u/umekoangel

Please don't say "just ignore them lol" because these types of comments get 1k+ likes on Twitter/X, Instagram, tiktok, etc. So clearly it's a large swept feeling.

I'm early 30s, label hopped A LOT in my teen and twenties (thanks lgbtq-phobic orthodox Christian upbringing 😭 now a polytheistic pagan) before finally settling on aromantic asexual lesbian with a libido that seems to change everyday, throughout the day.

Life circumstances had me end up with a cis heterosexual polyamory (I'm also polyamory) man as my nesting partner and queer platonic partner. He's near my age, we share a lot of similar hobbies. An orgasm is just a way to make the biochemistry in my head go "brrrr happy endorphins brrrr". I've explained it to him and he's like "hey, I accept and am happy with that. We don't need to experience things identically". I say "he's my partner" in public because I don't need to explain my complicated life circumstances and history.

I dress for the girls. I love consuming girl-girl content (sfw content, not XXX stuff, so like high school romance shows/movies/manga/mawha, etc.; tumblr scrolling through girls holding hands kissing, laying side by side etc.).

Then I scroll through social media and I see comments all the time (many from younger queers, rad fems and/or strict gold keeper older lesbians) say things like "YOU CANT BE ANYTHING WITH A MAN OTHERWISE YOU'RE NOT A LESBIAN" or "SAYING YOUR A LESBIAN WHILE DATING A MAN PUTS US IN DANGER". or things like "your centering how you experience stuff around a man!"

And I'm just sitting there going "I love girls. Just because life circumstances happened in such a way that my nesting partner who is also my queer platonic partner is a cis dude doesn't change the fact that 💜I love girls💜".

I read lesbian and queer history stories all the time from the 1960-1990s (stone butch blues, the stonewall generation, etc.). It feels like so many people now are almost falling in the "gold star lesbian mindset" and it's low-key actively harming the LGBTQ community because they're deliberately ignoring so much of queer history, theory, philosophy that brought us here today to the 2020s 🫣

So apparently the devs confirmed more music verse. I feel yuumi should be the social media manager of one or of many of the bands. It'd be so cute to see her float on book with a scenecore outfit with her recall scrolling on a floating tablet or phone with book as perch

How'd you get started into it?

Asking because I LOVE the horror scene and notice there's a huge overall lack of horror related sims 4 mod stuff (beyond extremely violence and sacrificial's mods).

Necrodog's mods don't work and I haven't seen them address things online in forever so I'd love to tentatively dip my toes into this.

Whose the best choice for good quality but not outrageously expensive prints of your artwork?

I want high noon yuumi. Have her have a cute little 1800s dress with a paracel and a tiny, tiny little hat

The emails messages I copy/pasted at the bottom and that's what this post is about.

For context: adoptive family is addicted to cruises, gets travelers depression whenever not traveling, adoptive dad made 120k+ before retiring, they're well I to their senior years, I'm early 30s and haven't had a paycheck in about 8 months because my chronic illness is so severe and unpredictable right now.

I'm cutting these people off as soon as I get ssdi because I hate this performative bullshit.

I'm posting in mutual aid groups to try to fund a service animal now. One of my roommates (best friends) works in the vet field so she can easily bring home extra pet supplies to help once we have the dog, it's just the initial cost.

============================

My text: (paraphrased summary - explaining an important medical diagnosis and updating on symptoms, I'm on minimum contact with them for my own wellbeing)

Adoptive dad: (deadname), Thanks for the update. We are trying to take it all in and prioritize the issues. It seems to us that muscle guarding and the development of bone spurs are the source of most pain(?) Can muscle guarding be controlled with medication or therapy? Same therapy question for the bone spurs? Is surgery the best apparent solution for the bone spurs? Or are there other remedies for these conditions? Are you comfortable with the quality of doctors'/specialists' attention and care that you receive there?

We are VERY sympathetic but also frustrated that we can't think of a way that we can help to reduce/eliminate your pain and see your body begin to operate like it should. That's what parents want to do for their children.

Love,

Mom and Dad

My text back: Hi Mom and Dad,

One of the biggest things I am pursuing is a service dog.

A service dog would not cure any of my conditions, but it could help me manage several of them on a daily basis. Because of my narcolepsy, chronic low blood pressure, dizziness, fatigue, and PTSD-related issues, a properly trained service dog could provide alerts, grounding, and assistance that would help me function more safely and independently.

At this point, a lot of my medical care is focused on management rather than finding a single cure. The specialists are continuing to investigate the neck issues, muscle guarding, bone spurs, connective tissue problems, and chronic pain, but there is no obvious "one surgery" or "one medication" that fixes everything. Much of my care involves reducing symptoms, improving quality of life, and preventing injuries or medical emergencies.

A service dog falls into that category. It would be another tool that could help me navigate daily life more safely, much like medication, compression garments, physical therapy, mobility aids, or other supportive treatments.

Ideally I'd find one at the Humane Society and do the training myself beyond the medical alerts (when my blood pressure drops, when narcolepsy flares, etc.). The local one charges $50 for adult dogs (not puppies or senior). After that get some dog food and it'll hold me over. 

Adoptive parents: That sounds like a very good plan. We hope you get a service dog as loving as (pet I had when younger).

=================================

Both adoptive parents have never had chronic health problems. Adoptive parents maybe about a year ago visited me and my partner. We went to dinner, my partner had work running late so I had to handle dinner on my own (public restaurant). On the way back to the car, my adoptive dad roughly grabbed the side of abdomen and was like "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LOSE THIS EXTRA WEIGHT ????" (I was too godsmacked to say or do anything because who the hell does that ? I know if my partner was there I wouldn't have gone). Fast forward to maybe 1-2 months ago and they visit again. They wanted to go onto a local military base that had a civilain area on it but it required EXTENSIVE paperwork. I looked at the wording of the paperwork and I frankly didn't feel comfortable signing my name on it (long story, not getting into it). Adoptive dad pouted like a toddler and accused me of having an "attitude problem" when I just didn't feel comfortable giving my details (and other info) with this extensive paperwork. They have the emotional depth of a puddle. While financially they have provided for me, THAT IS IT. I have had SEVERE emotional and psychological neglect from both adoptive parents. I wish I could legally un-adopt myself but I know that's damn near impossible to do (even with a lawyer). Once I get SSDI for my disabilities (my lawyer says my case is almost 100% certain to win - I haven't gotten approved yet because of paperwork errors on the government's end), I am cutting them off and blocking them on everything. My health is too unpredictable to reliably get a paycheck right now because I got the devil's dice genetics wise.

I spent YEARS begging them for family therapy (or therapy of any kind) about from ages 18-25 but that went nowhere. If my adoptive dad doesn't have things go exactly his way, he stomps his feet and throws a tantrum like a toddler. Despite being in his 80s. I've told them repeatedly "I don't go by (deadname here), call me (new name here)" and adoptive dad yelled "THAT IS A PHONY NAME!" angerily.

The emails messages I copy/pasted at the bottom and that's what this post is about.

For context: adoptive family is addicted to cruises, gets travelers depression whenever not traveling, adoptive dad made 120k+ before retiring, they're well I to their senior years, I'm early 30s and haven't had a paycheck in about 8 months because my chronic illness is so severe and unpredictable right now.

I'm cutting these people off as soon as I get ssdi because I hate this performative bullshit.

I'm posting in mutual aid groups to try to fund a service animal now. One of my roommates (best friends) works in the vet field so she can easily bring home extra pet supplies to help once we have the dog, it's just the initial cost.

============================

My text: (paraphrased summary - explaining an important medical diagnosis and updating on symptoms, I'm on minimum contact with them for my own wellbeing)

Adoptive dad: (deadname), Thanks for the update. We are trying to take it all in and prioritize the issues. It seems to us that muscle guarding and the development of bone spurs are the source of most pain(?) Can muscle guarding be controlled with medication or therapy? Same therapy question for the bone spurs? Is surgery the best apparent solution for the bone spurs? Or are there other remedies for these conditions? Are you comfortable with the quality of doctors'/specialists' attention and care that you receive there?

We are VERY sympathetic but also frustrated that we can't think of a way that we can help to reduce/eliminate your pain and see your body begin to operate like it should. That's what parents want to do for their children.

Love,

Mom and Dad

My text back: Hi Mom and Dad,

One of the biggest things I am pursuing is a service dog.

A service dog would not cure any of my conditions, but it could help me manage several of them on a daily basis. Because of my narcolepsy, chronic low blood pressure, dizziness, fatigue, and PTSD-related issues, a properly trained service dog could provide alerts, grounding, and assistance that would help me function more safely and independently.

At this point, a lot of my medical care is focused on management rather than finding a single cure. The specialists are continuing to investigate the neck issues, muscle guarding, bone spurs, connective tissue problems, and chronic pain, but there is no obvious "one surgery" or "one medication" that fixes everything. Much of my care involves reducing symptoms, improving quality of life, and preventing injuries or medical emergencies.

A service dog falls into that category. It would be another tool that could help me navigate daily life more safely, much like medication, compression garments, physical therapy, mobility aids, or other supportive treatments.

Ideally I'd find one at the Humane Society and do the training myself beyond the medical alerts (when my blood pressure drops, when narcolepsy flares, etc.). The local one charges $50 for adult dogs (not puppies or senior). After that get some dog food and it'll hold me over. 

Adoptive parents: That sounds like a very good plan. We hope you get a service dog as loving as (pet I had when younger).

=================================

Both adoptive parents have never had chronic health problems. Adoptive parents maybe about a year ago visited me and my partner. We went to dinner, my partner had work running late so I had to handle dinner on my own (public restaurant). On the way back to the car, my adoptive dad roughly grabbed the side of abdomen and was like "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LOSE THIS EXTRA WEIGHT ????" (I was too godsmacked to say or do anything because who the hell does that ? I know if my partner was there I wouldn't have gone). Fast forward to maybe 1-2 months ago and they visit again. They wanted to go onto a local military base that had a civilain area on it but it required EXTENSIVE paperwork. I looked at the wording of the paperwork and I frankly didn't feel comfortable signing my name on it (long story, not getting into it). Adoptive dad pouted like a toddler and accused me of having an "attitude problem" when I just didn't feel comfortable giving my details (and other info) with this extensive paperwork. They have the emotional depth of a puddle. While financially they have provided for me, THAT IS IT. I have had SEVERE emotional and psychological neglect from both adoptive parents. I wish I could legally un-adopt myself but I know that's damn near impossible to do (even with a lawyer). Once I get SSDI for my disabilities (my lawyer says my case is almost 100% certain to win - I haven't gotten approved yet because of paperwork errors on the government's end), I am cutting them off and blocking them on everything. My health is too unpredictable to reliably get a paycheck right now because I got the devil's dice genetics wise.

I spent YEARS begging them for family therapy (or therapy of any kind) about from ages 18-25 but that went nowhere. If my adoptive dad doesn't have things go exactly his way, he stomps his feet and throws a tantrum like a toddler. Despite being in his 80s. I've told them repeatedly "I don't go by (deadname here), call me (new name here)" and adoptive dad yelled "THAT IS A PHONY NAME!" angerily.

The emails messages I copy/pasted at the bottom and that's what this post is about.

For context: adoptive family is addicted to cruises, gets travelers depression whenever not traveling, adoptive dad made 120k+ before retiring, they're well I to their senior years, I'm early 30s and haven't had a paycheck in about 8 months because my chronic illness is so severe and unpredictable right now.

I'm cutting these people off as soon as I get ssdi because I hate this performative bullshit.

I'm posting in mutual aid groups to try to fund a service animal now. One of my roommates (best friends) works in the vet field so she can easily bring home extra pet supplies to help once we have the dog, it's just the initial cost.

============================

My text: (paraphrased summary - explaining an important medical diagnosis and updating on symptoms, I'm on minimum contact with them for my own wellbeing)

Adoptive dad: (deadname), Thanks for the update. We are trying to take it all in and prioritize the issues. It seems to us that muscle guarding and the development of bone spurs are the source of most pain(?) Can muscle guarding be controlled with medication or therapy? Same therapy question for the bone spurs? Is surgery the best apparent solution for the bone spurs? Or are there other remedies for these conditions? Are you comfortable with the quality of doctors'/specialists' attention and care that you receive there?

We are VERY sympathetic but also frustrated that we can't think of a way that we can help to reduce/eliminate your pain and see your body begin to operate like it should. That's what parents want to do for their children.

Love,

Mom and Dad

My text back: Hi Mom and Dad,

One of the biggest things I am pursuing is a service dog.

A service dog would not cure any of my conditions, but it could help me manage several of them on a daily basis. Because of my narcolepsy, chronic low blood pressure, dizziness, fatigue, and PTSD-related issues, a properly trained service dog could provide alerts, grounding, and assistance that would help me function more safely and independently.

At this point, a lot of my medical care is focused on management rather than finding a single cure. The specialists are continuing to investigate the neck issues, muscle guarding, bone spurs, connective tissue problems, and chronic pain, but there is no obvious "one surgery" or "one medication" that fixes everything. Much of my care involves reducing symptoms, improving quality of life, and preventing injuries or medical emergencies.

A service dog falls into that category. It would be another tool that could help me navigate daily life more safely, much like medication, compression garments, physical therapy, mobility aids, or other supportive treatments.

Ideally I'd find one at the Humane Society and do the training myself beyond the medical alerts (when my blood pressure drops, when narcolepsy flares, etc.). The local one charges $50 for adult dogs (not puppies or senior). After that get some dog food and it'll hold me over. 

Adoptive parents: That sounds like a very good plan. We hope you get a service dog as loving as (pet I had when younger).

=================================

Both adoptive parents have never had chronic health problems. Adoptive parents maybe about a year ago visited me and my partner. We went to dinner, my partner had work running late so I had to handle dinner on my own (public restaurant). On the way back to the car, my adoptive dad roughly grabbed the side of abdomen and was like "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LOSE THIS EXTRA WEIGHT ????" (I was too godsmacked to say or do anything because who the hell does that ? I know if my partner was there I wouldn't have gone). Fast forward to maybe 1-2 months ago and they visit again. They wanted to go onto a local military base that had a civilain area on it but it required EXTENSIVE paperwork. I looked at the wording of the paperwork and I frankly didn't feel comfortable signing my name on it (long story, not getting into it). Adoptive dad pouted like a toddler and accused me of having an "attitude problem" when I just didn't feel comfortable giving my details (and other info) with this extensive paperwork. They have the emotional depth of a puddle. While financially they have provided for me, THAT IS IT. I have had SEVERE emotional and psychological neglect from both adoptive parents. I wish I could legally un-adopt myself but I know that's damn near impossible to do (even with a lawyer). Once I get SSDI for my disabilities (my lawyer says my case is almost 100% certain to win - I haven't gotten approved yet because of paperwork errors on the government's end), I am cutting them off and blocking them on everything. My health is too unpredictable to reliably get a paycheck right now because I got the devil's dice genetics wise.

I spent YEARS begging them for family therapy (or therapy of any kind) about from ages 18-25 but that went nowhere. If my adoptive dad doesn't have things go exactly his way, he stomps his feet and throws a tantrum like a toddler. Despite being in his 80s. I've told them repeatedly "I don't go by (deadname here), call me (new name here)" and adoptive dad yelled "THAT IS A PHONY NAME!" angerily.

So I got invited to a local LGBTQ board meeting that basically works as a support group for my local county. It acts as a public health resource group for the LGBTQ community.

Given the fact that I'm here and deff an atypical lesbian (have a queerplatonic relationship with my nesting partner whose a cis hetero man and I'm an aroace lesbian) - I had an idea spring up after the board meeting (I was invited as a guest).

I think atypical lesbian absolutely needs more advocacy and awareness because being queer is complicated. The idea I had was "atypical lesbian brigade" (ALB). Have a discord, website, links to queer history/theory that shows that anyone who says "I'm a lesbian" in good faith, congrats, you're a lesbian. No gold star lesbian gatekeeping stuff.

I genuinely wish more artist alleys, craft fairs, etc. similar where artists can show their creations with fellow artists and potential clients were done indoors.

I saw a lot of fun or good conventions that I know my art would do amazing at. HOWEVER, due to my disabilities and medication I CAN NOT be outside for extended periods of time, ESP in the heat of the summer. I want to vend at local prides. I want to vend at "odditiy" type conventions. I want to vend at craft fairs. but I literally can't because I would be on the ground passed out even with my neck fan and a cold fan blowing on me given how hot the temperatures get now-a-days.

Hi everyone! I was looking to recreate  Donna Beneviento from Resident Evil. The two things that seem to be hardest to find are something to recreate (or come close) to her facial scar and her dress. Thank you so much!

Hey I have a quick question! I have seen some fan art swirling around that implies Irelia is a lesbian and Karma is bisexual. Is this just fans being fans or is there stuff in the lore (cinematics, written, comics, whatever) that actually suggests this or?

Hey everyone! I'm in the process of getting my funerary small business setup and with that in mind. I wanted to give a gentle reminder:

For individuals who use names/pronouns /etc different from what you put on legal documents (doctor forms, court forms, etc.) please be sure to FORMALLY document your preferred/current name and pronouns!

Even if it's something like an advanced directives (a medical document that basically gives instructions for what to do with your body post mortem) to say "upon death please refer to the deceased as (name here) for any and all memorials, entombments, internment, etc."

This way for funeral services, tomb stones, urns, obituaries. etc. You have legal written document stating how to handle your personal identity.

No one likes thinking about death but it helps protect who you are after you can't advocate for yourself anymore. Funeral homes LOVE specific instructions after death so it isn't left to family members bickering about you!

So I call my QPR my "boyfriend" or "partner" because I feel like saying "zuccinni" or "squish" doesn't quite get the seriousness of the relationship across to an average person :|

So for context I'm 32, adoptive parents are late 70s/early 80s. I was adopted around 10 months old. The APs have a son that's about 10 years older than myself and he arguably inherited the worst traits from both of them. I lived with them for about 18 years before moving in with an ultimately extremely abusive partner that I didn't break free from until I was around 29 years old. I've always had a very rocky relationship that ultimately slid off a cliff.

Adoptive dad has always been subtle narcissist, obsessing over public image, extremely sensitive to how people perceived him, etc. he was always weirdly ornery about money (apparently he made 120k+ but acted like we made 30k instead). Adoptive mom was softer of the two and there's been times where I see her genuinely try to have a voice or disagree with him but he ultimately steamrolls over her.

Anyway, the ultimate point of this post is this - financial assistance and/or financial gifts doesn't excuse the years of extreme immaturity, emotional neglect, psychological neglect, etc. Every conversation shouldn't feel like a financial hostage or two lawyers meeting to discuss business.

I'm on ALMOST no contact with them. I'm waiting for something things to come together in my life (within a year) before I fully cut the chord. But I'm so sick of giving the "too long didn't read" version of the stuff I endured (the entire adoptive family was my first severe bully in one way or another, again, the concise version) and then I'm told "well if I gave you expensive gifts I'd be pissed too or think you're ungrateful".

It's not about the fucking money. It's not about them helping me FINANCIALLY ONLY with XYZ. It's about the fact that everyone in the family has the emotional depth of a shallow puddle and years of begging them for therapy (any kind really).

My adoptive father has physically grabbed the side of my abdomen when I didn't have my romantic partner nearby (healthy relationship, not the bad one mentioned earlier in this post). He's said "I was having an attitude problem" when I didn't give my consent to a lengthy and complex legal document (long story).

I'm done, I'm done. At this point I'm like "TICK TOCK GRIM REAPER"

🏳️‍🌈This subreddit is LGBTQ friendly. We have staff apart of the community. We have many here who are apart of the community. Being gay, trans, intersex, etc. is not a crime and is not "unnatural". Members showing themselves with both Romani flags and LGBTQ related things is fine here. Gay Romani exist. Trans Romani exist. Especially with so many areas being openly hostile to LGBTQ individuals, you are welcome and loved here. I'm so happy you're still alive today. 🏳️‍⚧️