u/dream_monkey

I’m going with “Your kidding. I mean, Jesus Christ.”

Favorite WH40k Primarch?

The Primarchs are genetically engineered space tyrants, bred to take over the galaxy. All of them have superhuman strength, intelligence, resilience, and even other unique abilities like precognition and shadow walking. A list of Primarchs is below.

I. Lion El’Jonson - Closeted Space Daddy
II. Redacted
III. Fulgrim - Space Twink
IV. Perturabo- Space Bottom
V. Jaghati Khan - Space Otter
VI. Leman Russ - Space Wolf
VII. Rogal Dorn - Space Top
VIII. Konrad Curze - Space Leatherman
IX. Sanguinius - Space Glam
X. Ferrus Manus - Space Daddy but with iron hands
XI. Redacted
XII. Angron - Space Bear
XIII. Roboute Guilliman - Space Daddy
XIV. Mortarion - Space Gym Daddy
XV. Magnus the Red - Space Vers
XVI. Horus Lupercal - Space Jock
XVII. Lorgar Aurelian - Space Altar Boy
XVIII. Vulcan - Black Space Chub
XIX. Corvus Corax - Space DL
XX. Alpharius and Omegon - Space DINKS

You could call it irony of fate, but these were my three favorite Pokémon.

Yes, Gardevoir, Lopunny, and Vaporeon were my three favorite Pokémon of all time.

But guess what? Now I can't even like them, let alone say they're my favorites, without sounding like a fucking pervert. Thanks, Pokémon community. I'm screwed now.

And what pisses me off is that I've always loved these three Pokémon without any sexual intentions whatsoever.

I loved Gardevoir because of her gracefulness, elegance, and overall design.

Lopunny? I just thought she was an incredibly cute bunny. And Vaporeon?

I've always loved Water-type Pokémon, and she's fucking adorable. On top of that, I love the color blue and I've always been fascinated by marine animals.

Thanks, Pokémon franchise. Apparently, choosing my favorite Pokémon has become a fucking reputation-management operation.

And I genuinely get pissed off about it. What was the actual need to make Mega Lopunny look like that?

Man, I genuinely hate this.

I just wanted to like three Pokémon that I think are beautiful, cute, and stylish without having to give a thirty-minute defense explaining that there is absolutely nothing sexual behind it.

Gardevoir for her elegance.

Lopunny for her cuteness.

Vaporeon for her design, her Water typing, and because I simply think marine animals are fucking awesome.

That's it. That's literally it.

I don't like these three Pokémon in that way. I've always preferred Goodra... But anyway, that's beside the point.

It's crazy that you can't even show that you like certain Pokémon anymore without seeing several people raising an eyebrow at you.