u/madiepaisley

So I bought some Boba tea kits from Kroger. In the box are three packets of powdered tea, and three packets of Boba pearls.
I come home from picking my kid up from school and I was getting something over by my mom‘s bed and I noticed a purple packet open on the ground next to her bed. So I reached out and I pick up this packet and it is the powdered tea mix. She was eating the powdered tea mix.
I told her I said you know you mix this with liquid to dissolve it and then you add the Boba pearls and then you add milk right? And she said “well I just won’t touch it anymore” (like she was mad that I was confused at her eating powder). I asked her if she would like me to make her a cup of actual Boba tea using this powdered tea mix, but she wanted nothing to do with it. She was mad because I had caught her eating powdered tea mix.

so, either this is the game itself, or i have the wrong gunmod camera mod thing - anything that goes on the wall that isn't a pic (so think like, plants that hang on walls, upper cabinets, things liek that), they fade/disappear as i get close to them. and i want that to stop.

is it the game or the mod? help?

Someone posted about being angry all the time and I’m right there with them.
I wish I could just take her to a hospital and drop her off and say you handle her bc I’m not able to. You figure out where to place her bc it’s not gonna be with me.
The more I see about what’s coming in the next several years with this dementia thing, the more I realize I am in NO WAY ready for it and I don’t want to put the husband or my children thru it.
Why can’t I just drop her off and let someone else deal with it?! I told her years ago that I didn’t want this and yet….. there she is, in my living room.

Mom is 75, slowly but steadily declining. The past 3 nights she’s wet the bed and even trailed urine thru the house on the way to the bathroom. It’s to the point that I now question whether this puddle of pee is from one of her dogs, or from her.
She has GOT to start wearing depends. Got to.
I bought them for her a while back and she refused to even try them on, so I got poise pads. She refused those as well.
I cannot keep changing her sheets at all hours of the night and day (she can still do it herself sometimes, but the risk of her falling while trying is too great to really let her try).
So how did you get them to admit it was time for depends? Any advice would be appreciated.

so i made an apartment complex. 4 units. all furnished. i have the stayshrub thing as well. i moved someone onto the lot, but only 1 unit was furnished, and no amount of shift clicking allowed me to view it and/or rent any of them with the furnishings i used.

ideas?

(i have ultimate collection if you need to know) ok, so i've seen reddit post after reddit post about CAS being too zoomed in on widescreen monitors (i have 3440x1440), and i got the widescreen cas fix (yes i placed that in cameras) from mts, and i got the CAS300Extra package (in my downloads folder) as well and i've tried putting the game in windowed mode - and it's still super zoomed in. it's a >little< better in windowed, but i still can't see the tops of their heads. is there ANYTHING else i can do to maybe make this work? i played on this monitor/computer set up in 2021 and i had all the things, but i deleted everything and am starting from scratch, so all my cameras and lighting, everything is just back to the original game settings, and i can't for the life of me remember what all i gotta do to get this game to work on this computer.

I need advice for my senior cat. I have two, but I only have this issue with one of my cats. I have used multiple different types of litter, and so far the best that I have found, is just regular old arm and hammer clump and slide. I clean out the litter box multiple times a day. I have two boxes, two cats, I cleaned both boxes multiple times per day. My boxes are stainless steel with high sides.

OK onto the problem, for some reason, my cat, Dora, is constantly getting cat litter clumped in her back paws. I am continually cleaning clumps of litter out of her back paws. It was especially bad when I was using this fancy cat litter because it basically turned to wet clay and that was a nightmare to get out, but since using the Armen Hammer, it actually creates clumps, which are much easier to get out, but regardless, it’s constant.

I keep her claws trimmed on all four paws, her fur is not super long, she’s just a barn cat that we adopted when she was a kitten, so she doesn’t have long hair. she’s no special breed or anything.

But I’m just at a loss. It started about a year and a half ago, and there’s litter everywhere. Everywhere. And it’s just a little bits from her feet. When she walks across the ground, I can hear it tapping, and it’s litter, not her nails that are making the tapping noise so I know I have to go clean her feet. Is this common with older cats? Or am I doing something wrong?

Oh, and she’s not super overweight, but she does have a hard time jumping higher than like two or 3 feet. So she can’t jump on the counters anymore, she can jump on the couch and on the bed, but she can’t jump really high, and the litter box is well within her jumping range (to get out, although we do have a little step right in front of it to try and make it easier so she doesn’t actually have to jump in or out).

my whole life is just.... stopped b/c of my mother.

My stepson wants us to come visit him in PA b/c he bought his first house.
I don’t see us being able to afford it, but even if we could -
I can’t go.
Why?
My mom can't be trusted alone.

One of our favorite bands are coming to town in October. We have 4 tickets.
I can’t go.
Why?
My mom can't be trusted alone.
So my daughters boyfriend is using my ticket.

Can’t even go out as a family to a simple dinner.
Why?
My mom can't be trusted alone.

Can’t sit in the living room and watch a movie or show as a family anymore.
Why?
My mom.
The kids don’t want to be in there bc she’s in there. They hide themselves away in their room.

There is no more family ANYTHING for us - bc of her.

I’m so sick of being so angry, and it’s only been since February. I’m still in the very beginning of this process. I've been her caregiver from afar since 2021, but this..... her being here, in my living room (we have a 2 bedroom house and the living room is the only space we could fit her), is just a whole new level of caregiving that I never wanted, and that she never wanted, and knowing that it's all b/c of decisions she made, with no care or thought to how it would affect the future, just adds to the anger I feel.

she's the one that spent every cent of her inheritance fixing up her house, she's the one that reverse mortgaged that house and spent every cent of that money on bullcrap - and by the time she NEEDED the funds, they were gone. and so the rats took over her house, ate her ductwork in her attic, ate thru the lines to her heat and air, ate thru and urinated on and in her furniture, her clothes, her doors, her walls, and by the time winter rolled around, her pipes burst and she had nowhere to go but here. i blame her for where we are in life now.

she could've not reverse mortgaged her house and we could've sold it and gotten something bigger for all of us. or she could've at THIS point done a reverse mortgage and used the money for repairs so she could've stayed in her own home, but nope. she had to leave for safety and health and give up that house back to the mortgage company. she's now existing on a freaking twin mattress in my living room.

this woman that "loved me" when i was little, but then chose man after man after man over me, that has repeatedly made me feel it's somehow MY fault that she was alone (i didn't end her marriages, she did that), put decades of guilt on me and has always been a weight around my shoulders - she's here now. weighing down not just me but my husband and my children.

this is a nightmare. and seeing as she's only in the early stages of dementia, i am so afraid i have at least a decade, if not longer, of this.

ok, so my mom is obsessed with talking on what's app to scammers. it's making me crazy. she's given them her bank info multiple times, she's sent them dirty pics (very very very out of character for who she used to be), she falls for every scam they come at her with. luckily i've been in control of her money (of which she has none), otherwise she would've been sending them every penny she got to try and help them "come here to marry her" - anyways, i was looking to see if there's maybe an ai chatbot that she could talk to, that maybe she would think is real, that wouldn't scam her or try and take her money - and i came across something called senior talk - and it says they can chat to them thru whatsapp. i'm thinking of signing up for it (it's $15/month) and seeing if i can trick her into thinking it's a real person.

has anyone used this app to allow their elders to talk to "someone" without them being taken advantage of? what's your experience been?

ok, so my mom is obsessed with talking on what's app to scammers. it's making me crazy. she's given them her bank info multiple times, she's sent them dirty pics (very very very out of character for who she used to be), she falls for every scam they come at her with. luckily i've been in control of her money (of which she has none), otherwise she would've been sending them every penny she got to try and help them "come here to marry her" - anyways, i was looking to see if there's maybe an ai chatbot that she could talk to, that maybe she would think is real, that wouldn't scam her or try and take her money - and i came across something called senior talk - and it says they can chat to them thru whatsapp. i'm thinking of signing up for it (it's $15/month) and seeing if i can trick her into thinking it's a real person.

has anyone used this app to allow their elders to talk to "someone" without them being taken advantage of? what's your experience been?

Saw someone on here, or one of my other caregiver groups, mentioning an issue with their parent not showering. My mother sometimes wants to shower but she’s afraid to. I got a special mat to keep the floor from being slippery, but we live in a really old house and the tub is too narrow for a shower seat and there isn’t anything behind the tiles to hold a grab bar - and the tiles are fake marble so they have little holes in them and suction won’t work. What else can I do to help her feel safer? When she does shower we put her walker right next to the shower and use her bath mat, which helps but once she’s IN the shower….. she’s afraid. Ideas?

My mother has been living with me since February. Prior to that I was her caregiver from a distance. She lived in Arkansas, I live in Tennessee. She gave her bank account and routing number to several different scammers over the years and we constantly had to go close her bank account, open a new one, change her information with Social Security so that her check would still go through to the correct account and so on.
When she moved in with me, I guess she still had an old check or an old deposit slip in her purse, maybe, and I did not know it. Yesterday she gave another scammer her bank account and routing number.
I called her bank today and told them what happened. They put a flag on her account (good thing she’s only got $2.23 until her Social Security check goes in).
I’m gonna have to get brakes on my car and new struts so that it can handle the drive over to Arkansas to get it all swapped out with her bank. And she’s gonna have to come with me, which is a problem in and of itself because somedays she knows what’s going on and other days she doesn’t.
So, can I just put her Social Security check into my bank account instead of opening a new account for her? Or would that screw something up for her or maybe me? Would I have to pay income tax on it? Is there an online bank, so like maybe I could just open a new account for her (in her name) online here at home and just have her check put into that bank instead of having to drive to Arkansas?
What other options are there? Because this means I’ve got between now and probably the Monday before the fourth Wednesday of this month to buy new struts for my van, have them installed, and have the brakes done, so that we can safely get to Arkansas to close her account and open a new one. And if I can just do it online or just move it to my bank instead, it would be a lot easier.

And yes, no matter what I do, she will never know her bank account number again.

Is there a limit on how many chickens someone can have in their yard in the city?

Has anyone dealt with this? My mom has a new kind of sleep cycle. She sleeps for 36 hours, she’s awake for 40 hours, she dozed off and on for 3 hours and she’s up for 26 hours. This has been going on for about a week now. No new meds (but we did increase her insulin per dr orders). She is not nearing EOL, so it’s not like that last hurrah thing (or whatever it’s called I’m sorry I don’t know what that’s called). She already takes benedryl daily for her allergies and has for some time now.

She has dementia but it’s early and this isn’t the normal sundowning cycle that I’ve heard about, this is much much longer hours of both sleep and wake.

She’s not acting manic. She acts normal. Kinda of p*ssy towards me, like she’s in a bad mood, but nothing really out of the ordinary.

I called her dr and told them, they just called in risperdol for her, but she’s already on risperdol (same dose they called in).

I mean, heck, at this point I’m just bracing for a psychotic break from lack of sleep of something. She’s got no fever, her bp is fine, her blood sugar gets low when she sleeps so long but it’s remedied with sugar/sweets/food when she wakes up (kinda thinking maybe we should go back down on insulin at least while she’s doing this weird thing so it doesn’t get so low).

Just curious is anyone’s person has done similar and if there was ever any kind of answer. Thanks!

Are there any free self defense classes for women in town? I can’t afford the ones I’ve found.

Our internet is CONSTANTLY going out. Each time for a minute or so, but it’s infuriating bc my husband works from home. Each time it interrupts a zoom call or a process he’s running.
So we got an internet monitor thing - in the last 5 days it’s gone out over 70 times.
And I can’t get anyone at Comcast to hear me and/or do anything, or to even fully understand how this affects us.
I haaaaate them, and our neighborhood (summer and Graham) has no other options for internet.