u/hyperRevue

I know this isnt a big thing compared to some posts but should I be as bothered by husband's lack of seatbelt wearing? I make him put it on when I drive, be he refuses and says Im nagging him when he drives. He's even said, "I'm driving, my rules." It just bothers me. He's my person n I don't want to lose him over something so easily prevented. We live in florida and people drive like they have 9 lives.

Me (43M). Wife (41F). Married 19 years. Together nearly 25. 2 kids (9, 21).

It’s a long story so I won’t go into all the details, but wife had been having an emotional affair that became physical the last 3 months. I own my role in her loneliness and unhappiness - that’s a ton there.

I’d been aware of the emotional affair almost since the beginning. It started out as friends but I’d regularly catch her in lies and she’d promise she’d stop but a few days later she’d start hanging out with him again. He told her he had feelings for her and she cut it off for like a day or two but then right back.

I found out Tuesday night that she’d slept with him - twice on Saturday and again on Monday. Obviously devastated. I said a lot of awful things. Kicked her out. Next day she came home to get some stuff so she could stay in her air bnb. We talked. I had calmed down. Still destroyed but the visceral anger had subsided. She stayed at the Airbnb for a few days but came back home last night. Things are weirdly okay.

We are getting divorced. She had been talking about it the last couple months and I had been trying to convince her to work on it but now I’m not longer doing that.

Anyway! The point of my post is she’s still talking with and seeing the guy. I asked her last night if she intends to sleep with him again and she said she didn’t know. That’s obviously destroying me. She says she’s not leaving me for him or anything like that. I feel like if she was truly remorseful, she’d stop seeing him. Since we are getting divorced, I don’t know if I’m even able to ask her to stop seeing him.

We’re still deeply in love with each other but agree a split is needed. Whether it’s temporary or forever. We are truly best friends, been with each other our entire adult lives and fully committed to having a healthy co-parenting relationship but I told her that if she keeps seeing him it’s going to make that extremely hard for me.

I’m really just rambling now. But what do you all think? What place do I have to dictate whether she sees or talks to this guy or not?

Also, I cannot stop thinking of them sleeping together - him kissing and touching her and how they did it and how she liked to and that’s eating me alive. Any advice to stop those intrusive thoughts would be appreciated.

(Yes, I’m going to therapy.)

Thank you. I can’t believe this is my life now.

I know it’s not a major job, but as a relative mechanical noob learning as stuff arises, it felt good.

One of the bushings was totally destroyed and my Jeep had been making an awful metal on metal clanking noise for months before I finally figured it out.

Searched all over this sub for shock recommendations (Ranchos ftw). First ordered the wrong length. Then nearly tore my rotator cuff trying to loosen one of the old nuts. Right shocks came today and they still fought me every step of the way. The videos I saw online showed two bolts for the top mount. But on mine, one hole was threaded and the other was just a hole. So trying to reattach the bolt while holding the nut in place from behind with barely any access was a major pain in the ass. But after a couple hours I got both of them locked in solid and she rides quiet as can be now.

It feels good to figure shit out on your own.

That’s all.

Just me? Cool.

2001 TJ. Left the headlights on overnight and the battery is dead. Hooked it up to jump. Struggled for a second or two but then fired up. While sitting in the cab, there was this really scary sounding rattle so I shut the engine off. Turns out it was just the fan hitting the jumper cable (I think). Tried to jump it again and now nothing. Sitting with the donor car running for 10+ minutes and not a peep from the Jeep.

Any ideas? Thanks!

On the Star Wars draft, Mal tried to draft R2D2 and C-3PO in the “Skywalker family” category and was resoundingly denied. She affirmed that the Big Picture fandom would agree with her that Anakin built C3PO and they both were his brothers (or kids?). An insane take, I’d say. What do others think?