u/gumigogo

I am weary of things like Manifesting and the obsession on outcome and forcing positivity all the time. I believe it can be bad for mental health (like many people experience, icl myself for a short time I tried it). I wanted to use Bangston method, and am just going through the audiobook. And his research at least to do with cancer healing is impressive. But I am after other healing and general life stuff. I also worry that forcing those cycling will cause me to feel ungrounded etc. doe to my health condition, so am careful before actually starting.

Can anyone give me their perspective on this "conundrum"?

I am new to this method and mostly know it from reading stuff on the internet (not the book yet). I want to try doing it, but struggle with "head energy" (dizziness, stress, derealisation when there is too much activity in my head) and the descriptions of speedy cycling sounds like could uproot and destabilise me. I basically worry about the "multitasking"(doing it while other things) and "fast" (cos my hyperexcitatory problems). I have no problem doing things fast - that's how my brain works, ultra fast, but becasue of it, I've been for months doing things slower, single-mindedly etc.
Do you have any suggestions? Do you get dizzy or have any unpleasant symptoms when you are cycling? Is it important to do it during other activities?

I don't use any specific hexagrams, but it's happened a few times that i-ching suggested a path of humbling, respect towards the "enemy" or in crisis when normally I would have used authenticity and truth to navigate it. It seems that i-ching and Tao, in general is all about authenticity and naturalness cos that aligns us with Tao. But when ie. someone betrayed you in the past, or there is someone who has power over you and is clearly playing you, I often get this advice to show respect, accept the invitation etc. This direction seems against my truth though. And gainst the authenticity i-ching frequently teaches. My truth would be a self-respect or self-loving way to show my sovereignty. Which in my experience often offends people and gets me in trouble.

But honestly, the few times I acted in accordance to that humility direction of i-ching, it turned out great.

Can you speak to this what seems a contradiction?
Maybe suggest other sources to read to get more understanding on it.

Hello. Recently I started using Brave and Firefox much more in desire to escape the "almighty" google. But I still use google until I have moved all my typical websites (logins/ bookmarks etc) to brave.
I've used some movie streaming websites by using HDMI cable connecting my laptop to a TV and it's like the only thing that's casting is a blue page with brave written on top of it. No matter what page I have opened or what browser I want to cast from, the same blue screen appears and I can't cast any movie on TV.

Can anyone help with this? I'm not very technical

non tech girl now in control on my phone privacy!.. well... as much as I can while still being surrounded by what it is. Little steps..
Thanks you guys for help recently 🌻 Best community ever!
Now next steps figuring out what to do next with it LOL.

Why is my fii0 music player not registering change of format (I recently uploaded new flac albums which it didn't play "not supported" so I deleted them, converted to mp3, then sent again to my player but the fii0 is still showing them as Flac even though the folders definitely contain mp3- it’s like the player doesn’t register the change I made at all.

And I think that for a day it did actually play one of those albums like it registered the new album as mp3… ..

I've had the device for like 8 years and haven't used it almost at all for the longest time until recently. But all the previously installed mp3 albums play ok. Can anyone help me?

My Samsung died a few weeks ago. I switched to a dumb phone and I enjoyed the freedom and the decentralisation of my phone. I am very happily becoming uncomfortable with switching, and re-lreaning new ways. It's meaningful for me. But maybe missed having online banking apps cos some features in Poland only work on them such as secure payments online.

Then I discovered the whole rabbit hole of degoogling and GOS.
So I di get myself a pixel 10a with the intention to install GOS and have a minimal amount of apps. Really dumb it down. Alternatively, to only use it scarcely and use my dumbphone and pixel mostly keep at home. I value privacy, independence, hate tracking, ads, and distractions.

But I worry that as a non tech person I might miss some things that will make the switch counterproductive. Ie. reading about banking apps on GOS I read a discussion with claims like "rooting can be a massive security risk" "you can brick" etc.- what worries me NOT because of what that means. But precissely because I have zero idea what that means and the jargon makes me worry is it will be hard to manage. Other things may have to do with maintanance and I heard things like with GO we can check if the source code is ok etc. I don't want to check that because I don't understand it all.

Techy people know that and use that and often that's their work or passion and so they can apply to in their private setup. But I have other area I must keep tabs on that don't allow me now to become tech person. It is also not in my nature. And frankly, I'm a wild artist who would prefer neither of this stuff, but the world is as it is.

Is installing Graphene OS good for a person like me? I would hate the idea of not going ahead with it and putting up the fight now that I started caring and learned all I learned about privacy, abuse, manipulation etc. of big tech corps.

Am literally about to install GOS, but hope to hear from you guys

I'm new to all stuff magical..formally. But I feel I've always been doing alchemy in many ways as an artist and healer, diviner, intuitive, and experimenter.

Lately someone reliable recommended me a book Archangels of Magick, which I like and started using. But mostly I feel huge connection with Nature. I think that nature is the biggest source of my spirituality. I feel instantly hypnotised by trees and water. And since I live in a city and suffer great eco anxiety and deep hunger for nature that's isn't accessible enough to fill that need atm, he also recommended making a nature altar. I found this and other threads with interest. I read in one post here that such altar helps ground to nature without leaving home....is that true? and would like to know what do you do and how you use altars, and what does it do for you (ie. helps you create some feelings etc.). Would love to know any experiences and "knacks" or some fun stories you have and maybe some guidance in my new quest.
thank you all!

I won't hide it. the whole subject makes me mega anxious. I Have recently started my journey de-googling or doing my best to avoid, but getting to this community opened a pandora box of questions.

For once, my Samsung galaxy died completely 2 weeks ago. So I started using my dumbphone (juts text and calls, no internet, no gps) until I figure out what next. I actually started enjoying how I feel without my awarness being drained in the background by a toxic relationship with a phone. I have not used social media for ages. Don't have many friends and for now am ok with just signal and sms (very clunky but freedom and the quiet in my brain feels so rewarding). So I was thinking to keep the dumbphone as my main. And just get something (smartphone) to have mostly off in case in Need 2FA or fast online banking, or an alternative if laptop dies, etc.). Or if I got a simple smartphone that wont steal my soul again that could be an option. But clearly I'm lsot.

But I got on here and people use all the fancy techy talk I have no clue about. GrapheneOS, coding, forks, etc. Sorry I'm not a coder, just a plain person with very limited.
Advice??? How do I start?
Even if not fully degoogled. but I no longer want to be harvested or slaving for corps.

Just wanted to say, I'm free from spotify and that feels good! Went dumbphone last week and back to owning music. I feel free again.

Today weird thing started. My laptop (apple pro M1) was generally lagging and I thought to clean out old files to a separate hard drive. And this is when many of my files in local folders stopped showing. Actually, wrong - it seems all was cleared out from local Documents and Desktop. Completely wiped. I didn't delete all that. Just a bunch of files from desktop.

But I see all of them - exist on iCloud. I am puzzled.

For the longest time I didn't have icloud storage on - just saved locally and I hate the crap that's been happening since I turned on icloud storage.
When I move from iCloud to documents, it become deleted from icloud. As if they can only be in one place.
Can anyone tell me wtf happened?

Ps. tried restarting mac and relaunching finder - nothing changed.
Pss.

I normally don't have any allergies like most people here. My triggers are mostly from stress, effort, thinking, heat, information, etc. Some medication allergies and intolerances yes.

A while ago I started taking som supplements to help me stabilice cells and I read that taking Vit C and Rutin is important so I included alongside quercitin/ luteloin (alternating one type each month), Vit D, L-Theaine, B- complex, and B12, and zmall dose Zinc. Today on some old post I read about Vit C actually provoking histamine release. And I'm so confused.

Anyway, since the heatwave a month ago I've developed persistent low grade fever start in me about a month ago. it has a pattren of being better in the morning (no fever) and then afternoon it sets off usually around 37.5. I also have burning eyes and occipital headaches and feel mega tired and flu-ish on occasion.

Do I don't know if Vit C (ascorbic acid) is not good. Did it create new fever symptms or whatever did... maybe that heatwave In my country we don't have many brands that are talked about here, but trying my best. I am afraid that heat in my body will cause something bad (I have health anxiety which I'm trying to calm down).

I live in a country where Luteoline is not popular and have low demand therefore there are very few kinds. I found these below. Any thoughts?:

1. Luteoline  50 mg that is made from peanut shells. And while I don't have food allergies that I know of seems that would be normally a triggering thing that spikes immune reaction for many.
2. Liposomal luteolin 250 mg (plant origin)- it costs 2x as much but says that it has Improved Bioavailability
3. Luteloin 100 mg, made from Sophora japonica
4. Swanson Luteolin 50mg + 50mg rutin (plant origin) ( i already take rutin so it doesnt add much)

Hence my question. And what dose is right one?

I had a couple very stressful weeks and started having fever- mostly evenings and sweating during nights.
I feel hot as well and increase headaches, anxiety, dizziness, derealisation, when it happens. Also, it's summer here.
I don't have any doctors in my country who know about MCAS and only learn from internet. The GP was literally more harmful than helpful. Currently been taking just natural supplements and vitamins.

So I lived for years alone in another country after leaving my mildly covert narc partner. But originally I left home country many many years ago, cos my n-father is here. Then the world went crazy, I became sick, trauma etc. and had to come back to home country/ city I was born .. and again deal with the fam.

But I noticed a pattern. I don't know if you also observe, it's like I'm always a black sheep in any community. I know it's partly being neurodivergent (all my online ND friends are ostracised by their community) or is it the fact that through healing my soul away from narcs, I became very uncompromising and have high standards which people hate. I am very intelligent and I don't play games, I don't pretend, I stay authentic. So in the years I lived alone abroad I had a few very unpleasnt things from people intimidating, attacking, blackmouthing me and that also traumatised me.

**Anyway, I want to strat planning now my life away from home town where I live in (**had to move to our old house I rent from my parents to keep cheap overhead and for the time of recovering from illness).

I don't know if that would be a small town or a village, but I crave being closer to nature. Simple life. Have some money saved but don't work (which I plan to online or something like that). But again, the worry starts, that I will have no friends, no support system, or even semi-OK family members I have here. And afraid that everyone will hate me, or will again experience abuse or attack... Do you also carry with you that fear? I hope I can make my life happy away from this hole.

I would hope to hear some stories from you that can help me believe that my vision will work.

I'm new in this community. I was away from home for like 15 years but went through "narcissist" online education a few years back to understand my relationship patterns and how to deal with N-father and family enablers. In my 40s to cut out all toxic people / friends / partner from my life and become more autonomous, more self healed person, who stands up for herself and asks for what she needs and wants. But 2 years ago had to come back to home due to health reasons. And parents did help a lot, mostly thanks to mum, with getting me groceries, to the doctor. I also can live cheeply (just bills) to stay at our old place as they moved to a new one. So much that I formed some more relationship with them again. Mostly with mum.

And lately, my dad's been getting old and retirement made him a real pain in the bum. I guess I dropped my guard and forgot the rules of the game.

He's preferred behaviour is countering everything, demean me and mum, and commenting everything you do (critically). He witholds information to make everyone scrambled and disorganised, and twists everything. Whatever I would talk about even with mum he would criticise or say it's stupid or made up etc. But since I stood up in my respect I guess I really forgot that there is no reasoning. That Narcs are not about truth but about control.

Now unfortunately I went with them to the country house, something I avoided so much for so long, and in the first hours I regretted coming (but I don't drive). I feel like I got too reactive (because of the illness and more lately because of period, and heatwave) and wasn't able to keep my cool and as he kept trying to counter and be the smart one, but I proved my right. Years of being out of toxic relationships and largely independent, had me act like I could have a reasonable discussion. He couldn't deal with that. Last starw was when I told him eventually to stop dictating me how to open the window shutters, and he got so offended now he's been giving me silent treatment, freezing me out, exculding from everything, ignoring, witholding information etc. Classic. When I lived with them as a student he once shut me out in silent treatment for 1.5 years. The reasons are never reasonable so not even worth bringing up.

I tried to act according to "new self-respecting me" and pretend dumb/ act as if he's behaviour is barely impressive after a full day him doing that, asking innocently "Are you actually angry at something?". He blew up that I'm horrible and rude, disrespectful, and all the wrong things and that he doesn't want to talk to me. I replied, ok "It would be more efficient and pleasant to all of us if we could communicate to find agreement". Naturally that didn't go well. I try to help mother in the garden, and do my thing and when I do speak, I act as if I ignore someowhat the silent treatment but actually speak to them, or to him basic things you would have to to arrange stuff "I'm setting the plates do you want to eat now?" etc. Not much, and very causally just enough to show, I don't care for sulkiness and am not impressed by it. I don't care to change him, or make him talk, or be warm and fuzzy. I accept what he is and that he will never change. Just trying to make the situation as bearable for me and mum for the next few days so that my stress doesn't give me more symptoms and so I can find as much peace as possible.

Also, weirdly years ago when I went through lots of healing after narc / toxic freindships, I realised that trying to understand them is a lost energy and I better should just focus on myself. I suppose I've done all I could to crate openness. But I won't pretend that it's unpleasant and yesterday I got extremely anxious and angry.. but naturally you never show emotion.

I have always been sorry for my mum even though she was an enabler, and frequently betrayed me to save herself, but she got stuck with him. I left. I guess everyone has a choice, but I feel sorry for her. Even sometimes for him. But I have to live my life and make it as good as possible for me.\

I suppose there is really nothing to do, just bear the next few days and go back home, and try to focus on healing and maybe figuring out how to live farther away. But I wanted to vent and ask you veterans.

Any ideas, suggestions? I'm a bit out of practice.

I'm a middle aged (45) single neurodiverse mega sensitive woman.

Most of my life I've lived in medium to large cities. No back in eastren Europe, my home city. I truly hate what's coming with the way of life and people. I feel like safe space is shrinking and while I'm still recovering from stress related illness, I am looking for ideas how to create life that's sustainable. Been trying to for years now. And for the few years I hoped it would mean finding a house with a wit of land/ garden in a viallge or close to nature. But I also realised in the last 2 years of illness that being single, not very strong physically (and still without figured out source of income) that dream might be not as right for me as I thought. In my last illness I am getting better from, I realised, that a single ND person like me would have a hard time far from a city for a number of reasons.

Everywhere is loud, flashy, exhausting, demanding tech skills, even to buy a bus ticket...People, are pushy, selfish, angry, cheating. I know not all, but that's more and more common.
I can't imagine going to get a job (luckly I am ok for a while), I am really unemployable and would not stand working for anyone. Likewise, co-living - as in sharing space is impossible for me. I am too much of a freedom freak. I just want a simple life.

I don't have any local friends, just online ones in other parts of the world who struggle as well. But I am determined to create some ways. I know that in various countries people come up with various ways of reinventing new ways of living. I just don;t know where to look for them for inspiration. Ideas?

I noticed under a few posts when someone asks about rituals not working or how to improve their practice etc. that replies say that the problem is with beliefs. Many replies I read sounded like straight from Law of manifestation, which I'm not crazy about. (for instance replied to money ritual I read would say that the OP most likely had negative beliefs on money or had hidden belief they can't get more etc.).

Isn't the point of magic to happen based on strong desire? I read in a book by Demon Brand that he says specifically that one doesn't have to believe. So what the thing with it?

I am not diagnosed with MCAS but strongly suspect. Some of my symptoms during the worst attacks and during flares were painful hunger and anxiety surge as the food was digesting. Extreme abdominal spasms, pain, sweating, shaking, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, confusion, body tension, ears ringing (it's not hypoglycemia) feeling like fighting for survival - almost always at night, but generally similar symptoms tend to increase as day goes by so towards afternoon/evening worse.

At worst I tried to remedy by eating meals very frequently becasue it calmed my belly and my nerves. Then when I got better I could eat just a normal 5 meals a day and no anxiety no belly aches etc. But a while ago I got some heartburn / LPR symptoms and started alkaline diet for short and it kind of improved but then the horrible belly spasms, anxeity, sweating came back again (I think this is the histamine dumps).

But lately as the belly thing came back, while I don't have those horrible attacks (which I think are adrenaline related too) It's still very uplessant and I don't have any answers.

Maybe acid is irrelevant but it's all something else..

I went to a GP to get some blood tests and some referral (been useless so far) and again she just told me to take PPIs and refereed to ultrasound but didn't even give any blood tests/ stool/ nothing. I don't want to take PPIs just becasue she's too lazy to think. Basically she insisted I'm psychiatric case. I'm so tired of this but have to figure out. I'm not taking any meds just lately started quercitine +vit C+rutin.