u/futchtwink

All i be thinking about these days is having a futch wife. Because i met a beautiful futch trans woman that made me burn my yuri urges since she’s so attractive to me, I’m shaking seeing this woman. She’s not available for me but I have a clear vision of my type which is cool futch performative lesbian stereotype like: play the bass, thrist trap pics with legs parted, carabiner on the left #IfISpeak ... She has this lesbotron alt haircut I can’t even name, strong shoulders, V abdomen line, thick hips and thighs, heavy are the hips that wear the strap Jesus said, When she dresses masc I need that, tank top and jorts 😍. When she dresses fem i’m on my knees too, she pulls it in a handsome way. Also her boobs, when she wears clothes that show it i’m weak (this is not sexualizing they’re just pretty i love boobs). Her downturned nose!! I’m super gay for that. I want a girlfriend like this. I fantasize all day man

I think sometimes I feel my gay ass shut because futches like this are not the majority so I don’t meet many, and i dont go all crazy for femmes, i can like one, but when it’s a futch like i said i’m melting! Also my sexuality is “queer t4t” because i like to connect with other genderqueer trans people, so among trans people it’s harder to find this (? Like it’s much easier to find feminine transmascs, than masc transfems? And god i have so much hope anyway… I can’t fall for the masc shortage propaganda, i attract them!!! If they are 3 in my city then those 3 are looking for me!!

Ah thats another one, this type of women tend to have a type more inclined to femmes and im a genderless thing, but of course i will be many people’s ideal type, just gotta keep going with confidence god will send me them futches to my way thanks god let’s go yuri

Because I used to insist in saying I was a woman some years ago, its not been a very long time since i came out as an enby, and i still go by she so i feel like that’s the thing that made my family think im still a woman even when i say im not. So now i gotta tell them often nooo im not a woman!! and my mom thought it means i reject femininity, meanwhile im a whole genderless futch, she just told me mmm is it pkay to give you this object thats pink? Since u say u are not a woman now. Lmaoo girl aint you seeing my pink ass eyeshadow, phone case, pink crop top, purple long nails… be for real 😭😭😭 normative people have such a hard time understanding something as simple as being out of gender

But im glad now im vibing with they pronouns too, probably they will understand my enbiness when i use they to refer to myself more

I feel extremely suffocated by the normative world built on ignorance of a reductionist sex construct that opposes biology/nature through the binarism, leading to gender. It's impossible not to see it, even when just watching people existing out there. Unless you decide to ignore it and change the focus, watch it but not see it, which is what I do, otherwise I wouldn't be here, but sometimes certain situations still overwhelm you

For example, just now I was seeing a local news story about a 6yo trans girl being denied access to her bathroom in a sports club. All the comments are Worse. Mind you, my country is the most woke in my continent in terms of laws, yet we're surrounded by normative (waste of) people, like everywhere else, the lighter places are still disgusting. Of course it makes me really angry that people who fall outside the stupid fake construct of binary sex are persecuted and isolated from something so important like sports (change the word sports to any word, from life). That's why every time I see something related to sports, even just an ad, it makes me feel disgusted af and I try to avoid it. This is just one example, as I mentioned if you are fed up of the gender system crap you see it everywhere. I got mad but I’m training to become more centered to all these situations, not let them control my emotionality

What hurts me the most is when people I love are part of this shit. When I explode (have an impulsive outburst), it's because I was arguing with my close family about these issues, and behind that is a deep pain: why do the people I love have to be part of what hurts me the most? Can we talk about it? That horrible feeling of loving people who hold a mindset that is the cause of your pain. I've felt so angry for loving them

I lived my entire childhood and teens in a heavy socially isolated depression due to this. Now that I Just Started living, my goal isn't to ignore the pain because the reason is clear; it affects me and almost kword me because I was born to do things to change this. But what advice do you give to an activist soul who also wants to live in peace, but whose sense of life is permeated by so much anger and sorrow?

I know, constantly fully redirecting attention to what’s constructive. Surrounding by people who feel exactly the same so we are stronger, and just build instead of stopping in lament. I simply wanted to share that many times I want to scream, escape to idk where, disappear, and emotions run my body strongly as adrenaline (not only the ones mentioned, euphoria too!! Euphoria and hope, “let’s all live”), sometimes my body be shaking out of all those emotions, this is constructive for a good workout lol and for art for sure, gotta bring back emo screamo. But I have to regulate this, adrenaline has a positive side, I like it when it’s Euphoria, but the possibility of losing yourself is scary. When I’m impulsive I can become self destructive. Anyway always heading up and taking care of ourselves too

I’m intersex yet I’m strongly against being boxed in the concept of sexes which i hate, so it feels accurate to me i don’t have a specific sex my body fits into, anyone else who experiences it? It feels lowkey traumatic to be boxed in sex labels to me

Yet intersex is a sex label but only to describe that your body’s development didn’t fit to the binary concept of sex, but to me my sex as such is None

I want t4t yuri. As a protagonist. So I want to meet sapphic genderqueer people in real life. I’m frequenting one space of trans people and there’s no one like this, where are the futch, butch and sapphic tgirls at?

God i know this beautiful futch girl who is in a t4t lesbian marriage. I have a type inclined to futches and butches i melt for them (but fems are cute too). I guess i just have to go to more spaces until i meet some. If you are in a relationship where did you meet?

Uff I’m tired, it’s like, we are here together but at the same time we don’t stand for the same thing or we don’t share views. For many their perspective is: Let’s get trans rights! But i mainly go with Let’s End gender, go to the core and burn it!!! which is not all trans people’s vision so i need to frequent real life groups of people like me … Sometimes i feel lowkey alone because of this, i know im not!! But it’s like “am i the only anarchistic genderless futchtwink thing here 😔”

It’s a reality punch, because even if i knew plenty of trans people will be binary and will be normative, it’s like i want to feel in place somewhere, but I didn’t fully find it yet. I feel this when i hear them speak from a place that conforms to the norm. Also im so tired of people equating masculinity with testosterone, this is a common one, they will think femininity and masculinity come from hormones and so their minds justify and adapt to the gender concept as if it was okay… sick of all this crap i beg

Anyway i want to feel at home! And fall in love with someone who shares this too and hold hands

Uff I’m tired, it’s like, we are here together but at the same time we don’t stand for the same thing or we don’t share views. For many their perspective is: Let’s get trans rights! But i mainly go with Let’s End gender, go to the core and burn it!!! which is not all trans people’s vision so i need to frequent real life groups of people like me … Sometimes i feel lowkey alone because of this, i know im not!! But it’s like “am i the only anarchistic genderless futchtwink thing here 😔”

It’s a reality punch, because even if i knew plenty of trans people will be binary and will be normative, it’s like i want to feel in place somewhere, but I didn’t fully find it yet. I feel this when i hear them speak from a place that conforms to the norm. Also im so tired of people equating masculinity with testosterone, this is a common one, they will think femininity and masculinity come from hormones and so their minds justify and adapt to the gender concept as if it was okay… sick of all this crap i beg

Anyway i want to feel at home! And fall in love with someone who shares this too and hold hands

What videos / content creators lead you? How much time it took you to slay it / how was your process? Did you ever hurt yourself or how did you make sure not to? while not having someone telling you ‘hell no not like that’

I really yearn to see a personal coach specialized in metal, but where i live it’s pretty hard to find. So probably i will just go and see an average one. Any tips for what kind of non-screaming specialized vocal coaches will fit us or help us the most?

I’m venting vulnerability here bc I can’t think of a better place since my sexuality is t4t. Why do i have so much romantic desire? Why do i have to be so gay? I’m 0 experienced in romantic love but i always fantasize. I genuinely want to be loved by other people and actually connect with them, I can’t put myself in a victim position because I would manifest that, just can’t deny i’m tired

Either a boy, a butch, a futch, fem, any enby, i can love all kinds of genderqueer people. So i have different fantasies, from dating a cute twink to a cool futch, im gay in every way imaginable. I want a cute relationship that doesn’t make sense to gender and the binary, like we are in our own different fairytale world apart from crap, we talk a lot, hold hands and just cuddle, i wanna hold them in my arms , i wanna feel and provide body warmth and safety

I want to be loved for my soul’s transparency even if my body will be adored too i want someone interested in me deeply, i’m bored of life without this type of romanticism. So now I’m tired and bored but i know it will happen when you don’t even think about it. Right now i want to sleep with someone cozy and warm

EDIT: I’m out of negativity now, let’s focus on the positive and feel like we already have all that love in ourselves. Let’s meet people fluently without expectations or control, the feelings of need create resistance with our dreams, we are complete and we deserve all those beautiful relationships

I’m against sex concept just like gender so I don’t conform to neither, also I’m intersex but even if I wasn’t I would be unisex altersex or something like that not conforming to the fake binary sex concept. I really hate when people think about me having a sex… it feels suffocating, don’t analyze or think about my body under those standards, it can’t be defined that way. I have organs, I have hormones and genetical traits, and they don’t align with the “sex” definitions most of people think about, and they mean nothing and say nothing about me so don’t label my body under it

When someone asks me about my sex, about my genitals, or when doctors try to make me fit into a sex is so disgusting to me… do what you want however I never changed a sex cause i never had one, I’m just a human with a body that is part of the huge diversity we can have 🦋💐🕊️🌟🌈 ‘male/female’ is the starting root of our oppression. Of course if a trans person identifies with those there’s no problem for me, but I don’t see myself or other people under those lenses