Hospital MIL update: should we get ahead of the game?
[I posted not too long ago about my NC MIL, who was in the hospital for something relatively unserious.](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/s/ZCqogbPHPB) She's back home and yaddah yaddah. Thanfully, my SIL didn't start any beef like I expected her to.
My husband and I were at couple's therapy yesterday (we do it proactively; we're a very strong couple), and I was saying how I was stuck in this state of waiting for the other shoe to drop with his family. It's always such an ordeal for me emotionally because of all that we both should have said, but didn't. God, I want to lay into them about the disrespect that they showed towards us both. Surprisingly, our therapist didn't take the stance of "be the bigger person and don't engage." That's an option, but if part of my healing would involve saying all of these things I kept to myself, the it's something to carefully consider. I said that I'd wait until they initiated.
But lo and behold, last night his mother sent him a friend request on FB. Quite a while ago we saw that she unfriended him, and it was such a pathetic move on her part because she couldn't even pretend that she was interested in keeping up with his life. I imagine it's going to be an "I was on my [perceived] death bed and was forced to reflect because my son didn't want to see me" kind of thing. Not reflecting on anything meaningful, I'm sure. Just another "woe is me I'm the victim" case.
I wanted to have some kind of plan about how to handle this next wave of BS, but my husband is in the "we'll cross that bridge we we get to it" camp. He seems intent on just not addressing very much about it, which is fair, but I feel stuck on how to deal with this. I don't want to force him to do anything, but I'm going to be consumed by this regardless of if it's the mature thing to do or not. I don't really think in terms of "the mature thing to do," but in a "how do we get justice?" kind of way. They've caused so much stress to us that them getting in touch just sends me down a spiral of making up scenarios in my head and pettily muttering to myself. I can't help that with my very neurodivergent brain. As time goes on, I start ruminating more and more out of anxiety.
I know the real answer is "don't say angthing," but what's the more flawed-but-realistic way to approach this? I obviously know that absolutely nothing I say will resonate with them. I'm not going about this with the false idea that I can change their minds. I simply want to lay out the facts, or I want him to do so.
Uh, so maybe I want him to defend me after years of keeping quiet. It was the only thing he could do back then, so I don't hold that against him. But my role in this whole kerfuffle has been a bit of an unspoken elephant in the room.
I'm mostly ranting and typing/muttering here. I have such grand ideas of how things should go in my head. I knew this was coming.