u/psnben1567

Hi all, I am currently in relationship, 7 months in. My previous long term relationship ending after my ex cheated on me with a girl and came out as bisexual.

Problem I'm having is I keep getting paranoid my new partner will do the same. She is also slightly bisexual, but told me that before we started dating. Fundamentally I have no issue with that, that's her business. During our early days, she was talking to another guy before we agreed exclusivity, but she stopped that as soon as we did.

But I cant escape these feelings that she may one day cheat on me, and the reasons behind it are ludicrous. Here are some examples I think:

- I dont want her to go to the park with her kids incase she meets someone else.

- I dont want her to hang out with her friends incase she sleeps with them.

- I don't like leaving to go to the supermarket incase she invites someone round whilst im gone.

- Everytime she is on her phone, I get paranoid she is cheating.

- Part of me wants to search and scour her phone looking for any evidence of anything.

- I keep imagining her with others and it drives me furious.

- She is very sexually forward, which means we have a great sex life. But makes me wonder if her horniness will lead her astray.

I dont get what is wrong with me. Before I got cheated on i was never like this. I'm not a controlling person, I don't want to be. I want her to live her life and be happy. But I cant shake the feelings. I have even started calling in sick to work and abandoning hobbies purely because im concerned she will cheat on me whilst I do them.

When I first got with her I told her all about my orevious relationship. She reassured me that she has never cheated on someone and never would. And that she herself has been cheated on before.

Why can't i just fucking let go and enjoy what I have now.

Hi all, I am a 30 year old man in the UK. I have had multiple long term relationships, lived with partners before. But still, to this day, I struggle with not being needy on messages.

I still constantly check my phone to see if my partner has replied, or to see when she was last active. If she hasn't replied to me but I see her active elsewhere it kills me. I get all these rushing thoughts of "she doesn't love you anymore" "she doesn't want to be with you" etc.

TL;DR I dont get it. Because i no she has kids and I know she has a life. I am NOT entitled to a response of any kind from her whatsoever. But it just sends my nervous system spiralling. Prevents me from eating, working or doing anything much at all.

I do wonder if I have RSD, I was diagnosed with ADHD combined at the weekend. So it wouldn't surprise me.

Hi all, I am a 30 year old man in the UK. I have had multiple long term relationships, lived with partners before. But still, to this day, I struggle with not being needy on messages.

I still constantly check my phone to see if my partner has replied, or to see when she was last active. If she hasn't replied to me but I see her active elsewhere it kills me. I get all these rushing thoughts of "she doesn't love you anymore" "she doesn't want to be with you" etc.

And I dont get it. Because i no she has kids and I know she has a life. I am NOT entitled to a response of any kind from her whatsoever. But it just sends my nervous system spiralling. Prevents me from eating, working or doing anything much at all.

I do wonder if I have RSD, I was diagnosed with ADHD combined at the weekend. So it wouldn't surprise me.

Morning all, this weekend gone. I was finally diagnosed with ADHD combined. After 30 years of wondering and contemplating. I am UK based, and went with CareADHD. I have now filled the forms in for medication. But I have no idea how long I will be waiting, 18 weeks is what I have heard. Anyone here gone with CareADHD and can tell me their experiences?

My whole life I have never stopped talking. Always interrupting, always sticking my nose in, invading privacy.

Im finally getting my ADHD assessment this weekend. But its a bit of a forgone conclusion. My partner who already has a diagnosis has combined ADHD. And I seriously overwhelmed her with the amount of sh*t I talk.

How do you stop doing something you aren't immediately aware you are doing?

I 30M and my partner, a 35F have been together now for a little over 6 months. We had a pretty rough start to our first month for details I am not wanting to go into. Mainly because it's the past and I have moved on from that time.

Recently though, over the past month things have gotten a little... bickery?? For want of a better term. We don't have massive arguments or screaming matches. But just little things here and there that are probably unneccesary. Now there are external circumstances going on in both our lives. I recently started a new job and well as weight loss treatment. And she has a very stressful high profile job in the NHS, along with a complex child with LD and other conditions. All of which is very taxing on her, which is completely understandable. She is an amazing mother, kind, caring, and would fight to the end for her children any day of the week.

I have my own blame to take in these situations. Part of being in a relationship with her was always going to be taking on her crazy life, and everything that came with that. I fully 100% accepted and still accept that. I've actually quite enjoyed having this newfound responsibilty in my life. But there has been multiple occassions where I have ignored her needs, or not done my part in situations. Or where she has had to ask me something more than once, which she shouldn't have to. Not to mention she is also diagnosed ADHD and is on medication for it. So, typical ADHD in women means results are wanted before they are even requested :)

But what I want to know is how do I navigate this little rough patch. I'm pretty sure I should just do the obvious. Do better at supporting her and meeting her basic needs. Doesn't sound like rocket science, but I'm also awaiting a possible AuDHD diagnosis so that may factor in. Thing is, I can do that, I can be the supportive partner because I want to be that person. I am just no good and moving on. I sit here and dwell on these little squabbles rather than focus on the picture. I sit here writing on Reddit and thinking about gifts I could get or make for her to make up for my previous errors. To show her much I love her. When maybe all the long, most women don't actually care for apologies and shows of love. Perhaps she'd just rather see practical changes.

And before anyone says "Dude you have only been together 6 months, why are you so emotionally invested?". Well it's because this one is different. I have been in multiple long term relationships. I have never felt so loved, so seen, so understood by someone. I have never felt such a sense of belonging and harmony in my pure existence as I feel with her. I am 110% certain she is the woman I should be spending my life with. Her love is just... different to anyone elses. And only when I am with her do I realise how much I had been missing....

I 30M and my partner, a 35F have been together now for a little over 6 months. We had a pretty rough start to our first month for details I am not wanting to go into. Mainly because it's the past and I have moved on from that time.

Recently though, over the past month things have gotten a little... bickery?? For want of a better term. We don't have massive arguments or screaming matches. But just little things here and there that are probably unneccesary. Now there are external circumstances going on in both our lives. I recently started a new job and well as weight loss treatment. And she has a very stressful high profile job in the NHS, along with a complex child with LD and other conditions. All of which is very taxing on her, which is completely understandable. She is an amazing mother, kind, caring, and would fight to the end for her children any day of the week.

I have my own blame to take in these situations. Part of being in a relationship with her was always going to be taking on her crazy life, and everything that came with that. I fully 100% accepted and still accept that. I've actually quite enjoyed having this newfound responsibilty in my life. But there has been multiple occassions where I have ignored her needs, or not done my part in situations. Or where she has had to ask me something more than once, which she shouldn't have to. Not to mention she is also diagnosed ADHD and is on medication for it. So, typical ADHD in women means results are wanted before they are even requested :)

But what I want to know is how do I navigate this little rough patch. I'm pretty sure I should just do the obvious. Do better at supporting her and meeting her basic needs. Doesn't sound like rocket science, but I'm also awaiting a possible AuDHD diagnosis so that may factor in. Thing is, I can do that, I can be the supportive partner because I want to be that person. I am just no good and moving on. I sit here and dwell on these little squabbles rather than focus on the picture. I sit here writing on Reddit and thinking about gifts I could get or make for her to make up for my previous errors. To show her much I love her. When maybe all the long, most women don't actually care for apologies and shows of love. Perhaps she'd just rather see practical changes.

And before anyone says "Dude you have only been together 6 months, why are you so emotionally invested?". Well it's because this one is different. I have been in multiple long term relationships. I have never felt so loved, so seen, so understood by someone. I have never felt such a sense of belonging and harmony in my pure existence as I feel with her. I am 110% certain she is the woman I should be spending my life with. Her love is just... different to anyone elses. And only when I am with her do I realise how much I had been missing....

Hi all, I am full time employed but also have been running a side hustle sole trader business. I have just registered as self cert for the first time after going over the £1k allowance threshold.

My question is. I am aware that at the end of the tax year that my paye and my profit will be pooled together for tax. But if I am still paying paye tax monthly now through my job, will I then be taxed on it a 2nd time at the end of the tax year when they are pooled together? Or will my previous paye payments be taken into account and I will just be charged tax on the side hustle profits in that pool?

Hi all, I am full time employed but also have been running a side hustle sole trader business. I have just registered as self cert for the first time after going over the £1k allowance threshold.

My question is. I am aware that at the end of the tax year that my paye and my profit will be pooled together for tax. But if I am still paying paye tax monthly now through my job, will I then be taxed on it a 2nd time at the end of the tax year when they are pooled together? Or will my previous paye payments be taken into account and I will just be charged tax on the side hustle profits in that pool?

Hi all, I really need some advice on how to manage an upcoming Investigation meeting.

​

Ill try to summarise as best I can. This coming Monday 22nd, ive got an meeting. Im being investigated for my conduct in testing temperatures in residents bedrooms in a care home. Essentially I had to go around and record the temps in each bedroom and write them down.

​

There is one bedroom that does not have a thermostat to be able to read. I basically wrote down a temp for this room because I was just working on autopilot and im so used to writing lists of rooms I didnt really think. I handed the list in, my manager got pissed and now im being investigated for "recording a temperature in a room that did not have a temperature monitoring device present".

​

Its incredibly petty, and just an honest mistake. But I feel like my work wants me gone. I got out on performance management back in March after a bad period of mental health. And I have been working really hard, but I feel like my bosses have been using any opportunities, no matter how small. To use against me and write me a supervision.

​

And now, if they decide I am guilty of this, they could fire me for gross negligence for "endangering a residents well being". The same day I received the meeting letter i handed in my resignation, it was the last straw for me, to have my integrity questioned. I am willing to work all my notice period to leave on good terms. But im concered that they will try and sack me beforehand to get rid of me and screw my future over.

​

What should I do? Leave without notice? Go on sick leave for mental health? Im so lost.

Hi all, I really need some advice on how to manage an upcoming Investigation meeting.

​

Ill try to summarise as best I can. This coming Monday 22nd, ive got an meeting. Im being investigated for my conduct in testing temperatures in residents bedrooms in a care home. Essentially I had to go around and record the temps in each bedroom and write them down.

​

There is one bedroom that does not have a thermostat to be able to read. I basically wrote down a temp for this room because I was just working on autopilot and im so used to writing lists of rooms I didnt really think. I handed the list in, my manager got pissed and now im being investigated for "recording a temperature in a room that did not have a temperature monitoring device present".

​

Its incredibly petty, and just an honest mistake. But I feel like my work wants me gone. I got out on performance management back in March after a bad period of mental health. And I have been working really hard, but I feel like my bosses have been using any opportunities, no matter how small. To use against me and write me a supervision.

​

And now, if they decide I am guilty of this, they could fire me for gross negligence for "endangering a residents well being". The same day I received the meeting letter i handed in my resignation, it was the last straw for me, to have my integrity questioned. I am willing to work all my notice period to leave on good terms. But im concered that they will try and sack me beforehand to get rid of me and screw my future over.

​

What should I do? Leave without notice? Go on sick leave for mental health? Im so lost.

Hi all, I really need some advice on how to manage an upcoming Investigation meeting.

​

Ill try to summarise as best I can. This coming Monday 22nd, ive got an meeting. Im being investigated for my conduct in testing temperatures in residents bedrooms in a care home. Essentially I had to go around and record the temps in each bedroom and write them down.

​

There is one bedroom that does not have a thermostat to be able to read. I basically wrote down a temp for this room because I was just working on autopilot and im so used to writing lists of rooms I didnt really think. I handed the list in, my manager got pissed and now im being investigated for "recording a temperature in a room that did not have a temperature monitoring device present".

​

Its incredibly petty, and just an honest mistake. But I feel like my work wants me gone. I got out on performance management back in March after a bad period of mental health. And I have been working really hard, but I feel like my bosses have been using any opportunities, no matter how small. To use against me and write me a supervision.

​

And now, if they decide I am guilty of this, they could fire me for gross negligence for "endangering a residents well being". The same day I received the meeting letter i handed in my resignation, it was the last straw for me, to have my integrity questioned. I am willing to work all my notice period to leave on good terms. But im concered that they will try and sack me beforehand to get rid of me and screw my future over.

​

What should I do? Leave without notice? Go on sick leave for mental health? Im so lost.

Hi all, I really need some advice on how to manage an upcoming Investigation meeting.

​

Ill try to summarise as best I can. This coming Monday 22nd, ive got an meeting. Im being investigated for my conduct in testing temperatures in residents bedrooms in a care home. Essentially I had to go around and record the temps in each bedroom and write them down.

​

There is one bedroom that does not have a thermostat to be able to read. I basically wrote down a temp for this room because I was just working on autopilot and im so used to writing lists of rooms I didnt really think. I handed the list in, my manager got pissed and now im being investigated for "recording a temperature in a room that did not have a temperature monitoring device present".

​

Its incredibly petty, and just an honest mistake. But I feel like my work wants me gone. I got out on performance management back in March after a bad period of mental health. And I have been working really hard, but I feel like my bosses have been using any opportunities, no matter how small. To use against me and write me a supervision.

​

And now, if they decide I am guilty of this, they could fire me for gross negligence for "endangering a residents well being". The same day I received the meeting letter i handed in my resignation, it was the last straw for me, to have my integrity questioned. I am willing to work all my notice period to leave on good terms. But im concered that they will try and sack me beforehand to get rid of me and screw my future over.

​

What should I do? Leave without notice? Go on sick leave for mental health? Im so lost.