u/reemreemreemreem

I’m obsessed with Cyklar’s Vanilla Verve scent and genuinely can’t get enough of it. I already have Phlur Vanilla Skin which is pretty similar but I’m looking for something stronger and longer lasting and ideally even more similar to Vanilla Verve!

I (22F) have noticed my boyfriend (21M) acting different the past 10 days. He didn’t suddenly become a completely different person or completely stopped being affectionate. It was subtle enough that i couldn’t really prove anything but the overall energy just felt different. He wasn’t as soft or emotional with me, his tone felt different and he seemed to snap more easily.
I literally brought it up to him every single day because I could feel that something had changed, it even caused several arguments between us, but he consistently told me that nothing was going on. After a while, I genuinely started wondering if I was going crazy or just overthinking everything.

Then I found out that he had restarted taking testosterone/steroids around the same time this started. The only reason I found out was because his dad discovered them in his room and started questioning him about it and he told me.

We’ve talked about this before because when he was taking steroids in the past, I noticed a similar change in the way he acted toward me and he became much less affectionate, he even admitted this himself and said it made him so different.
I’m mostly hurt that he let me wonder for so many days when he knew this has caused a similar issue before. He normally tells me everything, so I don’t understand why he couldn’t just tell me he had restarted. He keeps saying it’s a “normal dose” and that I shouldn’t connect the two.

Me (f23) and this girl (f23) were best friends since our first year of university. We were very close at first, but one of the main issues was that she would always stay “friends” with people (specifically guys) who had done me wrong. It felt like she cared more about staying relevant with certain people than having my back, and that eventually led to us falling out for a couple months. We did end up becoming friends again in second year after we both got into relationships. There was also a rumor situation where a guy we both barely knew claimed he slept with her, which wasn’t true (I was there). He said it in front of my boyfriend as they’re in the same extended friend group but not close, my boyfriend told me about it and asked me not to say anything. I made it very clear to him that it wasn’t true and fully defended her, but I still told her because she obviously deserved to know. She was understandably really upset and i tried my absolute best to comfort her and made it clear that i was absolutely disgusted by that guy who made the rumor up, but I think she still held some resentment toward me because I was associated with my boyfriend. She and her boyfriend were especially upset that he didn’t defend her in the moment, even though he genuinely didn’t know if it was true or not and had only met her a few times. After that, things got tense and she would send posts that felt like extremely obvious shade toward my boyfriend, and sometimes toward me too. On top of that, there’s been a really consistent pattern of her copying me which multiple people have noticed before i did. In first year she was more open about liking my style which i really appreciated. but over time it became more subtle and sneaky and honestly kind of weird. She would clock certain things and be very quiet about it. It got to a point where I stopped sharing outfits or things I bought because she would show up wearing or using the exact same things, from clothes to perfume. It happened so often that even her brother joked about it a few times. It also felt like if she saw I had something, she would always try to prove that she had something similar, could get the same thing, or had an equivalent. It didn’t feel like coincidence, more like she was constantly trying to match or keep up. The same thing happened with our relationships. At the beginning of me and my boyfriend’s relationship, whenever I posted even something small with him (like a casual selfie), she would almost immediately post something very similar with her boyfriend. After a few times I started noticing it was almost identical in vibe/pose.
It also started turning into indirect shade. For example, if she posted something and I didn’t like it (even though she never likes my posts either), she would send posts about “friends not supporting you” right after I viewed it.

Eventually it got draining and I slowly stopped engaging. We weren’t really talking properly at that point anyway, just sending random snaps.

A few months later, near the end of our final year, I reached out because I felt nostalgic and wanted to clear the air. She said she knew I didn’t do anything wrong with the rumor situation.

Despite this, we’re still not close and she keeps her distance, yet she still does small things that feel like subtle one upping or mirroring. If I mention something specific, the next day she’ll send something referencing the exact same thing. Same with things like my hair, if I say something about it growing or looking a certain way, she’ll send something right after comparing hers in a way that feels directed. Like for example i say “oh my hairs growing” she’ll send a pic of her hair saying how thick hair is so much better than long hair😭
This has been a repeated pattern for over a year now. At this point I genuinely don’t know how to interpret it. We’re not close, she keeps her distance, but there’s still this constant subtle copying/one upping.

Am I overthinking this or is this some kind of insecurity or jealousy? What would you even call this type of behavior?

Me (f23) and this girl (f23) were best friends since our first year of university. We were very close at first, but one of the main issues was that she would always stay “friends” with people (specifically guys) who had done me wrong. It felt like she cared more about staying relevant with certain people than having my back, and that eventually led to us falling out for a couple months. We did end up becoming friends again in second year after we both got into relationships. There was also a rumor situation where a guy we both barely knew claimed he slept with her, which wasn’t true (I was there). He said it in front of my boyfriend as they’re in the same extended friend group but not close, my boyfriend told me about it and asked me not to say anything. I made it very clear to him that it wasn’t true and fully defended her, but I still told her because she obviously deserved to know. She was understandably really upset and i tried my absolute best to comfort her and made it clear that i was absolutely disgusted by that guy who made the rumor up, but I think she still held some resentment toward me because I was associated with my boyfriend. She and her boyfriend were especially upset that he didn’t defend her in the moment, even though he genuinely didn’t know if it was true or not and had only met her a few times. After that, things got tense and she would send posts that felt like extremely obvious shade toward my boyfriend, and sometimes toward me too. On top of that, there’s been a really consistent pattern of her copying me which multiple people have noticed before i did. In first year she was more open about liking my style which i really appreciated. but over time it became more subtle and sneaky and honestly kind of weird. She would clock certain things and be very quiet about it. It got to a point where I stopped sharing outfits or things I bought because she would show up wearing or using the exact same things, from clothes to perfume. It happened so often that even her brother joked about it a few times. It also felt like if she saw I had something, she would always try to prove that she had something similar, could get the same thing, or had an equivalent. It didn’t feel like coincidence, more like she was constantly trying to match or keep up. The same thing happened with our relationships. At the beginning of me and my boyfriend’s relationship, whenever I posted even something small with him (like a casual selfie), she would almost immediately post something very similar with her boyfriend. After a few times I started noticing it was almost identical in vibe/pose.
It also started turning into indirect shade. For example, if she posted something and I didn’t like it (even though she never likes my posts either), she would send posts about “friends not supporting you” right after I viewed it.

Eventually it got draining and I slowly stopped engaging. We weren’t really talking properly at that point anyway, just sending random snaps.

A few months later, near the end of our final year, I reached out because I felt nostalgic and wanted to clear the air. She said she knew I didn’t do anything wrong with the rumor situation.

Despite this, we’re still not close and she keeps her distance, yet she still does small things that feel like subtle one upping or mirroring. If I mention something specific, the next day she’ll send something referencing the exact same thing. Same with things like my hair, if I say something about it growing or looking a certain way, she’ll send something right after comparing hers in a way that feels directed. Like for example i say “oh my hairs growing” she’ll send a pic of her hair saying how thick hair is so much better than long hair😭
This has been a repeated pattern for over a year now and i genuinely cant figure out how she still carries so much animosity. At this point I genuinely don’t know how to interpret it. We’re not close, she keeps her distance, but there’s still this constant subtle copying/one upping.

Am I overthinking this or is this some kind of insecurity or jealousy? What would you even call this type of behavior?