u/wt_anonymous

I am quite sure I am agender at this point. I saw a comment awhile ago that suggested one way to cope with schizoid pd is to essentially reinvent one's self. You are formed from the ground up in your childhood, and can do the same as a new person in adulthood. This idea struck me, as it would seem to be highly connected with the idea of transitioning. After all what greater way is there to reinvent yourself than by changing your name and gender? It had me wondering if, maybe, if I can successfully transition, it might help me cope with my schizoid pd.

I have a 1tb drive in my old laptop. It was pretty slow, always at 100% usage.

Normally I'd just trash it, but storage is so expensive these days, I'm wondering if I can refurbish it.

I relate to AvPD way more than Schizoid. But the main thing that makes them seem to lean schizoid is my lack of motivation to socialize and flat affect.

In truth I don't know *why* I isolate. It just feels like there's this invisible barrier that prevents me.

Whenever I unlock anything in the arcade mode, the game softlocks and I can't press anything or navigate the menu. I have to restart the game. Very irritating.

I don't really know what to do. I tried No Time Two Talk but it seemed stuck on the group discussion and I was too anxious to leap into that.

I made a whole avatar and don't even know what to do with it now.

On different blood tests throughout the past year I've had low Vitamin D, B12, and high ANA (1:160 as of now). My B12 was raised up a bit after some injections but it didn't change much.

When I was younger and a game prompted me to make an avatar of some kind, I always loathed and rushed through the process, completely apathetic to how I looked. Now I will literally spend hours fine tuning my character if given the proper tools to do so.

I remember someone once mentioning I could just test out my model, does anyone have a tutorial for how to do that?

I keep getting this error message with the Pano scrobbler, even though I have RAM Plus on. I also get [TOO MANY EMPTY PROCS]. Anyone know how I fix this?

The first few months I realized I was trans felt great. Like I had finally figured everything out. Not anymore. It just feels hopeless.

I don't have the mental fortitude for this. Figuring out how to present better, having the confidence to tell people, braving the world as a trans person. I don't have that in me. It's too overwhelming, too much.

Really it's just made me admire the strength of those who could.

The first few months I realized I was trans felt great. Like I had finally figured everything out. Not anymore. It just feels hopeless.

I don't have the mental fortitude for this. Figuring out how to present better, having the confidence to tell people, braving the world as a trans person. I don't have that in me. It's too overwhelming, too much.

Really it's just made me admire the strength of those who could.

I've been playing Ring Fit and would like to try something different

They were trying to treat both my depression and schizoid personality disorder with the wellbutrin, and this has by far been the biggest effeect- I feel incredibly lonely.

Before, my thoughts of loneliness were more in the background than anything. Something I wanted to address in therapy, but not something that impeded my day to day life.

Now though, it's on the top of my mind constantly. I can't stop thinking about it, I need to distract myself or it's torture. I'm particularly starved for romantic relationships. I can't stop thinking about someone I met recently, like I have a crush, which is highly unusual for me.

I'm not really having crying spells, but I'll occasionally have split second intervals where I feel super emotional like I could, and honestly want to cry. It could maybe relieve some tension...

I guess it is sort of a motivation to try and figure out my social life, but being so lonely like this fucking sucks. I guess I was repressing this yeah, but maybe my mind was repressing it for a god damn reason because I cannot keep this up.

They were trying to treat both my depression and schizoid personality disorder with the wellbutrin, and this has by far been the biggest effeect- I feel incredibly lonely.

Before, my thoughts of loneliness were more in the background than anything. Something I wanted to address in therapy, but not something that impeded my day to day life.

Now though, it's on the top of my mind constantly. I can't stop thinking about it, I need to distract myself or it's torture. I'm particularly starved for romantic relationships. I can't stop thinking about someone I met recently, like I have a crush, which is highly unusual for me.

I'm not really having crying spells, but I'll occasionally have split second intervals where I feel super emotional like I could, and honestly want to cry. It could maybe relieve some tension...

I guess it is sort of a motivation to try and figure out my social life, but being so lonely like this fucking sucks. I guess I was repressing this yeah, but maybe my mind was repressing it for a god damn reason because I cannot keep this up.

I'm a transfem enby. I realized I was agender maybe 6 months ago. My goal for transitioning is to be able to pass as a somewhat androgynous woman.

The only things I really want out of HRT are softer skin and fat redistribution. I could take or leave breast development and I really do not want to lose size, fertility, or functionality in my genitalia.

So, it seems almost an odd choice to go on HRT if I don't want half the effects. Maybe I could get pretty far with just diet/exercise and cosmetics, idk, haven't had much of a chance to try it out fully.

But aging with testosterone does scare me... I'm 23 now. Maybe, maybe I could pass without HRT right now. But will I in 5-10 years from now? I heard DHT blockers can help but not sure.

300mg of wellbutrin XL, 1.5mg of vraylar, not sure which is the culprit, but boredom is driving me crazy. I used to be content bedrotting and doomscrolling, but now I get so fucking bored. But I still don't really have the energy or attention span to do a whole lot which makes it suck.

Anyone else experience this?

It's been like two months since I started Wellbutrin and a couple weeks of Vraylar.

It's now SERIOUSLY starting to kick in. I have never felt so much desire in my life. Desire for what? I don't know. Pleasure, love, joy, health, everything. I just want more. I want to live. And I don't know if this is good or bad, because there are so many things I'm just unable to experience despite having a strong desire for. I want what I can't have.