u/notazombiecdn

I'm in no position to date. 37 from Canada (CST). Cis-woman, butch.

I'm not looking to date but I am looking for good deep chats and maybe visits from time to time. I work nights (7p to 7a) in the Justice System. Not a Cop.

About me:

5'3" - Overweight but an ex athlete so i'm in process of dropping the weight gained from injuries/not being nice to myself. Brown hair, brown eyes, tattoos, piercings, and I speak 2.5 languages.

I work a lot. I do have a chronic illness but I have to be a contributing member of society so going on disability is not an option. I'd rather work and be in pain than sit at home.

The goal is to start heading to the gym quite soon. I used to lift in high school and in my early 20's, it's time to get back to it. I was a two sport athlete growing up. Ringette from August to April and Fastball from Mid April to August. It was both an expectation from my parents and I enjoyed it so I continued. After my body broke down enough that I needed surgery, I let myself go and it's time to get back into being strong again.

I am child-free by choice. I was a volunteer coach for 25 years and I don't see myself wanting kids in the future. I'm not 100% no kids (I cannot have kids myself, I've had a hysterectomy), I'm just not in a place to have kids right now.

I no longer speak with my family. There's a long history there but to make it short, I was tired about always looking from the outside in.

My goals:

I didn't really get the opportunity to travel as a kid. My family always wanted the cabin instead of the travel so my goal is to really travel in my new life. Anywhere and everywhere! I'm currently looking into moving to the UK as part of the US ancestry visa program.

I would like to find myself, the true me. I know who I am but I have trauma that I haven't really dealt with fully and I know that makes me in no position to date. I am currently in therapy, actively working on being the best person I can be.

What I like:

Psychology: I love learning about human behavior and what makes people tick. I love forensic psych, behavioral psych, clinical, all of it. I'm currently considering taking online courses on my way to getting a PhD in Psych but, also getting a degree towards becoming a Librarian (my post law enforcement plan).

Sports: I love analyzing them, learning how hard athletes worked to get where they are. I've been skating on ice since I could walk, on concrete since the age of 6. I finished playing ball with an avg. of .776, line drives through short or dead at the pitcher were my specialty unless my coach called for me to place it. I was a catcher, and could keep hits to a minimum if my pitcher was locked in. Hockey is religion up here, so I know the game quite well. I like to watch rugby, baseball (now that there's a pitch clock), fast pitch, CFL, Athletics, Figure Skating, Gymnastics, man I could keep going but in a narrow sense. I like sports.

Books: I was reading chapter books in Grade 1, sent to the school library for book reports. I lost the thrill of reading in high school and didn't pick it back up until I was in my 30s. I now read Thrillers mostly, high preference to serial killer/psychological thrillers. I also like true crime, sci-fi, fantasy (dystopia), and true historical books.

Food: I really like food. I like trying new things and looking at recipes to try. Not a foodie but also not a picky eater. My step-mom wasn't/isn't the best cook and I have found it hard to eat her food ever since I've eaten good food! Also, I've noticed a huge change in my palette as well.

TV: I love television, a lot of it is background noise for me but thanks for my ADHD I can retain storylines while doing other things. My all-time shows are: E.R, Grimm, Face-Off, Forged in Fire, Law & Order (all 5), FBI (All 3), Criminal Minds, Bull, Bones, Castle. I don't have comfort shows, I don't really rewatch episodes. My current shows: Elsbeth, Criminal Minds, The Rainmaker, The Hunting Wives, Lincoln Lawyer, etc... I actually have an app that keeps track of everything for me.

Trivia: All different kinds really. I retain a ridiculous amount of information. I like to go to trivia events when I can. It's not often though.

What I'm looking for:

A woman 30 - 50 who has a career. Is looking for companionship but not necessarily a girlfriend. Late night chats, same interests.

I'm willing to travel to them so LD is open! Obviously I'd like to chat and get to know one another before falling into bed if it goes that way. Think of like FWB type deal.

Know that if i'm sleeping with someone it's ONLY that someone.

This is quite honestly a long shot but if you're interested, drop me a comment or DM.

I have a very chatty, very loving (velcro cat), orange tabby I rescued (well, he let himself out of his kennel, he picked me but, how could I say no) in 2015, he was 10 months.

I moved out in 2021 and its MOSTLY been him and I since (there was a 6 month relationship where a 12 week old Tortie was introduced and he "tolerated" her. Would be fine if he was not on me but, was possessive of me and the behaviour was corrected when he began to growl. He was not allowed on me if that was how he was going to behave)

I work shift work where I am away for up to 20 hours if I need to stay at work. Nights only. I'm usually gone for 13 hours only. He has free reign of the condo. He has a bed at the big window, he has ALL the pillows on my bed (his favourite), I do need to re-up scratching pads (this week), he has an auto feeder that dispenses food 4 times a day (roughly 3/4 cup of food, he's a big boy), and a 3L stainless steel water fountain. I have plans to build a cat tree in both my room and in front of the big window as he loves the sun as he's been aging. Also, his behaviour is more of a 3 year old than a 10/11 year old. He zooms around every time I get home, and loves to play with a wand or laser.

I've been considering adopting a companion as he is SO chatty and it's beginning to cause me to lose sleep. I'm not mad at him, I understand it's his personality but, I need to sleep. I work 36 hours every other weekend and it's usually get home, shower, eat, sleep, repeat. When I lived with my parents, he had my parents and for a time he had our senior terrier and midlife shepherd (his bestie).

My question is this, IF I was to adopt another cat, do you think I might be able to get a 3+ aged cat? or do I need to stick to kitten/<8mths. At this point I'm not sure if a female or male would be best. He does have some anxiety, and he is on urinary food (dry only, he tends to only eat the gravy of the wet food and leave the rest to go rancid)

I have knowledge but not nearly as much as reddit and I really appreciate your time and expertise in answering this post. Please know unless I'm 100% sold on adopting I will not, I refuse to rehome or surrender. I make good money, I knew the commitment before I adopted my boy, and I'm just trying to provide him a better life as due to work I'm not really home some weeks (I work 60 hours one week and 24 the next)

Thank you!

I have a very chatty, very loving (velcro cat), orange tabby I rescued (well, he let himself out of his kennel, he picked me but, how could I say no) in 2015, he was 10 months.

I moved out in 2021 and its MOSTLY been him and I since (there was a 6 month relationship where a 12 week old Tortie was introduced and he "tolerated" her. Would be fine if he was not on me but, was possessive of me and the behaviour was corrected when he began to growl. He was not allowed on me if that was how he was going to behave)

I work shift work where I am away for up to 20 hours if I need to stay at work. Nights only. I'm usually gone for 13 hours only. He has free reign of the condo. He has a bed at the big window, he has ALL the pillows on my bed (his favourite), I do need to re-up scratching pads (this week), he has an auto feeder that dispenses food 4 times a day (roughly 3/4 cup of food, he's a big boy), and a 3L stainless steel water fountain. I have plans to build a cat tree in both my room and in front of the big window as he loves the sun as he's been aging. Also, his behaviour is more of a 3 year old than a 10/11 year old. He zooms around every time I get home, and loves to play with a wand or laser.

I've been considering adopting a companion as he is SO chatty and it's beginning to cause me to lose sleep. I'm not mad at him, I understand it's his personality but, I need to sleep. I work 36 hours every other weekend and it's usually get home, shower, eat, sleep, repeat. When I lived with my parents, he had my parents and for a time he had our senior terrier and midlife shepherd (his bestie).

My question is this, IF I was to adopt another cat, do you think I might be able to get a 3+ aged cat? or do I need to stick to kitten/<8mths. At this point I'm not sure if a female or male would be best. He does have some anxiety, and he is on urinary food (dry only, he tends to only eat the gravy of the wet food and leave the rest to go rancid)

I have knowledge but not nearly as much as reddit and I really appreciate your time and expertise in answering this post. Please know unless I'm 100% sold on adopting I will not, I refuse to rehome or surrender. I make good money, I knew the commitment before I adopted my boy, and I'm just trying to provide him a better life as due to work I'm not really home some weeks (I work 60 hours one week and 24 the next)

Thank you!

For unfair work practices and actions causing mental anguish? I've taken proper routes and nothing is happening.

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I feel like my province deserves to know how the government is really treating their workers

I'm 37 and I've heard that sleeping on the floor or with like a tatami mat and thin pad is amazing for your skeletal system.

Is there any truth in that?

I did sleep on the floor for a week ish 8 years ago and I remember feeling better.

Any assistance would be amazing!

I want to say mid thirties but, I'm closer to 40. I work the night shift right now so I'm awake when no one else is.

First off, I work in Law Enforcement. I love my job, and I know that the only way to fix a broken system is from the inside. Also, it's not going to get fixed tomorrow.

As for politics, I like to make my own opinions on things by learning all the sides of a problem/incident/event before I form a "side". I'm not right or left leaning. I'm just me.

Interests: Let's play a game?

Would you rather

Crib or Sequence

Poker or Blackjack

Romantasy or Thrillers

Criminal Minds or House of Cards

Deadpool or Harley Quinn

Poutine or Chili Fries

I love board/card games, I'm a beast at trivia. I read and binge tv. I'm super low key, I love a good night at an arcade. I like to cook for others but for myself I fall on easy things to make.

Looking for good chats and maybe more? We'll see where things lead? Open to LDR/Online.

Respond with my would you rathers :) and the best date you've ever been on?

Before you tell me to distance myself, I have. I'm just wondering how to eventually deal with the backlash.

I have been "out" for roughly 23 years. I have never officially come out but when I was 14 I started wearing clothing that felt more like myself (I'm masc) and my mannerisms/interests have always been more masculine.

I have always felt very controlled by my family, mainly my father. I have given up healthy relationships for my family because I was made to feel like the scum of the earth that I was putting myself first. After a fair bit of therapy, I have finally cut most communication with my family and I haven't seen them much since doing so either. When I made this distance, my dad called me and asked why I had been so distant, I explained that I had just returned back to work from sick leave, I have a chronic health condiiton that causes extreme fatigue and a lot of pain, and I've been resting/working. He responded with "Oh, we thought you might have a new friend".

FRIEND!?!?! I'm 37. That comment hit me harder than I ever thought it would. They say they support me and just want me to be happy but can't even call my partner (if I had one) my girlfriend? I stated I had to go rest and hung up.

I'm very much the black sheep in my family. I'm a lesbian, I work in a high stress, shift work, dangerous, and government position whereas everyone else in my family is 9-5 blue collar. At family dinners, the focus is always on my brother and sister and their accomplishments, I rarely get asked anything. If I mention something in our family group chat, crickets. If my siblings mention something, everyone is very responsive and celebratory.

In a nutshell, I'm very fed up. Mother's day brunch was awful. I'm really dreading Father's day. I'm conveniently working most of the upcoming holidays (which they normally try to guilt me into not going in for my shift by saying "you don't know how long anyone of us is going to be around much longer"). Holiday pay is big big money and for the past 8 years I have sacrificed shifts and money to attend holidays and dinners where I'm anxious, overwhelmed, and ignored the whole time.

I guess I'm trying to figure out how to continue the distance respectfully. My parents are what I consider fragile and a little soft. They take decisions very personally instead of seeing the entire picture. I know my parents love me. I love them (though I'm unable to either speak it or text it to them ever), but the lack of feeling seen by them has taken it's toll and I'm finally putting myself first.

Whats the best way to prepare myself for the guilt trips that will inevitably happen?

I'm 37 and Canadian. I have a decent knowledge of computer programs but have no idea what to look for when it comes to components of a PC.

New Build

No Existing Parts, starting from scratch

Canada (Memory Express, Best Buy, NewEgg, Amazon, Uniway, CanadaComputers)

Purpose: Photo Editing/Video Editing, MS Office, Canva, Photopea, Two Point Hospital, Two Point Campus. Eventually Editing a website as well. (Video Editing is for social media and game analysis, and instructional videos)

Monitors: 2-3, one will be vertical. You'll have to assist me with size, refresh rate, and resolution

Budget: 4.5K CAD max (Monitors and PC) (Best value is preferred but I'm willing to sink in money if it means not having to upgrade for a long time)

WiFi or Wired, I'm open to pros and cons to both

Preferably a 1TB or 2TB SSD, I'm most likely building a NAS soon

Quieter the better, colour isn't a big deal, lights are not important for me.

I have a keyboard and mouse for it already

Message me or shoot a comment in case you need more info? I appreciate any assistance you can provide!

As the title mentioned, I am looking at a new desktop PC. I have a laptop but, I enjoy a desktop much more.

I will be using the PC mostly for business/home documentation however, it MAY get used to play TwoPoint Hospital, Campus, etc.... It will probably also get used to create graphics and media (photo/video editing) for my business (I am still deciding on which video editing program I will be using. Graphics will most likely be PhotoPea and Canva) (I will be attempting to create a website as well). I'd like a decent amount of storage (SSD or HHD not a big factor for me).

Please help me out if you can I would really appreciate it!

I'm thinking a max price of 3K, obviously the best price available would be nice haha.

(Also, if you could help by putting components into terms that a kind of sort of tech friendly person would understand would be phenomenal!)

Thank you!

EDIT: 3K CAD. I'm Canadian, I forgot to add that in :)

I want to hear about your biggest dreams! How did you get them? Where are you at with them? Tell me all about your passions!!

I work nights. Looking for some good chats and conversations. Slow burn style. Random questions and tangents welcome!

Context: My parents divorced when I was 3. My dad remarried when I was 7. There is 8 years between my half brother and I and 12 years between my half sister and I. My biological mother has never really been in my life, and as such my step mom is who I consider to be my mother. Also, I'm a lesbian and the only queer person in my family.

Okay so, I have always been "closely monitored" by my father since as long as I can remember. I didn't do well in school (bio-mom drama/trauma from her/incredibly bored at school), my mom (step mom) was a teacher and therefore I was required to be the best growing up in school, which eventually made me hate it. I was reading chapter books in grade 1 and expected to write half page book reports in French and full page reports on English books. I ended up not finishing high school. I was never allowed to go to sleep overs with teammates for sports (only school friends), my life was school, home to help with my siblings, and sports. My siblings, never had any of this at all.

Come to my 20s, I decided I wanted to try broadcasting, I moved provinces and felt my first taste of freedom. It was incrdible. I moved back after 2.5 years in broadcasting. I fell out of love with it. I went back to my first passion Law Enforcement and have been working in it since 2017. I love my job, I work 12 hour shifts and also have a chronic health condition that makes me very tired so my recovery days are spent at home. In my mid teens to most of my 30s every winter I would volunteer coach with my dad and sister. The first few years I wanted to do it, then I started realizing I've never really traveled and I want to do that. We never went anywhere as a family. Just the cabin every weekend (which I didn't go to often once I could stay home alone because it was a pretty remote area and not much to do as my siblings aren't near my age). So, I started trying to tell my dad listen I don't really want to do this anymore. My dad's idea is "family is everything" you drop everything for family.

I have never felt like a real part of that family in my entire life. I was raised by 3 different families essentially, my dad, my maternal grandparents, and for a very short period of time my biological mother. My views and experiences have been drastically different from my siblings and as such, I have different views. They all work "regular" jobs (8-4 M-F). I work a high stress, long shifts, social battery draining job and I began to start getting panic attacks between the feeling of being guilted into seeing family when I wasn't sleeping and exhausted from work and then having to work again. This is a constant. They make plans on one day, and if I can't make it because I'm working, it ends up being my fault (I work a rotation...there is no "choice"). Recently I've taken the stance of "me first" as my health has really been faltering and I've focused more on maintaining my meds, supplements and resting/rehabilitation in attempts to maintain a better lifestyle and haven't seen them a lot. I received a text today asking when I would be around next and I said Mother's Day. It was replied with "we would like to see you sooner" which now feels like I'm going to be interrogated. I explained that I work 60 hours this week and next week I have shifts and appointments (also working nights, I'm usually not awake when they are ..so???). Also, I usually work most STATs because its double time and a half for me which is big, big money. I am usually greeted with "I wish you wouldn't work on the holidays, you don't know how long any of us will be around".

I am quintessentially the Black Sheep of the family. I'm a lesbian, I work in a field that any of my family has any interest in or even remotely understand, I have tattoos and peircings (my family has none of that "it's a waste of money"). Other than sports we have nothing in common. I came out at 15 ...so we're almost 23 years in and my parents still ask if I have a new "friend". It's honestly exhausting.

I'm very tired of being guilted into things. I constantly feel like I'm a terrible person for wanting to do my own thing after countless years of family worship. I've given up solid relationships with partners for family because I thought it was the right thing, I feel like a garbage human a lot. It's been about 2 months since I decided to start making "me" better and honestly the weight that has been lifted is so freeing, but I am dreading the text I receive in the morning from my father about why they want to see me sooner. My brother and sister have never ever been guilted or shunned for doing things. They never had school "requirements" they were allowed their significant others in the house overnights. My father has given my sister 4 cars now, my brother also received a car, I was required to buy my own. There's a plethora of things. I'm so tired.

I do see a therapist, we do talk about this. I really just neded to vent and seek others who may have been in this situation? I'm so very tired of being controlled. I'm even seriously looking at moving overseas and leaving the job I adore because I can't handle the suffocation anymore.

Thank you if you made it this far.

Context: My parents divorced when I was 3. My dad remarried when I was 7. There is 8 years between my half brother and I and 12 years between my half sister and I. My biological mother has never really been in my life, and as such my step mom is who I consider to be my mother. Also, I'm a lesbian and the only queer person in my family.

Okay so, I have always been "closely monitored" by my father since as long as I can remember. I didn't do well in school (bio-mom drama/trauma from her/incredibly bored at school), my mom (step mom) was a teacher and therefore I was required to be the best growing up in school, which eventually made me hate it. I was reading chapter books in grade 1 and expected to write half page book reports in French and full page reports on English books. I ended up not finishing high school. I was never allowed to go to sleep overs with teammates for sports (only school friends), my life was school, home to help with my siblings, and sports. My siblings, never had any of this at all.

Come to my 20s, I decided I wanted to try broadcasting, I moved provinces and felt my first taste of freedom. It was incrdible. I moved back after 2.5 years in broadcasting. I fell out of love with it. I went back to my first passion Law Enforcement and have been working in it since 2017. I love my job, I work 12 hour shifts and also have a chronic health condition that makes me very tired so my recovery days are spent at home. In my mid teens to most of my 30s every winter I would volunteer coach with my dad and sister. The first few years I wanted to do it, then I started realizing I've never really traveled and I want to do that. We never went anywhere as a family. Just the cabin every weekend (which I didn't go to often once I could stay home alone because it was a pretty remote area and not much to do as my siblings aren't near my age). So, I started trying to tell my dad listen I don't really want to do this anymore. My dad's idea is "family is everything" you drop everything for family.

I have never felt like a real part of that family in my entire life. I was raised by 3 different families essentially, my dad, my maternal grandparents, and for a very short period of time my biological mother. My views and experiences have been drastically different from my siblings and as such, I have different views. They all work "regular" jobs (8-4 M-F). I work a high stress, long shifts, social battery draining job and I began to start getting panic attacks between the feeling of being guilted into seeing family when I wasn't sleeping and exhausted from work and then having to work again. This is a constant. They make plans on one day, and if I can't make it because I'm working, it ends up being my fault (I work a rotation...there is no "choice"). Recently I've taken the stance of "me first" as my health has really been faltering and I've focused more on maintaining my meds, supplements and resting/rehabilitation in attempts to maintain a better lifestyle and haven't seen them a lot. I received a text today asking when I would be around next and I said Mother's Day. It was replied with "we would like to see you sooner" which now feels like I'm going to be interrogated. I explained that I work 60 hours this week and next week I have shifts and appointments (also working nights, I'm usually not awake when they are ..so???). Also, I usually work most STATs because its double time and a half for me which is big, big money. I am usually greeted with "I wish you wouldn't work on the holidays, you don't know how long any of us will be around".

I am quintessentially the Black Sheep of the family. I'm a lesbian, I work in a field that any of my family has any interest in or even remotely understand, I have tattoos and peircings (my family has none of that "it's a waste of money"). Other than sports we have nothing in common. I came out at 15 ...so we're almost 23 years in and my parents still ask if I have a new "friend". It's honestly exhausting.

I'm very tired of being guilted into things. I constantly feel like I'm a terrible person for wanting to do my own thing after countless years of family worship. I've given up solid relationships with partners for family because I thought it was the right thing, I feel like a garbage human a lot. It's been about 2 months since I decided to start making "me" better and honestly the weight that has been lifted is so freeing, but I am dreading the text I receive in the morning from my father about why they want to see me sooner. My brother and sister have never ever been guilted or shunned for doing things. They never had school "requirements" they were allowed their significant others in the house overnights. My father has given my sister 4 cars now, my brother also received a car, I was required to buy my own. There's a plethora of things. I'm so tired.

I do see a therapist, we do talk about this. I really just neded to vent and seek others who may have been in this situation? I'm so very tired of being controlled. I'm even seriously looking at moving overseas and leaving the job I adore because I can't handle the suffocation anymore.

Thank you if you made it this far.