies. But I have found an emirates company that sell GHK-CU, the claim >= 99% purity. I sent them an email requested COA and stuff, but still how to make sure it is good company?

I am not sure if i am allowed to ask this here but I am so confused as it is very hard to obtain this in my country.

I had hylurodanise damage that severely damaged my skin, made it saggy, loss collagen/ elastin/ hyaluronic acid from the skin. My face sagging now at young age 😞 it never recovered from 5-6 years after.

Doing Redlight therapy , exercise, healthy diet, but doesn’t do much honestly.

I tried peptde for 3 months, didn’t notice much change. I know this is the best thing to produce hyaluronic acid, collagen, elastin.

So peptde? Exosomes? Copper peptides?

Pls share what do u think it helps with this.

It is making me extremely tired that i cannot do anything. does this go away?

if it doesn't improve what other things that helps with executvie functions? we don't have stimulants available, only retalin which i hate, and wellbutrin which doesn't seem to help much with exevutive functioning plus it makes my hair shed A LOT.

A long journey of medication history off failed SSRIs and SNRIs made me wonder if I should take adhd medication instead of SSRIs. I have a personality profile of ADHD but no psychiatrist I met actually confirmed it.

Atomoxetine

Worked wonderfully. Immediately worked within hours from the first day!

I took 18-25 mg only, anything more would make me very depressed.

Effects

* Anxiety disappeared completely for the first time in my life my brain just became so quiet for the first time in my life
* no noise talk 24\\7
* no 20 ideas and interests at the same time competing with each other
* so much better signal to noise
* extremely well emotional regulation and self-efficacy, like I am in control (CPTSD really missed with this part making me so out of control and zero self-efficacy and helpless)
* CPTSD & depression & anxiety all of these symptoms just disappeared WOW!
* I felt so alive, motivated, felt joy, ancipation, optimistic- never felt this way before
* Functional human being, started working, my life became regulated

Both me or my psychiatrist were surprised by these effects, but when you think about PTSD\\CPTSD brain it makes a lot of sense since it looks like ADHD brain, so focusing on top-down control makes so much sense.

Side effects

* Sever dehydration, even lost the thrust signal which made it extremely hard to hydrate well
* Muscle tension
* Fatigue
* sedation- After a while that I had to take tons of caffine to feel awake (more deyhration)
* Looks like aged my skin rapidly from severe dehydration, and no products ever worked to hydrate my skin
* fight-flight mode\\ made me feel like I cannot rest and I must do things all the time and became workaholic - then comes extreme emotional blunting afterwards
* emotional blunting, low motivation, joy and drive to do things (looks like depression)

So, after about 8-10 months, I had to cut it out due to these side effects, but I am more inclined to try adhd meds now, I miss feeling functional and normal.

Serotonin doesn't makes sense and wellbutrin merely enhance mood and energy. Now idk how to manage the side effects. Probably trying smth else soon.

I saw someone here mentioning intensive 9-5 hrs/ or 24 hr rehab program for two weeks which helped them.

I want to know where I can find such places? And if anyone had experience with them. Do you need trauma specialist that they have certain trauma training?

Also how do trust whatever theripest there are. I find it hard to feel comfortable with theripest, as medical professionals let me down half way, and i have to build trust.

A long journey of medication history off failed SSRIs and SNRIs made me wonder if I should take adhd medication instead of SSRIs. I have a personality profile of ADHD but no psychiatrist I met actually confirmed it.

Atomoxetine
Worked wonderfully. Immediately worked within hours from the first day!

I took 18-25 mg only, anything more would make me very depressed.

Effects

• Anxiety disappeared completely for the first time in my life my brain just became so quiet for the first time in my life
• so much better signal to noise
• extremely well emotional regulation and self-efficacy, like I am in control (CPTSD really missed with this part making me so out of control and zero self-efficacy and helpless)
• CPTSD & depression & anxiety all of these symptoms just disappeared WOW!
• I felt so alive, motivated, felt joy, ancipation, optimistic- never felt this way before
• Functional human being, started working, my life became regulated

Both me or my psychiatrist were surprised by these effects, but when you think about PTSD\CPTSD brain it makes a lot of sense since it looks like ADHD brain, so focusing on top-down control makes so much sense.

Side effects

• Sever dehydration, even lost the thrust signal which made it extremely hard to hydrate well
• Muscle tension
• Fatigue
• sedation- After a while that I had to take tons of caffine to feel awake (more deyhration)
• Looks like aged my skin rapidly from severe dehydration, and no products ever worked to hydrate my skin
• fight-flight mode\ made me feel like I cannot rest and I must do things all the time and became workaholic - then comes extreme emotional blunting afterwards
• emotional blunting, low motivation, joy and drive to do things (looks like depression)

So, after about 8-10 months, I had to cut it out due to these side effects, but I am more inclined to try adhd meds now, I miss feeling functional and normal.

Wellbutrin

works well for mood and energy and sense of enjoyment and sense of peace, but never activating my PFC like atomoxetine, completely different effects. (about 4-5 weeks now)

Serotonin doesn't makes sense:

PTSD\ CPTSD have already have problem with reward system, and ssris only makes the patient more fatigued, anhedonia, zombie dump and lifeless by effecting dopamine negatively thus unfunctional, so what's the point?

Why atomoxetine working so well?

A long journey of medication history off failed SSRIs and SNRIs made me wonder if I should take adhd medication instead of SSRIs. I have a personality profile of ADHD but no psychiatrist I met actually confirmed it.

Atomoxetine
Worked wonderfully. Immediately worked within hours from the first day!

I took 18-25 mg only, anything more would make me very depressed.

Effects

• Anxiety disappeared completely for the first time in my life my brain just became so quiet for the first time in my life
• no noise talk 24\7
• no 20 ideas and interests at the same time competing with each other
• so much better signal to noise
• extremely well emotional regulation and self-efficacy, like I am in control (CPTSD really missed with this part making me so out of control and zero self-efficacy and helpless)
• CPTSD & depression & anxiety all of these symptoms just disappeared WOW!
• I felt so alive, motivated, felt joy, ancipation, optimistic- never felt this way before
• Functional human being, started working, my life became regulated

Both me or my psychiatrist were surprised by these effects, but when you think about PTSD\CPTSD brain it makes a lot of sense since it looks like ADHD brain, so focusing on top-down control makes so much sense.

Side effects

• Sever dehydration, even lost the thrust signal which made it extremely hard to hydrate well
• Muscle tension
• Fatigue
• sedation- After a while that I had to take tons of caffine to feel awake (more deyhration)
• Looks like aged my skin rapidly from severe dehydration, and no products ever worked to hydrate my skin
• fight-flight mode\ made me feel like I cannot rest and I must do things all the time and became workaholic - then comes extreme emotional blunting afterwards
• emotional blunting, low motivation, joy and drive to do things (looks like depression)

So, after about 8-10 months, I had to cut it out due to these side effects, but I am more inclined to try adhd meds now, I miss feeling functional and normal.

Wellbutrin

works well for mood and energy and sense of enjoyment and sense of peace, but never activating my PFC like atomoxetine, completely different effects. (about 4-5 weeks now)

Serotonin doesn't makes sense:

PTSD\ CPTSD have already have problem with reward system, and ssris only makes the patient more fatigued, anhedonia, zombie dump and lifeless by effecting dopamine negatively thus unfunctional, so what's the point?

I need medication suggestions please. I miss my functional brain on atomoxetine.

For executive functioning, depression, low motivation, low interest in things?

For executive functioning, depression, low motivation, low interest in things?

It is mainly used for parkension and sometimes for depression. It inhibit the enzyme that breakdown dopamine and increase dopamine.

It is also neuroprotective and neurogenesis. Helps prevent cognative decline.

Sounds very good med.

I am on 150 mg SR for about a month now and I am so tired that i cannot function or exercise or do anything.

Any insight why this is happening? I cannot afford being tired jobless person.

Wellbutrin is very good and effective. But I think I need more functioning/ productivity.

Should I take 150 mg SR twice a day?

Edit: I saw ppl mentioning that upping the dose gave them depression and fatigue for a 4-6 weeks 🫪🫪
NO thanks