u/shankaranpillayi

I used to learn a lot of different kinds of things and leave most of them halfway.

A few years ago, I learned a yoga practice and stayed with it. I completed the 41 day Mandala and continued for over 6 months.

There's a traditional Gurukulam concept:

41 days to establish a practice/skill

6 months to imbibe it

Years for deeper transformation

Looking back, I can clearly see the changes. Not overnight, but over time.

Maybe we don't quit because something doesn't work.

Maybe we quit before it has enough time to work.

Day before yesterday, I attended my aunt's funeral.

I had been to a few funerals before, but this one felt different.

Ṣhe lived in a small village. Around 1 a.m., she passed away. Within a short time, relatives and neighbors had gathered. Her immediate family was in deep grief and not really in a state to think about what needed to be done.

Nobody waited to be asked.

Some people arranged tea and water. Some called relatives who lived far away. As morning came, a few men who had done this many times quickly made a bamboo bier. Others quietly brought flowers, clay pots, fruits, coins and everything else needed for the final rites.

After the close relatives arrived, the procession began.

What surprised me was that only four people were needed to carry the bamboo bier, but many stepped forward to carry it. Everyone wanted to help for at least a little while.

At the cremation ground, the people who knew the rituals simply started doing what had to be done. Nobody gave instructions. Nobody rushed. Everything happened calmly. I also noticed that many of the bamboo pieces and other materials used to make the bier were later used during different stages of the cremation. Nothing was wasted. Everything had its place.

When the fire was lit, I found myself quietly chanting Om Namah Shivaya. I wasn't planning to. It just happened.

I have heard people say many times that life is temporary and that one day all of us have to leave. But seeing it with my own eyes felt completely different.

For a few moments, all the things that usually occupy my mind suddenly felt meaningless. The endless chasing. The desires. The worries. The plans for the future. The need to prove something. I kept thinking, once I am gone, where do all these things go?

At that moment, I remembered something I had once heard from Ṣadhguru. I don't remember the exact words, but it was something like, "What you can count is of minimal importance in life. What you cannot count, that really counts."

Standing there, it felt true. Almost everything I spend my days chasing can be counted. Money, achievements, possessions, even many of my goals. Yet in that moment, none of them seemed to matter. What truly mattered couldn't be measured.

For a brief moment, I understood why people say this world is maya (illusion). I cannot explain it, but everything I normally take so seriously felt strangely unreal.

I still don't know what happens after death. Maybe mostly nobody does.

But I came home with one question that I still can't answer.

Are we spending too much of our lives chasing things that won't matter in the end?