u/gumigogo

I'm a very non-linear neurodivergent person, writing a non-fiction book. I can't write in order. I write in segments that I feel intuitively where should land and how they will connect. But as I make write, I keep adding details, and I duplicate information because it fits in various parts, and I repeat myself and make things so much more "absolute" that it's overwhelming to navigate or edit.

English is not my first language. And I've never been a writer. I am an artist and write how I paint. Writing has become an important thing because there's no other way to express what I know other than in a book.

Not only I have trouble with writing well single sentences, but the whole book has become a monstrosity, I don't know how to continue. I'm on my eight rewrite (if you can call that because, I've never actually written the whole draft. But I feel the need to start over, to clean and clear the structure and content over and over, and keep making the same mistake—as explained above.

Can anyone advice? Especially I would appreciate from people, who work like me.

I'm a very non-linear neurodivergent person, writing a non-fiction book. I can't write in order. I write in segments that I feel intuitively where should land and how they will connect. But as I write, I keep adding details, and I duplicate information because it fits in various parts, and I repeat myself and make things so much more "absolute" that it's overwhelming to navigate or edit.

English is not my first language. And I've never been a writer. I am an artist and write how I paint. Writing has become an important thing because there's no other way to express what I know other than in a book.

Not only I have trouble with writing well single sentences, but the whole book has become a monstrosity, I don't know how to continue. I'm on my eight rewrite (if you can call that because, I've never actually written the whole draft. But I feel the need to start over, to clean and clear the structure and content over and over, and keep making the same mistake—as explained above.

Can anyone advice? Especially I would appreciate from people, who work like me.

I'm a very non-linear neurodivergent person, writing a non-fiction book. I can't write in order. I write in segments that I feel intuitively where should land and how they will connect. But as I write, I keep adding details, and I duplicate information because it fits in various parts, and I repeat myself and make things so much more "absolute" that it's overwhelming to navigate or edit.

English is not my first language. And I've never been a writer. I am an artist and write how I paint. Writing has become an important thing because there's no other way to express what I know other than in a book.

Not only I have trouble with writing well single sentences, but the whole book has become a monstrosity, I don't know how to continue. I'm on my eight rewrite (if you can call that because, I've never actually written the whole draft. But I feel the need to start over, to clean and clear the structure and content over and over, and keep making the same mistake—as explained above.

Can anyone advice? Especially I would appreciate from people, who work like me.

I don't gave a straight on MCAS (nor had any tests because in my country its not too easy). But definetely it is a component to my "disease" that is unknown. I also was exposed to toxi mould several month before developing very strong attacks, but also have Autism and ADHD and had long chronic stress. I don't have typical allergies that people with MCAS have, but have very strong histamine and adrenaline dumps tos tress and other phsycial and psychological symptoms similar to MCAS and dysautonomia. I figured that maybe cleaning gut can help? Anyone tried it? or know if it's recommended?

It's called "Hidden Wisdom of the Tao Te Ching: Ancient Teachings for Modern Life Mastery, Happiness & Flow — A Verse-by-Verse Guide to the Tao Te Ching for Emotional & Spiritual Well Being" by Taoist Master David James Lees.

I'm very curious because I used to follow David's channel. I heard two verses on his facebook and sounded like I really liked the simple approach. This book also has accompanying audio or something but I still haven't figured out what is the difference. I'm no expert in taoism, but I feel when something feels right and it did for me. I'm ordering it today.

I also mentioned it because there have been several questions here lately about the use of taoism for mental and spiritual wellbeing and anxiety etc. and I think this might be the connection. But like I said, I still haven't read the whole thing.

PS. Reading the replies below it goes to show that maybe reading the direct translations of TTC is was enough for the community members to understand concepts of non resistance and non judgment. So who knows maybe this book is more timely and needed than thought. Enjoy!

Having AuDHD and cptsd and anxiety and anxious attachment and defaluting to shutdown and complete isolation I isolated myself instantly. She's my only friend, kind of newish and online friend too. So my natural reaction was like "she doesn't care. no one does. why do i bother sharing anything only to get hurt. " etc. with naturally resentment, anger, pain of not being seen and all black and white thinking and ruminating going.

I instantly thought "the hell with it. I can celebrate myself, i am proud of myself. I don't need anyone". but while i did celebrate and was proud of myself, I hate going to that same old place where I instantly cross someone out of my life or at least hold a grudge, becasue pain is so unbearable and my self protection walls raise instantly when trust gets wobbly.

I would rationalise that she was busy and that she had her other big stuff going. But I have explained people my entire life in order to not ask for anything, not show needs, not be vulnerable. Time and time again my heart was broken and people betrayed my trust every single time. I am in my defensive, deep depressive place that's beyond reach now and am avoiding contact (not ghosting).

I wonder what is the way to go here? I read some place that it's where it would be wise to share my feelings without accusing that I didn;t feel seen or acknowlegded after sharing something very important. But that's so foreign for me. The only thing I know is to isolate and shutdown and ache.

Having aDHD and cptsd and anxiety and anxious attachment and defaluting to shutdown and complete isolation I isolated myself instantly. She's my only friend, kind of newish and online friend too. So my natural reaction was like "she doesn't care. no one does. why do i bother sharing anything only to get hurt. " etc. with naturally resentment, anger, pain of not being seen and all black and white thinking and ruminating going.
I instantly thought "the hell with it. I can celebrate myself, i am proud of myself. I don't need anyone". but while i did celebrate and was proud of myself, I hate going to that same old place where I instantly cross someone out of my life or at least hold a grudge, becasue pain is so unbearable and my self protection walls raise instantly when trust gets wobbly.
I would rationalise that she was busy and that she had her other big stuff going. But I have explained people my entire life in order to not ask for anything, not show needs, not be vulnerable. Time and time again my heart was broken and people betrayed my trust every single time. I am in my defensive, deep depressive place that's beyond reach now and am avoiding contact (not ghosting).
I wonder what is the way to go here? I read some place that it's where it would be wise to share my feelings without accusing that I didn;t feel seen or acknowlegded after sharing something very important. But that's so foreign for me. The only thing I know is to isolate and shutdown and ache.