u/crawlen

I'm in California, and I wfh for a company based on Maryland. I started in June last year and gave birth in May this year. I took off 17 weeks with California disability, and my work paid the gap between the state disability wages for 12 weeks. I have decided to return to work on September 10th. My mom will come and care for baby for a month while I work, then MIL will do the same, getting us to early November before we go to daycare.

Technically I can still take paid family leave although it is partial pay. So I could do that after our moms leave and it would take us through the holidays. I haven't brought this up to my boss or HR yet. My husband said he's not concerned about the money, but he'd worry about my standing at work if I go back for two months and then take two more off. I really wouldn't want to put my job in jeopardy, especially since wfh is not always easy to come by.

WWYD?

I thought we had a large freezer, but it is FULL of frozen food. I'm grateful to have bagged somewhere over 30oz, but it barely fits. I am pumping for just 1 bottle per day and may pump more when baby goes to daycare in November. I end up with a couple extra oz here and there and I can't bear to toss it. We've talked about getting a separate freezer so we can do meal prep too, but is this the right time? I'd want something not too big - does anyone have recommendations?

I grew up north of Sacramento and my husband grew up in Connecticut. CT has grown on me, but...his whole immediate family moved to the suburbs of Charlotte, North Carolina five years ago. NC has not grown on me yet. My parents are still in my hometown. We have been bouncing around coastal California and are all the way down in Ventura County now.

We just had a baby, and we're trying to plan our family travel for the next year. It's hard. Driving 7 hours (not including stops) to see my parents or flying across the country to see his. He also has extended family in the midwest and some still living in Connecticut. We have an extra room for our parents to stay when they visit, but the extended visits are taxing. They also won't come to us for major holidays.

I'm trying to keep an open mind about NC but I have a growing resentment about the very idea of moving there. My husband doesn't really like it either, but given the choice between that and inland norcal, he'd go to NC. I think each of us just feels more comfortable around our own family. Whichever we choose would be unfair to one person. So how does a couple make this kind of decision?

Baby is 11 weeks and mostly ebf after a stint with bottles to encourage more weight gain. We're keeping a bottle in the rotation once a day so she stays used to it for future babysitting nights and daycare.

We're going out of town and staying with family at an Airbnb. There will likely be an opportunity for my husband and I to go out on our own, which we haven't done since baby was born. Which means we'd probably want to bring a bottle and my pump so that someone can feed baby while we're gone.

Husband and I and baby were on a trip on our own during our bottle stint and the amount of baby stuff we had to bring was outrageous. I'd love to cut down by not bringing pump and bottle items, but I feel like I might be disappointed to not have the flexibility.

What would you do?

We are having weight gain issues. Went to an LC for weighted feeds. We had 3oz feed around 5 weeks and did some bottle top ups after that. Then we had 2oz feed around 6 weeks and added more pumping and more top ups after that. Then we had a 1oz feed around 7 weeks. Now they want us to do only bottles for a few days to see if the weight gain picks up. After the 1oz feed, I used my eufy s1 on the way home and got 3oz from that pump. I will do what I need to to keep my baby healthy, but I'm worried this is the end of direct breastfeeding.

Would love to hear the physical, logistical, and emotional reasons and everything in between.

I'm looking down the line of potentially EP. My supply is apparently fine but baby has been sleepy, dropping percentiles, not transferring enough. We are going to experiment with a few days of EP and idk if I'll go back to nursing after this. She's 8 weeks tomorrow and I was hoping to EBF until 3-4 months when she goes to daycare, then nurse when she's home and pump when she's gone. Hopefully for a total of 6 months. I didn't foresee having feeding issues and I've been so emotional about it. So much triple feeding and LC appointments. It's kind of a relief to EP for a few days after triple feeding for two weeks. But I also don't know how long I can EP before I decide it's not "worth it". How did everyone get here and how much longer will you go?

We noticed slow weight gain around 5 weeks and our pediatrician recommended topping off her breastfeeding sessions with a bottle. At first he said do 1oz but the following week, he said, "oh give her up to 3 or even 4oz, as much as she wants."

We asked how to know if she wanted milk versus just enjoying sucking. Both he and the lactation consultant used similar wording, like "if she's really going at it (the bottle)." The thing is, she is always going at it unless she is like, falling asleep. Sometimes we will take it away when it's empty and she will cry this type of cry that I've never heard before. Then we'll give it back (empty) and she will just keep sucking.

I'm starting to understand when she's had a good breastfeeding session or not, so that helps a bit with knowing how much to top up. Also I understand the rationale to feed her extra so she can make up for some time where she gained weight slowly, but then she gets super full and sometimes gassy and I'm worried she's uncomfortable. What's the right thing to do here?

Breastfeeding was totally fine the first two weeks, but we noticed slower weight gain recently and now we are on a crazy feeding/pumping schedule. Deciding to do IVF after hitting so many roadblocks with infertility was hard. I was fortunate to have an easy pregnancy. Then I had an induction and unplanned C-section. Now I am struggling with breastfeeding. I feel so similarly to how I felt with infertility and birth: like I want my body to perform and it just won't. Part of me wants to keep pushing through and another part wonders if I should set my pride aside. Has anyone else been in this boat?

Baby is now 6 weeks. We've been blessed with a pretty good sleeper, but I'm worried about her eating. At the 2 week visit, our pediatrician said we don't have to wake her overnight to feed. But he also said to feed at least 8 times per day.

It used to be that baby would wake up once in the middle of the night on her own, and then she'd fuss a lot in the afternoon/evening which would give us some extra feeds. But some days she sleeps most of the night and then takes long morning naps. I've been trying to wake her from the long daytime naps so that she doesn't go more than 3 hours between feeds in the day. But if she sleeps most of the night and then doesn't have a fussy period in the evening, then we have had some days with only 6 feeds.

Most of the time we have 7 feeds in the day. Is this too few for her age?

Baby is almost 6 weeks. She gained her birth weight back by 2 weeks like she needed to, but recently her weight gain has slowed. She was born kind of big, 9lbs 3oz. Her weight gain since the 2 week appointment has been about 1/3 oz per day.

Our pediatrician seemed a little concerned but not extremely so. He said her weight should be closer to 1/2-1 oz per day. He asked us to supplement each feed make sure she feeds at least 8 times her day (she had slipped down to 7 since sleeping longer stretches at night). The supplementing is 1-2oz of breast milk in a bottle after each feed.

We also saw our LC and she confirmed baby transferred 88ml (almost 3oz) during that feed, at 1:30pm. But she agreed with the pediatrician's feeding plan and told me to pump 4 times per day to protect my supply while we supplement. We're following up with both the pediatrician and the LC next week. Our LC said it things are going well and the weight gain picks up, we can talk about how to taper off the supplementation.

Has anyone else been in a similar position? What did things look like for you long term? What does tapering off look like? I'm eager to not supplement because it's a lot of extra work to pump after breastfeeding, but of course I'll do whatever I need to. I have to go back to work in a couple of months and will pump then anyway, but I'd love to get as much bf-only time in as I can before that!

I'm going to attend two wedding events over Labor Day weekend, at which time I'll be over 3 months pp. One event is cocktail attire and the other is "smart casual". Breastfeeding has been going well for the past 5 weeks, but I'm still getting the hang of things. And of course I'm spending some time thinking about/shopping for this wedding in September haha.

I've been looking at advice about breastfeeding-friendly wedding guest dresses, and the consensus seems to be that wrap dresses with a deep neck are the best. I looked around and haven't found any that I really like. I generally like deep neck and spaghetti straps, but the styles I like tend to be more fitted, meaning I'd probably have to disrobe halfway for boob access. And idk how I'd feel going braless at 3 months pp.

So, have any of you done a non-breastfeeding-friendly style at an event and made it work? Curious to hear your experiences!

I stopped working on May 8th and delivered on May 29th via C-section.

I filed my pregnancy disability after giving birth, but as I understand, that's okay because there's a grace period for filing. I called my doctor's office to ask for the medical certification letter for both pregnancy and after birth. My doctor's assistant said that I just needed one application and one letter. Okay, that's cool. Then she insisted that she could only file the letter for 8 weeks from the day that I stopped working and my doctor would have to extend after.

The timing seems incorrect as I thought I would get up to 4 weeks at the end of pregnancy (I would have used almost 3 weeks from my last day of work at 38 weeks until delivery at 40+6) and THEN 8 weeks starting from my delivery date. Is that right? My doctor shouldn't need to say anything special for this amount of time. Or does it not really matter?

The assistant also asked repeatedly to tell her why I was filing "so late" and insisted that I needed to give a reason so she could tell "them" (idk who she was referring to). I filed within the allowed time by the edd, so I don't know why I'd be in trouble for this?

I should probably be grateful that my baby loves the baby bjorn bouncer, but sometimes I or my husband just want to hold her without her screaming - and sometimes we're out and about and our arms are the only option! I've tried walking, swaying, dancing, but I haven't quite cracked the code. She even kikes the bouncer when it's not moving, so I wonder if positioning is a big part of it? Does anyone know the secret?

Baby is 4 weeks currently. I have some health anxiety and have been trying to be reasonable but still safe before baby is old enough to get vaccines.

We asked our parents and siblings to get TDAP as they came to visit between weeks 1-3. Family who had to fly to visit us wore masks in the plane. Also kept the wash hands and no kissing rules in effect.

I have been keeping a rule of having no indoor visitors except for those immediate family members. We had friends come to visit on our doorstep and most recently had a more extended visit where I requested we stay on the back patio (but I let them in to use the bathroom, grab something from the fridge, etc.) and no one holds baby. Also I don't want to take her to public indoor places for extended periods (eg not dinner or long shopping trips, but a quick coffee order would be fine).

My husband asked how long we need to keep these rules. I think he is eager to host people at our house for dinner since that'd be the easiest way for us to socialize. I was thinking we should keep most of these rules for at least 3 months until she has her shots, and I would probably want to extend the kissing thing even longer. Am I being too much of an isolationist though?

I'm generally an active person, so resting after my C-section has been tough mentally but I've been trying. Thankfully my husband has been doing pretty much everything for me, but I am eager to do more. I also love being outside and have been walking 0.5-0.75 miles per day these past few days.

I'm 3 weeks postpartum and still having some dark and bright red bleeding. It is not heavy and I can wear a regular pad and underwear with no issues. But sometimes I see a dark red clot in the toilet, maybe the size of a quarter or a bit larger, and then it's bright red when I wipe.

Do you think I'm overdoing it with walking, or is this normal bleeding at 3 weeks postpartum?

I don't want to share the actual name, but let's say it's Margaret and we as parents introduced her as Maggie. My inlaws are visiting and everyone is calling her Maggie, but one person calls her Margie. He definitely knows and it's not an unintentional slip up - he is just doing it to be annoying and it's working! The name and nickname belonged to my grandma, so it's special to me. If my daughter wants to go by something different when she grows up and has a voice, then so be it. But should I be correcting people about the nickname while she's still a baby?

Little girl is 2 weeks and happy and chubby. Per our pediatrician, we'd previously been waking her every 3 hours to feed if she didn't wake up first. Now we're cleared to let her sleep longer but...

We've been thinking about getting her into a routine of sorts - still following her cues but having a couple of scheduled feeds that we never skip: 10PM and 7AM. A lot of books seem to recommend this to signal the beginning and end of nighttime. We did it for a couple of days and it's been fine. In theory I like it but...

I am still recovering from birth and am having a hard time with my own sleep. Last week it was night sweats. This week it's unbearably itchy hives. I can hardly sleep more than an hour at a time I am so itchy. So this morning she ate at 5am was fussing until about 6:15am. I thought it'd be good to just let her sleep past 7am if she chose to and in turn maybe I could get a little more rest. My husband disagreed and said we should still wake at 7am, but he went along with what I wanted anyway. She ended up waking again at 7:30 anyway lol, but I appreciated the extra half hour or rest!

So my question is, how much commitment to the "schedule" is too much? Or am I ruining our future routine by sleeping in? I always want to prioritize my kid's well-being, but I need to look out for my recovery too, right?

I'm 2 weeks postpartum, and my mother-in-law gifted me some nursing-specific clothes. She lives in another state but ordered the items to be delivered to my house. She bought 6 items: a dress, a jumpsuit, and a pajama set, each in two sizes. She encouraged me to keep both sizes as I'm still a larger size while in recovering from pregnancy.

I've already thanked her and complimented her choices, but I actually don't like any of the items. One is just not my style, and the other two are fine but don't fit me right in either size.

She told me via text to feel free to return anything if I don't like it. But it seems rude to return EVERYTHING she bought. Plus the packages did not include gift receipts, so I will have to ask her for return info.

Should I return it all? Keep 1-2 things and return the others? Am I overthinking it?

They gave me a bunch of random paperwork, maybe about 10 lines on C-section care. I asked for more and they brought me a postpartum packet from a neighboring hospital but it still only had two pages with not too much info.

It's been a week, and I feel lost. My procedure was unplanned but thankfully had no complications. But I feel like I should have gotten more information about recovery? Scheduling my 2-week follow-up has been a pain in the ass. Apparently I'm supposed to remove my incision dressing tonight but I have no details about how, what to look for, etc. idk if I'm just hormonal, but I feel like no one really cares even though this was a major medical event. Is this just the way it is?

I had a C-section on Friday and came home two nights ago. I am starting to feel better, but I have a weird mental block about lying on my side?? Like I'm afraid my organs will slide around and I'll feel it. I am a side sleeper 99.99% of the time, but I have only been sleeping on my back with a slight incline since the procedure. DAE feel like this?