u/crawlen

We have a used uppababy minu with the from birth kit, but baby is almost too long for the from birth attachment already! We have the other seat, but I'm not ready to have her not facing me...!

I've been looking at other parent-facing strollers but they seem bulky. We like the minu because it fits in my husband's tiny trunk and we are also tight on space at home.

Any suggestions? Thanks all!!

Husband and I have just enough money to live in a town we really like but not quite enough money to buy a house. We talk about moving so we can buy, which will probably be a better financial move in the long run. This is what each set of our parents did, and now we're parents too. But I am really sad to leave the community I live in and all the amenities (coastal California). Actual new location TBD. WWYD?

With interest rates being what they are, I'm inclined to make a large down payment (30% or more) on our future home to reduce our monthly payment. We have enough money to do so.

My husband says that instead we should just put down the requisite 20% and put the rest in the stock market. We have some money in the market right now, but I'd personally rather have the rest of our money wrapped up in something we actually use rather than basically gambling it away. Also it seems like with inflation and everything, the expected return on the market is not really more than the guaranteed interest we'd pay on our loan.

What's the right move here?

All my friends are in the Bay Area, but I moved near LA recently. It's been less than a year, so I'm still adjusting. In theory, I could make new friends down here. I've met people, we hang out a little, but we're still getting to know each other. I try to put myself out there, but everything is still surface level. I know it takes time.

The bay is more expensive than where I am now. I can afford it, I probably just wouldn't have as nice of an apartment and would save less money. I feel like I want to go back so I can be closer to my friends. It feels silly because they could also up and move any time they want, but I know many of them will stay for good. WWYD?

We just had our first baby a few months ago. We've been talking about going on vacation abroad. Sometimes the idea comes up of inviting one set of grandparents along and they can babysit, or maybe also having an aunt and cousins to make it a full family trip. Could be fun, but (1) I'm not used to it (never been abroad with my parents or my in-laws, but my husband went abroad with his parents when he was a kid) and (2) idk how to make it feel even with the grandparents who DON'T get the invite AND (3) our within-US family vacations with them always have an element of stress.

Personally I'd rather travel with just our small family unit. The convenience of having a babysitter does not outweigh having to deal with our parents while traveling internationally. What have you guys done?

EDIT: I didn't mean to sound like an entitled person who would saddle their aging parents with babysitting for days on end while I go galavanting around! I was more thinking that husband and I could have one dinner or maybe a drink here or there depending on the length of the trip.

My SIL's daughter (9F) is somewhat precocious. She also has a little bit of an "attitude" - sighing or saying "UGH", rolling her eyes, etc. But she is very creative and sweet. Super fun to hang out with. Loves to draw. Plays fun imagination games like kids do. I know I have a different view because husband and I live on the other side of the country, but I genuinely think she is a great kid.

Thing is, my FIL, MIL, and BIL (husband's brother - 9F's other uncle) always say negative things about her to me. Not outright insults, but more like unpleasant gossip. MIL will talk about how sweet 9F's younger brother (5M) is, and then say that 9F is mean. FIL will make comments about how 9F is too scared of swimming, is a picky eater, etc. And they will also talk about how 5M knows math better than 9F. I think part of it is worry too - obviously they love her and are worried about how she'll be in the future.

Again, it's probably different for me because I don't see her everyday. I know 9-year-olds can be tough. I know she can be mean to her parents - I have seen it - and it must be difficult if she's like that everyday. I just can't stand the way they talk about her, constantly comparing her to her younger brother and saying all this negative stuff. Like maybe things would be better if they spent even a fraction of their breath saying something positive about her.

In general, I hate when adults talk bad about children and try to put them in a box when they are still growing and learning! So it feels even worse when actual family does it!

We are at 12 weeks and doing 8-11 feedings per day (1 bottle of pumped milk each day).

We had some weight gain issues around 5 weeks. Everything is back on track, but I'm afraid of doing less than 8 feeds per day. She sleeps well overnight, so we are really packing in the day time feeds. I feel I need to be on a schedule to accomplish it. Sometimes she seems not that hungry, but I worry that if I try to go off her hunger cues instead of a schedule, I might miss something. I know things change with age, but what's appropriate for each child?

Counting my lucky stars that I live in coastal California. In January, I moved from one beach town to another, and I am feeling bummed. World's smallest violin over here.

I miss my friends and neighbors. I miss the way things looked and felt. My apartment was "worse" but I even miss that.

This new town is objectively great otherwise I wouldn't have bothered with it in the first place. I've met new people, neighbors are great, weather is better, things are cheaper, I live in a HOUSE (though still renting) and we have more space for our baby! But still can't shake the feeling that I hopped to the wrong side of the fence.

What's a surefire way to NOT keep dreaming of greener pastures? I'm very fortunate to be here, and I don't want to take it for granted.

I'm in California, and I wfh for a company based on Maryland. I started in June last year and gave birth in May this year. I took off 17 weeks with California disability, and my work paid the gap between the state disability wages for 12 weeks. I have decided to return to work on September 10th. My mom will come and care for baby for a month while I work, then MIL will do the same, getting us to early November before we go to daycare.

Technically I can still take paid family leave although it is partial pay. So I could do that after our moms leave and it would take us through the holidays. I haven't brought this up to my boss or HR yet. My husband said he's not concerned about the money, but he'd worry about my standing at work if I go back for two months and then take two more off. I really wouldn't want to put my job in jeopardy, especially since wfh is not always easy to come by.

WWYD?

I thought we had a large freezer, but it is FULL of frozen food. I'm grateful to have bagged somewhere over 30oz, but it barely fits. I am pumping for just 1 bottle per day and may pump more when baby goes to daycare in November. I end up with a couple extra oz here and there and I can't bear to toss it. We've talked about getting a separate freezer so we can do meal prep too, but is this the right time? I'd want something not too big - does anyone have recommendations?

I grew up north of Sacramento and my husband grew up in Connecticut. CT has grown on me, but...his whole immediate family moved to the suburbs of Charlotte, North Carolina five years ago. NC has not grown on me yet. My parents are still in my hometown. We have been bouncing around coastal California and are all the way down in Ventura County now.

We just had a baby, and we're trying to plan our family travel for the next year. It's hard. Driving 7 hours (not including stops) to see my parents or flying across the country to see his. He also has extended family in the midwest and some still living in Connecticut. We have an extra room for our parents to stay when they visit, but the extended visits are taxing. They also won't come to us for major holidays.

I'm trying to keep an open mind about NC but I have a growing resentment about the very idea of moving there. My husband doesn't really like it either, but given the choice between that and inland norcal, he'd go to NC. I think each of us just feels more comfortable around our own family. Whichever we choose would be unfair to one person. So how does a couple make this kind of decision?

Baby is 11 weeks and mostly ebf after a stint with bottles to encourage more weight gain. We're keeping a bottle in the rotation once a day so she stays used to it for future babysitting nights and daycare.

We're going out of town and staying with family at an Airbnb. There will likely be an opportunity for my husband and I to go out on our own, which we haven't done since baby was born. Which means we'd probably want to bring a bottle and my pump so that someone can feed baby while we're gone.

Husband and I and baby were on a trip on our own during our bottle stint and the amount of baby stuff we had to bring was outrageous. I'd love to cut down by not bringing pump and bottle items, but I feel like I might be disappointed to not have the flexibility.

What would you do?

We are having weight gain issues. Went to an LC for weighted feeds. We had 3oz feed around 5 weeks and did some bottle top ups after that. Then we had 2oz feed around 6 weeks and added more pumping and more top ups after that. Then we had a 1oz feed around 7 weeks. Now they want us to do only bottles for a few days to see if the weight gain picks up. After the 1oz feed, I used my eufy s1 on the way home and got 3oz from that pump. I will do what I need to to keep my baby healthy, but I'm worried this is the end of direct breastfeeding.

Would love to hear the physical, logistical, and emotional reasons and everything in between.

I'm looking down the line of potentially EP. My supply is apparently fine but baby has been sleepy, dropping percentiles, not transferring enough. We are going to experiment with a few days of EP and idk if I'll go back to nursing after this. She's 8 weeks tomorrow and I was hoping to EBF until 3-4 months when she goes to daycare, then nurse when she's home and pump when she's gone. Hopefully for a total of 6 months. I didn't foresee having feeding issues and I've been so emotional about it. So much triple feeding and LC appointments. It's kind of a relief to EP for a few days after triple feeding for two weeks. But I also don't know how long I can EP before I decide it's not "worth it". How did everyone get here and how much longer will you go?

We noticed slow weight gain around 5 weeks and our pediatrician recommended topping off her breastfeeding sessions with a bottle. At first he said do 1oz but the following week, he said, "oh give her up to 3 or even 4oz, as much as she wants."

We asked how to know if she wanted milk versus just enjoying sucking. Both he and the lactation consultant used similar wording, like "if she's really going at it (the bottle)." The thing is, she is always going at it unless she is like, falling asleep. Sometimes we will take it away when it's empty and she will cry this type of cry that I've never heard before. Then we'll give it back (empty) and she will just keep sucking.

I'm starting to understand when she's had a good breastfeeding session or not, so that helps a bit with knowing how much to top up. Also I understand the rationale to feed her extra so she can make up for some time where she gained weight slowly, but then she gets super full and sometimes gassy and I'm worried she's uncomfortable. What's the right thing to do here?

Breastfeeding was totally fine the first two weeks, but we noticed slower weight gain recently and now we are on a crazy feeding/pumping schedule. Deciding to do IVF after hitting so many roadblocks with infertility was hard. I was fortunate to have an easy pregnancy. Then I had an induction and unplanned C-section. Now I am struggling with breastfeeding. I feel so similarly to how I felt with infertility and birth: like I want my body to perform and it just won't. Part of me wants to keep pushing through and another part wonders if I should set my pride aside. Has anyone else been in this boat?

Baby is now 6 weeks. We've been blessed with a pretty good sleeper, but I'm worried about her eating. At the 2 week visit, our pediatrician said we don't have to wake her overnight to feed. But he also said to feed at least 8 times per day.

It used to be that baby would wake up once in the middle of the night on her own, and then she'd fuss a lot in the afternoon/evening which would give us some extra feeds. But some days she sleeps most of the night and then takes long morning naps. I've been trying to wake her from the long daytime naps so that she doesn't go more than 3 hours between feeds in the day. But if she sleeps most of the night and then doesn't have a fussy period in the evening, then we have had some days with only 6 feeds.

Most of the time we have 7 feeds in the day. Is this too few for her age?

Baby is almost 6 weeks. She gained her birth weight back by 2 weeks like she needed to, but recently her weight gain has slowed. She was born kind of big, 9lbs 3oz. Her weight gain since the 2 week appointment has been about 1/3 oz per day.

Our pediatrician seemed a little concerned but not extremely so. He said her weight should be closer to 1/2-1 oz per day. He asked us to supplement each feed make sure she feeds at least 8 times her day (she had slipped down to 7 since sleeping longer stretches at night). The supplementing is 1-2oz of breast milk in a bottle after each feed.

We also saw our LC and she confirmed baby transferred 88ml (almost 3oz) during that feed, at 1:30pm. But she agreed with the pediatrician's feeding plan and told me to pump 4 times per day to protect my supply while we supplement. We're following up with both the pediatrician and the LC next week. Our LC said it things are going well and the weight gain picks up, we can talk about how to taper off the supplementation.

Has anyone else been in a similar position? What did things look like for you long term? What does tapering off look like? I'm eager to not supplement because it's a lot of extra work to pump after breastfeeding, but of course I'll do whatever I need to. I have to go back to work in a couple of months and will pump then anyway, but I'd love to get as much bf-only time in as I can before that!

I'm going to attend two wedding events over Labor Day weekend, at which time I'll be over 3 months pp. One event is cocktail attire and the other is "smart casual". Breastfeeding has been going well for the past 5 weeks, but I'm still getting the hang of things. And of course I'm spending some time thinking about/shopping for this wedding in September haha.

I've been looking at advice about breastfeeding-friendly wedding guest dresses, and the consensus seems to be that wrap dresses with a deep neck are the best. I looked around and haven't found any that I really like. I generally like deep neck and spaghetti straps, but the styles I like tend to be more fitted, meaning I'd probably have to disrobe halfway for boob access. And idk how I'd feel going braless at 3 months pp.

So, have any of you done a non-breastfeeding-friendly style at an event and made it work? Curious to hear your experiences!

I stopped working on May 8th and delivered on May 29th via C-section.

I filed my pregnancy disability after giving birth, but as I understand, that's okay because there's a grace period for filing. I called my doctor's office to ask for the medical certification letter for both pregnancy and after birth. My doctor's assistant said that I just needed one application and one letter. Okay, that's cool. Then she insisted that she could only file the letter for 8 weeks from the day that I stopped working and my doctor would have to extend after.

The timing seems incorrect as I thought I would get up to 4 weeks at the end of pregnancy (I would have used almost 3 weeks from my last day of work at 38 weeks until delivery at 40+6) and THEN 8 weeks starting from my delivery date. Is that right? My doctor shouldn't need to say anything special for this amount of time. Or does it not really matter?

The assistant also asked repeatedly to tell her why I was filing "so late" and insisted that I needed to give a reason so she could tell "them" (idk who she was referring to). I filed within the allowed time by the edd, so I don't know why I'd be in trouble for this?