u/elowt

I don't remember
when living became so heavy.

I just know
I wake up every morning
with the heaviest pit in my stomach,
like it belongs there,
like my body has learned to carry despair
more naturally than peace.

I look at myself
and I feel unfamiliar.

Some nights I lie awake,
wondering what it would be like
to never exist at all,
to not carry a mind that turns against me
with each passing day.

I never understand
why I couldn't have been different,
why I was born with a mind
that's too heavy to maintain,
and a heart that feels worn out.

Everything around me feels artificial.
And somewhere along the way,
I stopped feeling human too.