u/thechosen1_nn

Hi everyone, I hope you're well 🙏🏾

I've accepted a new job offer and that's due to start in a few weeks. Before that happens, I really want to take some time to mentally and physically recharge before my new role.

I've been suffering with chronic health conditions that my manager and team are aware of, but that, and the toxic work culture of the company has really put me down. I am struggling to keep going in my role, most days I don't sleep out of anxiety because I know I'm not happy with the work I'm putting out.

I also feel immensely guilty for wanting to go on sick leave, even if my body is begging for me to take care of myself. I'm really worried about how my manager will react. I don't have an answer as to why I'm leaving because I know it'll stir up drama.

Do I just go to the GP and get a sick note, then send that alongside the resignation email?

Thank you.

25F here! Moving for a job next week. I'm not fussed about furnishing since I'll get that over the coming months - I'll make sure to have appliances and the necessary stuff for when I move in :).

I'm moving into an apartment complex which has a coworking space, gym, and other amenities, but I have health conditions so it's not easy for me to be really active.

I'm quite introverted and content with my own company, so I'm really worried that I'll just self isolate subconsciously 😅

I'm also not sure how to handle my family - I come from a very toxic household which knows no boundaries. I don't know how to tell them that I would rather travel to them than have them come to me. I know if I open that door then they'll use my apartment to stay in the city and make it their own home. But I feel really guilty for enforcing boundaries.

If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it, thank you :)

Hi all, I hope you're well 🙏🏾 I just wanted some insight on how I can support my siblings and next steps. One of them just came to me to inform me that they have both been rejected for medicine for university.

We have an incredibly difficult home life, so I'm incredibly proud of the fact that they kept trying their best to push despite what's been going on.

I don't know how to support them though. They are extremely dejected. We're south asian, so the pressure to go to university this year is immense of their mind, even if taking a gap year to redo their applications would be better for them to get into med school.

As an older sibling, how can I support them when they're going through this?

Thought I'd give some insight! I'm working towards being a SINK instead of waiting around for someone to marry (Single Income No Kids). I've been saving to travel, buy whatever I need/want, and I'm starting to put money towards investing.

It's very much doable! It takes budgeting on certain things and prioritising what you actually need or want, but it's nice to start to work towards this kind of lifestyle :).

Is anyone else a current SINK or aiming to be one?

She had 2 children back to back, and now she isn't who she used to be. Her husband, astaghfirullah, doesn't see her as a wife anymore (he can only see her as a mother now), so now she's raising the children whilst he ignores her.

I tried to tell her to get support and tell her parents, but her parents want nothing to do with her and said that she belongs to her husband now.

I've only spoken to her twice this year. The last time I did, she sounded absolutely broken and exhausted. I tried to keep myself together when she talked about how much she missed her husband, but that he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore 😕

She saw my posts about my holiday and said she almost cried looking at them. It just reinforced how much I don't want children, and how blessed I am to have met cf brothers and sisters here who feel the same way.

25F, I've been wearing it for the last 3 years now. I'm honestly so grateful that Allah put it in my heart to wear it, but I feel so ugly. Like really ugly. My hair is my favourite feature so to cover that up it's been really hard.

I try to put a bow or cute clip on my hijab to feel better, but with the rise of hijabi influencers online taking their hijabs off, it's starting to take a toll on me. I don't have a great home life so I don't have anyone that I can talk to about this 😅 astaghfirullah, I never want to take the hijab off, but when I see these influencers online they look so happy.

And even with hijabi influencers, they just look perfect. I know we shouldn't compare, but no matter how I look at myself in the hijab, I feel so ugly and disgusting. I can't look at myself in the mirror for too long anymore 🙁

Am I the only one struggling with this? I feel so alone.

Hello! I'm hopefully (fingers crossed) moving out in a few weeks. I'm going to be moving into an apartment, but I know nothing about what I actually need! I'll take my clothes and skincare, but that's really all I have since I've lived with my family my whole life.

I think they'll help with moving my items, but I'll hire a moving van if they can't.

Not sure what else I need to do. I feel so nervous!

Moving away for a job, fingers crossed that it all goes well!

I've been abused my whole life, so I'm really excited to leave and get away from my home.

But I'm really scared of being alone for some reason. I don't know why. It's not like my family are a support system to me - I rely on myself alone.

So why does it feel so scary? I'm introverted so I genuinely like being alone! But the thought of being so far away and on my own is making me really anxious 🥲

Wow. He looked absolutely exhausted and run down. I've never seen someone look like that to that extent. I felt bad for him!

He's a new father and he just...had that kind of blank stare when he wasn't speaking? Like he was so out of it. When he spoke he just sounded tired too.

Not that I'll ever change my stance, but it reinforced it tenfold.

How is everyone doing? And does anyone have plans this weekend? I'll just be relaxing!

About Me:

Salaam! I’m Sana — a British Pakistani Muslim based in the UK, hoping to find my future husband here. I’m open to relocating for the right person, though UK-based is ideal!

I currently work as an IT Analyst. I’ve been working in IT for around 4 years now and really value stability, independence, and personal growth. I enjoy what I do and naturally gravitate towards analytical/problem-solving type work.

Religion is important to me and I’m looking for someone who also takes their deen seriously. I’m born Muslim and trying to continuously improve myself both personally and spiritually. I pray, fast, and value kindness, sincerity, emotional maturity, and good character very highly.

Personality-wise, I’d say I’m warm, optimistic, and easy to talk to. I’m naturally more introverted, so I love quiet evenings in and quality time with the people I care about, but I’m equally up for spontaneous plans and trying new things.

Travelling is a huge passion of mine. I solo travelled last year and completely fell in love with exploring different countries and cultures. Ideally, I’d love someone who enjoys travelling and experiencing new places too.

My main interests are motorsports — especially F1, WEC, GT3 and MotoGP. I also enjoy reading, baking, and occasionally gaming (I used to have a PC and definitely plan on getting back into it someday). I watch movies and shows here and there, but I always end up returning to old comfort shows from decades ago.

Communication is a priority of mine, as well as emotional openness, honesty, and humour!

About You:

• 24–32 years old.

• Muslim.

• Prays 5 times a day.

• Does not want children and does not have children.

• Does not want a second wife.

• Monogamous.

• Stable career / goals in life.

• Emotionally mature, kind, and communicative.

• Open-minded and respectful.

• Likes cats 🐈 !

• Gamer is a bonus.

• Ideally someone who enjoys travelling and trying new things!

Dealbreakers:

• Wants children or already has children.

• Not practising / does not pray.

• Looking for polygamy.

• Emotionally unavailable or poor communication.

• Smoking, drugs, or drinking.

Thank you!

Hi, I'm going through it at the moment with my family at home. An amalgamation of financial and emotional abuse.

My work has been slipping a lot. Enough for me to miss my end of year achievements last year. I've been put on weekly coaching sessions to review this year's targets and to hit them, but the environment I'm in at home is making it really difficult.

Managers, is it worth me going to my own manager to ask for resources/help without delving into it?

For the record, I'm not financially able to move out rn. I'm in the UK, 25F. No family or friends to go to. I'm completely alone on this.

I just don't want to risk losing my job, since it's helping me start to save to leave.

How do I move out safely? I'm planning to do it by the end of this year, and the thought of telling my mom terrifies me. I don't know what I'm scared of, because I'll make sure to move my documents way before I announce the move.

I've been telling my family this year that I want to move out, just so that the idea stays with them. Of course my mom isn't happy about it, and she keeps reiterating that I'm the only one who understands her (when she's not screaming or insulting me) and that she doesn't know what she'd do without me (despite the emotional neglect).

Does anyone have any advice here? My friends are supportive of this happening, so I know they wouldn't mind me moving my things to their home in the time being for when the move happens. I'm planning on renting an apartment - but I'm just so nervous.

I also don't know the first thing about living alone. I don't know if I'm prepared to do it and if I have what it takes, but I can't stay in this house past this year.

For context - I'm a South Asian woman, 25F. Moving out before marriage is seen as extremely taboo and rebellious, so I know my family will have a meltdown.

I have literally no energy to move around, but I'm planning on going back to the gym next week to get my body into some kind of habit.

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What food helps you gain some kind of energy? I'm taking vitamin D, vitamin C, and folic acid in the day - I'm in the UK and the way healthcare works here is poor. Every doctor I've been to said that losing weight will eliminate my issues, and that I don't need medication to help unless it's to induce a bleed.

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Being on a calorie deficit isn't an issue for me, because I don't eat enough/at all most of the time. I just don't know what food to eat that's simple to make without overwhelming me if that makes sense? I also have chronic fatigue so it's hard for me to move around.

​

I'm at 85KG and I'm 5'3!

Hello everyone! 24F here - I've been working in IT for a few years but history and archaeology has always been a passion of mine. I wasn't allowed to pursue this when I was 18 so I wasn't able to get a degree and work from the ground up.

​

Now that I'm 24, I really want to just get back into something I really love. Would I have to get a specific degree and then network to find a job? How would it all work?

​

Thank you!

About Me:

Salaam! I’m Sana — a British Pakistani Muslim based in the UK, hoping to find my future husband here. I’m open to relocating for the right person, though UK-based is ideal!

I currently work as an IT Analyst. I’ve been working in IT for around 4 years now and really value stability, independence, and personal growth. I enjoy what I do and naturally gravitate towards analytical/problem-solving type work.

Religion is important to me and I’m looking for someone who also takes their deen seriously. I’m born Muslim and trying to continuously improve myself both personally and spiritually. I pray, fast, and value kindness, sincerity, emotional maturity, and good character very highly.

Personality-wise, I’d say I’m warm, optimistic, and easy to talk to. I’m naturally more introverted, so I love quiet evenings in and quality time with the people I care about, but I’m equally up for spontaneous plans and trying new things.

Travelling is a huge passion of mine. I solo travelled last year and completely fell in love with exploring different countries and cultures. Ideally, I’d love someone who enjoys travelling and experiencing new places too.

My main interests are motorsports — especially F1, WEC, GT3 and MotoGP. I also enjoy reading, baking, and occasionally gaming (I used to have a PC and definitely plan on getting back into it someday). I watch movies and shows here and there, but I always end up returning to old comfort shows from decades ago.

Communication is a priority of mine, as well as emotional openness, honesty, and humour!

About You:

• 24–32 years old.

• Muslim.

• Prays 5 times a day.

• Does not want children and does not have children.

• Does not want a second wife.

• Monogamous.

• Stable career / goals in life.

• Emotionally mature, kind, and communicative.

• Open-minded and respectful.

• Likes cats 🐈 !

• Gamer is a bonus.

• Ideally someone who enjoys travelling and trying new things!

Dealbreakers:

• Wants children or already has children.

• Not practising / does not pray.

• Looking for polygamy.

• Emotionally unavailable or poor communication.

• Smoking, drugs, or drinking.

Thank you!

About Me:

Salaam! I’m Sana — a British Pakistani Muslim based in the UK, hoping to find my future husband here. I’m open to relocating for the right person, though UK-based is ideal!

I currently work as an IT Analyst. I’ve been working in IT for around 4 years now and really value stability, independence, and personal growth. I enjoy what I do and naturally gravitate towards analytical/problem-solving type work.

Religion is important to me and I’m looking for someone who also takes their deen seriously. I’m born Muslim and trying to continuously improve myself both personally and spiritually. I pray, fast, and value kindness, sincerity, emotional maturity, and good character very highly.

Personality-wise, I’d say I’m warm, optimistic, and easy to talk to. I’m naturally more introverted, so I love quiet evenings in and quality time with the people I care about, but I’m equally up for spontaneous plans and trying new things.

Travelling is a huge passion of mine. I solo travelled last year and completely fell in love with exploring different countries and cultures. Ideally, I’d love someone who enjoys travelling and experiencing new places too.

My main interests are motorsports — especially F1, WEC, GT3 and MotoGP. I also enjoy reading, baking, and occasionally gaming (I used to have a PC and definitely plan on getting back into it someday). I watch movies and shows here and there, but I always end up returning to old comfort shows from decades ago.

Communication is a priority of mine, as well as emotional openness, honesty, and humour!

About You:

• 24–32 years old.

• Muslim.

• Prays 5 times a day.

• Does not want children and does not have children.

• Does not want a second wife.

• Monogamous.

• Stable career / goals in life.

• Emotionally mature, kind, and communicative.

• Open-minded and respectful.

• Likes cats 🐈 !

• Gamer is a bonus.

• Ideally someone who enjoys travelling and trying new things.

Dealbreakers:

• Wants children or already has children.

• Not practising / does not pray.

• Looking for polygamy.

• Emotionally unavailable or poor communication.

• Smoking, drugs, or drinking.

Thank you!

My mom's had a very rough life, and I fully empathise with that - but the burden of being the parentified eldest daughter, with no support from my older brother and younger sisters really does get to me at times.

My mom dropped me off to the station so that I could go visit a friend for a few days, but she started to go on about finances and how we need money (none of my siblings work or my mother, just me). It just makes me feel more and more stressed as the days go by.

I am planning to move out when I secure my finances, but it does get to me that the burden has been put on me to do everything. I wish that I was never born sometimes.