u/mrssuga_7

Yes, you read that right.

I was 17/18 when I found out my mom was having an affair with an uncle who's close to my family. The uncle is married too who literally has a grandchild now. He's from my mom's hometown and he's a temple priest. I was having my government exam when I found their chat on her phone and it's literally the worst time to go through something like this. I was using it for my studies, then a chat came. Which obviously as a curious kid at the age, I opened and found things a child should never see. I was crying for days and weeks. Contemplating if I should confront or shut up about it. Not being able to act fine in front of her anymore. Feeling bad for my father. Thinking if I should at least let him know cause he deserves the truth. At the end, I didn't do anything. \[If yall wanna know in more detail, can scroll down my past posts. I might have said more there since it's been years I found out about mom's.\]

Then, years passed. I'm 21 now. My mom's affair is still going on. Few months ago came my dad's birthday. Dad's phone was on charge and a text notification came. There I saw. A woman wishing my dad "Happy birthday, we met at club 9 years ago and it's not been easy, but the best for sure". My reaction? I froze. I've seen this woman's name on his phone earlier this year and he was calling her 'Darling'. I thought I misread but no, there it was clear as daylight. I snapped a picture of the notification for whatever evidence.

I'm the first child and I have a younger sister. At the beginning no one knew about this affair except for me, I was sure. But now I think my sister might just know it. Maybe not as much as I do. Some may say it's their life and up to them, why should I bother. Yes of course, until you're the child witnessing not one but both your parents having an affair. I hear them talking to these people everyday. Walking away privately when they receive call from the person (i know since they have a specified ringtone for each). I'm so numb.

I have a boyfriend and he's the first person I shared everything to. Today my mom was supporting her favourite actor's affairs. There's pics and videos but she was calling them AI when she can't even differentiate an obvious AI dog video on Facebook. So I fought to her about it. Then when I was telling him what happened today with full anger like how can a person support such act just cause they're your favourite actor, his reply was "Don't be too mad over such things, let it be. You get mad too often over such small matters" repeatedly. I was reading the text with tears in my eyes. Yes, I'm known as the angry child since I was like 5. Plus I'm a girl, so it's always "as a girl it's not good to get this angry". So to hear this same thing from my boyfriend who knows exactly what I grew up witnessing and why I am how I am was simply so heartbreaking. I told him this will be the last I ever talk to him about it while he just kept apologising.

I just don't know. It's them who's having an affair but it's me who's so mentally affected and exhausted. Even if I try to share it finally, I'm told I'm being too much. What am I even supposed to do or how do I even take care of myself mentally?

TL;DR : Both my parents are in an extra marital affair and I'm mentally affected seeing it happening in my home everyday.

Yes, you read that right.

I was 17/18 when I found out my mom was having an affair with an uncle who's close to my family. The uncle is married too who literally has a grandchild now. He's from my mom's hometown and he's a temple priest. I was having my government exam when I found their chat on her phone and it's literally the worst time to go through something like this. I was using it for my studies, then a chat came. Which obviously as a curious kid at the age, I opened and found things a child should never see. I was crying for days and weeks. Contemplating if I should confront or shut up about it. Not being able to act fine in front of her anymore. Feeling bad for my father. Thinking if I should at least let him know cause he deserves the truth. At the end, I didn't do anything. [If yall wanna know in more detail, can scroll down my past posts. I might have said more there since it's been years I found out about mom's.]

Then, years passed. I'm 21 now. My mom's affair is still going on. Few months ago came my dad's birthday. Dad's phone was on charge and a text notification came. There I saw. A woman wishing my dad "Happy birthday, we met at club 9 years ago and it's not been easy, but the best for sure". My reaction? I froze. I've seen this woman's name on his phone earlier this year and he was calling her 'Darling'. I thought I misread but no, there it was clear as daylight. I snapped a picture of the notification for whatever evidence.

I'm the first child and I have a younger sister. At the beginning no one knew about this affair except for me, I was sure. But now I think my sister might just know it. Maybe not as much as I do. Some may say it's their life and up to them, why should I bother. Yes of course, until you're the child witnessing not one but both your parents having an affair. I hear them talking to these people everyday. Walking away privately when they receive call from the person (i know since they have a specified ringtone for each). I'm so numb.

I have a boyfriend and he's the first person I shared everything to. Today my mom was supporting her favourite actor's affairs. There's pics and videos but she was calling them AI when she can't even differentiate an obvious AI dog video on Facebook. So I fought to her about it. Then when I was telling him what happened today with full anger like how can a person support such act just cause they're your favourite actor, his reply was "Don't be too mad over such things, let it be. You get mad too often over such small matters" repeatedly. I was reading the text with tears in my eyes. Yes, I'm known as the angry child since I was like 5. Plus I'm a girl, so it's always "as a girl it's not good to get this angry". So to hear this same thing from my boyfriend who knows exactly what I grew up witnessing and why I am how I am was simply so heartbreaking. I told him this will be the last I ever talk to him about it while he just kept apologising.

I just don't know. It's them who's having an affair but it's me who's so mentally affected and exhausted. Even if I try to share it finally, I'm told I'm being too much. What am I even supposed to do or how do I even take care of myself mentally?

TL;DR : Both my parents are in an extra marital affair and I'm mentally affected seeing it happening in my home everyday.

Yes, you read that right.

I was 17/18 when I found out my mom was having an affair with an uncle who's close to my family. The uncle is married too who literally has a grandchild now. He's from my mom's hometown and he's a temple priest. I was having my government exam when I found their chat on her phone and it's literally the worst time to go through something like this. I was using it for my studies, then a chat came. Which obviously as a curious kid at the age, I opened and found things a child should never see. I was crying for days and weeks. Contemplating if I should confront or shut up about it. Not being able to act fine in front of her anymore. Feeling bad for my father. Thinking if I should at least let him know cause he deserves the truth. At the end, I didn't do anything. [If yall wanna know in more detail, can scroll down my past posts. I might have said more there since it's been years I found out about mom's.]

Then, years passed. I'm 21 now. My mom's affair is still going on. Few months ago came my dad's birthday. Dad's phone was on charge and a text notification came. There I saw. A woman wishing my dad "Happy birthday, we met at club 9 years ago and it's not been easy, but the best for sure". My reaction? I froze. I've seen this woman's name on his phone earlier this year and he was calling her 'Darling'. I thought I misread but no, there it was clear as daylight. I snapped a picture of the notification for whatever evidence.

I'm the first child and I have a younger sister. At the beginning no one knew about this affair except for me, I was sure. But now I think my sister might just know it. Maybe not as much as I do. Some may say it's their life and up to them, why should I bother. Yes of course, until you're the child witnessing not one but both your parents having an affair. I hear them talking to these people everyday. Walking away privately when they receive call from the person (i know since they have a specified ringtone for each). I'm so numb.

I have a boyfriend and he's the first person I shared everything to. Today my mom was supporting her favourite actor's affairs. There's pics and videos but she was calling them AI when she can't even differentiate an obvious AI dog video on Facebook. So I fought to her about it. Then when I was telling him what happened today with full anger like how can a person support such act just cause they're your favourite actor, his reply was "Don't be too mad over such things, let it be. You get mad too often over such small matters" repeatedly. I was reading the text with tears in my eyes. Yes, I'm known as the angry child since I was like 5. Plus I'm a girl, so it's always "as a girl it's not good to get this angry". So to hear this same thing from my boyfriend who knows exactly what I grew up witnessing and why I am how I am was simply so heartbreaking. I told him this will be the last I ever talk to him about it while he just kept apologising.

I just don't know. It's them who's having an affair but it's me who's so mentally affected and exhausted. Even if I try to share it finally, I'm told I'm being too much. What am I even supposed to do or how do I even take care of myself mentally?

TL;DR : Both my parents are in an extra marital affair and I'm mentally affected seeing it happening in my home everyday.

I'm (21F) and a university student. I stayed in hostel during my diploma years — 2 years.

​

During my highschool time, my parents were the one who woke me up to school daily. Even with loud alarms I can't wake up when everyone else in the house will. So when I went to uni, I was very afraid of missing classes due to sleep. At the beginning, I was trying to sleep early and managed to wake up by my roommate (she too woke up because of my alarm..). Then one day my roommate left for her early morning class and mine was like 10am. I missed it since no one was there to wake me up and my alarm was just ringing loud, curtains wide open, sunlight right into room. Yet, I couldn't wake up. Once I was awake, I was on the floor bawling my eyes like "why can't I wake up early even with the alarms ringing and sunlight right on my face???". I was so devastated with myself. Since then, I pull an all night and go to class. And in class, I'll fall asleep sometimes.

​

My sleep schedule has gone down the drain ever since. Now when I'm home after completing my Diploma, I still sleep 4 to 6am and wake up like 2 or 3pm. Even if I try myself to sleep early, I just can't. My body is like fixed to the schedule. I'll be starting Degree in 2 months and I'll be travelling using public transport. So I have to be awake even earlier, and I have already decided I'm gonna lose my entire sleep. I have a boyfriend too and disappeared for like 6 hours in afternoon just cause I slept off and didn't have enough sleep during night time. We had a small argument earlier just due to that. I'm so frustrated. My sleep is spoiling everything around me.

​

Anyone had gone through something similar? Or have any advice to fix this?

I'm (21F) and a university student. I stayed in hostel during my diploma years — 2 years.

​

During my highschool time, my parents were the one who woke me up to school daily. Even with loud alarms I can't wake up when everyone else in the house will. So when I went to uni, I was very afraid of missing classes due to sleep. At the beginning, I was trying to sleep early and managed to wake up by my roommate (she too woke up because of my alarm..). Then one day my roommate left for her early morning class and mine was like 10am. I missed it since no one was there to wake me up and my alarm was just ringing loud, curtains wide open, sunlight right into room. Yet, I couldn't wake up. Once I was awake, I was on the floor bawling my eyes like "why can't I wake up early even with the alarms ringing and sunlight right on my face???". I was so devastated with myself. Since then, I pull an all night and go to class. And in class, I'll fall asleep sometimes.

​

My sleep schedule has gone down the drain ever since. Now when I'm home after completing my Diploma, I still sleep 4 to 6am and wake up like 2 or 3pm. Even if I try myself to sleep early, I just can't. My body is like fixed to the schedule. I'll be starting Degree in 2 months and I'll be travelling using public transport. So I have to be awake even earlier, and I have already decided I'm gonna lose my entire sleep. I have a boyfriend too and disappeared for like 6 hours in afternoon just cause I slept off and didn't have enough sleep during night time. We had a small argument earlier just due to that. I'm so frustrated. My sleep is spoiling everything around me.

​

Anyone had gone through something similar? Or have any advice to fix this?

I'm (21F) and a university student. I stayed in hostel during my diploma years — 2 years.

​

During my highschool time, my parents were the one who woke me up to school daily. Even with loud alarms I can't wake up when everyone else in the house will. So when I went to uni, I was very afraid of missing classes due to sleep. At the beginning, I was trying to sleep early and managed to wake up by my roommate (she too woke up because of my alarm..). Then one day my roommate left for her early morning class and mine was like 10am. I missed it since no one was there to wake me up and my alarm was just ringing loud, curtains wide open, sunlight right into room. Yet, I couldn't wake up. Once I was awake, I was on the floor bawling my eyes like "why can't I wake up early even with the alarms ringing and sunlight right on my face???". I was so devastated with myself. Since then, I pull an all night and go to class. And in class, I'll fall asleep sometimes.

​

My sleep schedule has gone down the drain ever since. Now when I'm home after completing my Diploma, I still sleep 4 to 6am and wake up like 2 or 3pm. Even if I try myself to sleep early, I just can't. My body is like fixed to the schedule. I'll be starting Degree in 2 months and I'll be travelling using public transport. So I have to be awake even earlier, and I have already decided I'm gonna lose my entire sleep. I have a boyfriend too and disappeared for like 6 hours in afternoon just cause I slept off and didn't have enough sleep during night time. We had a small argument earlier just due to that. I'm so frustrated. My sleep is spoiling everything around me.

​

Anyone had gone through something similar? Or have any advice to fix this?

I'm (21F) and a university student. I stayed in hostel during my diploma years — 2 years.

​

During my highschool time, my parents were the one who woke me up to school daily. Even with loud alarms I can't wake up when everyone else in the house will. So when I went to uni, I was very afraid of missing classes due to sleep. At the beginning, I was trying to sleep early and managed to wake up by my roommate (she too woke up because of my alarm..). Then one day my roommate left for her early morning class and mine was like 10am. I missed it since no one was there to wake me up and my alarm was just ringing loud, curtains wide open, sunlight right into room. Yet, I couldn't wake up. Once I was awake, I was on the floor bawling my eyes like "why can't I wake up early even with the alarms ringing and sunlight right on my face???". I was so devastated with myself. Since then, I pull an all night and go to class. And in class, I'll fall asleep sometimes.

​

My sleep schedule has gone down the drain ever since. Now when I'm home after completing my Diploma, I still sleep 4 to 6am and wake up like 2 or 3pm. Even if I try myself to sleep early, I just can't. My body is like fixed to the schedule. I'll be starting Degree in 2 months and I'll be travelling using public transport. So I have to be awake even earlier, and I have already decided I'm gonna lose my entire sleep. I have a boyfriend too and disappeared for like 6 hours in afternoon just cause I slept off and didn't have enough sleep during night time. We had a small argument earlier just due to that. I'm so frustrated. My sleep is spoiling everything around me.

​

Anyone had gone through something similar? Or have any advice to fix this?

I'm (21F) and a university student. I stayed in hostel during my diploma years — 2 years.

​

During my highschool time, my parents were the one who woke me up to school daily. Even with loud alarms I can't wake up when everyone else in the house will. So when I went to uni, I was very afraid of missing classes due to sleep. At the beginning, I was trying to sleep early and managed to wake up by my roommate (she too woke up because of my alarm..). Then one day my roommate left for her early morning class and mine was like 10am. I missed it since no one was there to wake me up and my alarm was just ringing loud, curtains wide open, sunlight right into room. Yet, I couldn't wake up. Once I was awake, I was on the floor bawling my eyes like "why can't I wake up early even with the alarms ringing and sunlight right on my face???". I was so devastated with myself. Since then, I pull an all night and go to class. And in class, I'll fall asleep sometimes.

​

My sleep schedule has gone down the drain ever since. Now when I'm home after completing my Diploma, I still sleep 4 to 6am and wake up like 2 or 3pm. Even if I try myself to sleep early, I just can't. My body is like fixed to the schedule. I'll be starting Degree in 2 months and I'll be travelling using public transport. So I have to be awake even earlier, and I have already decided I'm gonna lose my entire sleep. I have a boyfriend too and disappeared for like 6 hours in afternoon just cause I slept off and didn't have enough sleep during night time. We had a small argument earlier just due to that. I'm so frustrated. My sleep is spoiling everything around me.

​

Anyone had gone through something similar? Or have any advice to fix this?

I'm (21F) and a university student. I stayed in hostel during my diploma years — 2 years.

​

During my highschool time, my parents were the one who woke me up to school daily. Even with loud alarms I can't wake up when everyone else in the house will. So when I went to uni, I was very afraid of missing classes due to sleep. At the beginning, I was trying to sleep early and managed to wake up by my roommate (she too woke up because of my alarm..). Then one day my roommate left for her early morning class and mine was like 10am. I missed it since no one was there to wake me up and my alarm was just ringing loud, curtains wide open, sunlight right into room. Yet, I couldn't wake up. Once I was awake, I was on the floor bawling my eyes like "why can't I wake up early even with the alarms ringing and sunlight right on my face???". I was so devastated with myself. Since then, I pull an all night and go to class. And in class, I'll fall asleep sometimes.

​

My sleep schedule has gone down the drain ever since. Now when I'm home after completing my Diploma, I still sleep 4 to 6am and wake up like 2 or 3pm. Even if I try myself to sleep early, I just can't. My body is like fixed to the schedule. I'll be starting Degree in 2 months and I'll be travelling using public transport. So I have to be awake even earlier, and I have already decided I'm gonna lose my entire sleep. I have a boyfriend too and disappeared for like 6 hours in afternoon just cause I slept off and didn't have enough sleep during night time. We had a small argument earlier just due to that. I'm so frustrated. My sleep is spoiling everything around me.

​

Anyone had gone through something similar? Or have any advice to fix this?

My boyfriend has few female friends who he is very close with. They are ALL so slim, thin, pretty, and simply type of girls any guys would fall for.

While me, I'm fat, thick everywhere. I'm trying, not saying I'm not. But that doesn't stop me from feeling extremely insecure. They're so effortlessly pretty. They can go out in a bun, bare face, a simple outfit. Yet look drop gorgeous! I could never.

I'm scared I might get distant with my boyfriend due to this insecurity feeling. I haven't met his friends yet and I'm already worried if they're gonna see me as the "fat one". It also makes me think why would he go for ME when all his life he's been around pretty girls and not someone like ME.

How do I fix this? My self esteem is down the drain. I feel mentally exhausted just looking at his friends' insta stories. All I could hear is my brain screaming "why me?" ..

My boyfriend has few female friends who he is very close with. They are ALL so slim, thin, pretty, and simply type of girls any guys would fall for.

While me, I'm fat, thick everywhere. I'm trying, not saying I'm not. But that doesn't stop me from feeling extremely insecure. They're so effortlessly pretty. They can go out in a bun, bare face, a simple outfit. Yet look drop gorgeous! I could never.

I'm scared I might get distant with my boyfriend due to this insecurity feeling. I haven't met his friends yet and I'm already worried if they're gonna see me as the "fat one". It also makes me think why would he go for ME when all his life he's been around pretty girls and not someone like ME.

How do I fix this? My self esteem is down the drain. I feel mentally exhausted just looking at his friends' insta stories. All I could hear is my brain screaming "why me?" ..

My boyfriend has few female friends who he is very close with. They are ALL so slim, thin, pretty, and simply type of girls any guys would fall for.

While me, I'm fat, thick everywhere. I'm trying, not saying I'm not. But that doesn't stop me from feeling extremely insecure. They're so effortlessly pretty. They can go out in a bun, bare face, a simple outfit. Yet look drop gorgeous! I could never.

I'm scared I might get distant with my boyfriend due to this insecurity feeling. I haven't met his friends yet and I'm already worried if they're gonna see me as the "fat one". It also makes me think why would he go for ME when all his life he's been around pretty girls and not someone like ME.

How do I fix this? My self esteem is down the drain. I feel mentally exhausted just looking at his friends' insta stories. All I could hear is my brain screaming "why me?" ..

TL;DR: How to not feel insecure around boyfriend's girl friends?

My boyfriend has few female friends who he is very close with. They are ALL so slim, thin, pretty, and simply type of girls any guys would fall for.

While me, I'm fat, thick everywhere. I'm trying, not saying I'm not. But that doesn't stop me from feeling extremely insecure. They're so effortlessly pretty. They can go out in a bun, bare face, a simple outfit. Yet look drop gorgeous! I could never.

I'm scared I might get distant with my boyfriend due to this insecurity feeling. I haven't met his friends yet and I'm already worried if they're gonna see me as the "fat one". It also makes me think why would he go for ME when all his life he's been around pretty girls and not someone like ME.

How do I fix this? My self esteem is down the drain. I feel mentally exhausted just looking at his friends' insta stories. All I could hear is my brain screaming "why me?" ..

If at your job you were informed your supervisors/boss/manager or anyone in charge is considering to terminate you and ask you to behave well asap, would you resign the job yourself before they actually terminate or stay to improve?

Note: I'm just a part timer at a fnb. The "behave well" mentioned was just keeping the equipment in place and following SOP. Which I've been doing good mostly now. There are very little things I lack at. We have 2 supervisors and my main one failed to teach me most of the things in the beginning. Which I later learned myself by seeing how other staffs work. And the supervisor went on to tell the other supervisor that they're considering to terminate due to how I work 😀. While I have covered THEIR shift for them, I have helped to cover when other staffs are not here and I have also stayed longer many times when required to. When it's day off, they'll call me to come and I still will go, literally never said no. I have done opening alone when my supervisor didn't teach me ANYTHING in the beginning. I didn't even know how to turn on the computer or the password to it. It was the other part timer who taught me. They also said I talk back a lot. Huh? I'm the most silent person and say "yes, okay" to everything. I don't even talk to this supervisor much cause they never gave me the space. Shows face a lot and didn't like me from the beginning. I have no idea why. At the end, I was told this supervisor is thinking of terminating me.

I was pretty down when the other supervisor told me about this. But now that I sit and think, I'm considering quitting too. I know I can improve at the places I lack at. At the same time, I don't wish to be in a toxic environment. This is my very first job too as a student.

If at your job you were informed your supervisors/boss/manager or anyone in charge is considering to terminate you and ask you to behave well asap, would you resign the job yourself before they actually terminate or stay to improve?

Note: I'm just a part timer at a fnb. The "behave well" mentioned was just keeping the equipment in place and following SOP. Which I've been doing good mostly now. There are very little things I lack at. We have 2 supervisors and my main one failed to teach me most of the things in the beginning. Which I later learned myself by seeing how other staffs work. And the supervisor went on to tell the other supervisor that they're considering to terminate due to how I work 😀. While I have covered THEIR shift for them, I have helped to cover when other staffs are not here and I have also stayed longer many times when required to. When it's day off, they'll call me to come and I still will go, literally never said no. I have done opening alone when my supervisor didn't teach me ANYTHING in the beginning. I didn't even know how to turn on the computer or the password to it. It was the other part timer who taught me. They also said I talk back a lot. Huh? I'm the most silent person and say "yes, okay" to everything. I don't even talk to this supervisor much cause they never gave me the space. Shows face a lot and didn't like me from the beginning. I have no idea why. At the end, I was told this supervisor is thinking of terminating me.

I was pretty down when the other supervisor told me about this. But now that I sit and think, I'm considering quitting too. I know I can improve at the places I lack at. At the same time, I don't wish to be in a toxic environment. This is my very first job too as a student.

If at your job you were informed your supervisors/boss/manager or anyone in charge is considering to terminate you and ask you to behave well asap, would you resign the job yourself before they actually terminate or stay to improve?

Note: I'm just a part timer at a fnb. The "behave well" mentioned was just keeping the equipment in place and following SOP. Which I've been doing good mostly now. There are very little things I lack at. We have 2 supervisors and my main one failed to teach me most of the things in the beginning. Which I later learned myself by seeing how other staffs work. And the supervisor went on to tell the other supervisor that they're considering to terminate due to how I work 😀. While I have covered THEIR shift for them, I have helped to cover when other staffs are not here and I have also stayed longer many times when required to. When it's day off, they'll call me to come and I still will go, literally never said no. I have done opening alone when my supervisor didn't teach me ANYTHING in the beginning. I didn't even know how to turn on the computer or the password to it. It was the other part timer who taught me. They also said I talk back a lot. Huh? I'm the most silent person and say "yes, okay" to everything. I don't even talk to this supervisor much cause they never gave me the space. Shows face a lot and didn't like me from the beginning. I have no idea why. At the end, I was told this supervisor is thinking of terminating me.

I was pretty down when the other supervisor told me about this. But now that I sit and think, I'm considering quitting too. I know I can improve at the places I lack at. At the same time, I don't wish to be in a toxic environment. This is my very first job too as a student.