u/supremewuster

I’m guessing the idea of this sub is to allow more free discourse than the regular Blue Jays sub — less of the mods deleting everything they disagree with or judge to be “low effort” (usually due to disagreement).

is that right?

Edit: if that is the purpose of this sub (as it seems to be) I am in favor and happy it got started. If people get sick of criticism they can always switch back to the regular sub and get the endless sunshine

Someone I know, who knows her and her family, told me that her family convinced her to enter treatment

I recall someone posting that they had wondered where she went and were worried. So good news at least for now

Starting to notice that some of the movies I loved as a kid (eg Stand by me) have been less successful. What 80s movies have your kids liked? (70s / 90s okay too)

Unless you ask for "room" it is typical for Barristas or other coffee servers to fill coffee cups all the way to the very top. That is not the case with other drinks you might order (water or soft drinks I think) and definitely not the case with cocktails beer or wine.

oldtimers, is this a newish thing? Former Barristas or servers do customers expect coffee to be served this way and complain if it is not?

bonus q: do you like it that way?

I'm staying with a friend near Truckee California and when you walk around everyone says "hi" or waves. (Edit: I am not in downtown Truckee though)

bonus q: what do people say if there's a stop and chit chat (here people say "nice day today!")

Also: where are you.

For some countries, Ive lived eg Switzerland or much of Latin America the answer is clear one way or another.

But the UK is a puzzle -- seems that some rules obeyed strictly while others are disregarded and definitely a lot of people saying that others are breaking the rules

Is there a pattern to it? Does it depend by region?

edit: why the downvotes? I did not mean to cause offense to what I consider a lovely place to live. (Perhaps I inadvertedly violated an unwritten rule)

My daughter is 1/4 chinese, looks a bit chinese but not very chinese. We are however in good touch with our Taiwanese relations and she thinks if herself as part Taiwanese.

She asked me if she is a "person of color." What is the answer or how would you handle?

esit: I didnt grow up in the USA so some of the phraseology is not native to me

I was just wondering this as I strolled around NYC today, curious what others come up with.

I've been thinking about the Hivemind as a kind of philosophical test of utilitarian versus deontological principles of the good life.

What we don't know is the subjective feeling of the hivemind membership, being part of it.

But if - as reported -- they live in a kind of absence of mental pain and suffering, a complete absence of anxiety and concern -- well that has to be worth quite a bit in any philosophical calculus And if, as reported, the day to day is a kind of joyful peace, that would count as well

What is lost cannot be minimized-- matters like creativity, individual expression, bonds with pets (eg goats). For some philosophical traditions these are infinitely valuable and there is no question. Not to mention (as a commentator mentioned) that the joy / lack of pain was not actually chosen,

But the show (and some philosophies) push us to ask: is something like creavity or bonds like so valuavle that it cannot be weighed against an enormous loss of suffering and gain of joy? That strikes me as the hardest Q posed by the show. Whether, in short, something like individuality can be out-weighed by the greatest joy and absence of pain for the greatest number.

In short I think it is a very smart show to be asking these kind of Qs

I think many viewers are reflexively deontological -- they think that creativity and individuality cannot be weighed against mere pleasure and pain. But I think the show is meant to push that assumption.

NB: There is a separate question of whether individuals have been effectively killed, and that is what yields the absence of pain. Hence the question of whether what they are experiencing is more like a joyous peaceful life, or it is more like death and a robot shell acting out the desires of some other will.

​

I love the Beatles and think of Paul-initiated songs in Beatles as many of my absolute favorites (eg the Medley, Hey Jude, Let it Be, We Can Work it Out, Get Back, among many others) I also love the true Paul - John collaborations.

Lately I have been trying to get into Paul's solo & Wings albums. There seem to be many sincere fans of the stuff -- people raving, in fact -- so I have lately I have been listening to it exclusively.

Unfortunately I just find them hard to appreciate. I listened to "Ram" and "Band on the Run" repeatedly, and while there are moments and flashes or choruses that are catchy I can't seem to enjoy them in a manner close to the Beatles albums. They are ... okay. Sometimes a bit flat to me. I know and respect that others feel differently.

Some might say well, taste is subjective. But I am honestly puzzled because I subjectively do like Paul (Beatles), and it is the same guy! I am more puzzled when I read claims that Band on the Run is better than many of the Beatles albums, for example.

So I guess I am asking if anyone else feels this way? Or whether the answer is to just keep listening and after time I'll get into it and appreciate it as I do the Beatles work.

(I accept that this will be downvoted by the fans of Paul's solo work; all I want to say is, I mean you no disrespect).

I'm the father of two girls (10 & 13) and curious to see how others deal with the challenge of instilling the "right" sense of confidence in girls

We have a happy and loving family with the usual chaos and sister infighting etc. Over the years we have tried to give our girls as most parents would a sense that they are wonderful and loved and can achieve things by working hard etc. We are aware of the effort v. talent stuff. But maybe we have failed anyhow

For whatever reasons among their virtues, humility is not among them (esp the eldest). My wife generally feels that our girls have developed an inflated sense of their own abilities and talents that will not serve them well.

For example, the eldest daughter transfered to a new softball team this year. Or her old team she was one of the stars esp defensively. On the new team she has been relegated to the bench and outfield in favor of the players who have been there longer (at catcher, two coaches daughters have the positions). Whether that's unfair or paying your dues can be debated but she thinks its unfair.

Another example: in math the eldest recently did poorly on a test (a change) and says the new math teacher doesnt make any sense and she doesn't understand her.

The eldest tends to complain bitterly when she feels she has been treated unfairly by coaches and teachers. And here is one place where my wife and I differ: I am more inclined to hear her out and while my wife won't hear a word of it. I guess also find her self-confidence charming and precious and am not so excited about seeing it beaten down.

My wife tends to blame me for giving the girls an exaggerated sense of themselves and what they can do. I will admit I have a very deep faith in their underlying merits and abilities stemming from a deep love for them. But I wonder also if I am guilty as charged and have created entitled girls.

Overall I emphasize "finding where you thrive" and -- when you can -- avoiding things that seem unfair or dont work for you, while my wife is about accepting systems and gritting through, even through what seems unfair or unpromising. I also emphasize that girls can harness anger for being unfairly treated but my wife thinks that doesnt work for girls.

My wife are not hugely far apart and we are both successful career-wise -- myself more by finding my own way, her by unrelenting grit. It occurs to me that my methods might work better for boys / men at least in our world.

Anyhow this may have been meandering but I wonder if others face similar challenges and how they approach instilling confidence but not entitlement in girls? Is my wife right that overconfidence in girls goes over worse than in boys?

I don't understand Columbia student protestors. This country, the United States, started a war against another nation in clear violation of International law; we also effectively kidnapped the leader of another sovereign country and are actively blockading at least two countries.

Yet somehow there has been no student protests at all -- not a peep. Unlike during the Vietnam War, with the many anti-war protests, which arguably came to have an effect on U.S. foreign policy in the 1960s - 70s.

Today, however, on campus, there are protestors are back out on the steps, but not to protest what the US is doing, but rather to support Palestine and urge Columbia to divest in the far-fetched theory that that might put pressure on Israel's government.

I am not remotely suggesting that Israel's actions have been defensible and obviously students have a right to protest that.

But what about our own government -- the one we actually vote for and pay taxes to? I would repeat that protests against the Vietnam War played a role in elections and the eventual U.S. decision to abandon the war. One might expect protests against the Iran War to possibly do something similar.

In contrast, the idea that Columbia's divestment of its holdings in few firms would end up influencing the government of Israel seems so far-fetched in comparison to be comical. Or more generally, that US campus protests might influence Israel. The whole thing, in this context, just gives student protests a bad name.

edit: added Vietnam protests as precedent

I suggested getting a one of those old-school recliners for the back room to watch TV

Lay-Z-Boy or whatever, the big ones

and my wife groaned and said "no please no," "no way" etc like it was out of the question

Another else have this challenge?

Feel like I haven't seen one of those big recliners in ages.

They did take up room but were plenty comfortable-- are people still using or buying them or have they gone out if style or been replaced by something else ?

Edit: I guess they are still very popular based on responses. I'll see if my wife would agree with me getting one

I feel like we are a loving family (two daughters 8 and 11) but there is too much shouting in the home. Mainly it concerns either the girls fighting over stuff, or trying to get out of the house to get to school, sports events, birthday parties that kind of thing -- or kids who don't do things after being asked repeatedly the same thing.

The younger daughter in particular drags her feet, and at the last minute will suddenly decide she needs a new pair of socks or whatever and too often it leads to shouting

I am not too happy with it. I tried a rule that if I have to ask sometimes 5 times, the fifth time will be with anger (similar to 1,2,3 ) but even that doesn't work. It is both parents I will say who resort to shouting when all else has failed.

Anyhow have luck overcoming this? I don't like the shouting it feels unhealthy but here we are.