u/heref0rwhat

I am bored and I wanna play something romance centric like wayhaven

I just felt we don't talk enough about that

Was missing my ex of three years yesterday, and came across the message that I have send to me during the course of the relationship, after fights with my partner.

The timing was correct, I needed to see again how miserable I was in the relationship.

We broke up last year, the person was really dear to me, as that person was my best friend of years before we fell in love.

Now I have lost the friend and the partner too,

Sometimes I really do miss her.

But ig we are better off some bonds, no matter how precious they are. And, that's just how life works.

We are still doing no contact, I still do not have courage to stalk her or talk to her again,

Maybe, don't wanna find out that I still have anything towards her or is scared that the progress I have might go to vain.

Maybe, someday I will be very much over this one relationship that I once had.

Idk when exactly, but i’ll get there as time really does it's magic eventually.

Getting there!!

Was missing my ex of three years yesterday, and came across the message that I have send to me during the course of the relationship, after fights with my partner.

The timing was correct, I needed to see again how miserable I was in the relationship.

We broke up last year, the person was really dear to me, as that person was my best friend of years before we fell in love.

Now I have lost the friend and the partner too,

Sometimes I really do miss her.

But ig we are better off some bonds, no matter how precious they are. And, that's just how life works.

We are still doing no contact, I still do not have courage to stalk her or talk to her again,

Maybe, don't wanna find out that I still have anything towards her or is scared that the progress I have might go to vain.

Maybe, someday I will be very much over this one relationship that I once had.

Idk when exactly, but i’ll get there as time really does it's magic eventually.

Getting there!!

Along with placement I want to have a good campus life, how are the peers? And is fest gonna happen there or was daksh a time thing?

Can I expect a fun college life there?

Help guys? Any senior of teachers please suggest

Techno 's shit campus is bugging me.

Also which college has better peep quality and placement?

So, I am getting a tier 3 private college this year, I didn't ever really prepare for jee properly.

I am confused if I should move on and focus on building skills and maybe later on try for GATE or something or should I take a partial drop and try out for colleges like JU next year?

I don't think taking a full drop is for me.

​

21 F

During my childhood had a fine relationship with him, but I as grew older, the relationship got fucked up.

He always had anger issues, which has fucked me up as an adult, my communication skills is shit, I always avoid conflict from other people, because it scares me.

Authority scares the shit out of me. I have anxiety, in social situations sometimes my hand shakes, my voice does, I feel unable to form proper reasoning.

It's like I haven't ever developed the skill to deal with nonsense people at all, because I fear people.

Confidence is shit in social situations. Can never tell someone to fuck off, because don't have that much courage.

So much of low confidence, that if I am talking to someone and that someone didn't understand something, I start thinking if I don't talk clearly or what.

I still haven't figured it out, if it was really him or just me being sensitive to the situation, because my sister have grown up in the same environment but he doesn't affect her as much as he affects me.

There are some incidents that I still remember so clearly, I was 10-11 don't remember much clearly, but his mother was calling and he said to not to pick the call you and I did the mistake to pick the call, and he was really really mad cursing me and all, then my mother defended me saying something, right in that instant, he threw that phone very harshly that it broke to the point it couldn't be repaired.

Another instance, it was when I was 13 I think, he send me to get bread but since it was 11 in the morning, the kind of bread he wanted was gone, so I bought a different type. Came home, he started cursing me over that because I bought a different bread.

I did tell him the one he wanted was out of stock and he again made it my fault that I got up late so he send me at 11, was cursing a lot that how from next day I will get up early and all. So, out of frustration, I told him if he wanted that particular bread, why don't he go out himself and get it. That was my mistake, he was really really angry after that, called me a bitch and all, I don't remember everything clearly ofc anymore.

Another instance, it was when I was 15-16. It was ramadan ( so I was fasting) had a tuition at 11 a.m. , so went there while fasting, reaching there, I got to know, it was an off day. The tutor has given has holiday and has send a message on WhatsApp regarding that, which I apparently didn't see because I didn't check the phone.

So, ofc it was a hot day, I was fasting and now I had to go back home, I took my time on way back.

To mention I left my home for the tuition at 11 and came back by 11'35 or maybe 11'40.

I came home with a tired body and just wanted to relax and didn't even thought that , that man is gonna make it an issue.

He went on asking why did I take 30-45 mins if I didn't had classes ( the place I come from, there dating isn't very much accepted by parents, so he made it seem that I am probably meeting some man and all, which I really wasn't, I was just a kid) and ofc like any other day he turned this into a huge scene, and ruined the peaceful environment, ofc he called me names as well, for no reason.

There are other incidence as well, but these are just the one I majorly remember.

I hate going out with him, or any family going outs, because every time we have ever went out together, he always used to get mad at something and ruin it for us.

Tho, the thing that makes me doubt that if it's just me overreacting and being oversensitive because not for once has he ever raised his hands, not after we have grown up and never at my mom ( even tho he used to fight with her a lot ) it has always been verbal shouting and cursing, max it goes is breaking things.

Tho, till this date, being around him makes me feel uncomfortable for the core, I don't know how to talk with him, even talking about the smallest things to him makes me feel anxious to the core.

I just wanna function as a normal adult rather than being sacred of every authority I come across, or being under confident my whole life.

I hate him and now that I am 21 I tell myself that, I should stop expecting any kind of fatherly thing from him and move on and live my life as per my wish, but everytime a conflict happens with him, he gets angry and I always end up having a breakdown, I don't even know why because I don't wanna cry over this man, I wanna give him no reaction like I wanna be unbothered , but somehow I still have crying sessions after he shouts at me or something.

All of this is making me feeling like a womanchild.

21 F

During my childhood had a fine relationship with him, but I as grew older, the relationship got fucked up.

He always had anger issues, which has fucked me up as an adult, my communication skills is shit, I always avoid conflict from other people, because it scares me.

Authority scares the shit out of me. I have anxiety, in social situations sometimes my hand shakes, my voice does, I feel unable to form proper reasoning.

It's like I haven't ever developed the skill to deal with nonsense people at all, because I fear people.

Confidence is shit in social situations. Can never tell someone to fuck off, because don't have that much courage.

So much of low confidence, that if I am talking to someone and that someone didn't understand something, I start thinking if I don't talk clearly or what.

I still haven't figured it out, if it was really him or just me being sensitive to the situation, because my sister have grown up in the same environment but he doesn't affect her as much as he affects me.

There are some incidents that I still remember so clearly, I was 10-11 don't remember much clearly, but his mother was calling and he said to not to pick the call you and I did the mistake to pick the call, and he was really really mad cursing me and all, then my mother defended me saying something, right in that instant, he threw that phone very harshly that it broke to the point it couldn't be repaired.

Another instance, it was when I was 13 I think, he send me to get bread but since it was 11 in the morning, the kind of bread he wanted was gone, so I bought a different type. Came home, he started cursing me over that because I bought a different bread.

I did tell him the one he wanted was out of stock and he again made it my fault that I got up late so he send me at 11, was cursing a lot that how from next day I will get up early and all. So, out of frustration, I told him if he wanted that particular bread, why don't he go out himself and get it. That was my mistake, he was really really angry after that, called me a bitch and all, I don't remember everything clearly ofc anymore.

Another instance, it was when I was 15-16. It was ramadan ( so I was fasting) had a tuition at 11 a.m. , so went there while fasting, reaching there, I got to know, it was an off day. The tutor has given has holiday and has send a message on WhatsApp regarding that, which I apparently didn't see because I didn't check the phone.

So, ofc it was a hot day, I was fasting and now I had to go back home, I took my time on way back.

To mention I left my home for the tuition at 11 and came back by 11'35 or maybe 11'40.

I came home with a tired body and just wanted to relax and didn't even thought that , that man is gonna make it an issue.

He went on asking why did I take 30-45 mins if I didn't had classes ( the place I come from, there dating isn't very much accepted by parents, so he made it seem that I am probably meeting some man and all, which I really wasn't, I was just a kid) and ofc like any other day he turned this into a huge scene, and ruined the peaceful environment, ofc he called me names as well, for no reason.

There are other incidence as well, but these are just the one I majorly remember.

I hate going out with him, or any family going outs, because every time we have ever went out together, he always used to get mad at something and ruin it for us.

Tho, the thing that makes me doubt that if it's just me overreacting and being oversensitive because not for once has he ever raised his hands, not after we have grown up and never at my mom ( even tho he used to fight with her a lot ) it has always been verbal shouting and cursing, max it goes is breaking things.

Tho, till this date, being around him makes me feel uncomfortable for the core, I don't know how to talk with him, even talking about the smallest things to him makes me feel anxious to the core.

I just wanna function as a normal adult rather than being sacred of every authority I come across, or being under confident my whole life.

I hate him and now that I am 21 I tell myself that, I should stop expecting any kind of fatherly thing from him and move on and live my life as per my wish, but everytime a conflict happens with him, he gets angry and I always end up having a breakdown, I don't even know why because I don't wanna cry over this man, I wanna give him no reaction like I wanna be unbothered , but somehow I still have crying sessions after he shouts at me or something.

All of this is making me feeling like a womanchild.

​

21 F

During my childhood had a fine relationship with him, but I as grew older, the relationship got fucked up.

He always had anger issues, which has fucked me up as an adult, my communication skills is shit, I always avoid conflict from other people, because it scares me.

Authority scares the shit out of me. I have anxiety, in social situations sometimes my hand shakes, my voice does, I feel unable to form proper reasoning.

It's like I haven't ever developed the skill to deal with nonsense people at all, because I fear people.

Confidence is shit in social situations. Can never tell someone to fuck off, because don't have that much courage.

So much of low confidence, that if I am talking to someone and that someone didn't understand something, I start thinking if I don't talk clearly or what.

I still haven't figured it out, if it was really him or just me being sensitive to the situation, because my sister have grown up in the same environment but he doesn't affect her as much as he affects me.

There are some incidents that I still remember so clearly, I was 10-11 don't remember much clearly, but his mother was calling and he said to not to pick the call you and I did the mistake to pick the call, and he was really really mad cursing me and all, then my mother defended me saying something, right in that instant, he threw that phone very harshly that it broke to the point it couldn't be repaired.

Another instance, it was when I was 13 I think, he send me to get bread but since it was 11 in the morning, the kind of bread he wanted was gone, so I bought a different type. Came home, he started cursing me over that because I bought a different bread.

I did tell him the one he wanted was out of stock and he again made it my fault that I got up late so he send me at 11, was cursing a lot that how from next day I will get up early and all. So, out of frustration, I told him if he wanted that particular bread, why don't he go out himself and get it. That was my mistake, he was really really angry after that, called me a bitch and all, I don't remember everything clearly ofc anymore.

Another instance, it was when I was 15-16. It was ramadan ( so I was fasting) had a tuition at 11 a.m. , so went there while fasting, reaching there, I got to know, it was an off day. The tutor has given has holiday and has send a message on WhatsApp regarding that, which I apparently didn't see because I didn't check the phone.

So, ofc it was a hot day, I was fasting and now I had to go back home, I took my time on way back.

To mention I left my home for the tuition at 11 and came back by 11'35 or maybe 11'40.

I came home with a tired body and just wanted to relax and didn't even thought that , that man is gonna make it an issue.

He went on asking why did I take 30-45 mins if I didn't had classes ( the place I come from, there dating isn't very much accepted by parents, so he made it seem that I am probably meeting some man and all, which I really wasn't, I was just a kid) and ofc like any other day he turned this into a huge scene, and ruined the peaceful environment, ofc he called me names as well, for no reason.

There are other incidence as well, but these are just the one I majorly remember.

I hate going out with him, or any family going outs, because every time we have ever went out together, he always used to get mad at something and ruin it for us.

Tho, the thing that makes me doubt that if it's just me overreacting and being oversensitive because not for once has he ever raised his hands, not after we have grown up and never at my mom ( even tho he used to fight with her a lot ) it has always been verbal shouting and cursing, max it goes is breaking things.

Tho, till this date, being around him makes me feel uncomfortable for the core, I don't know how to talk with him, even talking about the smallest things to him makes me feel anxious to the core.

I just wanna function as a normal adult rather than being sacred of every authority I come across, or being under confident my whole life.

I hate him and now that I am 21 I tell myself that, I should stop expecting any kind of fatherly thing from him and move on and live my life as per my wish, but everytime a conflict happens with him, he gets angry and I always end up having a breakdown, I don't even know why because I don't wanna cry over this man, I wanna give him no reaction like I wanna be unbothered , but somehow I still have crying sessions after he shouts at me or something.

All of this is making me feeling like a womanchild.