u/pumpkinspicelatte96

This is very embarrassing but for the past year and a half I've fallen into using chat gpt and other AI which I feel has neglected my prayer life. I started off using it for work and now I use it if I feel anxious, sad, or want to vent. I'm realizing how unhealthy this all is and want to return to going to God for these struggles. I feel like it's so addictive. Curious if anyone else has navigated this and what has worked for you to ween yourself off?

I'm 29F, originally from Canada and have been dating a Welsh guy for the past 7 months. His family is aware of me and I have spoken to them on the phone multiple times, even his grandmother and sisters. He's done the same with mine, but obviously hasn't met them in person yet as they don't like jn the UK. He's mentioned to me many times how he wants me to meet his family, and how I'm so special to him but no plan yet has been set.

His family lives in wales (Cardiff )I've brought it up a few times, mentioning my enthusiasm in meeting them in person too. He agrees, but then nothing materializes. In June I told him I wanted to meet his family by the end of summer, he nodded but then August rolled around and he started staying how his family is busy because his sister was due with her baby in August.

For additional context, apparently his previous girlfriend of 15 months only met his family once, so he doesn't seem to come from a family where partners are constantly around each other.

I'm dating with the intention of eventually getting married, so meeting family is important to me and I don't think 7 months is particularly early.

Would you consider this pretty normal given the circumstances, or a slight yellow flag because he keeps agreeing but hasn't actually made a plan? Would you bring it up again or leave the ball in his court?

I have a male friend I’ve known for years who is Asian. He’s told me that growing up he felt insecure about his race and sometimes felt undesirable because of it. At different points he’s tried to relate that experience to me because I’m a Black woman, almost assuming I must have grown up feeling similarly. The thing is, I actually can’t relate to that. I never grew up feeling insecure about being Black or viewing my race as something that made me undesirable.

Over the years, though, I’ve noticed that he compares himself to me quite a lot. I apparently inspired him to pursue a particularly field as a career, and he’s job searching now. Recently he told me that whenever he’s going through a difficult period, he thinks about some of the hard situations I’ve gone through and where I am now. Even members of his family have used me as a benchmark when talking to him about career/life stuff.

I have really mixed feelings about it.

Part of me is genuinely touched. It’s nice knowing that somebody can look at things I’ve overcome and think, “If she got through that, maybe I can too.” I’m happy if anything I’ve done encourages someone else.

But another part of me feels uncomfortable being made into a benchmark. I’m just a person figuring out my own life. I’ve had career setbacks, rejection, difficult periods and plenty of moments where I had no idea what I was doing. my life isn’t some straight line of achievement.

And sometimes I wonder if part of why this bothers me is because there already seems to be so much pressure for Black women to be exceptional. Educated, ambitious, successful, resilient, independent, emotionally strong, always overcoming something. Then suddenly you become somebody else’s example of “Well, look what she managed to do.”

Meanwhile I’m thinking…I’m literally just living my life lol.

I don’t want to shrink myself or feel guilty about things I’ve accomplished, and I don’t resent my friend for being inspired by me. I actually think it’s sweet that my experiences give him hope when he’s struggling. But I also don’t want to feel like I have to keep succeeding because other people have made me into some symbol of perseverance.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Currently working for a university on the ymv in a policy role and I'm curious if anyone that works in these fieldd has been sponsored. And yes, I know getting a sponsored job is more difficult now due to the changes. In aware of the soc code but curious about your experiences in attaining sponsorship and any organisations you work for.

I unarchived a post from 2017 and 2023 and within hours of it being back on my page I noticed 2 people who follow me liked it. These are quite old posts and I didn't think it would be on people's home page. Were they just scrolling through my page or did it land back on their fees?

I'm 29 and my boyfriend is 33. We have been dating for coming up on 7 months. And I met him on hinge almost a year after I moved to a different country. From the early stages we've had very candid conversations about marriage and kids and our timeline with that. Personally, I am more comfortable getting engaged to someone after 18 months to 2 years of dating. I have a strong sense of who I am and what I value, and I feel like this timeline allows me to vet someone properly, see their true character after the honeymoon phase, and really see if our lives gel well together. This includes things like meeting their family and understanding their family dynamics, traveling together and seeing how they are in different environments, other life challenges etc.

One of the things I am dealing with is comparison and the subtle pressure from church friends and culture to engaged quickly. One of my friends met her fiance last June, became official in August and got engaged in April after 7 months of dating, and they are getting married in October. I know someone else who got engaged after 10 months, and even someone after 2 months but they are no longer with their husband.

I understand dating intentionally but sometimes I feel like in christian circles as soon as you start dating someone there's this subtle pressure to get engaged as soon as possible. I want a healthy marriage that doesn't end in divorce so I'm being really intentional with how I'm handling my relationship but I don't want to move too fast.

Any thoughts?

I was on vacation and recieved a missed delivery card with my name and the attempted date but no other information or tracking number was left. I'm not expecting anything, the only thing I could think of is my passport. I called customer service and they said they could redeliver to my house, my I never received a confirmation email. I used the online app and routed it to my local post office but also never received a confirmation email.

What should I do?

I (29F) have been dating my boyfriend (33M) for several months. Overall, he is kind, thoughtful, supportive, and treats me very well. This isn't a post about a bad relationship.

Recently, he received the results of a career assessment he had been preparing for over many months and unfortunately he did fail. This wasn't a routine workplace exam. He works in a fairly niche area of the rail industry, and there are only two opportunities to pass this particular assessment before the option is gone permanently.

I completely understand being devastated. I would be too.

What concerns me isn't the disappointment itself, but the way he seems to be internalizing it.

For months before the assessment, he put an enormous amount of pressure on himself. Since failing, he has said things like:

he feels like a failure,

he doesn't deserve to be happy,

he feels like he should be punished,

and at one point said that failing this assessment could affect things like us getting married or having children in the future.

That last comment has really stayed with me because I don't fully understand the connection. While career progression is important, I don't understand why one professional setback would determine whether someone can eventually have a marriage or family.

It's now been nearly three weeks since he received the result.

During that time, I've tried to support him as much as I can. I've reassured him repeatedly that my love for him is not based on whether he passes an assessment. I've researched counsellors, career coaches, and mentors in his field and sent him resources. I've reminded him that he still has a career, a supportive family, friends, and an entire future ahead of him.

The difficulty is that he still seems stuck in a very self-critical mindset and tends to withdraw from people when he's struggling. He has withdrawn from his friends and family, and I've been his only support.

As someone who is turning 30 this year and hopes to get married and have children in the future, I find myself paying attention to how a potential spouse handles adversity.

Marriage inevitably includes setbacks, disappointments, career challenges, health issues, financial stress, and seasons where life doesn't go according to plan.

I'm not concerned that he's grieving a genuine disappointment.

I'm trying to determine whether I'm witnessing:

A temporary crisis from someone who is emotionally exhausted and grieving a major setback, or

A deeper pattern where his self-worth becomes heavily tied to achievement and external outcomes.

For those who are married or preparing for marriage:

Would this concern you in a future spouse?

At what point does "having a difficult time" become a legitimate compatibility concern?

What signs would you look for to distinguish a difficult season from a long-term pattern?

I care about him deeply and want to be compassionate, but I also want to be realistic about what a healthy long-term partnership requires.

tl;dr

I (29F) have been dating my boyfriend (33M) for several months. Overall, he is kind, thoughtful, supportive, and treats me very well. This isn't a post about a bad relationship.

Recently, he received the results of a career assessment he had been preparing for over many months and unfortunately he did fail. This wasn't a routine workplace exam. He works in a fairly niche area of the rail industry, and there are only two opportunities to pass this particular assessment before the option is gone permanently.

I completely understand being devastated. I would be too.

What concerns me isn't the disappointment itself, but the way he seems to be internalizing it.

For months before the assessment, he put an enormous amount of pressure on himself. Since failing, he has said things like:

he feels like a failure,

he doesn't deserve to be happy,

he feels like he should be punished,

and at one point said that failing this assessment could affect things like us getting married or having children in the future.

That last comment has really stayed with me because I don't fully understand the connection. While career progression is important, I don't understand why one professional setback would determine whether someone can eventually have a marriage or family.

It's now been nearly three weeks since he received the result.

During that time, I've tried to support him as much as I can. I've reassured him repeatedly that my love for him is not based on whether he passes an assessment. I've researched counsellors, career coaches, and mentors in his field and sent him resources. I've reminded him that he still has a career, a supportive family, friends, and an entire future ahead of him.

The difficulty is that he still seems stuck in a very self-critical mindset and tends to withdraw from people when he's struggling. He has withdrawn from his friends and family, and I've been his only support.

As someone who is turning 30 this year and hopes to get married and have children in the future, I find myself paying attention to how a potential spouse handles adversity.

Marriage inevitably includes setbacks, disappointments, career challenges, health issues, financial stress, and seasons where life doesn't go according to plan.

I'm not concerned that he's grieving a genuine disappointment.

I'm trying to determine whether I'm witnessing:

A temporary crisis from someone who is emotionally exhausted and grieving a major setback, or

A deeper pattern where his self-worth becomes heavily tied to achievement and external outcomes.

For those who are married or preparing for marriage:

Would this concern you in a future spouse?

At what point does "having a difficult time" become a legitimate compatibility concern?

What signs would you look for to distinguish a difficult season from a long-term pattern?

I care about him deeply and want to be compassionate, but I also want to be realistic about what a healthy long-term partnership requires.

​

Hi everyone,

I’m 29 and honestly just trying to see if anyone else has gone through something similar because this whole experience has been really anxiety-inducing.

Up until 2024, my periods were super normal and predictable. Then out of nowhere I missed a period one month, and after that my cycle completely changed.

I started having:

-spotting between periods

-random bleeding

-some very heavy periods

-shorter/irregular cycles

The first ultrasound I had was scary because they mentioned a thickened lining and possible endometrial hyperplasia or a polyp, so naturally I spiralled a bit. This was a month after I started birth control.

But after that I had two more scans, including a saline transvaginal ultrasound, and those were much more reassuring. They basically found:

-mild adenomyosis

-a tiny fibroid they said wasn’t clinically significant

-normal ovaries with follicles

-no polyp

- normal/thin endometrial lining

The gynae said there wasn’t really a major structural reason for the bleeding and that it was probably hormonal.

I also had hormone bloodwork done before starting birth control and everything apparently came back normal:

FSH normal

LH normal

estrogen normal

prolactin normal

thyroid normal

testosterone/androgens normal

The only thing slightly off was possible mild iron deficiency.

What confuses me is how suddenly all of this happened. I keep wondering:

can hormones really just go haywire randomly in your late 20s? Has anyone dealt with this and it went away?

does mild adenomyosis actually cause this kind of bleeding?

has anyone had this happen and then gone back to normal?

What’s also interesting is that once I started the combined pill, the bleeding between periods basically stopped.

Hi everyone,

I’m 28 and honestly just trying to see if anyone else has gone through something similar because this whole experience has been really anxiety-inducing.

Up until 2024, my periods were super normal and predictable. Then out of nowhere I missed a period one month, and after that my cycle completely changed.

I started having:

spotting between periods

random bleeding

some very heavy periods

shorter/irregular cycles

The first ultrasound I had was scary because they mentioned a thickened lining and possible endometrial hyperplasia or a polyp, so naturally I spiralled a bit.

But after that I had two more scans, including a transvaginal ultrasound, and those were much more reassuring. They basically found:

mild adenomyosis

a tiny fibroid they said wasn’t clinically significant

normal ovaries

no polyp

normal/thin endometrial lining

The gynae said there wasn’t really a major structural reason for the bleeding and that it was probably hormonal.

I also had hormone bloodwork done before starting birth control and everything apparently came back normal:

FSH normal

LH normal

estrogen normal

prolactin normal

thyroid normal

testosterone/androgens normal

The only thing slightly off was possible mild iron deficiency.

What confuses me is how suddenly all of this happened. I keep wondering:

can hormones really just go haywire randomly in your late 20s? Has anyone dealt with this and it went away?

does mild adenomyosis actually cause this kind of bleeding?

has anyone had this happen and then gone back to normal?

What’s also interesting is that once I started the combined pill, the bleeding between periods basically stopped.

​

I'm a Christian woman in my late twenties and I'm looking for advice, particularly from other Christians who have wrestled with pornography, sexual desire, and long seasons of singleness.

My struggle with pornography began when I was around 11 or 12 years old. I was exposed to it accidentally after finding it on my family's laptop. Looking back, I don't think I was emotionally mature enough to process what I was seeing.

Part of what made pornography appealing was that I went through a pretty significant "ugly duckling" phase. I was very tall, often taller than my peers, and I felt awkward and undesirable for much of my adolescence. I wasn't asked out in middle school, high school, or university, and I carried a lot of insecurities about whether I was attractive or desirable.

Pornography became more than just a sexual outlet. It became a source of fantasy, escapism, validation, and eventually a coping mechanism when I felt stressed, lonely, rejected, or sexually frustrated.

One thing I've struggled with in Christian spaces is that discussions about lust and sexual temptation often seem focused on men. As a woman, I often felt invisible in those conversations. There was a lot of discussion about waiting until marriage, but very little discussion about what Christian women are supposed to do with their sexuality when they remain single for many years.

I'm not what I would consider addicted, but I've had this habit in my life for nearly two decades. I know the cycle well: I look at it, I get a dopamine hit, I feel disgusted afterward, and then eventually I feel tempted again. I genuinely dislike the effect it has on me and the way it makes me feel. It feels out of alignment with my values and my faith.

What has prompted me to write this is that I'm now in a serious relationship that is moving toward marriage. When I think about the future, I don't want pornography to be something I carry into that next chapter of my life. I don't want it to be a habit that follows me into marriage or motherhood. It's not about shame over mistakes I've made in my twenties; it's about wanting to become the person I believe God is calling me to be.

For those of you who have struggled with pornography as Christians, especially women, what helped you? How did you address not just the behaviour itself, but the underlying emotional needs it was meeting?

I'd really appreciate wisdom, encouragement, and practical advice.

I'm a Christian woman in my late twenties and I'm looking for advice, particularly from other Christians who have wrestled with pornography, sexual desire, and long seasons of singleness.

My struggle with pornography began when I was around 11 or 12 years old. I was exposed to it accidentally after finding it on my family's laptop. Looking back, I don't think I was emotionally mature enough to process what I was seeing.

Part of what made pornography appealing was that I went through a pretty significant "ugly duckling" phase. I was very tall, often taller than my peers, and I felt awkward and undesirable for much of my adolescence. I wasn't asked out in middle school, high school, or university, and I carried a lot of insecurities about whether I was attractive or desirable.

Pornography became more than just a sexual outlet. It became a source of fantasy, escapism, validation, and eventually a coping mechanism when I felt stressed, lonely, rejected, or sexually frustrated.

One thing I've struggled with in Christian spaces is that discussions about lust and sexual temptation often seem focused on men. As a woman, I often felt invisible in those conversations. There was a lot of discussion about waiting until marriage, but very little discussion about what Christian women are supposed to do with their sexuality when they remain single for many years.

I'm not what I would consider addicted, but I've had this habit in my life for nearly two decades. I know the cycle well: I look at it, I get a dopamine hit, I feel disgusted afterward, and then eventually I feel tempted again. I genuinely dislike the effect it has on me and the way it makes me feel. It feels out of alignment with my values and my faith.

What has prompted me to write this is that I'm now in a serious relationship that is moving toward marriage. When I think about the future, I don't want pornography to be something I carry into that next chapter of my life. I don't want it to be a habit that follows me into marriage or motherhood. It's not about shame over mistakes I've made in my twenties; it's about wanting to become the person I believe God is calling me to be.

For those of you who have struggled with pornography as Christians, especially women, what helped you? How did you address not just the behaviour itself, but the underlying emotional needs it was meeting?

I'd really appreciate wisdom, encouragement, and practical advice.

I am a 29-year-old woman looking for help understanding a change in my menstrual cycle and whether my symptoms point toward a hormonal issue, adenomyosis, endometriosis, diminished ovarian reserve, or something else.

History

Up until 2024, my menstrual cycles were very regular and predictable. Then one month I unexpectedly missed a period. After that, my cycle became significantly disrupted.

Symptoms included:

- Irregular cycles ranging from approximately 19–35 days

- Bleeding between periods

- Spotting

- Some episodes of very heavy bleeding

- Sudden change from previously normal cycles

I do NOT have:

- Pain during intercourse

- Bleeding after intercourse

- Severe chronic pelvic pain

- Known history of endometriosis

- Previous gynecological surgery

Current Status

In May 2025 I started the combined oral contraceptive pill (COCP) on a 21/7 regimen.

Since starting the pill:

- The intermenstrual bleeding has stopped

- My withdrawal bleeds are light and predictable

- Symptoms are largely controlled

Bloodwork (February 2025, before starting birth control)

Hormones:

- FSH: 7.1 IU/L (normal)

- LH: 2.9 IU/L (normal)

- Estradiol: 107 pmol/L (normal)

- Prolactin: 8.0 ug/L (normal)

- DHEA-S: 6.9 umol/L (normal)

- Free Testosterone: 15 pmol/L (normal)

- Androstenedione: 3.0 nmol/L (normal)

- 17-Hydroxyprogesterone: 0.9 nmol/L (normal)

- TSH: 1.5 mIU/L (normal)

Other findings:

- Hemoglobin: 127 g/L

- Low MCV (76)

- Low MCH (25.1)

- Mild iron deficiency pattern

No doctor has diagnosed me with PCOS.

Ultrasound #1 (June 2025)

Pelvic ultrasound findings:

- Uterus normal size and contour

- Endometrium measured 11.5 mm

- Appearance highly suggestive of endometrial hyperplasia or endometrial polyp

- No internal vascularity on Doppler

- Right ovary volume 3.4 ml with multiple small follicles and normal appearance

- Left ovary volume 2.7 ml with normal follicular activity

- No adnexal abnormality

- No free fluid

Impression:

- Possible endometrial hyperplasia or endometrial polyp

- Recommended gynecology referral and further imaging

Follow-up Investigations

After the initial scan I underwent additional gynecological assessment and further imaging.

Specialist Gynecology Review and Transvaginal Ultrasound (November 2025)

Findings:

- Anteverted, mobile uterus

- Mild adenomyosis

- Tiny posterior fibroid (not clinically significant)

- Thin, regular endometrium

- No polyp seen

- No obvious deep infiltrating endometriosis

- Both ovaries morphologically normal

- Small right para-ovarian/fimbrial cyst, considered clinically insignificant

Specialist conclusion:

- The scans did not reveal a clear cause for my symptoms

- Adenomyosis was considered unlikely to explain my bleeding pattern

- Combined oral contraceptive pill or Mirena were recommended management options

Questions

1. Does this pattern sound more consistent with hormonal dysregulation/anovulatory bleeding than adenomyosis or endometriosis?

2. Could a missed ovulation or anovulatory cycle trigger the sudden onset of irregular bleeding that then persisted?

3. Do my normal FSH, LH, estradiol, ovarian appearance, and follicle findings make diminished ovarian reserve or perimenopause unlikely?

4. Is it common for mild adenomyosis to be found incidentally and not be the primary cause of symptoms?

5. Does the fact that my bleeding normalized on the combined pill support a hormonal cause?

6. Based on this information, would there be any reason to be concerned about future fertility?

Wanted a cheap holiday from London and booked a trip to Corfu. I admit I didn't do too much investigating until I fully booked and then I regretted it. I'm here now and leaving on Friday but it's by far the worst place I've ever visited - dirty, abandoned, and it has a very creepy and desperate vibe. The rest of Corfu is wonderful and I have been taking day trips in the days I've been here.

Unfortunately my first time in Greece. I'd come back to Greece in the future but I'd never recommend this area to anyone

Avoid.

everyone, I’m 28 and honestly just trying to see if anyone else has gone through something similar because this whole experience has been really anxiety-inducing.

Up until 2024, my periods were super normal and predictable. Then out of nowhere I missed a period one month, and after that my cycle completely changed. I started having: spotting between periods random bleeding some very heavy periods shorter/irregular cycles

The first ultrasound I had was scary because they mentioned a thickened lining and possible endometrial hyperplasia or a polyp, so naturally I spiralled a bit.

But after that I had two more scans, including a transvaginal ultrasound, and those were much more reassuring. They basically found:

mild adenomyosis a tiny fibroid they said wasn’t clinically significant normal ovaries no polyp normal/thin endometrial lining

The gynae said there wasn’t really a major structural reason for the bleeding and that it was probably hormonal.

I also had hormone bloodwork done before starting birth control and everything apparently came back normal: FSH normal LH normal estrogen normal prolactin normal thyroid normal testosterone/androgens normal

The only thing slightly off was possible mild iron deficiency.

What confuses me is how suddenly all of this happened. I keep wondering: can hormones really just go haywire randomly in your late 20s? Has anyone dealt with this and it went away? does mild adenomyosis actually cause this kind of bleeding? has anyone had this happen and then gone back to normal? What’s also interesting is that once I started the combined pill, the bleeding between periods basically stopped.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months now and honestly this is the healthiest relationship I’ve had in a long time. He’s kind, consistent, emotionally affectionate, supportive, and I genuinely do love him. Compared to my last relationship, this one feels very emotionally safe.

But lately I’ve been having this weird unsettled feeling and I can’t tell if I’m overthinking or noticing something important.

The main thing is that his entire life revolves around trains. And I don’t mean casually lol. He works in the rail industry, does train photography in his spare time, travels mainly for trains, and even a lot of his family bonding revolves around trains too because his dad is into it as well.

Like if he has a free morning before work, he’ll wake up at 6am to go take train photos before his shift. Before a major exam recently, one of the things stressing him out was the fact he’d miss a sunny day for train photography. He nearly missed his sister’s wedding and Christmas because of work too.

I think what’s bothering me isn’t the hobby itself. I actually think it’s nice when people have passions. It’s more that it feels like EVERYTHING in his life funnels through this one thing.

He’s also very socially cautious. For example:

* he declined my cousin’s baby shower because he wouldn’t know anyone,

* he didn’t want to do a double date because he doesn’t know my friends,

* when my friend visited from Canada he didn’t really make much effort to meet her,

* and he’s said before that when he’s invited places where he doesn’t know people he feels like he “shouldn’t be there.”

Meanwhile I’m someone who’s very family/community oriented. I moved abroad alone, I travel a lot, I love trying new things, and when I imagine marriage I picture two families blending together, shared holidays, trips, social integration etc.

I think I’m scared of ending up in a relationship where we love each other but our worlds never fully merge.

At the same time, I don’t want to self-sabotage something good because I’m used to chaos and this relationship is actually healthy. He does show up for me emotionally in a lot of ways. He donated to my 5K, supports my goals, talks about a future together, reassures me a lot, and I genuinely feel cared for.

Another thing that’s been sitting with me is how limited he can be with food and new experiences generally. He pretty much only eats very plain British food and won’t even really use seasoning like salt or pepper. He’s never tried a lot of really common foods in London like Jamaican or Chinese food and doesn’t seem very curious to either. Again, it’s not that I need someone exactly like me, but food to me represents openness and willingness to experience life. I think that’s why it stands out to me more than the actual food itself.

I’m meeting his family soon and I think that’ll honestly tell me a lot. I guess I’m just trying to figure out if I’m:

* overthinking because I’m scared of choosing wrong, or

* correctly picking up on a real long-term incompatibility around lifestyle/social integration.

Would appreciate honest perspectives, especially from people who’ve dated someone very niche/routine-oriented while being more socially expansive themselves.

tl;dr

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months now and honestly this is the healthiest relationship I’ve had in a long time. He’s kind, consistent, emotionally affectionate, supportive, and I genuinely do love him. Compared to my last relationship, this one feels very emotionally safe.

But lately I’ve been having this weird unsettled feeling and I can’t tell if I’m overthinking or noticing something important.

The main thing is that his entire life revolves around trains. And I don’t mean casually lol. He works in the rail industry, does train photography in his spare time, travels mainly for trains, and even a lot of his family bonding revolves around trains too because his dad is into it as well.

Like if he has a free morning before work, he’ll wake up at 6am to go take train photos before his shift. Before a major exam recently, one of the things stressing him out was the fact he’d miss a sunny day for train photography. He nearly missed his sister’s wedding and Christmas because of work too.

I think what’s bothering me isn’t the hobby itself. I actually think it’s nice when people have passions. It’s more that it feels like EVERYTHING in his life funnels through this one thing.

He’s also very socially cautious. For example:

• he declined my cousin’s baby shower because he wouldn’t know anyone,
• he didn’t want to do a double date because he doesn’t know my friends,
• when my friend visited from Canada he didn’t really make much effort to meet her,
• and he’s said before that when he’s invited places where he doesn’t know people he feels like he “shouldn’t be there.”

Meanwhile I’m someone who’s very family/community oriented. I moved abroad alone, I travel a lot, I love trying new things, and when I imagine marriage I picture two families blending together, shared holidays, trips, social integration etc.

I think I’m scared of ending up in a relationship where we love each other but our worlds never fully merge.

At the same time, I don’t want to self-sabotage something good because I’m used to chaos and this relationship is actually healthy. He does show up for me emotionally in a lot of ways. He donated to my 5K, supports my goals, talks about a future together, reassures me a lot, and I genuinely feel cared for.

Another thing that’s been sitting with me is how limited he can be with food and new experiences generally. He pretty much only eats very plain British food and won’t even really use seasoning like salt or pepper. He’s never tried a lot of really common foods in London like Jamaican or Chinese food and doesn’t seem very curious to either. Again, it’s not that I need someone exactly like me, but food to me represents openness and willingness to experience life. I think that’s why it stands out to me more than the actual food itself.

I’m meeting his family soon and I think that’ll honestly tell me a lot. I guess I’m just trying to figure out if I’m:

• overthinking because I’m scared of choosing wrong, or
• correctly picking up on a real long-term incompatibility around lifestyle/social integration.

Would appreciate honest perspectives, especially from people who’ve dated someone very niche/routine-oriented while being more socially expansive themselves.